We Have Always Been At War With Eastasia

Over at Butt Propulsion Laboratories, Paul Mirengoff schools us all on the War on Terror. Unfortunately, it turns out the school is an unaccredited land-grant clown college.

Peter Bergen at the New Republic has declared Osama bin Laden the victor over President Bush. The claim is absurd on its face.

I agree with that, if only because I think it’s an absurd construction more suited to internet death-matches than it is for serious political analysis. There can no more be a clear victor in the the duel between the ideologies of these two men than there can be a marked victory in the war against terrorism. So, let’s get down to cases, shall we? Mirengoff:

Al Qaeda has failed to attack our homeland since 9/11

True enough. But then, if all we’d done to stop Japan after Pearl Harbor was keep them from attacking America again, that wouldn’t be much of a victory. And if, say, the Imperial Armed Forces were estimated to be stronger in 1947 than they had been in 1941, we might very well say that Hirohito was the victor over President Roosevelt. But, of course, the War on Terror is nothing like WWII.

and has had little success in attacking our interests anywhere else in the world, a rather big place.

Well, I guess that kinda depends on how you define ‘our interests’.

Nor has al Qaeda succeeded in toppling or seriously threatening any regime in the Middle East. To the contrary, American policy has deprived AQ of its host government in Afghanistan

Some people dispute exactly how weak the Taliban and al-Q’aeda are in Afghanistan, but what would a bunch of Indians know about the political situation in central Asia? Everyone knows we won the war, so there are clearly no more al-Q’aeda terrorists in Afghanistan.

Probably because they’re all in Pakistan.

and has toppled a friendly regime and potential collaborator in Iraq.

So, we only sort of defeated them in Afghanistan, and we opened up whole new havens for them in Pakistan, Iran and Syria, but hey! We defeated a government that had nothing to do with them before they were able to potentially collaborate! Shit, let’s go invade San Marino. They’re a potential collaborator too! Potential collaborators everywhere!

Indeed, as Peter Wehner points out, Bergen’s argument seems particularly ill-informed in light of recent developments in Iraq. Wehner juxtaposes Bergen’s assertions with this report in yesterday’s Washington Post regarding the devastating and possibly irreversible defeat AQI has suffered.

So, to recap: we know that we’ve won the war against al-Q’aeda because we have almost managed to defeat them in a country they weren’t even in before we invaded it. Now that’s what I call MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!


Comments: 17


this report in yesterday’s Washington Post regarding the devastating and possibly irreversible defeat AQI has suffered

AQI (Al-Qaeda in Iraq) is NOT al-Qaeda who attacked us on 9/11! Not not not! Sheesh!

Bin Laden has won over Bush, because bin Laden wanted to make Bush do certain things and he has done them.

And Fox Network, why isn’t “House” on this week?


“the devastating and possibly irreversible defeat AQI has suffered”

I’m pretty sure I’ve heard that one before. Didn’t they say that after Saddam got captured, after the elections were held, and after after Al-Quedas leader in Iraq got killed? I’m sure there’s probably others to.

And yes, any halfway intelligent person can see that Bin Laden is winning against Bush. Unfortunately these are Neo-Cons.


What about this report (from more credible sources) in yesterday’s Washington Post?

Paul Mirengoof sounds like just another one of those surge is workin’ d00ds. In his pants.


We Have Always Been At War With Eastasia

So sayeth disillusioned hawkish liberals and former socialists, so be-ith.



Baseball is more important. I guess.

Personally, I hate baseball. Just like I hate America.


So if we’ve beaten Al Queda, how come we’re not bringing the troops home?


Poisoning the well, it’s what rightwingers do best.

Set up the claim right now that things are just hunky-dory in Iraq as death counts drop, terror cells are destroyed as if the military is just one big dose of radiation (and with the use of depleted uranium, that’s not a stretch) to a cancerous tumor.

Pay no mind that we are directly responsible for said tumor.

Pay no mind that waging a war against an idea is as fruitless an endeavour as trying to convince normally sane people that Bush has hoodwinked them, Dems and Repubs.

