Needless To Say, We Know Nothing Of This

Mikey sends a screen-capture of mysterious, yet authoritative nature:

Above: The net of proof grows tighter


Comments: 73


Unfortunately, that comment was deleted for ‘vandalism’ by someone. But does that person have absolute proof that Mickey Kaus does not blow goats? Until we get an answer to that question, we must continue asking it – as it would be irresponsible not to.


Goats will neither confirm nor deny the allegations.


And now you al have learned an important lesson, such as, the answer to the question, “Mommy, how the do theymake goat cheese?”


Local goats were asked for comment on the rumors but refused. This is clear evidence of complicity in the coverup.


Is mickey saying “Sniff my finger. Like it? It’s goat!”


are you sure the goats aren’t blowing mickey because who else…?


also, goats will pretty much eat anything, cardboard, wood shavings, expired tuna…


As Mickey was fond of saying back in his college days:

For children, a woman;
For pleasure, a boy;
But for sheer ecstasy, a goat.


The rumors are true then.


I pity the goats.


Yeah, but that edit is a clear violation of Wikipedia’s NPOV (“Neutral Point of View”) policiy. If it had been phrased more circumspectly (i.e., “…who has widely been reported to blow goats”) it would undoubtedly have passed muster.

Aside from the inevitable “[citation needed]” tag, that is.


All I can say is, the Mickster, as he was known in the local goat community, gave me the best head I’ve ever had in my life. But that’s not on the record.


This story has legs – 6 of them. But in my estimation, a very serious question is being ignored by teh MSM:

Does Mickey fuck goats, or does he merely blow them? And if he merely blows said goats, do the goats reciprocate?


Ey iz stil in ur barnyardz fellatin ur goatz1!!!!1!!1

An Anonymous Goat

Mickey Kaus . . . raped me.


I guess the rumors really are true. Mickey Kaus is a goat-blower. My God.


It would be wrong to not speculate as to whether or not that was Mickey Kaus in Goatse.


He may be a goat blower, but it’s reasonable to conclude that when he does blow them, they don’t travel very far.


The time has come for some enterprising young Photoshop genius to come up with some LOLgoatz.

“Whe-e-ere iz Mi-i-i-i-ckey?”


I have photos of Mickey Kaus in which his I am no goat blower” lapel pin is conspicuously absent.


It’s very true about Mickey. In fact he’ll be starring as the goat fucking husband in a revival of my play “The Goat,” where Mickey has assented to perform the controversial on-stage goat blowjob, which was cut in the original production, after Bill Pullman insisted that he be allowed to instead blow Nathan Lane. “More of an acting challenge,” he said at the time.

To have an actual goat blower performing in the role of the goat blowing husband/father/gay guy has exceeded my most cherished hopes for the fulfillment of my artistic vision.

The only problem so far is that on the odd occasion when the goats accidentally shit all over him, he whines like a little girl. Very unprofessional, and unbecoming. Grow a pair, Mary!


I’m not partisan on this, but I’d just like to say, from the animal protection point of view, that I have never seen a case of goatfucking where the goat assented–rationally and under no duress–to the advances of a human. Not even from a normal looking human.


Feeling apprehensive, Mr. Kaus then offered a twenty dollar bill to the goat, whom he described as stocky.


why is Mr. Kaus so silent ont he subject of goat-blowing? surely if innocent, he would have nothing to hide, and thus no reason to refrain from speaking.


I defy anyone to produce a goat that will swear Mickey didn’t blow him, and back it up with a lie detector test.


Jeebus, he was just helping the goat over the fence.


It’s back up on Wikipedia. Confirmaton indeed!!


I have photos of Mickey Kaus in which his “I am no goat blower” lapel pin is conspicuously absent.

Interesting indeed. And if Mickey isn’t wearing the lapel, well, he he’s the one making an issue out of it, no….? He brought it all on and has no one to blame but himself.


