Yeah, well I’d hit… uh, never mind…

If only the liberal far left leftard lefties hadn’t opposed the Bush No Brush Left Behind initiative. You know, the one where all the brush and scrub are bulldozed into the ocean leaving only non-flammable dirt for the people to enjoy.

She looks wistful, as if imagining she was an white man or Peggy Noonan. Or perhaps daydreaming of a naked Geraldo on horseback, moustache swaying in the breeze.

Shorter Stalkin’ Malkin? She’s already what, 5 feet nothing? A vicious, right wing pygmy. But even if she were the height of an NBA player, she’d still be a spiteful, morally stunted, very small person.

Shorter Michelle Malkin

She’s taking this whole shrinking crisis well.

Beaten to a short joke. Better than being beaten for a short joke I suppose, as bruised shins are nasty.

Ehh, daylight does not really flatter Stalkin’ Malkin.

Don’t worry, one of her commenters has a plan.

I suggest that everyone who has lost their home due to these fires, sue the Sierra Club et al, tort, joint and several liability.

And after the first time, get their donor lists and sue them too. After the first suit, the donors should have known if their organizations were creating a fire hazard, and thus share liability.

The way I understand it, logging is really difficult with all those houses in the way.

Photons from any source don’t do much for her, without TV makeup. And then you never know when she’s going to make one of those bugeyed batshit crazy faces that reveal what’s really going on in her head.

I made the mistake of going over to her site again. I always hope to see something… human, but no. It’s all screeching, all the time. No jokes, no posts about music, or art (unless there’s an artist or musician producing insufficiently patriotic product). It’s depressing.

On October 23rd, 2007 at 12:49 pm, John Ansell said:
AJ, I have know doubt who’s doing the looting.

(emphasis added)

You can’t make this stuff up.

Are you sure that’s shorter?

“I suggest that everyone who has lost their home due to these fires, sue the Sierra Club et al, tort, joint and several liability.”

I always wonder how these people can discuss matters about which they have absolutely no understanding without feeling at least a little embarassed or silly. I mean, that statement doesn’t even have any meaning!

Are you sure that’s shorter?

Well, sometimes the Shorter concept is more notional than other times. Hm.

Shorter Michelle Malkin:

• I found some deranged moonbats who sort of blame Bush for the California wildfires — which are actually the fault of deranged moonbats opposing Bush.

See, it lacks a certain frenetic, all-over-the-place quality.

“I always wonder how these people can discuss matters about which they have absolutely no understanding ”

They’re encouraged by Malkin’s example. She calls herself a journalist, but didn’t go to journalism school. She wrote a book defending internment, and the fact that she didn’t know what she was talking about didn’t stop her. As we have seen so many times, ignorance and falsehood are no impediment to success in the rightwing blogosphere.

common legalize, that guy heard “tort, joint and several liability” on some lawyer show on tv and wants to show he is as hip as the next dude. And he’s got that et al. in there too — snap, he’s no fool.

The way I understand it, logging is really difficult with all those houses in the way.

It’s even more difficult when much of the fires are burning in chaparral, which is notoriously short on trees of any substantial size. (There are scrub oaks, but those are really more along the lines of shrubs…and anyway the scientific name for the family is FAGaceae, which, well, you know.)

I do think that some more brush clearing would’ve been useful, especially given the weather patterns over the last few years. Come to think of it, we should’ve sent the President. He likes clearing brush.

She calls herself a journalist, but didn’t go to journalism school.

Hey! I resemble that remark!

Actually, most of the journalists I’ve worked with and respect didn’t go to J-school, either. Which isn’t to say that not going to J-school makes you a good journalist, or anything. To wit: Malkin.

Why isn’t she blaming the fires on illegal immigrants? That way, everybody wins!

I caused the fires cuz I’m teh evil cheetah …

Evil Bill and Tom caused teh fye-izz.

Those fye-izz killin’ more dogs than I ever did. Do I get my signing bonus back ?

(There are scrub oaks, but those are really more along the lines of shrubs…and anyway the scientific name for the family is FAGaceae, which, well, you know.)

Not much you can do, really. They were flaming already.

Now just imagine a bundle of scrub oak sticks…

Oh now this is just gonna make her get all squinty faced and shouty.