He set out to do what he wanted to do — secure resources for his big money boys. In his world, he isn’t just a victor, he’s a visionary leader for the next millenium.

And I’m a Pulitezer-prize winning ventriloquist.


It’s sharp analysis like this that keeps John Bolton coming back to Power Line.

I regularly poll conservative bloggers on various topics and for the past two years, you have ranked as one of their favorite people on the right (here & here). So, let me give you a chance to return the favor: are there any blogs you regularly or semi-regularly read?

Well, I read Atlas Shrugs, Power Line, Michelle Malkin, National Review blogs, and you know, I have left some out. But, I try to read a lot of them — you know, Redstate, RealClearPolitics — there is just a lot of good and creative thinking out there and I wish I had time to read more of them.

From John Hawkins’ interview with John Bolton (Right Wing News, October 15, 2007).


Oh, please, Leonard Pierce. Every one knows that US servicemen and women aren’t Americans and their casualties don’t count for anything important.

Well, how’s this for a “who’s winning” arguement? On Junuary 21, 2009, bin Laden (unless he dies from old age or whatever he’s got going on) will still be in power, Bush won’t.


“But then, if all we’d done to stop Japan after Pearl Harbor was keep them from attacking America again, that wouldn’t be much of a victory.”

That is a cheap and unfair comparison. Al-Qa’eda killed more Americans on American soil in one day than Imperial Japan killled in four years of total war. The analogy should run more like this: if Cheney, the Neo-Cons, and puppet-boy had been running the War on Fascism, “the United States of America” would now be the narrow buffer zone between Japan’s American Co-Prosperity Sphere and the North American Reich Provinces.


Indeed, as Peter Wehner points out

Rod Boner pokes holes in this.


How pathetic is it to tally up a score between America and Al_Qaeda?
Here’s how it looks…

Say, you are sitting at home, watching NFL, flipping between the Packers game and the Raiders game and munching on a giant bag of Doritos. Then all of a sudden a little nasty mosquito or some related bugsie flies right into your eye as you are watching, causing severe irritation and redness.

In response to this unprovoked action you dig out your son’s baseball bat from his closet, the one that he got for X-mas from Grandpa and you start swatting at mosquitos. Since your eye is still red, it’s kinda hard to see exactly what is a mosquito and what isn’t, but hey that’s the last thing that’s gonna stop you. Before long, you break your coffee table into pieces, knock over the TV, make a huge hole into the drywall to the master bedroom, break the Chinese vase that you bought for your wife from Pottery Barn as an anniversary present, and then when your neignbour looks through the window, horrified to see what is going on, you accidentally lose the grip on the bat, it comes out flying, hits him in the head and knock him unconscious.

Besides, since you are not really a trained mosquito-swatter, you twist your ankle and may have torn your left rotator cuff. And then, just when you are about exhausted, you hear a little bugger annoyingly bzz right by your ear.

Now, who in their right mind would sit down after a rampage like that and declare: “Success in the war on mosquitos! Since I started swatting no mosquitoes have gotten into my eyes and I destroyed at least four of them with my decisive action. Plus that wet spot where my daugther spilled her juice the other day was swarming with mosquitos, but now that I swung my bat they are all gone from there and are probably hiding under the sofa, the little cowards! I win!”

Northern Observer

Look at the republicans trying to slither away from the steaming pile of crap they are leaving for the next President to clean up. These 27%ers sure know how to destroy things, like America’s future.



What do you mean, “say”? You’ve been surveilling me, haven’t you? Those fucking mosquitoes–plus, the health insurance won’t cover the torn rotator cuff because it’s a “pre-existing condition.” Yes, it’s happened before. So what?


Well, George Bush can pretty much do what he wants and go where he pleases, while Osama is stuck clearing brush on his 5,000 square mile Pashtun poppy ranch. I’d say George is the clear winner. On the other hand, Osama checkmated Bush in six moves while Bush was still looking for a deuce for his Go Fish hand, so it may not be completely cut-and-dried.


Krassen, that’s the goddamndest funniest thing I’ve read in a long time.


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