*clicks the link*

AHHH!

Dude. I’m stoned, don’t do that. That scared the hell out of me.

Lucky!

Where the HELL did he get that picture of my ex wife?

mikey

Gee. One expected Bush’s memoirs AFTER he left office.

I’m going back to being dead now.

Look! A series of totally humorous and TOTALLY WACKY random things!

Dracula + Funnel Cake?!

LOLRANDOM!!!!111!!!

To quote Sean Penn:

“I don’t know why I am thought to have no sense of humor when I don’t laugh at things that just aren’t funny.”

1 funnel cake HAHAHA

2 pounds of batter HAHAHA

3 quarts of boiling oil HAHAHA

4 miles of hardened arteries HAHAHA

5 years off your life HAHAHAHHAHA

It’s worth a look just for the word “seducation”. I’ll never forget mine!

…how Kevin Dillon shows us that you can look like a good-looking person without being good-looking yourself.

I’ve been wondering that myself for quite a while now.

It’s not just “seducation,” but “evil seducation of funnel cake…” I can imagine seducation of waffle cones, but funnel cake makes me mad as a hatter!

Are there zombies? The last book I bought was about vampires, and the zombies are sulking. Of course, the second-to-last book I bought was about Bigfeet, and the zombies didn’t like that much either.

DAng it. I thought you were announcing Fafblog had risen again, what a letdown when I clicked on the link…

I’m confused. Is the funnel cake being seduced or doing the seducing?

Um, can vampires suck Bigfoot’s blood?

For that matter, can zombies eat Bigfoot brains?

mikey

Look. I may swing at balls that are up around the scoreboard operator’s neck, but what’s it gonna take to prove to you haters that I AM NOT, nor have I EVER been a vampire?!

Shout out to my man Chris Dodd for putting a hold on the heinous FISA bill.

You know, Dodd is fast becoming my favorite candidate on the D side. He’s not going to win, but at least he’ll act like a real Democrat and at least he’ll stand up for what he believes in.

Barack Obama can blow me.

Be nice. That sounds like a fun read, and it’s non-fiction, so the random-things are actually connected. Brotha’s trying to get some publicity for his book and he sends it to Sadly, No? You guys should be giving him credit for sending it to where you’re cool enough to hang out. Where’s your soul at, man? Why wouldn’t you tell the brother how to get to Brooklyn?

you can look like a good-looking person without being good-looking yourself

Hehe )

Hey, I’d settle for that.

Barack Obama can blow me.

I’m calling dibs on Thompson’s wife then.

thompson’s wife has a cock???

When my book was in galleys, I was gonna send it to S,N to review. Think maybe I’ll send it to Arianna now instead…

mikey

I’m going to send MY book (“Praise White Republican Jesus, and Exterminate the Brown People™) to FAUX Hammer.

Way to blow your chance to get on the gravy train, S,N!

I would totally read that book.

The vampire book, I mean. Not so sure about ITTDGY’s literary, erm, contribution . . .

I’ve enjoyed Christopher Moore’s conception of vampires, and I downright loved Ann Rice’s. Family of Man, indeed.

But I need some more positive reviews to go in and read this one.

Anyone ever hear of “Dracula”? That was pretty good.

I am Foehammer !!! Foehammer !!! is Me!
Thou TransylRepublicanian riffraff hast pledged their troth to Vlad Dra-cool. Kevin Dillon was never so gay as in that bad movie with Ray Liotta…you know, where they’re in the jungle prison with Lance Henriksen. However, he was a match for Shawnee Smith (before her nice implants!) in the remake of “The Blob”. She would be an excellent “Draquelle”. Back to mine pretentious pontificating thereupon. Why exterminate illegal immigrants when you “can drive them before you and hear the lamentations of their women”. From “Red Sonja”. If only mine Anvil Of Truthnacity could dredge up a reference to “Conan, etc.” that I could tie to Goldberg…Arnold looks manly in a herculean breechcloth, Jonah,…not so much.

Anyone ever hear of “Dracula”? That was pretty good.

What’s it about?

mikey:

What I want to know is, what happens if a zombie and a vampire get in a fight to the death and the zombie gets a chomp in after nearly being drained dry by the vampire?

