Being Michelle Malkin
Aha. Here’s a lesson in how to get away with things. In true contemporary-Republican fashion, Malkin has learned that, facts be damned, one must always stay on the attack — ideally against a phony, made-up conspiracy of enemies that, perforce, can’t generate any real pushback:
And here’s what she said earlier:
Update 3:20pm Eastern. See my new post on Pete StarkRavingMad. These people can’t contain themselves. And let’s stop the delusion that the Starks are the fringe. They are the center of the nutroots-i-fied Democrat Party.
And it just goes on and on, down the series of links and throughout other topics, and in her most recent book, and so forth.
Well fine, we’ll do that too. Here’s Brad’s post from yesterday translated into Malkinese:
ZOMG! The GOP Is Unsurprisingly Maddened With Demented Hatred
For those who simply can’t believe their eyes, Rep. King has created a thoroughly unremarkable chart to advance a sickening new low in Republican partisan insanity, suggesting that S-CHIP may as well stand for “SH*TTING ON CHILDREN HOWEVER I PLEASE.” Is this how boldly the right-blogs are now attempting to whitewash their plan to, as it were, so-called “sh*t” on children? (Pardon our language.) This jaw-dropping murder rampage comes as a surprise to no one.
(Hel-lo, “Representative” King: The chart actually says “Socialized, Clinton-Style Hillarycare,” as if you could read, which excuse me, apparently you can’t. Hmmm? Waiting for a response. Wai-ting.)
(Doop-de-doop, waiting.)
Update: King has responded:
Hey, hold on just a second here. I never said that the…
We refuse to dignify his insane, hate-drenched attacks with a reply.
As we have shown previously, Rep. King represents the absolute reasonable center of Republican politics, and his shockingly deranged right-blog-fueled actions are in no way out of the mainstream. With this unspeakable, quotidian act, he merely expresses the screaming craziness of the howling far-right Nazi Stalin Republican Internet death brigades, who are daily plotting to attack infants and you and myself, and are backed by far crazier, screaminger Nazis exactly like themselves in every detail, only different.
America and the world can no longer afford ineffectual wimps, like Rep. Peter King, who weakly impede fair debate with their feeble and pathetic whinings. These ivory-tower right-blog elites are dirty bums who live off the public food-stamp teat, and their constant, champagne-drenched shrieking for human blood is exceeded only by the eternally pacifistic quietude of their treasonous tri-state killing sprees. They are the bellowing subhuman enemies of all humanity, and civility is the first casualty of their tedious and unmemorable mumblings, which we can only ignore.
Wacky loonies may disingenuously accuse us of asking: Can their lazy, croquet-playing Brownshirt terror-tactics at last be crushed by a pitiless tide of fists, boots, and deniable instances of arson? How long until our patience is exhausted?
Update: [chom-chom-chom burp] Eatin’ a child.
Update: OMG, can you believe how they’re against children? Their sick attacks on us are flagrantly libelous.
Update: Ha ha, let’s attack babies.
Update: SCREECH! Pathetically, many desperate and sad liars are dementedly accusing us of attacking babies.
Update: [chom-chom-burp] Mmm, tasty child.
Update: AIEEE! Other people are transgressing social norms!
PS: The man can’t bust our music.
Kennedy would’ve written a book about this called Profiles in Shamelessness.
And if you had thrown in stuff about commies and hippes, you would’ve sounded almost exactly like Ed Anger.
Reading Malkin is like playing with a Mad Libs book.
It is as if she just takes sensible statements and replaces the nouns to serve her needs and then expects it to still make sense.
Also, re: far left = Democratic party center…I wish! Oh, how I wish that was even close to being true.
I don’t think it’s so much about staying on the attack as it is about and trying to convince representatives that DKos (which I don’t read) like-minded movements are too radioactive to touch. That way, no “sensible” politician will cooperate with liberal constituents and the conservative agenda enjoys an easier time getting their agendas passed.
Let’s not forget the real victims here; the poor Malkin fans charged with DNS attacks that no longer succeed.
They should sue S,N! for restraint of trade.
MM, I see your “Pete StarkRavingMad” and raise you one Michelle MalAdjustedBratkin.
Also, why is “echo” the only word that echoes in her extremely hilarious lede? Shouldn’t all those words be repeated three times?
Snort.
so if the ultra-extreme-maoist-stalinist-nazi-mandatory-abortions-kill-all-the-christians-animals-before-people-destroy-civilization wing is the “center”, what is the Democratic “fringe”?
Also, re: far left = Democratic party center…I wish! Oh, how I wish that was even close to being true.
Yes. I hate to note that Malkin has half a point about providing health care to children and stopping bloody criminal clusterfucks. Those things do qualify one as “far left” on the modern American political spectrum. (Political redshift, Overton doing the Doppler, what have you…)
Hmph. Not even you guys can persuade me to read Malkin on a rainy Friday afternoon.
No, I’ve got about 3 more hours of writing and data analysis left, and then I’m going to head home, drink some wine, eat some Italian food, and cuddle with the wife and the cats. Weatherman says there might be thunderstorms, which would be fun.
And if by some odd twist of fate, I have a sudden craving for intelligent political analysis during the night, I’ll look somewhere else. I don’t actually know where, come to think of it–it seems to be in short supply these days–but I certainly won’t find it at that creature’s site.
If Pete Stark is “far left,” then Malkin is further right to William F. Buckley as Josef Stalin is further left to Ted Kennedy.
What the fuck is a “nutroot”? That’s the stupidest word I’ve ever seen.
It’s what Malkin can suck.
“Nutroot” all purpose slur preffered by the Right…when they have LGF,the true heart and sould of the nutroots
At what point do these professional trolls implode ?
