The post that may make Andrew Sullivan and Bill O’Reilly’s brains [!] explode!
Blair sends us this Washington Post article with the most shocking revelation:
The Pentagon has delayed awarding a $100 million contract to run a national Iraqi newspaper and television and radio networks, a result of the U.S. decision last month to transfer political power to an Iraqi government by July 1. …
U.S. officials, meanwhile, are “in the process of explaining” to members of the Iraqi Governing Council how they think the news organizations should be run after July 1, a Defense Department official said. The U.S. officials are using the BBC and National Public Radio as models for the new government to follow… [Emphasis added]
What — you mean they’re not using FoxNews and InstaPundit as models? Horror of all horrors! Which reminds us of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog’s appearance on NPR’s Fresh Air:
Triumph: Holy crap. Listen to this. Let me ask you something. I feel like I’m being bombarded here. I know what’s happening here. I know what’s happening here. Did you ask the same questions to Kermit the Frog?
GROSS: Kermit the Frog didn’t do our show.
Triumph: Did you do this…
GROSS: He didn’t do our show.
Triumph: All right. Well, OK. How about when Beethoven did your show? Did you challenge him the way you’re challenging me? Did you ask…
GROSS: It was a different kind of interview.
Triumph: It was a different…
GROSS: It was a different kind of interview.
Triumph: OK. Yeah, I can see what’s going on here.
GROSS: Beethoven’s funny. No, it’s different.
Triumph: Oh, is that right? It’s a satire what Beethoven does. Yes, I’m just–you know, I can’t believe the government is paying for this interview. That’s what I can’t believe, you know? My money that could be going to Pekinese hookers is instead going to this, you know, Public Radio that’s obviously more slanted than my (censored) after I’ve (censored) the St. Bernard. What are we talking about? That’s right.
GROSS: Triumph, I don’t think you’re being fair, and I think if you gave Public Radio a chance, you wouldn’t feel that way ’cause I think Public Radio has always been fair to the dog world.
Triumph: I’m trying to give it a chance, but you keep bombarding me. You keep bombarding me. I’m evaluating this interview very closely is what I’m doing. You know, this is just 10 minutes of defamation, 70 minutes in dog years. You think it’s fair, Terry? You need to get into another business. That’s right. No, good. This is all going to be fodder for Harper’s magazine, for Dog Fancy magazine, which I know is liberally–there’s liberal publishers of dog fancy. I mean, that thing is like gay porn anyway.
GROSS: Well, Triumph, I really don’t think you’re being fair and I’m going to change the subject.
Triumph: Good, because I’m not going to walk out of this interview.
GROSS: No, good.
Triumph: I’m not going to do that. I’m better than that, but I am going to take a poop right now. I’m going to poop in this studio right now.
Readers are invited to submit the Iraq version of NPR shows in the comments. An undisclosed prize will likely not be awarded. [Note: this post was made before the switch to WordPress — and sadly the import feature didn’t work so the original comments are clumsily copied below.]
Comments
Car Bomb Talk: Join Abdul and Akbar as they take calls from Iraqis and “others” and give advise about choosing the right sort of car for your bombing run and how to make sure it doesn’t break down before you reach the target.
Sunni Home Companion: Join host Gar es-Illon to get the best in Iraqi musical performance and the news from Lake Whatsgoingon.
All Things Censored: During which the hosts give you all the news of the day, after it’s been filtered through the Iraqi Governing Council; the United States Department of Defense; the White House; the State Department; Antonin Scalia; Jerry Falwell; Tom Ridge’s caddy; a cousin of Sen. Pat Roberts whose name, we think, is Willie; Neil Bush’s favorite Thai prostitute; Sean Hannity (the Bush family’s favorite American prostitute); the student senate of Bob Jones University; and that guy that wrote The Bible Code.
Weakened Condition: Various Iraqi pundits discuss the infrastructure of post-war, post-Saddam Iraq. Listeners hear tips on how to live without water, electricity or a job. Puzzle Master Will Shortz gives a weekly clue to the location of those weapons of mass destruction. Juan Williams and Mara Liasson reassure Iraqi listeners that no Democrat will ever again hold a position of power in the United States.
Free Air: Interviewer Tariq Aziz interviews various interviewees, some of whom walk out.
Talc of the Nation: A game show sponsored by the Iraqi Ministry of Mines, in which contestants from America, England and Spain compete for lucrative mineral rights in-country.
Missle and Shamrock: Ethnic music from terrorist groups that hate England.
O.K., I’ll stop now.
WAIT…WAIT…DON’T SHELL ME!
A weekly game show in which contestants are called at random and asked to identify locations of WMDs and/or Saddam loyalists. Losers receive a personalized exploding US Army shell lobbed into their living room by the show’s announcer, Kar el-Kassel.
The Ombudsman – featuring Ahmed Chalabi on their web site answering listener’s questions about ethics.
Mourning Edition–in which tens of thousands of family members of those killed by the US occupation explain whether or not the senseless death which surrounds them increses their support of said occupation (here’s a hint–it does not)