Cahiers du Cinema
(For D. Sidhe)
Disgraced pay-for-play columnist, Michael “Speedo-Man” Fumento has washed up on the pages of the New York Sun complaining that there aren’t enough anti-Muslim movies out there. Like a Soviet Politburo hack lecturing the Soviet Movie Directors Guild, Fumento lectures Hollywood on his acceptable rules for making movies:
1. Propaganda Is Good; Artsy-Fartsy is Bad.
In 1942, Hollywood went to war. It began pumping out countless movies designed both to entertain the public and bolster its will to fight. A lot of them were cheap, hokey, or both. … They kept drilling home the message that we must persevere no matter the costs or the duration.
Yes! More hokey movies!! Nothing keeps up the will to fight the Islamahomodemofascist terrorist than cheap and hokey movies. Particularly ones where the suicide belts are made out of black masking tape and painted cardboard tubes. Those things scare the shit out of people.
2. The Bad Guys In A Film Must Be Muslims and Not Christians.
Fast forward that reel to the post-9/11 era. Just how many Hollywood movies (not documentaries) have been made in which the bad guys are Islamist terrorists that do not specifically concern the Sept. 11 attacks? If you have to guess, guess “none.”
Of course, ruling out depiction of evil Muslims in September 11 movies is sort of like complaining that there’s no meat in your sandwich except for the meat that’s between the two slices of bread. Even so, we still have 24 and Sleeper Cell, two Islamaporno films for bedwetters which managed to pack enough swarthy Muslim villains into each frame to give Fumento months, if not years, of wanking material.
3. The Good Guys In A Film Must Be Christians and Not Muslims, Or Even Christians Who Look Like Muslims.
One of the few competent characters in “Live Free or Die Hard,” the Deputy FBI Director, looks Arab. In reality, he’s a New Zealander of Maori descent.
By the way, the guy who “looks Arab” and shouldn’t have been allowed to play a hero was Cliff Curtis. This is Cliff:
And this is a photo of Fumento straight from his own website. Well, the guy on the left is Fumento; the guy on the right who looks an awful lot like Fumento is you-know-who.
4. If Any American Is Killed In A Muslim Country, The Movie’s Plot Must Reveal That A Muslim Terrorist Did It.
In one of last year’s most critically acclaimed films, the severely disjointed “Babel,” what is treated as a terrorist shooting of an American tourist woman in Morocco proves to have been accidental. But the Moroccan police, fearful of losing tourist dollars, stage a desperate manhunt that ultimately leads only to the shooting of a cute little boy.
After studying these four rules, I think I have a great idea for an ideologically correct and patriotically pure new thriller. In it, a swarthy-looking terrorist, wearing only a Speedo, kidnaps Tobey Maguire, and before the terrorist can saw Tobey’s head off, is captured by Reese Witherspoon, who waterboards the terrorist until he confesses his plan to blackmail the United States by threatening to post naked pictures of himself on the Internet unless he is paid two billion dollars and given his old job back at Scripps-Howard.
I’m already working on my Oscar acceptance speech.
The man is clearly just trying to get a role as an Islamofascist in a big Hollywood movie. Pay your dues, Michael!
Surprisingly, Atta is the healthier looking (physically and mentally) of the two. Please never post that Fumento-pic (either of them) again.
More hokey!
Ok, we have the script that turns trolls into pastry-loving food critics. Now, we’re gonna need something that blacks our any pictures of wingnuts in speedos.
That is simply appalling…
mikey
Umm, is that Speedo-wearing guy one of those muscle-builder models you used to see in the back of your comic books? You know the guy, all 98-pounds of weakling and stuff, who suddenly uses a miracle muscle-grow creme and suddenly becomes he-man?
Or am I talking about 99-percent of this nation’s professional athletes?
I guess the hijackers from United 93 must have been Maori too.
