I believe it comes from their fevered dreams as they lay in pools of their own urine clutching half-full (optimism!) bottles of cheap rotgut in their palsied mitts.

But I could be wrong.

I’m glad you asked! It’s the constellation Draco.

Also possibly 1982. We can never really be sure.

One of the strangest traits of Iraq wingnuts is their desire to believe that the Iraqis are actually grateful that the United States invaded their country. Can anyone tell me where this sort of lunacy comes from?

From the same place where Medved’s “Oh, the slaves didn’t have it so hard” bullshit comes from.

They know they’ve been supporting criminality and wrongdoing all these years, but they can’t stand to admit it. They can’t stand to admit that they, or their ideological allies, were ever wrong about anything, so they invent rationales to excuse themselves.

It’s like trying to argue with a two-year-old. With a child, you gotta wait ’til they mature, so you and they can have a good laugh about their behavior. Unfortunately, I don’t know that there’s any way to make a wingnut act mature…

Can anyone tell me where this sort of lunacy comes from?

Um, sloppy readings of Rudyard Kipling?

Well, see, the Native Americans were very grateful that the Europeans invaded and slaughtered so many indigenous people. So grateful, in fact, that the first thing they did was build casinos in honor of their new white friends. We can logically deduce that the Kurds are experiencing the same kind of post-invasion euphoria, as witnessed by their new casinos.

Honestly, Brad, I can’t believe you’ve forgotten one of the underlying positive rationales of the invasion: The casinos will pay for the War.

But more importantly, do the Iraqis have traces of romance in their heads? Is heaven holdin’ a half-moon, shinin’ just for them? And will they, moreover, slip off to a sand dune, real soon, and kick up a little dust?

I suspect it is a defense mechanism they have developed to protect their humanity from their inhuman desires. If you have to accept the horror of endless war, the destruction, the rats getting fat on putrefying corpses, the shaking hands of the diseased, they plaintive cries of the dying and the accusatory stares from the empty sockets of dead skulls, well, then you are going to have a difficult time sustaining your support for the policy.

If, however, you can instead visualize happy schoolchildren, prosperous merchants contributing to the well being of a growing national economy and smiling brown natives happily gambling their disposable income for a nights entertainment, you can cite these outcomes as the positive results of a campaign waged entirely for the benefit of the indigenous population. And you can anxiously support more of the same, for all the same benefits are certain to accrue to the next population to find themselves in the crosshairs.

mikey

Note to Brad.

At least 50 die as new violence erupts in Iraq

I’m sure more than 50 people will be murdered this weekend in America, so Iraq is actually safer than D.C. or Indiana or whatever. You’re welcome, Baghdad!

I think first you promote the narrative that they *are* grateful to afterward plausibly act taken aback that they are not — and why not? The ingrates.

This can be applied equally well to angry Iraqis (but remember how grateful we thought you oughta be when we invaded your country?) and angry black Americans (but remember how grateful we decided you oughta be that we brung you over to this great country?)

You have to make fantasy history part 1 before you can follow it up triumphantly with fantasy history part 2.

I mean, what is Medved’s storyline meant to do except to later enable him to lament the absence of gratitude on the part of black people for slavery?

why it comes straight out of their asses! can’t you tell?

Because the Kurds are (I’m not making this up) building a shiny new casino in Sulaimaniyah

So when does “Blue Man Group” open?

Well, maybe there is a place where Dennis Miller can find a stand-up gig.

Um, sloppy readings of Rudyard Kipling?

I’ve always been under the impression that Kipling was being sarcastic. When I was a teaching assistant, I gave a lecture on the US adventure in the Philippines, and I read a couple of verses from “White Man’s Burden” and I taught it from the perspective that Kipling was being sarcastic. Something from his tone.

Still, I’m not an expert in English lit, and I could be wrong. Does anyone know enough of Kipling’s private thoughts, from journals or letters or whatever, to offer up an opinion?

“Can anyone tell me where this sort of lunacy comes from?”