Added a link — thanks!!

Stalkin Malkin should achieve full unhinged-ness by the end of business today.

Now just imagine a bundle of scrub oak sticks…
i forget the word for that, is it ‘faggot’ or ‘fascist’?

the urban folklore i’ve heard for why that first F-word is used to describe persons of a certain persuasion is because of the fuel that was used to burn them at the stake…..i can neither confirm nor deny this rumor.

sorry for the gallows humor and amateur etymology, but all this is giving me flashbacks of the oakland fire…………..

Now just imagine a bundle of scrub oak sticks…
i forget the word for that, is it ‘faggot’ or ‘fascist’?

It all depends on where you left the axe after chopping the sticks.

If you put it away, the bundle’s a faggot. If you left the axe in the pile and tied it up with the sticks, it’s a fasces (same root as “fascist”), apparently a Roman symbol of authority–it’s the thing on the back of the old “Mercury” dimes, the kind ironically in circulation back when we were fighting fascists.

And after the first time, get their donor lists and sue them too. After the first suit, the donors should have known if their organizations were creating a fire hazard, and thus share liability.

But I joined just to get the free backpack!

She does have a point. If we cut down all of the trees, there wouldn’t be any more fires!

And by trees, of course, I mean anything made of wood or other flammable materials, including houses (but not Michelle’s house).

the urban folklore i’ve heard for why that first F-word is used to describe persons of a certain persuasion is because of the fuel that was used to burn them at the stake…..i can neither confirm nor deny this rumor.

I can deny it. (Or rather, the Online Etymology Dictionary can)

“male homosexual,” 1914, Amer.Eng. slang (shortened form fag is from 1921), probably from earlier contemptuous term for “woman” (1591), especially an old and unpleasant one, in reference to faggot (1) “bundle of sticks,” as something awkward that has to be carried (cf. baggage). It was used in this sense in 20c. by D.H. Lawrence and James Joyce, among others. It may also be reinforced by Yiddish faygele “homosexual,” lit. “little bird.” It also may have roots in Brit. public school slang fag “a junior who does certain duties for a senior” (1785), with suggestions of “catamite,” from fag (v.). This was also used as a verb.
“He [the prefect] used to fag me to blow the chapel organ for him.” [“Boy’s Own Paper,” 1889]
Other obsolete senses of faggot were “man hired into military service simply to fill out the ranks at muster” (1700) and “vote manufactured for party purposes” (1817). The oft-heard statement that male homosexuals were called faggots in reference to their being burned at the stake is an etymological urban legend. Burning was sometimes a punishment meted out to homosexuals in Christian Europe (on the suggestion of the Biblical fate of Sodom and Gomorah), but in England, where parliament had made homosexuality a capital offense in 1533, hanging was the method prescribed. Any use of faggot in connection with public executions had long become an English historical obscurity by the time the word began to be used for “male homosexual” in 20th century American slang, whereas the contemptuous slang word for “woman” (and the other possible sources or influences listed here) was in active use.

Man, that’s not a flattering picture a’tall. She looks like she’s hitting the local Denny’s after a long night to get some good in her in hopes she can get herself sober enough to go into work. Seeing that hard morning sun, like God’s flashlight, and realizing that your Grand Slam Breakfast is the best your day’s gonna get.

I been there.

Michelle is onto something. Get rid of the trees = no fires. And no breathing of air, but you know….

The article she links to talks about how the forest service needed to clear brush but couldn’t due to environmentalist interference, but the kicker is when the Forest Service busts this out as the critical reasoning as to why it has to be done:

“The link between climate change and wildfires is easily apparent on a global and national scale.”

In other words, Malkin is complaining because liberals wouldn’t let the government deal with the effects of global warming.

Pity these ignorant mouth-breathers have no idea what the term chapparal means. Jeebus…let’s let the Forest Service thin where thinning is appropriate (coming from somebody with 3 friggin’ degrees in Forestry/Ecology) and stop building where it’s not appropriate.

My heart goes out to all the people affected by these fires, but get some &^$%# perspective and quit spouting off on topics for which you have no ^%#*@ clue.

It’s the historical suppression of fire that makes the fires so bad…too much fuel build-up. Do these assholes think that timber companies will bid on contracts to remove coarse woody debris to lighten the fuel loads? Oh yeah…unregulated harvesting is the answer! I forgot.

