I think Aristotle had it right when he stated that ants and flies generate spontaneously from wine left uncovered. That disproves the video above, if you agree with the Aristotletelian premise of generation of ants and flies–which I certainly do.

Did he just admit to his organization opening peanut jars for almost 100 years?

I’m in favor of catmatic science, meself.

If you doubt this is possible, how is it there are PYGMIES + DWARFS??

Good times.

How to disprove evolution in 3 easy steps:

1) Have no knowledge of biological sciences, or if you have knowledge of biological sciences, make sure they are not informed by anything from the last 150 years.

2) With this lack of knowledge, posit a hypothesis that makes absolutely no fucking sense.

3) Prove said hypothesis makes no fucking sense.

Ergo, evolution is wrong!

“Life from non-life, apart from God’s intervention, is a fairy tale.”

So, without one fairy tale, science is all fairy tale. How about that.

A wild banana bit my sister once…

DON’T EAT THAT!!

mikey

The sad, sad, wacko right-wing-Christian mind just can’t comprehend the powers humankind now commands. For some reason they get the internal combustion engine, but anything subtler or more complex than that simply escapes them.
Computers run on magic smoke! Pasteurization? What’s that? Foetal stem cells? BABY HUMANS!
Can’t we just set up a Coventry and let them devolve into the savagery they’re agitating for?

Someone else brought this up: notice the jar’s inner lid was already open?
He was really afraid that on that day there would be something living in there, so he opened it ahead of time.

Words forsake me. I just don’t… I can’t…

Apparently 2 weeks on a shelf in a cooled store is an equivalent process to billions of years, a peanut butter jar the size of this earth, and ongoing complex chemical reactions involving many different compounds driven by heat sources like lightening and active vocanoes.

Plus, peanut butter goes really great with bananas!

Next: a video about evolution starring chocolate, which accidentally collides with the peanut butter video. Who says that wouldn’t be new life? Mmm!

That’s what all those Christianist appeals for money are about: they pay for rooms full of cheap labor tirelessly opening fresh jars of peanut butter, billions and billions of them, to prove that evolution is a fraud.

God apparently made the penis to fit into the human hand as well. He also located it conveniently just within the reach of one’s own arms or perfectly positioned to be taken into the mouth by a person on their knees.

Ergo, god wants us to whack off and give each other oral pleasure.

Awesome! Thanks, god!!

See the dumbest thing is they think that new life would come out in the form of a monkey, or worm. If new life formed in a jar of peanut butter, it would be in the form of a few hundred microscopic organisms at most. So apart from the absolutely idiotic implied premise “If new life doesn’t form on peanut butter, Evolution is wrong” he failed to prove the premise “New life hasn’t formed on this peanut butter”.

But if they understood logic they wouldn’t be creationists.

Chuck Missler??

This is bad on so many levels…. For one thing, he’s proceeding on the premise that food preservation techniques render processed food “dead.” To accomplish this would require destroying amino acids, which would render the food virtually useless. In reality, the idea behind most food preservation techniques is to retard bacterial growth to the point where the organisms can’t overwhelm your immune system and make you sick. Given enough time, the Rev.’s peanut butter would sprout mold, even in the absence of light or oxygen. Can he say BOTULISM?

Your Welcome, T.

Well, I guess that finally explains how it is that we are stil to this day able to safely mine, collect , and eat the peanut butter jars which were created by God some 6,000 years ago.

We all would feel pretty silly giving our children that primordial Godly nut butter if we weren’t Biblically assured that life cannot truly arise from non-life.

What I don’t understand is how each year or so our Biblical food scientists are still able to discover new brands and flavors of sweetened peanut butters present from The Creation, presumably hidden somewhere on the planet awaiting their unveiling to the faithful.

Surely you peanut butter cannot arise from non-peanut butter.

Which, of course, leads me to post one of my favorite videos from youtube. Alas, I cannot recommend it completely wholeheartedly, because of some unfortunate prison rape jokes, which no one – not even Kent Hovind – deserves.

The definitely NSFW language, however, does not particularly bother me.

#

Your Welcome, T.

Sigh.

Well, here we have proof that god is a right winger.

I believe you meant “you’re”, your almighty omniscient holiness. (Please don’t smite me!)

I’ve said it before and I will doubtless say it again. You can always tell you’re reading a right-winger by the anarchic state of their homonyms.

I’m trying to figure this out. I suppose he means that over the past 100 years, there have been an average of a billion people a year “doing experiments” (i.e., looking at food to see if it sprouts “new life”)… so if we have not seen “new life” in peanut butter for 100 billion person-years, then there’s no way “new life” could come from non-life in 100 billion years of linear time? Is that his point? Does he even have a real point?