Joe Klein’s conscience posting here? Well I guess Joe Klein has no use for you.


So that’s why Bush couldn’t put that book down on 9/11.


Upon entering the barn on or around 8 pm, I noticed the defendent, Mickey Kaus, loitering around the feeding trough. When I approached, defendent made certain gestures which are commonly understood in the man-goat community to indicate a desire to engage in sexual activity. I entered my stall, only to find the defendent peering through the door at me. He then entered the stall adjacent to mine, placed his foot next to my hoof under the partition wall and tapped it several times — a gestture that is also generrally understood as an invitation to engage in oral sex. I then showed Mr. Kaus my badge, placed him under arrest and head butted his soirry ass into the next county.

Given this 15th day of October,
Superior Court of Billygoat County, Idaho
Judge Craig presiding

Herr Doktor Bimler

So the guy has a day job that involves balloon animals. You got a problem with that?

Innocent Bystander

Goatgate is clearly building…how long can Kaus maintain his silence on this issue? I haven’t seen such a clear slam-dunk case based on the facts since Colin laid out the evidence of Iraqi WMD at the UN.


And let me introduce to you, the act you’ve known for all these years, Mickey Kaus’ Goat Loving Hands !!!


[…] Mikey sends a screen-capture of mysterious, yet authoritative nature […]

Herr Doktor Bimler

The Mickey Kaus Story:
Look Back in Angora.


So.. I guess this scandal will kill Mickey’s chances of being next-year’s Grand Marshal of the Goat Week Celebration in Laconia NH? (It was said that he, known by the locals as ‘Gumby’, was a shoo-in to win!) Goat Week is traditionally held in June, the week after,“Laconia Bike Week”, and attracts goat clubs from all over the world and as far away as Sagittarius*. The Big Festival culminates with an escorted parade down rt 106 to Loudon Raceway, for an all day exposition of different ‘Free-Style’ goat tricks and techniques. Ending the day with clowns and a magic show for the kidds.

The goats are gonna go wild, like they did in ’65.

Oh Shit!


oh mickey you’re so fine
you’re so fine you blow my cock
hey mickey! hey mickey!


The Mickey Kaus Story:
Look Back in Angora.

So I was wrong thinking he was a bleatnik.

Smiling Mortician

Ah, sibling rivalry. It’s never pretty. (Damn. Link won’t embed.) Here:


Aww, now who edited his wiki page? Huh? Who did that?

I couldn’t find a shorter clip. Emphasis on the last 20 seconds.


How long has it been since Mickey has failed to refute these allegations?

A suspiciously long time, I think.

Herr Doktor Bimler

I’m loth to pile onto Mickey, but whatthehell, the mohair the merrier.


The crowds, the excitement — it’s all too much… feeling dizzy now… give me some air…


No nanny state for Kaus.


He tried to slip me a Mickey. Quite literally !!!


He tried to slip me a Mickey. I kid you not !!!


What Cowalker mean to say:


Herr Doktor Bimler

I for one deplore these deranged-liberal cashmear tactics directed against Kaus.


You want buttsecks? I’ll give you freckin’ buttsecks.


“He tried to slip me a Mickey. I kid you not !!!”


Herr Doktor Bimler

Oh noes! Incontrovertible graphic evidence!

I am not at liberty to tell you how I came by these images, but I have complete trust in my source, who informs me that they come from “Captain Kidd’s” own private collection.

As yet without LOLgoat captions. Or caprations — which should be a word.


Well spotted, mein lieber Herr Doktor. The Herculaneum Pan (second of the links above) actually looks a bit like Kaus.


I’m glad this issue has come up. My research has shown there is much more goat sects going on than I’d ever imagined.


Ah… This is as clear an example of “whistle-blowing” (not goat-blowing, necessarily, although there may yet be a relationship). Mickey is trying to send a high-pitched message that only those who are attuned to it (perhaps other goat blowers?) can hear. This may not be solid proof that Mickey is a goat-blower, however, it does show his affinity for the goat-blowing milieu. What does he share in common with them?

