Shorter Little Green Footballs
Posted on October 24th, 2007 by Gavin M.
- A mentally ill Moroccan kid in Amsterdam did some crazy stuff and was shot by police, and the ensuing neighborhood-scale racial unrest means that I will sit on my white, hammy ass in Los Angeles, funded by wingnut welfare, and claim that the country of The Netherlands is under literal siege by The Forces Of The Global Muslim Conspiracy.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
Bonus LGF comments:
#4 tfc3rid 10/24/07 9:15:32 am
Amazing that this is not being covered…
#21 galloping granny 10/24/07 9:21:47 am
A friend is visiting from Europe who was in Amsterdam last Friday. I asked him about the ongoing car-b-ques and he did not know the first thing about them, even though he is from the UK and is in and out of Amsterdam a couple of times a month on business.
I think the Dutch authorities are keeping this VERY, very quiet.
#38 Golem Akbar 10/24/07 9:27:18 am
And to think, Holland was once the pinnacle of freedom for the whole world to see. It has sunk into a hellhole ripe for Islamofascist takeover.
Oh Noes!
Its the Thing the Styx Tour Bus Left Behind!!!1!
So it’s a Quiet Riot? Styx left them behind?
Is there anything that can’t be blamed on The Liberal Media(TM)?
And to think, Holland was once the pinnacle of freedom
Oh Holland! I’ll miss your, er, whatever it was!
Clearly this means we should bomb Iran.
Re.: That 2nd comment – My goodness, talk about suspension of disbelief. People in Amsterdam must walk around with their eyes shut. Maybe it’s the hash. The only people who “really see” are the LGF crowd. I think I’m beginning to get it.
It’s like that Roddy Piper movie, where you have to have special glasses to see the (illegal) alien conspiracy.
A friend is visiting from Europe who was in Amsterdam last Friday. I asked him about the ongoing car-b-ques and he did not know the first thing about them, even though he is from the UK and is in and out of Amsterdam a couple of times a month on business.
I think the Dutch authorities are keeping this VERY, very quiet.
Well, yeah, ok, sure. That’s certainly one conclusion that could be reached given the (lack of) available data. But it’s not necessarily the one I’d reach if I was drawing the conclusions around here…
mikey
Last line of the article about the riot:
“Responding to the riots, Ahmed Marcouch, Moroccan-born chairman of the Slotervaart city council, said “it is always the same horrible people spoiling things for everyone.” dpa rl fs”
Amen, bro. Or however you say that in Dutch.
One shall never be sad when one has the LGF comment section to keep one warm and happy:
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
#29 Fjordman 10/24/07 9:23:22 am
Amazing that this is not being covered…
Not really. What this demonstrates, as do the riots in Belgium, too, is that the state is neither willing nor able to uphold even a minimum of law and order and protection of private property. As soon as this becomes apparent to everybody, the state loses its legitimacy and thus the right to collect taxes.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Wait, that’s what Charles Johnson looks like? I’d always pictured a broad-shouldered man in his 30s with a flattop and two chins.
Even shorter LGF: “Kill them all! Before they kill us!!!!!1!1!” That’s pretty much every post, right?
I’m sure the Dutch really give a shit what Charles and friends have to say.
Even shorter LGF: “Kill them all! Before they kill us!!!!!1!1!” That’s pretty much every post, right?
Even Shorter LGF:
“Exterminate! Exterminate!! Exterminate!!!”
OMG! 24 out of the 16.5 million people in Holland were rioting! The invasion is happening! RUNRUNRUN!!
WTF? This happened in Slotervaart, at least a couple of miles west of Amsterdam. Amsterdammers don’t care what happens outside the main canals, let alone outside of town. I’ve been living here 9 years and it’s amazing how little attention pay to events outside their neighborhood. Me too; I used to think nothing of driving from Houston Austin for a weekend, and I’ve been to Rotterdam, an hour away by train, maybe once in the last year.
Seriously, though, it’s been over a week and all we’ve got had are couple of cars torched. A couple of local Muslim leaders expressed their dissatisfaction with the way Muslims are treated, but that’s got more to do with rightwing politicians like Geert Wilders and Rita Verdonk going out of their way for the last few years to pick fights with the Muslim community. People get along more or less despite those two. These aren’t the Paris banlieues. No vicarious thrills on offer for Shithook Johnson.
The *Ajax football supporters* are a bigger problem. They had a big riot a couple of nights ago for god knows what reason. The news gave that a lot of coverage. They’ll cover a flipped-over car in the other part of the country (smaller than New Jersey). They’d be all over a real Muslim riot.
Gundamhead,
Actually 47% of the Dutch say they are scared of having to live under muslim law and almost 2/3 of the dutch say that Islam is incompatible with European life, so unfortunately, even if they don’t care what Chuckie Johnson says, a lot of people in the Netherlands appear to think a lot like him.
Muslims make up about 6% of the population so its a little disconcerting that the other 94% of them are so freaked out about their perceived eventual take over.
its like being scared that the Green party will sweep the 2008 elections.
its like being scared that the Green party will sweep the 2008 elections.
what?!?! the Greens are going to win 2008!?!? OH NOES!!1111!!!!!
