LOLcons

wifshia.jpg
Above (l-r): Ahmed Chalabi, Mohammad Khatami, Richard Cohen unnamed cleric (Tehran)

oilyraelians.jpg
Above: Debra “Deputy Assistant Secretary for Coalition Affairs” Cagan


Art by Drummer Hoff. ‘LOLcons’ concept created by Jon Swift and named by Marita. (Online LOLcat builder here.)


John M. forwards an email:

Johnny – you won’t believe it, we met the woman in the leather jacket, Ms Cagan, spent an entire evening with her, at a concert given by a rock band made of central European right wingers (all diplomats), friends of Martin Palous, Czech ambassador to the UN. The band played one night a the Knitting Factory on Leonard street, called Coalition of the Willing, led by the Hungarian diplomat Andras Simonyi, who gave her the Iron Cross. We met Tom Stoppard, the playwright, there, as well as this crazy woman in a leatherette tunic, she gave us her business card, and was drinking heavily and dancing like a dervish. She tried to befriend us, but as she is obviously insane, and SCARIER IN PERSON THAN IN PHOTOS, we kind of slipped away. We thought from her rambling discussion that she was an arms dealer, she had just returned from what sounded like a sex junket to our fighting boys in Iraq. She was telling us how sexy the front line guys were, and the whole live for today ethos that prevails in the Green Zone. A truly, truly mad woman, and now Gates’ right hand man (she really looks like a bondage dude).

I fear for the republic.

Hasta, JB

 

Comments: 60

 
 
 

I get the feeling that a lot of the neocons think that a generation of soldiers who’ve been driven mad by war would be a really awesome thing. I think people like Cagan is wildly, wildly in favor of a completely, gibberingly-insane society.

 
 

She reminds me of a character from a Zucker bros. movie.

A really bad Zucker bros. movie.

 
 

I don’t get it. Why do you guys keep running that pic of John Kerry in 80s bondage drag?

 
 

Would you rather have sex with:

A. Debra Cagan
B. Karen Hughes
C. Your own Mom
D. A Goat

I think I’d have to go with “goat.”

 
 

Can you slip away, slip away

 
 

‘What I said was, I hate Old Irish Narnians, yeah, that was it.’

 
 

I actually said, “I hate all you Randians.”

No?

I can hates fony soljerz?

 
 

(S)he is the gift that just keeps giving, huh?

 
 

we met the woman in the leather jacket, Ms Cagan, spent an entire evening with her, at a concert given by a rock band made of central European right wingers (all diplomats), friends of Martin Palous, Czech ambassador to the UN. The band played one night a the Knitting Factory on Leonard street, called Coalition of the Willing, led by the Hungarian diplomat Andras Simonyi, who gave her the Iron Cross.

Sounds like an evening in HELL.

 
 

Cagan looks like she has been taken over by the Nestenes. Corner her, and half of her hand will drop away, revealing a blaster.

 
 

“She tried to befriend us, but as she is obviously insane, and SCARIER IN PERSON THAN IN PHOTOS, we kind of slipped away. We thought from her rambling discussion that she was an arms dealer, she had just returned from what sounded like a sex junket to our fighting boys in Iraq.”

Will…never…have…sex…again….even alone.

 
 

One of my favorite quotes from The Thing applies here:

“Is that a man in there, or… something?”

 
 

To be fair, Raelians are dicks. I wanted to be cloned, and all I got was my genetic information recorded on space computers.

I can only assume oily Raelians are worse.

 
Sadly, Cambridgeport
 

she had just returned from what sounded like a sex junket to our fighting boys in Iraq

In which the Republicans once again demonstrate that they actually despise the troops.

 
 

Jesus, I thought the Iron Cross was Photoshopped. Who was it that said something about wingnuts Godwinning themselves?

Ilsa, She-Wolf of the GOP.

 
 

she is obviously insane, and SCARIER IN PERSON THAN IN PHOTOS

That would be pretty damn scary.

 
 

Just to be on the safe side, could we get somebody to get her to list all of the people she hates? I have a feeling she’s one of those people who keeps a list, and it might be very valuable knowledge…

mikey

 
 

God damn it, could the Republican party be a bigger freak show please?

 
 

and the whole live for today ethos that prevails in the Green Zone

She could feel that same ethos for herself if she’d just put herself in the line of fire every damn day like the soldiers do. Ever-present death can do that, the whole imminent-hanging-concentrates-the-mind effect and all.