V. amusing, Clif, but why the outrage? These are people for whom there is no difference between news, opinion, and propaganda. Why be surprised when they demand art or entertainment as propaganda?
On a less insane note, ask Fumento to screen some WWII movies and tell us how that level of crudity, which audiences bought 60 years ago, will play now.
Then buck up his spirits with the news that the Writers Guild will probably go on strike next week. The studios will be needing scripts! That sound? Why, that’s the sound of opportunity knock-knock-knocking at his front door…
Oh, I misread — except for the Sept. 11 movies, there have been few muslim bad guys. A few Sept. 11 movies, True Lies, Raiders of the Lost Ark (that casual killing of the sword-wielding Arab guy) and Syriana (where there were multiple bad guys, including muslim bad guys).
It’d be awesome if Fumento was on the take from a resurgent Cannon Films.
This guy gets paid to write? Seriously?
Why would Hollywood not feature Islamist terrorists as bad guys? It makes no sense at all…
(linky in case it gets eaten: http://www.boxofficeguru.com/intl.htm)
Sheesh. I get that jingoist xenophobes don’t like people outside the country, but do they not at least grasp that we still do business with other nations? Or that sometimes, other countries generate more income for us than our own domestic product?
Shorter Fumento: Brown people should only play villians in movies!
…
Yes, yes I can argue that. In fact, if you asked me what Hollywood’s only motivation for any movie, I’d say it was money. From Hallie Barry’s breasts in Swordfish to the very existence of a third Shrek film, it’s pretty hard to argue that anything, anything at all, motivates Hollywood beyond the goal of making money.
Now, just because they want to make money doesn’t mean they always will. I’m sure both Waterworld and The Postman seemed like good ideas at the time. But I don’t point to their failures as proof of the Hollywood-Pro-Apocolypse-with-lousy-actors agenda.
Yeah. Because what makes a cinematic villian compelling is the body count of their ethnicity… wait, don’t the Germans still sweep that category?
Cyber-geniuses (whatever those are?) still beat “islamists” (whatever those are) because robots are cool. Half-man, half-robots are cool. Guys hanging out in caves? Not so cool. You know what else is cool? Re-occuring villians, who escape and return to menace our heroes again; Ye Olde Explosive Cummerbund prevents the bad guy from returning in sequels. When islamofacists start being associated with super high tech weaponry, black leather trenchcoats and thigh-high boots, then you’ll see Hollywood start with the islamo-hate. (or whatever you want to call it)
Yeah, Tarrantino has no imagination when it comes to sawing off bits with a knife while someone screams in agony…
And torture chambers? They’re way beyond Tarantino’s wildest dreams.
Nope. When it comes to terror plots, no one can top the Department of Homeland Security Hollywood scriptwriters for coming up with wild-and-crazy, totally implausible plots…
But the Moroccan police, fearful of losing tourist dollars, stage a desperate manhunt that ultimately leads only to the shooting of a cute little boy.
So if it had instead lead to the shooting of an ugly little boy he wouldn’t care? And why is it that when r-wingers and neo-hawks mention kids, I get a big ol’ case of the creeps?
But I think you missed the best part:
…has it occurred to the Tinseltown terror apologists that nobody suffers more from Islamic terror than Muslims themselves? Whether or not CAIR cares about them, we should. So should the moguls in La La Land. Instead, they’re giving us the equivalent of 1943 movies equating FDR with Hitler.
Get it? If you really like Muslims you’ll continue to depict them as blood thirsty murderers! Don’t ask me to explain the FDR = Hitler thing. I think that Speedo is restricting blood flow to his brain.
…who looks an awful lot like Fumento is you-know-who.
I stand In Defense of Ensmearment.
Man, it’s a wonder we didn’t think of it ourselves: we clearly need films laden with clear-eyed, morally decisive vision to win the war for hearts and minds in Mooslam country. Just like World War 2, when we fought the Japono- and Germano-Islamofascists with our mighty commitment to American and Christian values.