Does the zombie become a vampire, the vampire a zombie, or both?

Does the zombie become a vampire, the vampire a zombie, or both?

Worse – they both become zompires.

Barack Obama can blow me.

thompson’s wife has a cock???

You know, the whole line about needing to have a cock to know how to properly suck a cock is just something that the more daring among us homos try to pull on innocent straight boys. It has never fooled anyone, not in the entire history of faggotry; unless, that is, you substitute “desperate enough to believe anything” for “innocent” and/or “future Republican” for “straight boy”

And yes, Mrs. Thompson has a cock.

Worse – they both become zompires.

When they turn into bats they’re too slow to fly, so that’s a drawback.

Zombies (dead people eating living peoples’ brains), vampires (dead people eating living peoples’ blood), cannibals (living people eating dead people), ghouls (living people eating living people), and frankensteins (dead people consuming dead people). I think we’ve covered all the bases. Now you want to add “zompires”. They may be destroyed by driving a flaming wooden stake through their brains while they shuffle bat-wise, avoiding garlic-flavored electrical arcs.

Worse – they both become zompires.

Is that what those are? I thought that was just the copy editors trying to shorten “zoologist/umpire” Well, in any case I guess humans lose.

I thought that was just the copy editors trying to shorten “zoologist/umpire”…

You’re thinking of zoompires.

shane’s dentist’s attorney’s bookie: LOL!

You’re thinking of zoompires.

Anything that’ll get rid of the fucking Zamfirs I’m in favour of.

We need zoompires here – there’s a huge infestation of Zamfirs here in Salt Lake City, and no natural predators.

It’s a panpipedemic.

“Why exterminate illegal immigrants when you “can drive them before you and hear the lamentations of their women”. From “Red Sonja”.”

Red Sonja? Oh, come on! That’s from Conan The Barbarian. You call yourself a geek?

Johnny C: oooooh. I knew that too – guess now I have to claim the total geek mantle once and for all after being in denial for all these years!

It’s from Genghis Khan, actually. If you’re going to steal, steal from the best.

What, no goats?

“Zompire”? I thought they were called “vontages”, and tend to shit on lawns.

I’ll read your book, Mikey. As soon as I learn to read, that is.

D. Sidhe, zombies ALWAYS sulk.

This is one of my favorite threads ever. Makes me wish our power hadn’t gone out so I could have enjoyed in it real time.

Billy, I’d noticed that. I think it’s because I keep poking them with a wooden spoon and then ignoring them when it passes through them. Hey, if you’re not gonna be real, why pout when I ignore you?

Good news, everyone! The freeloading housemate is moving out next weekend! She cites my hallucinated zombies as part of her decision. Apparently she doesn’t really want to be notified when they’re shambling down the hallway to her room.

You know, I love the S,N website but I just read an excerpt of that book and all I can say is eff you to the author. You don’t like Romania? Fine, get the hell out, which is apparently what they did. I’ve lived here for years and it gets a little tiresome the meme that it’s A) got anything to do with Dracula and B) it’s such a “horrible” place. Oh goodness gracious, there’s a guy in the airport with a submachine gun! Wow I guess I’ve never flown out of an American airport before. Golly gee! So scary. I guess the author wet his pants because the airport is the ONLY place you’ll see anyone with a submachine gun. Oh and wow prostitutes! Imagine there’s prostitutes in Romania! Gosh they sure don’t exist in America, that’s for sure. Well at least one thing good will come out of this book – even fewer Dracula-phile idiots will come here I hope.

Peace

Submachine guns and prostitutes? You can find ’em both on the same block in some American neighborhoods.

Prostitutes with submachine guns? I think that was Sin City.

I’m just wondering if vampires, or perhaps zompires, or even vambies would be more effective in securing the peace in Iraq than pumas and/or bears.

Zompumas and vambears.

Or zombears and vampumas.

Either way, I think we may’ve hit the peace-keeping superfecta.

I vote for zombears and vampumas.

You fool! Now you’re gonna get flooded by mail from authors wanting free publicity! If you give the Loch Ness Monster a dollar he’s gonna think you have more!