Always cracks me up listening to the wingnuts act like they know anything about ecology.

Jeebus

Shorter Malkin: “global warming is making brush dry, but global warming isn’t real, but if it were, its obviously the liberals who are preventing us from dealing with it so we should chop down healthy trees, even though the clearing of dry brush won’t do any good anyway according to the article I just referenced about global warming, and cutting down healthy trees has nothing to do with clearing dry brush except that somehow it proves that liberals are evil. or something.”

Gavin, you’re right. You can’t make it shorter. Her reasoning has no sense of logic to it and is so all over the place that you can’t sum it up. She compares apples to oranges then tries to sell you a banana in an attempt to prove that pears are the best.

MCH: Not just the mercury dime. Check the Wikipedia entry for “fasces.” The things are still all over the Senate & House. Not to mention the fascists.

She should be hit. W/ a bundle of sticks.

She compares apples to oranges then tries to sell you a banana in an attempt to prove that pears are the best.

That just rules the world. Rock on.

I fabricated a faggot of Fagaceae into a fasces for fascist-fighting.

Some idiot on LA Times’ fire blog proclaimed that the reason the evacuee situation at Qualcomm was so much nicer in comparison to the situation at the Superdome during Katrina is because the evacuees aren’t black.

Of course, he overlooked the fact that Qualcomm has electricity, running water, food and water supplies, and airconditioning. And the fact that vendors and purveyors of supplies are able to deliver to the facility.

And I, too am upset that the tree-huggers caused the wildfires. If only we were able to log the vast redwood forests of Malibu, none of this would have happened.

The real problem is she’s confusing federal with county land. The Healthy Forest Intiative was meant to “thin” Forest Service land. Pretty much all of the fires–at least this time around–started on SAN county land. It would have been impossible for her BFF Bush to have spared SoCal from these fires.

The important thing is that we find someone to blame.

The non-partisan government auditors are already pointing fingers at Bush:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/10/24/govt-auditors-warned-bus_n_69702.html

Not just the mercury dime. Check the Wikipedia entry for “fasces.” The things are still all over the Senate & House. Not to mention the fascists.

No, no. I think you mean feces.

From Lowell Ponte’s “California Fires Raise Many Questions” (NewsMax, 10/24/07):

As the embers cool, investigators in public and private will begin asking some hard questions, including how in blazes these fires happened: Were some of the purportedly wild fires scorching more than 600 square miles of Southern California this week set by border-crossing Islamist terrorists?

[…]

Although a new Osama bin Laden video was issued at almost exactly the same time these fires began, and might have contained a coded command to his operatives to carry out planned arsons, it makes sense that al-Qaida has claimed no credit for the fires.

[…]

Or, perhaps, one or more of these fires were ignited accidentally by an illegal alien’s campfire, as has happened before in Southern California. Even if evidence points this way, do not expect the liberal media to report anything this politically incorrect — or this likely to give inconvenient fuel to critics of our liberal border policies.

The Sierra Club not long ago nearly had a schism over the huge ecological damage done by illegal aliens but voted that its deepest loyalty was not to the environment, but to the power illegal aliens could give to the Democratic Party.

[…]

TV and radio talk-host Glenn Beck deserves credit for having Competitive Enterprise Institute experts Chris Horner and R.J. Smith explain how radical government environmental policies under President Bill Clinton interfered with rational forest and brush management, and set America up for today’s catastrophic super-fires.

[…]

Now we have become fire-burned experimental animals for left-wing firebrands.

He’s just slinging thinking out loud, of course.

And then the Jews Islamofascists poisoned the wells!

Duros62 said,

October 24, 2007 at 22:16

Not just the mercury dime. Check the Wikipedia entry for “fasces.” The things are still all over the Senate & House. Not to mention the fascists.

No, no. I think you mean feces.

I actually typoed it as “fesces,” but decided not to go w/ the joke.

decided not to go w/ the joke.

!!!!!!!

I guess if I shout at the kids to get off my grass, that will make me a Fescist.

Blimey! These Carbon Sinks are trickier than I thought!

She looks rather fine in that photograph.

A little like Nelson Mandela in a frightwig.