On Tim Russert’s Meet the Circle Jerkers yesterday, the Washington Post’s Mike Allen gave the inside scoop on Bush’s Baghdad visit:

This White House says the president likes surprises, which is why the aides are threatened with excommunication if they leak his announcements.

Did Allen mean things like:

Surprise, I’m piling up debt faster than my brother can get it on with Thai hookers!? Or:
Surprise! Joe Wilson’s wife is a covert CIA agent!? Or:
Surprise! Saddam Hussein didn’t have any WMD we can find!?

Probably (and sadly,) No! Meanwhile, shortly before Tim Russert climaxed, he offered this:

Air Force One streaked through the skies, over 600 miles per hour

Wow, that sounds like AF1 might be a Boeing 747 or something. Who knew?

As for Doris Kearns-Goodwin, she reminds us yet again that her only good insights are the ones she plagiarizes from other authors with this gem of her (?) making:

you realize that everything else seems to be in their [president’s] control. … They go on a diet, cottage cheese is brought into the room; they go off the diet, the cakes come back.

Thanks Doris, please come back again soon.

Our thanks to Roger Ailes for pointing out Russert’s orgasm, and uggabugga for warning us about MTP MTCJ.