Clearly, what we need is the sort of clear-eyed moral resolve that helped America defeat the Germano- and Japono-Islamofascists in World War 2.
Pfft; I think the comment system is killing me because I’m linking to the Rotten Library. The link in question can be found at you-know-what.com slash library/imagery/propaganda/racist-propaganda/ – and shows clearly the kind of clear-eyed moral resolve that helped God’s America triumph over Germano- and Japano-Islamofascism.
In 1942, Hollywood went to war. It began pumping out countless movies designed both to entertain the public and bolster its will to fight. A lot of them were cheap, hokey, or both.
You know what would have been great? If Fumento had actually listed just one of these countless movies with which he’s presumably so familiar. He might have compared Hollywood’s films to, oh, those of Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union or even the UK. He might have compared Hitchcock’s Saboteur to his Lifeboat, wondering about the differing portrayal of Nazis, and the differing class sympathies in each. Pretty minimal, Film 101 stuff, yeah?
But hell, that’d require a conservative to, you know, actually know something.
In one of last year’s most critically acclaimed films, the severely disjointed “Babel,” what is treated as a terrorist shooting of an American tourist woman in Morocco proves to have been accidental.
Um, it doesn’t “prove[] to have been accidental”. It is accidental. You see it from the perspective of the children playing with the rifle before you see anything else. The children firing the rifle at a bus is in the fucking preview for Allah’s sake!
Here’s a movie Fumernto might approve of;
look, i’m not a very good producer, don’t get me wrong clif, but i am a producer.
i can get you mid-six figures for that idea.
i just need to sign here___
and here you can just initial__
also here________
tax ID here________
SSN:___________
and of course transfer of copyright to me, just initial_________
obviously, i’m indemnified from anything you might ever have done or said and you don’t get the same from me, sign here___________
why are those assholes going on strike again?
Does anyone buy the New York Sun? Is it one of those papers next to the restrooms at Starbucks? I think I spilled a non-fat, half-caff frapacino on one once…
David B.
.
I think he stuffed a bunch of grapes down the front of his Speedo…
Here’s a nice recent arab-looking villain to please Mullah Fumento.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_Dimitrios#Alex_Dimitrios
technically he may be Greek but let’s face it – he’s a filthy wog for villain purposes.
Doh. Could someone with the ability to do so please kill my redundant comments? I thought I was triggering an auto-censor or something.
So if it had instead lead to the shooting of an ugly little boy he wouldn’t care?
Only if SCHIP helped pay for the treatment of the gunshot wound.
Good gravy! Is he still on about that? WoC-ist, ScottC, took Fumento to task way back in July for the exact same thing: Nice Actor, But Does He Come In White?
Fumento is like a dog with a rawhide on this subject. And the rawhide has gotten all gross and slimy and squishy, but he keeps dragging it out for us to step on while we’re walking around unconcerned and barefooted….
“Don’t ask me to explain the FDR = Hitler thing.”
Probably:
Bush = President = FDR
“Hollywood” = leftard surrender-monkey traitor-pussies
“Hollywood” anathematizes Bush = treating him like Hitler
Ergo FDR = Hitler
QE frickin’ D.
(Oh, and:
1. War against nation-state (Germ., Japan) = war against stateless terrorists
2. War against Iraq = response to 9-11
3. 9-11 terrorists = Saudi Arabs and Al Qaeda based in Afghanistan.
Ergo:
WWII = GWOT, such that all of the above is given in the given)
Q frickin’ ED, morans.
Um, hey guys? I think your spam filter got me, back there. I swear, it was only one link!
Socialist Clinton-like Hillarycare for Islamofascist Prepubescents.
Raznor – I had a different take, which is that the shooting wasn’t really accidental. I mean, the kid meant to shoot the bus. It just had nothing to do with terrorism. which I guess is Not Allowed.
Oh, great! Well NOW I KNOW HOW BABEL ENDS!