From the voices. In their heads. Received as radio transmissions. Through the fillings in their teeth. Direct from HQ.

g said,
So when does “Blue Man Group” open?

They have this great skit where they get cut down in a hail of gunfire, splurting blue liquid over the stage, then fall to the ground and lay still for the next hour and a half.
I think it will really speak to the Iraqis.

All of their ‘Pearly-White Stetsons’ are 2″ too small.

Forget your upcoming residency at Caesars Palace, Cher. Kurdistan wants you.

I believe in life after love….

“Because the Kurds are (I’m not making this up) building a shiny new casino in Sulaimaniyah!”

Yes. Yes, they are, and I’ll be opening in The Grand Wazoo Ballroom and Theater on March 15th for a limited one-week engagement, with nightly shows at 8:00 and 11:30.

Shecky Gold’s opening for me. You may have seen Shecky on my 2002-03 reality series on Bravo. He’s a funny, funny guy. You’ll love him.

The early show’s open to all ages, but the 11:30 can get a little…blue.

I look forward to seeing you there. And don’t forget to try the veal. It’s halal, of course.

Thank you very much. You’ve been a terrific audience. And God Bless America….and a free Iraq!

Danke Schoen, darlin’ Danke Schoen…

“Can anyone tell me where this sort of lunacy comes from?”

From a very, very deep-rooted desire to be liked. They’ve projected their egos onto the troops and the US presence in Iraq. If the Iraqis are happy that the US is there, then they are liked by the Iraqis in their minds. Unlike that bitch ex-wife and stupid boss.

There’s only one possible explanation for the news that the Kurds are building a casino. The Surge is working. Yes, you heard it here first. Well, almost first.

Was “opening a Kurdish casino” one of the benchmarks? Please tell me it was. Please.

6. THERE IS NO REASON TO BELIEVE THAT TODAY’S AFRICAN-AMERICANS WOULD BE BETTER OFF IF THEIR ANCESTORS HAD REMAINED BEHIND IN AFRICA.

And there’s no reason to believe that today’s Iraqis aren’t grateful for all the freedom we’ve given them.

A casino… In the Kurdish Government General / Autonomous Collective Area???

I’m sure the guys in AQ-M will be doing a LOT of R&R there. Will they have a, “Bomb Check Girl”? Or will there simply be a hole in the wall that says, “Put Bomb Here”?

Hoosier X, yes, Kipling is full of what those in the lit crit biz call verbal irony. He’s been misread about as much as poor old Eric Blair, cursed with the misapplied adjective “Orwellian” . . .

Oh man, Mortician, every freakin time I so much as mention I enjoy AE Houseman or Kipling they kick my ass for it.

But let’s be honest. They like commie poets who are afraid of meter….

And allergic to rhyme…

mikey

The picture of Bush clutching the child on that link is teh Creeepy!

And no, Kipling is not being “ironic”– he grew up in India (thus the Jungle Book) as his parents served the Queenly Empire there, & he hated the “wogs” & brown people & embraced his privilege.

He did have some regrets when he sent his 21 yr. old son off to WWI and the boy was dead in less than a week– but that was fairly late in his career.

Kipling does one helluva job of making you understand what it means when you get it you’re eleven bravo. Third oldest profession.

He got it. And could tell it to you. Your job was to die. You were simply expected to take seven mud people with you. Then the math worked. And there was no point or reason for being bitter. How else could the world be?

And that’s the trap we’re in today. The honesty comes from the trigger-pullers. And the leadership doesn’t have to listen…

mikey

All this crap about “success” in the Kurdish areas conveniently forgets that the Kurds, under the Northern No-Fly Zone, were pretty much running their own show up there long before spring 2003. Whatever “success” there is can’t really be attributed to the American prescence.

Mikey — yes yes yes.

Mark the Spark — please (as I say to my students) read more carefully. Knowing who his parents were and where he grew up does not substitute for thoughtful exploration of the texts. Do you want your ideas judged purely on the basis of who your parents are/were?

*shuddering at the very thought*