Can we take up some sort of Feel-the-Ethos collection for her? I’m sure she’ll go if we just buy her some more leather and tell her she’s assigned to the SS.

 
 

I said before that she is proof that these bastards are nothing more than a band of performance artists so immersed in dada that they’ve led us to the brink of a global catastrophe just to see how far they can push it.

That they played the Knitting Factory and brought Stoppard along only confirms it.

 
 

What’s funny is that even with the crazy outfits and the “I hate Iranians” comments and the giggled denials of ‘oh sure, yeah, right, we won’t bomb them ha ha ha’, she (??) still seems like a far more rational individual than the Kristols and the Podhorowetz’s and the Horowitz’s and the Kagan’s and the Cheney and etc. etc. etc.

 
 

In other news, hee hee hee hee hee hee:

Arrest order for Pinochet family

A Chilean judge has ordered the arrest of five children and the widow of former military ruler Augusto Pinochet on charges of embezzlement.

The warrants were among 23 issued as part of a corruption investigation into state funds held in US bank accounts…

…Judge Cerda is investigating a case in which Gen Pinochet allegedly hid some $27 million (£13.2 million) with the help of Washington-based Riggs bank.

In 2004, a US Senate investigation found hundreds of bank accounts in the name of Pinochet and his relatives at the bank. He was being investigated for tax evasion, fraud and embezzlement in relation to those funds…

 
 

It’s a man, baby!

 
 

Given that choice I’d do the goat, but I’d want to bring my own.

 
 

Can we get that goat that looks like Stevie Nicks?

 
 

@JK47 – Goatfucker.

 
 

she sorta reminds me of Glen Close in that scary movie where the rabbit gets killed.

 
 

or better yet, Glen Close as Cruella

 
 

Ok, this is funny!

 
 

Is it just me, or is Miss Caran a dead ringer for Jane’s Addiction frontman Perry Farrell?

 
 

So she was partying in TriBeCa…..and one of my favorite music venues…….scary. Have to watch my back.

 
 

I said before that she is proof that these bastards are nothing more than a band of performance artists so immersed in dada that they’ve led us to the brink of a global catastrophe just to see how far they can push it.

That they played the Knitting Factory and brought Stoppard along only confirms it.

YES!!

 
 

Will…never…have…sex…again….even alone.

Ms Cagan is hot.. Your just jelous of the troops she banged. Traitor!!11!!1

 
 

From the forwarded email:

We thought from her rambling discussion that she was an arms dealer[.]

It turns out she kind of is. Her office was created this year:

Strategic Objective 5.1: Build capacity of international partners in fighting the war on terrorism.

A. Scope of Strategic (Enterprise-level) Objective:

The scope of this objective area includes arms control and threat-reduction activities under the supervision of the Office of the Secretary of Defense.…This strategic objective looks at how the DoD harmonizes our views of the world with our international partners, and then builds the capacity of those partners to combat terrorism by providing access to equipment (through transfers and sales) and training. After completion of the first two phases, training and equipping, our partners are more capable of countering the threats and challenges of terrorism.

[…]

E. Strategies for Achieving Objective:

[…]

• Structure and Organizational Initiatives: The USD (P) [Under Secretary of Defense for Policy] has reorganized and created two new senior level supervisory positions to oversee the execution of partnership efforts (Deputy Assistant Secretaries of Defense for Partnership Strategy and Coalition Affairs).

From the Department of Defense’s FY 2007/2008 Performance Plan (pdf, pp. 86, 87).

 
 

So, that is for real??

That pic is unretouched, and that is really a woman, who was born female, who works in the Bush administration?

There are *pages* of crazy rolling off that woman, in that case. I am freaked out.

 
 

Make that pp. 86, 88.

 
 

Goddammit, I’m lovin me this Cagan thing – Repug pathologies are now right out of Visconti’s “The Damned”…

 
 

JK47. it’s a girl goat right? and is it at least kinda cute?

 
a different mikey
 

EL Cid:

Thanks for some good news. Isn’t it great that Chile is doing something about the reign of the unlamented General. Would that our own spineless guvmint will ever do the same here.

 
 

Albee’s The Goat or Who Is Sylvia was pretty frickin’ weird, but still not as creepy as the Replicant in red PVC.