Wow. That is some powerful Stupid he’s got there. Weapons-grade, definitely not street-legal.

This one’s been around for a while.

Together with the banana one, I keep thinking about Elvis and his peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Elvis is God! 😉

Speaking as a former student of the biological sciences, I really wanted to kick everyone appearing in the video square in the throat.

I, instead, amuse myself with this:

http://xkcd.com/54/

“Only god can create life from none life. Dispite this obvous truth…” wha….? Hey, hey there wait a minute. Thought you would sneak one by there eh? OK… prove this ‘god’ person exisits- WITH, no bible.

GD,

And who are you to determine the terms of debate with the wingnuts? They have the authority of God Almighty backing them up. What they say goes. If you dispute that, or demand proof of this authority, or even so much as look askance at them, God will burn you down where you stand.

See, he just did. Didn’t that hurt?

Well, why isn’t all food packaged like a banana? Why aren’t apples equipped w/ E-Z Peel™ skins? Why aren’t cows pre-cooked & peelable? And actually, since in the Garden Of Eden Adam & Steve didn’t have to do any work for their food, why did Gawd leave the bred for easy consumption banana available?
Doomsday Weapon-grade stupid.

Good thing I hate bananas … that looks like something taken from Ann Althouse’s midsection.

How did I got 3+ decades and not know that that is what a banana au naturel looks like?

Gavin, you’re the plant guy — I bought “husk cherries” at the farmers’ market today. Are these the same as gooseberries? Gooseberries seem so WASPy, but these things are like tiny sweet tomatillos.

Well, why isn’t all food packaged like a banana?

Why won’t my brain-waves kill unbelievers?

trex-

Click the ‘god’ link, and you get to mikey. Who is certainly not god (can you say typo?)and certainly not a right winger (I think he rips their heads off and shits down their necks).

I always appreciate good snark, and you can snark with the best of them, but here we have a case of friendly fire.

oudemia-

Yes, tomatillos are closer relatives to the gooseberry than the tomato, as is commonly suspected.

But what would I know about growing things?

Gavin, you’re the plant guy — I bought “husk cherries” at the farmers’ market today. Are these the same as gooseberries? Gooseberries seem so WASPy, but these things are like tiny sweet tomatillos.

Oh, they’re what you call ground cherries. Not related to gooseberries in any meaningful way (they’re Solanaceae, like tomatoes, while gooseberries are in the currant family or something), but ‘cape gooseberry’ is one of the common names for them, like ‘garden huckleberry’ is a name for one of the edible nightshades.

There are old-timey cultivars that are supposed to have a pineapple flavor, but the wild ones tends to be pretty mellow-tasting. How are they?

The sad, sad, wacko right-wing-Christian mind just can’t comprehend the powers humankind now commands. For some reason they get the internal combustion engine, but anything subtler or more complex than that simply escapes them.

Mark Noonan thinks tables support weight due to God’s Incredible Magic. Seriously. Here’s his quote:

That solid table your computer sits on is mostly empty space, held together by God only knows what forces; such forces we can only barely describe, even with our advanced science of today.

You can’t ask Mark to ponder messy things like evolution and natural selection when he can’t even figure out how a fucking table works.

Yes, tomatillos are closer relatives to the gooseberry than the tomato, as is commonly suspected.

Not really; I forget the family that gooseberries are in, but the order is Saxifragales, which includes jade plants, sedums, and other stuff like that. Ground cherry and tomato are Solanales –> Solanaceae, along with potato, nightshade, tobacco, eggplant, datura, and all that sort of thing.

Everybody knows that stuff is held together by Jesus gluons.

I’m having this really strange, scary deja-vu flashback-type moment. I wonder why…

Oh hell, Gavin’s geeking about plants again, Just like when I first got here!!!

AAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!11!!1!

Gavin and tfortoby — The “husk cherries,” “ground cherries,” “cape gooseberries” are terrific. Teeny tiny and yellow green, about 2/3 the size of a grape tomato. Flavor is quite pineapple-y with a touch of strawberry. Very sweet. The texture is dryer than a tomato, so I guess more tomatillo like. I recommend them.

Um . . . drier. Not, you know, an appliance or something.

If these plants were good and useful they’d be dropping from Bush’s bum because that’s where everyone’s supposed to be slurping anyway.

That’s what all those Christianist appeals for money are about: they pay for rooms full of cheap labor tirelessly opening fresh jars of peanut butter, billions and billions of them, to prove that evolution is a fraud.