And to think, Holland was once the pinnacle of freedom
Dude: Walter, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here, what the fuck are you talking about?
Walter Sobchak: Huh? No, what the fuck are you… I’m not… We’re talking about unchecked aggression here, dude.
Donny: What the fuck is he talking about?
The Dude: The Dutch.
Walter Sobchak: Forget it, Donny, you’re out of your element!
TPM’s merciless in their D-Ho bashing right now. And how many times have you thought of TPM as merciless?
#21 takes the cake… well… t#21 took something anyhow..
Weren’t some of those pisswads predicting 5 years ago that all of Europe would be under shari’a within 5 years?
Seriously, dude, “Golem Akbar”? Now that is some subtle shit right there.
From the article:
No gewonden have fallen and adjournments still no have been performed. There is much police force on the leg in the stadsdeel supervise and the order to maintain.
Aieee! The Muslims have destroyed the ability of Babelfish to translate! We must retain ours! Canned goods immediately!
almost 2/3 of the dutch say that Islam is incompatible with European life
There are provincials in every province. Islam’s been compatible with European life for a few hundred years now, given that Muslims owned chunks of it.
Nylund,
Really? Well one of my relatives from Germany who was visiting recently said something similar. According to him Moslem’s today act like the Catholics of five hundred ago. He thinks Bush and the Neo-cons are completely insane BTW.
Well, that doesn’t change the fact that Johnson and friends are cobag idiots who don’t know what they’re talking about, and desperately wish it was an intifada because that would 1) show those peacenik euro-trash homo-fags a thing or two! And 2) let them hate on the mud people.
the proof that this is a big deal is that no one knows about it!!!
how the hell does a man like Charles Johnson get to be on CNN!?
When I want to know what to think about an issue, I always ask an asshole Red Lobster line cook.
“and almost 2/3 of the dutch say that Islam is incompatible with European life, so unfortunately, even if they don’t care what Chuckie Johnson says, a lot of people in the Netherlands appear to think a lot like him.”
That’s not thinking like the Lizard King, that’s thinking. Sorry, the Qur’an and a lot of things that a lefty like me likes to have in society are incompatible.
#29 Fjordman 10/24/07 9:23:22 am
Amazing that this is not being covered…
Not really. What this demonstrates, as do the riots in Belgium, too, is that the state is neither willing nor able to uphold even a minimum of law and order and protection of private property. As soon as this becomes apparent to everybody, the state loses its legitimacy and thus the right to collect taxes.
I’ve wasted ten minutes trying to wittily snark on this, but it’s just not possible. Its sublime stone-stupidity stands alone. It mocks my haggard attempts to point out its suck (did I use that word right?). It would require a book-length exegesis to fully unpack all the crazy, anyway.
I think there’s a very good chance the LGFers could be convinced to a man that the correct term for a person from the Netherlands isn’t “Dutch” its “Hollandaise.”
Other things the Dutch authorities are keeping VERY, very quiet:
1. What a great success the war in Iraq has been.
2. The WMDs found in Iraq.
3. The hordes of Muslims waiting to invade the U.S.A.
4. The “Mexicans” living near LGF commenter galloping granny are actually Muslim terrorists whose first order of business will be to invade galloping granny’s home and convert her to Islam right before they cut off her head.
That’s it! The girls in Amsterdam are all going to be wearing burqas! It’s all over.
Goodbye, Western fucking Civilization.
I said it before, I’ll say it again for no good reason: Charles Johnson = middle-aged Mennonite woman. All you have to photoshop in is the head-covering and the butter churn.
4. The “Mexicans” living near LGF commenter galloping granny are actually Muslim terrorists whose first order of business will be to invade galloping granny’s home and convert her to Islam right before they cut off her head.
Um, could they even catch her? I mean, granny can really gallop. My money’s on galloping granny, getting out in front of the scary brown Mooslims who want to cut off her clitoris, dress her in a burka and then behead her, then suddenly turning on them at a river crossing and letting ’em have both barrels and a punji pit….
mikey
Here is the latest news from Amsterdam:
Here is the latest news from Amsterdam:
So when are you going to write the rest? I’m waiting.
Nope, as you can see above, he actually looks like a woman.
This makes perfect sense, actually. These people know full well that the Muslims are no serious threat to the “Dutch way of life,” but if they can rile the Muslims up just a little more, & the gov’t. response to “car-b-ques” (Ummm, tasty!) is anything less than “shoot to kill on sight,” well, the gov’t. is delegitimized & they don’t have to pay taxes, which are the real evil.
After all, law & order & protection of “private property” are the only legitimate gov’t. functions.
MCH: I’ve wasted ten minutes trying to wittily snark on this, but it’s just not possible. Its sublime stone-stupidity stands alone. It mocks my haggard attempts to point out its suck.
Ah, you’ve stumbled on the Ur-Stupid. It doesn’t even burn, it just sits there; and its unaffected just-sitting-there-ness makes you want to set yourself on fire. Chilling shit.
I’m surprised Charles Johnson is not more upset about issues closer to home. Like say dudes who look like fat chicks appearing on CNN. Oh, wait.