I realized (sadly) the other day I know a lot of the names of these idiots (Malkin, Goldberg, Horowitz, a$$rocket, box turtle, dozens more) and the devil (Luntz) but I don’t know the all the names of my state representatives and what they are currently voting for/against. (I emailed/posted a question and comment to one about H1B visas in the past.)
Will ignoring these negative attention whore / energy vampires make them go away ?
Ugh, let me rephrase: I don’t think it’s so much about staying on the attack as it is about and trying to convince representatives that DKos (which I don’t read) and like-minded movements are too radioactive to touch. That way, no “sensible” politician will cooperate with liberal constituents and the conservative agenda enjoys an easier time getting passed.
Bad news for the Epileptic Cheerleader-
1.) Calls to Pete Stark’s office: 9 to 1 in favor of his floor speech.
2.) Stark on Bay Area CBS Radio: Not backing down. Tells Bohner to STFU.
More like this, please.
I think Stalkin’ Malkin has turned a corner here. She is finally realizing what she consider ‘fringe’ is actually mainstream. I think she’s making real progress.
I wanna ask you one question
If I had some nuts, hangin on the walls, what did I have honey?”
I said, “Darling you’d have some walnuts.”
She said, “Well.. daddy if I had some nuts
on my chest, would those be chestnuts?”
I said, “Hell yes!”
She said, “Well daddy if I had nuts under my chin
would those be chin-nuts?”
I said, “Hell no b^tch you’d have a d*ck in your mouth!
Erm. Satirizing Malkin by imitating her style by re-working a S, N! post that was written to satirize a GOP rep who holds the same position as Malkin …
*Walks away, holding head*
It’s like the nutroot version of a reverse double stalkin.
“Will ignoring these negative attention whore / energy vampires make them go away ?”
Hoo, boy, that’s the question now, isn’t it?
It’s like when my old man almost died back in 1963. After he pulled through the worst of it, he had a conversation with his doctor:
Doc (puffing on unlit pipe): You know, Mr. S, you’re going to have to stop smoking those Pall Malls.
Dad: Shit. How about cigars, or a pipe?
Doc: A pipe is fine. And no alcohol.
Dad: No beer? No whiskey? Shit.
Doc: Sorry, but you’re lucky that your kidneys came back at all.
Dad: I suppose you’re gonna tell me to keep my hands off my wife, too.
Doc: That’s a pretty good idea for now.
Dad: OK, well, if I do these things, will I live longer.
Doc: Not really, no. But it’ll seem longer.
Will ignoring these negative attention whore / energy vampires make them go away ?
Let’s stick with the tried and true method. Reveal them in daylight and drive a stake through their heart.
American troops killing innocent people in Iraq? Impossible! If they were so innocent, why’d they jump in front of our bombs and guns, huh? Rebut that, nutroots! Heh. More Surge, please. These innocent Iraqis aren’t going to kill and rape themselves. Unless the nutroots force us to withdraw, in which case all said rapes and killings are the fault of the nutroots. Heh, indeedy.
I love how in the Post piece she accuses Democrats of forcing smokers to keep smoking. What hallucinogens are they feeding this woman?
Isn’t it difficult to tell what posts are hers and what are her husbands? or the blurring between these two is not relevent.
He had some anger management issues in the past?
http://www.liberalavenger.com/jesse-malkin-allegedly-savagely-beats-student-photographer/
These two hooked up before they invented Hannidate.
“When I saw him put the boot to the hippy traitor’s throat I knew I found my true love.”
“Fortunately for us, 13 year old girls rarely sue.”
hee. teh Sadly No translater is make glorious post.
Malkin Malkin, Malkin Malkin Malkin Malkin Malkin? Malkin Malkin Malkin. Malkin…MALKIN!
Erm. Satirizing Malkin by imitating her style by re-working a S, N! post that was written to satirize a GOP rep who holds the same position as Malkin …
*Walks away, holding head*
Further fun: when a right-wing hate site mistakes the satire for the real thing.
Man, Malkin’s pretty hot when she shuts her mouth. Literally. I saw the picture from the J- link and said, “Who’s that saucy little dish?”.
Then I realized it was Captain Underpants herself. She really should keep her mouth shut. Makes her far less Bat-Boyish.
But then I think I’m the chief Lookist around here, so would you expect any less?
What started as the ‘netroots’ (internet grass roots) became morphed into ‘nutroots’ to describe what Our Lady of The Concentration Camp sees as the left, also known as ‘libtards’. Usually used in the context of “see what unhinged haters the libtard nutroots are” when she’s complaining that someone has called her names. You can also substitute “moonbat”, “leftwit” and “blabber-mouth”. All, of course, without the slightest sense of irony or shame.
And don’t forget “dhimmies”
Alos don’t forget Little Annie Angel’s “nutbars.”
Oddly, Mark Steyn actually makes a left talking point by asking cryptically, “So executive vice presidents are now the new poor?”
Yup, Mark. They are! Thanks for noticing that even “executives” cannot afford to provide decent health care for their families, things have gotten so dire. And that merely underscores how horrible they are for everyone else.
That’s the controversy? A Democratic congressman supports healthcare and peace? Tell me he also got caught in two wetsuits and a dildo or something. It can’t be just that.
Oh yes it can be just that; this is a dhimmiecrat we’re talking about here, not some saintly republican up-holder of all that is decent and holy, including helping police officer’s pick up that stray piece of toilet paper. Only a saintly republican would see the potential horror that having a piece of toilet paper stuck to one’s shoe would cause and then try to help that nice undercover (and teh hot!) cop pick it up. See? They do too have some empathy!
Just had a flash: the match made in Hell, Christopher Hitchens and Michelle Malkin. A docudrama based on the 911 calls alone would be worth a fortune.
“We’ve got to provide healthcare to children – and we’ve got to end this war!”
Jesus christ, what a monster.