Makes you long for “the good ol’ days,” when the late Jerry Falwell’s fundraising appeals often included goodies like TEN 8″x10″ full-color glossies of “ungodly acts” that occurred in SF gay bathhouses during the Presidential Primaries. (Shipped in a discreet plain brown envelope!)

I’m becoming increasingly unhappy with the direction this thread is taking. Principal Blackman, For your information, I am holding Mark Noonan’s table together with My Divine Hand and said Hand could easily be removed from the chair holding your fat ass up. I’ve got a full plate here smiting grills,and my patience is wearing thin for smart-assed dinosaurs, whose arms I deliberately made too short to reach his penis, and who should know that the one true God would never forget to capitalize His own Name. Indeed.
And what held Moses together Jillian? Hmmm?

Hey God, aren’t you a little too busy dealing with a teeny tiny tiny teeny eenie-weenie tensy tiny little lawsuit to be trolling around here?

Punk.

Small, boring fact. Here in Australia, physalis (ground cherries) are called gooseberries. We don’t have real gooseberries at all. I can still remember my father-in-law saying “have some gooseberries” and me thinking “those so aren’t”.

Listen, Snowwy. I invented walking and chewing gum at the same time, so don’t try to tell me anything about multitasking.

And BTW, It’s proper fear of Me that makes a devout man check under the foil on the peanut butter jar, several times a night, in some cases.

The thought that occurred to me while watching the banana video was that the banana also fits pretty damn well into a monkey’s hand/paw/whatever. Coincidence- I think not.

That video made me hungry. And I’m all out of peanut butter 🙁

Satan put those seeds in that banana, and if you deny this obvious truth, you’re just turning your back on baby Jesus, like if He was crying, and needed his diaper changed, and you pretended not to hear it and went to the store instead, leaving him in his own soil. Exactly like that.

God apparently made the penis to fit into the human hand as well. He also located it conveniently just within the reach of one’s own arms or perfectly positioned to be taken into the mouth by a person on their knees.

Yes, but as he points out, when you open the magic Jesus Tab at the top of the banana, “the contents don’t squirt in your face”.

I.E. God hates bukkake! (Don’t we all)

The banana video has more gay per square inch than Pat Boone’s orange jacket!@

Dr. Zen — that’s interesting. Apparently we do the same thing here in NA. Not just with these faux gooseberries, but also currants (as in, ours usually aren’t).

As tomato season ends here in the northern hemisphere, I was thinking that I needed to move to Australia for part of the year to keep myself good tomats. I bought some perfect ones today, but there’s probably only another week of so of them that can be expected. As someone once wrote in the NY Times “I’d rather eat a pound of unwashed leek, than a tomato sold in NYC between October and June.”

you’re just turning your back on baby Jesus, like if He was crying, and needed his diaper changed, and you pretended not to hear it and went to the store instead, leaving him in his own soil. Exactly like that.

He’s 2000 years old; he can change his own smelly diaper now.

I was never much of a scientisicianist or interested in nuclearology or nothing, but let me figure this out: The fairy tale of the origins of life (which is, in fact, different than Darwinian evolution, which delt in the Origin of the Species — i.e. natural selection, not How Life Started In The Cosmic Peanut Butter) is obviously a retarded fantasy because God didn’t infect pastuerized peanut butter with spontaneously-generated monkeys?

I wish there wasn’t a God, so I could open up my Jif and have a monkey jump out. Or maybe even a Brazilian Supermodel.

If Jesus has to change his own diaper, the terrorists have won. And we’re all just dirty apes.

What if he’s got a bunch?.

What if God was one of us? Masturbating on a bus?

Why aren’t apples equipped w/ E-Z Peel™ skins?

Because, unlike bananas’, apple skins are good for you.

Why aren’t cows pre-cooked & peelable?

Because, unlike bananas and apples, cows aren’t good for you.

And actually, since in the Garden Of Eden Adam & Steve didn’t have to do any work for their food, why did Gawd leave the bred for easy consumption banana available?

So that Adam and Steve wouldn’t starve once Eve took a hike.

It’s nice to see that primordial peanut butter has replaced primordial ooze. Ooze is just so meh in the flava department.

Together with the banana one, I keep thinking about Elvis and his peanut butter and banana sandwiches.

And that’s also why God put His Holy Lard in those large, easy-to-handle white buckets, so we could fry up our peanut-butter-and-bannanner sammiches as The Good Book commands.

And if Elvis is God, then Jerry Lee Lewis is the Devil, which works out just fine.

I guess this proves intelligent design.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3H5hKZznc14

cur

WTF????? That’s supposed to be a devastating rebuttal to the theory of evolution – I hotwired a jar of peanut butter and nothing grew in it, therefore evolution is wrong? God, aren’t you embarrassed to have such idiotic followers?