Thanks very much.
Haven’t seen it yet.
Sheesh.
Considering that, rather than exhort Americans of every stripe to drop whatever they were doing and enlist in the armed forces so that we could win the War on Different People, our President exhorted us to go shopping, I propose Hollywood should release a series of films that are basically feature-length advertisements for all the great things available for purchase by the average American consumer.
Oh, they do that already? What’s the fricken problem, then?
[…] You know, the modern GOP. […]
I think Hollywood can weather the writers’ strike by reworking old movies under these 4 principles.
Ex.: Cary Grant’s eccentric aunts are really muslim! Cary Grant now played by the more Christian-looking Mark Wahlberg. He kills the old ladies in the end to save a Christian drifter.
*bows* looks like I’ll be the one accepting that Oscar!
Please someone post something to get that guy off the screen. It’s creeping me out.
maryc said,
October 26, 2007 at 1:20
Um, hey guys? I think your spam filter got me, back there. I swear, it was only one link!
Welcome to my world! I own the Sadly, No! free speech zone, and if you are going to park your carcass in it I demand royalty payments.
Mr Wonderful I fear you solution has an error in it:
3. 9-11 terrorists = Saudi Arabs and Al Qaeda based in Afghanistan.
You should know now that Saudi’s are NEVER at fault, even if Bin Lauden, and most the Hijackers were Saudi.
You forgot this simple equation:
Oil > Truth
Ack! Please make Michael Fumento’s fake tan stop at once!!
Paging Ms. Riefenstahl, white courtesy telephone please.
Gaaaakkk!!
Please, please borrow one of Tbogg’s cheesecake pictures for a new post, ASAP!!
Pleeeease, that picture is really scary- its almost as bad as the one of Jpod showing off his package that Wolcott was linking too.
And the rawhide has gotten all gross and slimy and squishy,
So has Fumento. No wonder the Islamhomofascistcommiez want to make us wear burqa. Bleah.
Lemme tell you how much it sucks to get old.
I just watched Shilling throw an amazing splitter.
Hitter took it for Ball 3.
I thought, “I know what he’s doing wrong! This is the whole deal!”.
And I hurt my arm throwing an imaginary splitter from the other end of the living room to a non-existent catcher to demonstrate how a legendary batter might be induced to swing at the pitch.
And Shilling got out of the inning without me.
But now? OOOWWWW! Do I have to go on the Disabled List?
mikey
Post September 11 has given us only 6 years in which to demonize, and movies take a while to get made, so have a little patience! Still, in addition to the ones already listed:
A Mighty Heart, Sleeper Cell, The Defender, Saving Jessica Lynch, Air Marshal, Cavite, etc etc etc, as well as a boatload of documentaries he doesn’t want to include as if they don’t count.
Hmm, Fox’ liberal bias is clearly showing tonight at Fenway. Not one mention of teh Islamofascists.
Not. One.
Truly brilliant.
I know genius when I see it, and here is one place genius resides.
Hilarious and fantastic. Thank you. If it weren’t for you folks, Stewart, Colbert, et al, I’d be institutionalized.
And it’s close already.
Go Rockies! The damn Red Sox have had enough fun for this millenium.
Signed,
10-years old in 1969 lifelong Chicagoland Cub Fan.
That’s not a real picture of the dude, is it? The speedo one?
I need a total re-evaluation of this post if it is.
Wingnuts in Speedos isn’t gonna become a regular feature, is it? ‘Cause if it is, I’m not reading anymore.
Is that for real? Tell me that isn’t for real. People who pose in speedos aren’t allowed to do political punditry, new rule.
Is Jay B. for real?
You got me blacklisted at Hop-Sing’s?
This man deserves better than Speedos.
I dunno, Bubba.
Me? I’d really like to stop looking at him completely…
mikey
I thought of putting Dave in Texas in front. Better?