I am both aghast and delighted that Charles Johnson does, in deed, look like a 49 year old Mennonite woman.
Or a two bit karaoke host.
Give Chuckles Teh Sammy!!!!!!!!
If you’re amused by “Golem Akbar,” you might want to look @ Sultan Knish. Or you might not.
I live in Amsterdam and this is the first I’ve heard of this. Of course, like many people living in Amsterdam, I don’t speak Dutch so I haven’t been reading the paper but I would assume that someone at work would have mentioned the riot gripping the city.
Many people don’t realize that Charles Johnson was a member of Monty Python’s cast.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4607458786314511837&q=%22Monty+Python%22&total=9929&start=20&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=6
Wait, that’s what Charles Johnson looks like? I’d always pictured a broad-shouldered man in his 30s with a flattop and two chins.
And a face mullet.
FSMdamn it to heck: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21455714/
Oklahoma lawmakers object to donated Qurans
Gifts returned to diversity panel; lawmaker says book condones killing
Are they going to return al their Bibles too? Or do Oklahomans condone foreskin offerings, incest, mass slaughter (“slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass”), washing their feet in the blood of the wicked, and decapitation of nonbelievers (“And Israel joined himself unto Baalpeor: and the anger of the LORD was kindled against Israel. And the LORD said unto Moses, ‘Take all the heads of the people and hang them up before the LORD against the sun, that the fierce anger of the LORD may be turned away from Israel”) ?
Why is Ozzy Osbourne on CNN?
And why is he using a pseudonym?
And to think, Holland was once the pinnacle of freedom-
He’s talking about the mushroom ban right?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,,2190158,00.html
And to think, Holland was once the pinnacle of freedom for the whole world to see. It has sunk into a hellhole ripe for Islamofascist takeover.
HELL HOLE!!!
I’m living in a…
HELL HOLE!!!
OK, that’s all I got.
He looks like the type of guy who thinks that subscribing to “Soldier of Fortune” and owning a ham radio makes him one of the few prepared for the coming horde of [insert latest imagined menace]. Growing up in Indy, I saw these guys whenever I rode my bike through my neighbors’ yards. They were the ones chasing after me screaming about private property rights, like I was a pre-teen ATF agent.
I asked him about the ongoing car-b-ques
I’m sorry but I just can’t get past the amazing supidity of this “car-b-ques” thing. Is this a common wingnut expression or is this moron being creative in a room-temp IQ kind of way?
stupidity not supidity
My t key is sticking. I’m sure this is due to the laughter-induced coffee/wine/beer/lemonade spittings of the past year. Many people at Sadly have contributed but I blame Doc Bimler, mikey, and Righteous Bubba in particular . . .
Doc Bimler’s been on a roll lately and my keyboard is suffering too.
Broach another cask of pedantry Doc! Bumpers for all our friends.
Goodbye, Western fucking Civilization.
In Amsterdam? Unlikely.
Well, they have Western fucking Civilization there, but you have to pay for it.
Why does Charlie Johnston look like a frumpy middle aged woman?
I guess all that fear has femenized him.
To me he looks like Jim Lehrer’s hippie brother.
Or, to use an old standby, Don Henley.
Dear commie athiest-
Wait a second. Did Chuckles the clown go on CNN in a T-shirt?
I’m as informal as the next guy, but Jeebus Cripes! You’d think you might want to at least wash the Cheetos stains off of your hands before appearing on national TV.
I wonder if he has any pants on?
I’m sure he’s wearing slippers.
[Looks up from copy of “Satan was a Lesbian”]
What, what, where?
Can’t they put Charles Johnson in a burka? He really looks like the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen.
The *Ajax football supporters* are a bigger problem. They had a big riot a couple of nights ago for god knows what reason. The news gave that a lot of coverage.
Ajax ‘fans’ dont need a reason for a riot, they are a bunch of morons without equal in the country. I do like Amsterdam as a city, but Ajax and their so called supporters are, without exception, wankers.
Actually 47% of the Dutch say they are scared of having to live under muslim law and almost 2/3 of the dutch say that Islam is incompatible with European life, so unfortunately, even if they don’t care what Chuckie Johnson says, a lot of people in the Netherlands appear to think a lot like him.
Made up poll.
Strange, the third lead in the Dutch equivalent of the Wall Street Journal is a story that the figures all the “waa! muslims!” stories were based on are wrong, and there are 150,000 fewer Islamosexuals striking a spark to the foundations of civilisation that will some day trammel its previously untroubled waters to a degree that no amount of oil will damp down than previously thought.
That’s not thinking like the Lizard King, that’s thinking. Sorry, the Qur’an and a lot of things that a lefty like me likes to have in society are incompatible.
Sure, and I’m probably not down with a lot that’s in the Qur’an either. But as far as I am concerned, that’s because it’s a religion.
In the New Testament, Jesus Christ says that for a man and a woman to divorce is against God. So, according to a literal reading of the Bible, most of my family is going to Hell.
I think you can find non-literal Muslims, just as you can find non-literal Christians, who are willing to adjust just a tad to their society.
Religion? Feh.