 
 

“I don’t get it. Why do you guys keep running that pic of John Kerry in 80s bondage drag?”

THANK YOU. That’s exactly right. I couldn’t pinpoint it and it was driving me crazy, but that’s exactly the mental image she provides.

 
 

Um, iron cross? How strangely Freudian is that? They just can’t wait for the shipment of brown shirts, those fun leather riding boots, and all the way cool medals. I wonder if she’ll be OK with black, or will the new SS have to stick with the red leather?

 
 

It’s all so very Weimar Berlin.

 
 

Wasn’t she in that one Star Trek, where she straps Shatner onto the big cloning wheel?

 
 

Wasn’t she in that one Star Trek, where she straps Shatner onto the big cloning wheel?

No, no no, its Servelan, from Blake’s 7

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:B7Servalan.jpeg

 
 

I always imagined the third circle of hell as being inhabited by Lucienne Goldberg, Linda Tripp, Ann Coulter, Bay Buchanan and Candy Crowley.
Now I’ve got to make room for Ms. Cagan.

 
 

“Frau Blucher!”

 
 

[neighhhhhhhh!!]

Well, if someone ever decides to make movies out of Robertson Davies’ novels, she’d be perfect for Lieslotte Vitzliputzli.

 
 

Wow sounds like an incredibly fun filled evening at the Knitting Factory.Band line up of rightist Eastern European Diplomats honing their off duty chops,various neo-cons pogoing to the funky,funky sound,and one certifiably insane female Klaus Nomi lookalike.One question,WHERE THE FUCK WAS MALCOLM McLAREN during this incredible goulash of bizarre.Ahh Good times,good times..You Beautiful Bastards!1!!11

 
Rumple Stiltskin
 

Story sounds like some bizarre hoax. But it checks out. See below article.

http://www.huembwas.org/News/KnittingFactory.htm
The “Coalition of the Willing” Takes New York by Storm

January 8, 2005

The “Coalition of the Willing,” a.k.a. the C.J.T.F. Band, featuring Ambassador Simonyi and his friends, played at the Knitting Factory in New York City Saturday night to an audience of 300. The band, which features U.S. ambassador to Moscow Alexander Vershbow on drums, Assistant Secretary of State Lincoln Bloomfield on bass, and Dan Poneman, a principal with the Scowcroft Group, on guitar, was joined on stage by guitarist extraordinaire Jeff “Skunk” Baxter, formerly with Steely Dan and the Doobie Brothers, and now a Pentagon defense consultant, and session player Jim Ehinger on keyboards.

 
 

Heavens to Betsy, thank you for this posting, in the absence of which I’d never have Googled cagan+hate, and would have missed the Daily Mail story and its sidebar pointer to Princess Leia’s buns,
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=485709&in_page_id=1773

 
 

Give that one dude a red suit and he’d kinda look a bit like Santa. Speaking of Santa, just when are you folks going to begin your annual war on Christmas this year?

That war sparked quite a hit for me last year with this song:

Best Buy Inn
Dr BLT c 2006, 2007
http://www.drblt.net/music/BestBI.mp3

 
 

Jeff “Skunk” Baxter, formerly with Steely Dan and the Doobie Brothers, and now a Pentagon defense consultant, What more needs to be said?

 
 

They need to get John”Flavor Savor”Bolton on the triangle or something.And what the hell is Tommy Ramone doing with these guys,I always heard some of them were right wingers but come on.

 
 

She’s covering her Adam’s apple. This is always a giveaway. Paris Coulter for some reason lets it all hang out.

 
 

Jeff “Skunk” Baxter, formerly with Steely Dan and the Doobie Brothers, and now a Pentagon defense consultant, What more needs to be said?

Yacht Rock

 
 

Speaking of Santa, just when are you folks going to begin your annual war on Christmas this year?

I have a Mutual Non-Aggression Gifting Treaty with my mother’s side of the family.

 
Herr Doktor Bimler
 

It is a truth universally acknowledged that I have fuck-all taste in clothes, but even I know better than to wear something that makes me look like a second-hand lounge suite.

 
 

I’m thinking of the Donald Sutherland played freako in Bertolucci’s 1900

 
Incontinentia Buttocks
 

Didn’t someone point out in the last Cagan thread that she had a position in the Clinton Administration as well?

If you think we’re getting rid of these freaks by electing a Democrat instead of a Republican next year, well, Sadly, No!

 
 

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