Hey my hippie friends! Ready to spar? Sadly, I’m not, so go on enjoying whatever hippie crap you are eating up. I’ll see you in a couple of days! Don’t eat too much hippie crap!
I can’t believe this guy hasn’t logged a comment yet. That’s his M.O. isn’t it?
Hippie crap?
Jeez, I don’t know who buys that stuff. I only like hippies because they seem to be right more often than not. Call them what you will.
Must be highly cognitively disonant to be a Bushie Moron.
Ready to spar?
Anyone ready for a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent, in other words.
That’s just wrong, Matt.
He’s half-armed in said battle of wits.
TomMil wrote:
Yes, it is. In situations like this, Fumento usually shows up and posts a drive-by fuck-you comment, often enhanced with something like ‘I make more money than any of you morons ever will’. I’m surprised he hasn’t put in an appearance yet. Maybe he’s busy oiling his abs.
I was watching some WWII history shows on the youtube, and there was commenter who basically echoed the “where’d all the propaganda movies go? Damned traitor media!” meme. The idea being that, apparently, the in the Vietnam war, the media just up and went, “Hey, know what would be awesome? Enemy bombers filling the skies over New York and killing my family!”
God fucking damn. The stupid hurts.
See, one could make metric shit loads of propaganda movies in WWII, because there was STUFF GOING WELL TO USE. Factories were chruning out tanks, planes, and munitions faster then ever in human history. Every where in the world, the Bad Guys were being halted all around the world, and started to get driven back. Supply lines were filled with aid and food and troops off to the front line. Village after village, island after island were being taken back, and the streets filled with jubilant , grinning civilians welcoming their liberators. Things were portrayed as going well because they WERE going well.
Four years into the Allied rally, and we had managed to retake every one of the millions of square miles conquered by the Axis, and forced the surrender of every Axis country.
Cut to Vietnam, and the Tet Offensive plus Watergate. Suddenly, Americans couldn’t just pretend that all was well anymore. You couldn’t just take your government for their word. We had been constantly and repeated LIED too. And not in the cutesy sort of usual political lies. The government and military betrayed the people they were supposed to be serving, and they lost our trust. 30 years later, to do the exact same damn thing again, then wonder why no one blindly rallies around their cause.
“Hollywood” and the media owe the government nothing. The do not have any obligation to promote any policy, just because it would make some politico’s life easier. Never mind that the insane majority of the propoganda films they made during the war were embarrassingly racist and inane. The idea that they should just cater to the whims of who ever is in charge is so disgustingly un-American that it makes me want to punch a kitten.
Just out of curiosity, how many of you know that US pilots strafed survivors of the battleship Yamato was they floated in the water after the ship was sunk, a clear war crime for which they should have been stripped of rank and duties and sent to prison, if not Hague?
Or that, after Pearl Harbor attacks, 5 US planes were shot down by friendly fire when they approached the base, because the servicemen were so jumpy, un-trained, and un-disciplined to use even basic IFF techniques?
Blargh. Mother fucker. Too annoyed to be coherent. Can’t even get started on the whole “White Christian = good, brown muslim = bad” pablum. Charles Manson, bitch.
“HumboldtBlue said,
October 26, 2007 at 0:01
Umm, is that Speedo-wearing guy one of those muscle-builder models you used to see in the back of your comic books? You know the guy, all 98-pounds of weakling and stuff, who suddenly uses a miracle muscle-grow creme and suddenly becomes he-man? ”
No, but he IS sucking in his gut like a $5 prostitute.
It still bothers me we’re not subject to ICJ jurisdiction. We’re the ones who brought Hitler’s goons to justice, for fuck’s sake. You kill civilians in cold blood, you don’t deserve the uniform, and if your superiors are willing to let that slide they don’t either, and if they order you to and you refuse you deserve a medal instead of what you’re probably gonna get – drummed out at best, tortured to death at worst. (We haven’t gotten quite that bad yet, but we’re on our way.)