And by the way, let me be the first to say that I have no problem with goat-blowing, as long as it is consensual goat-blowing (i.e., the goat is of a similar mind as to the procedure). If it should turn out that, indeed, Mickey does blow goats (and the mystery around this point continues to widen), we should not be too hasty to judge Mickey for this pecadillo, lest we all be judged for our own, more normal, pecadillos.


Is it true that his MySpace page lists Goat Head Soup as his favorite album? That’s not true, is it? That’s gotta be a joke, right?




Sure, it’s kind of funny, but wikipedia is not the place IMHO for this sort of juvenile crap. Sorry to be a spoilsport, but reporting the truth would have been better:

“Kaus was the subject of malicious rumors circulating in the political blogoshpere in October of 2007. According to the rumors, started by Atrios of the blog Eschaton, Kaus was in the habit of performing oral sex on goats. This rumor was apparently in response to Kaus’s use of anonymous sources that contradicted on-the-record denials of an accusation against Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, who was alleged to have had an extramarital affair. Despite public denials by both Edwards and the alleged woman involved, Kaus implied that his source, an anonymous friend of the woman, was more credible than the public denials of both Edwards and the alleged mistress. Other blogs picked up on and amplified the Kaus-goat rumor, claiming anonymous sources that had witnessed the act. Adding to the fun, these bloggers claimed that Kaus’s refusal to publilc deny the allegations was possible proof that they were true.”

See, not too hard, objeectively true, and even more dammning of Kaus as it also challenges his journalistic standards and credibility.

Plus, it doesn’t abuse wikipedia which, for all its faults, is a well-meaning and useful endeavor (again, IMHO).


funniest comment thread ever. Or at least today.


Them goats is gettin’ lots of attention now but Mickey is not the first to discover the joys of “going goat”.


The name translates literally from the Spanish as “goat sucker.”

See; for illustration.

There is also an order of birds that go by the name “goat sucker”.


Suck a golf ball through a garden hose?! That’s nuthin’. A goat can EAT A TIN CAN!

no fries - chips!

we tried walking kaus around wrigley field to remove the curse, and all the time he was sing about “you don’t need a weatherman to know which way the goat blows”, or something.

but it still didn’t work. well any ballclub or pundit can have a ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-d century.

Sister Nancy Beth Eczema

Why does the liberal media refuse to even cover the growing goat-blowing controversy? MSM is clearly an accomplice in the cover-up.


It seems that the wingnuts knew more about this Chupacabra/Kaus connection than they’ve let on. Google, “Kaus Chupacabra”, and see what the results are and as importantly, which blogs have made mention of Ol’ Mickey and the Chupacabra in the same posts.It’s like the fuckin’ X-Files!

(No wonder X-Files was on Fox, they had inside information!)


No one has even dared to ask the question that’s in the back of all of our minds: Just how young are these goats in question? Jesus Christ, they could be KIDS for all we know, and this “hasn’t denied it” deviant could be enacting his sick, sick fantasies on goats as young as one or two years old! Has anyone even bothered to look up the beastiality laws of his state? I’m all for “alternative lifestyles” but when it comes to the lives of defensless young animals, I draw the line!


I agree with Darth Gongshow up above, wikipedia vandalism isn’t very funny. Wikipedia is amazing in that given that anyone can edit anything if the rightwing view of human nature were the case one would expect Wikipedia to be much worse than it is — kind of nice that it’s so good. Messing up wikipedia seems like something rightwing assholes would think was funny.


I agree with Darth Gongshow up above, wikipedia vandalism isn’t very funny.

Bringing the Wikipedia’s standards up to a Kaus-like level of accuracy is a noble goat goal.


“I agree with Darth Gongshow up above, wikipedia vandalism isn’t very funny.”

Neither is spreading rumors about supposed affairs based on “anonymous sources”


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