To be sung while contemplating Michael Fumento’s speedo pic.
Blah blah blah, you know the rest.
Why, why, why?!?!? What have we done to displease you, Sady, No! INC? We’ve begged you post something, ANYTHING to push that picture down safely below the fold. Be it Tbogg cheesecake, or giant robots or even sammich related
I vote for robot cheesecake sammiches. Mmmmm, robot cheesecake.
And this is a photo of Fumento straight from his own website. Well, the guy on the left is Fumento; the guy on the right who looks an awful lot like Fumento is you-know-who.
These photos made me shriek with laughter.
I wonder if Fumento is concerned about the Mexlamo-Islamofascist connection with actors like this highly suspicious character?
Anothony Quinn
I see Kevin showed up but he says he’s too busy to post.
We haven’t heard from Kevin since the fires started. I am very suspicious. I wonder if he smells a bit like gasoline.
I think Kevin’s a bit of a firebug.
The fact is that the proprietors of Sadly, No! are a bunch of terrorist-loving gaylords for failing to devote any attention to Islamofascism Awareness Week. You’ve been totally lapped by Josh Marshall! Josh Marshall, I say!
It still bothers me we’re not subject to ICJ jurisdiction. We’re the ones who brought Hitler’s goons to justice, for fuck’s sake. You kill civilians in cold blood, you don’t deserve the uniform, and if your superiors are willing to let that slide they don’t either, and if they order you to and you refuse you deserve a medal instead of what you’re probably gonna get
To be fair, Alec, the Nuremberg trials did have a certain air of show-trial-ed-ness about them. F’rinstance, some of the Nazis weaselled out of their convictions because they were able to show that the Allies did similar things. And of course, if the Allies did it, it was therefore, ipso facto and cogito ergo sum and yimminy jimminy, not, definitely NOT, a Bad Thing. ‘Cos we can do no wrong, doncher know.
Victor’s justice is a slippery thing: it’s so easy to get carried away with glee at being able to chant “WE won, YOU lost, made you look you dirty chook, nerny nerny ner”. True justice is difficult, and made more so by winners who don’t admit that they did bad things too. Reminiscent of Saddam’s show trial, or the Soviet show trials: done at least in part to rub the noses of the losers in the shit of losing.
It’s certainly put a few strategic crimps in our human rights/war crimes definitions. Not that the US will be bound by them, of course, but at least they’re something to point to.
Alec said, “It still bothers me we’re not subject to ICJ jurisdiction. We’re the ones who brought Hitler’s goons to justice, for fuck’s sake. You kill civilians in cold blood, you don’t deserve the uniform…”
At the risk of being the troop unsupporting communist shitbag that I’m often accused of being, I’m not sure I buy the distinction here. I know our brave men and women in uniform are supposed to behave with the utmost gallantry and only kill non-civilians, or, if they slip up, it should only be in hot blood.
The tragedy of war, it seems to me, is that it routinizes death. Good people go out and kill, and it doesn’t make a difference if the motherfucker you kill is in Wehrmacht gray, black pajamas, shorts and a t-shirt or a burqua–you become a killer.
Maybe I’m wrong–and those of you who know, correct me–but that HAS to fuck you up.
A writer named Michael Fumento
Don’t need no steenking consento
To put ads in his scribbles
(Hey, he has no quibbles)
For the generous folks at Monsento
On a less insane note, ask Fumento to screen some WWII movies and tell us how that level of crudity, which audiences bought 60 years ago, will play now.
Um, have you seen any of the jingoistic films produced in the last 10-15 years? The dramatic crudity of those films rivals any produced in the 1940s.
Um, have you seen any of the jingoistic films produced in the last 10-15 years? The dramatic crudity of those films rivals any produced in the 1940s.
Have you watched any speeches by our president, vice president, secretary of state, etc. for the last 6+ years…?
SERIOUSLY check out the late-60s movie Thunderbird 6. Middle Eastern terrorists hijack a plane, kill the crew, and crash it into a tower. I shit you not.
Heeey, I know who this guy reminds me of! The “hawk” from “Piss-Shit Technique”!
It’s the facial expression, largely – that and the cockthirsty posture. Ah, Republicans.
I mean, seriously – look at that photo and tell you something like uuuhooo~! ii otoko! (‘yooo-hoo! hell-ooo, hot stuff!’) didn’t pop into your head eventually.
??????????????
?????????????
Have you watched any speeches by our president, vice president, secretary of state, etc. for the last 6+ years…?
False equivalence. I am not dealing with what comes from the administration, just from our popular culture. Forties pop-culture jingoism was little different than today, neither more sophisticated nor cruder, and that is all I’m saying.
See, one could make metric shit loads of propaganda movies in WWII, because there was STUFF GOING WELL TO USE.
Don’t forget simple matters of technology. How many people had TVs during WWII?
But it doesn’t matter. Aside from things going boom and people getting killed, Operation Infinite Cock Up is not a replay of World War II, no matter how many banana sling wearing freaks say it is, which I think is the second point of his piece.
In the paper.
True that, Arky.
And speaking of banana hammocks…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYymOJEnEME
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azwVgviSuUY
More hammock goodness. Because he started it, and goddammit, we haven’t had a good YouTube War is months.
Jesus Jiggidy Fuck, what is that little dude from fantasy island doing on my computer wearing a thong?
Yeesh, that idiot’s speeo pic would be laughed off of GAY.COM!
Is this the part where a female would say “I’d hit it”?
Even so, we still have 24 and Sleeper Cell, two Islamaporno films for bedwetters which managed to pack enough swarthy Muslim villains into each frame to give Fumento months, if not years, of wanking material.
Don’t forget The Stone Merchant. (I know. Technically not Hollywood) Besides being really awful, I don’t think you could make a more jingoistic/racist movie about Muslims. It really lowered my already wanning opinion of Harvey Keitel.
Is this the part where a female would say “I’d hit it”?
Depends. What are you going to hit it with? Good old frying pan? Or some newfangled weapon?
The tragedy of war, it seems to me, is that it routinizes death. Good people go out and kill, and it doesn’t make a difference if the motherfucker you kill is in Wehrmacht gray, black pajamas, shorts and a t-shirt or a burqua–you become a killer.
In addition to the destruction, the disease and the displaced people, this pretty much sums it up. War is bad not because bad me kill people in wars. War is bad because it makes killers out of everybody…
mikey
I guess The Kingdom doesn’t count even though it just came out months ago.
NobodySpecial: What is this “frying pan” of which you speak?
Antique implement from the days before microwaves. Evidently it was used to stress test nails in kitchen walls.
An excerpt from one of his war stories (found at your speedo link):
You know, things have gotten just a little too familiar for my comfort, Michael. In fact, I’m going to go get myself tested now.
My colon constricted because it couldn’t relax or get enough water, then became impacted and burst thereby flooding my body with bacteria.
Yep. Keep your head up there long enough and this is what happens.
You can glean everything you need to know about the Fumento mind from the fact that, in the ‘Hate Mail’ section of his website, he corrects the spelling and grammar of every email he deigns to publish.
That aside, we limey lefties have it so very much worse. Brave liberal Nick Cohen had similar complaints about the lack of stereotypically evil Hollywood orientals a few months back.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,2126737,00.html
I’ll admit that Fumento is crasser in his language, but at least he’s not pretending to be left wing.
The Glories of War! Why doesn’t Hollywood make a movie about that?
BTW, why does everyone always forget the Korean War? It’s always WWII, and then the Vietnam War.
BTW, why does everyone always forget the Korean War?
The mawkishness of Alan Alda was traumatic.
He better not show up at the Vatican wearing that !