Why aren’t apples equipped w/ E-Z Peel™ skins?

Because, unlike bananas’, apple skins are good for you.

Well, what about oranges? And why is okra such a pain in the ass cut off the stalk? Or field corn. Man, you ever picked field corn?

Excellent! A truly masterful argument presenting the best that Creation Science has to offer. I sincerely hope that you have already forwarded this brilliant presentation to the Discovery Institute and their Evolution News & Views blog. Surely such a wonderful work of Creation Science can be used to compliment their ‘intelligent design’ curriculum.

However, there are some rather difficult questions raised by this video that deserve some attention. For example, while the lack of post-peanutbutterian life may be a convincing argument that “life” cannot evolve from “non-life” [Although the heretical Darwinists are already calling this contention into question as well: Physicists Discover Inorganic Dust With Lifelike Qualities ], just imagine the ramifications if post-peanutbutterian life was an actual issue.

Sheer logic alone illustrates that if there was post-peanutbutterian life, then all people who have ever eaten peanut butter have been infected with the seeds of this evil life form. That is, all the Christian souls that had ever eaten peanut butter would have been defiled by the seeds of post-peanutbutterian life, their purity in the eyes of God lost. Since peanut butter remains one of the few foods that isn’t controlled by Jews and Muslims, plainly this is unacceptable. So, would it make me a “conspiracy theorist” to suggest that perhaps this video is meant to reassure true believers that peanut butter and the good Christians that produce it are NOT in the business of creating strange new ungodly life-forms? That is, that this video is in fact a clever advertising ploy by the peanut butter lobby?

[Sorry, I just wanted to make an argument on par with that in the video…:) ]

“so if we have not seen “new life” in peanut butter for 100 billion person-years, then there’s no way “new life” could come from non-life in 100 billion years of linear time?”

Oh, yeah? Then explain to me just where Mister Peanut comes from, Mr. Smart Guy…

I’d happily take decay-resistant teeth over e-z peel fruit skin.

(Elephants get several sets of teeth in their lifetime….esplain this favouritism peanut butter godz?)

Well, what about oranges?

Well, what about them? Actually, orange peel is useful, once it’s been scored and curled for a garnish, as on an alcoholic beverage that may include a maraschino cherry, or else minced up, to use in recipes. On the other hand, banana peels are useless except for flinging onto sidewalks to cause unsuspecting passersby to slip and fall.

And why is okra such a pain in the ass cut off the stalk?

Because okra is an abomination. Unless it’s fried, but then it’s bad for you.

Or field corn. Man, you ever picked field corn?

No, and I hope I never will.

“Hmmm…monkey flavored peanut butter”. – Homer Simpson

I think the Gavin and the others talking about plants just make up half the stuff they write about because they know none of us ignorant folks will call them on it. Gavin pushed it a little to far when he wrote, “datura, and all that sort of thing.” Datura? WTF? Isn’t that a MS Word font option?

Two can play at that game! I maintain that ground cherries are related to the Tasmanian melon rather than the gooseberry and edible gnoochies. I know this because the aldaberry is from the genus “Skancherium” rather than the “cresdendia” like the triveris. I got some triveris at the farmer’s market even though they normally aren’t available until October. I guess god designed these triveris differently and they definitely taste like peanut butter.

On the other hand, banana peels are useless except for flinging onto sidewalks to cause unsuspecting passersby to slip and fall.

Well, I have been told banana peels can be smoked, resulting in the smoker seeing all sorts of pretty colors. I can’t keep ’em lit, though.

Because okra is an abomination. Unless it’s fried, but then it’s bad for you.

Man, ain’t that the way it goes. It’s either an abomination or it’s bad for your health. Goddamn okra. My mother used to feed us boiled okra, and that was nasty. I ate so much boiled okra as a boy I never could keep my socks up.

Of course, he’s unable to see the millions of little live microbes happily living inside the jar of peanut butter.

But seriously, WTF? They’re disproving evolution by failing to disprove spontaneous generation?

Liberals, pay attention: the infighting must stop.

Bipartisan Compact on Iraq Debate

*DRAFT*

We agree that the U.S. Congress must end the political in-fighting over the conflict in Iraq and commit immediately to a truly bipartisan dialogue on the issues we are facing.

We agree that efforts to eliminate funding for U.S. forces engaged in combat and in harm’s way in Iraq would put at risk the safety and security of our service members.

We agree that there must be a clearly defined and measurable mission for our continued military involvement in Iraq. This mission must be further and continually defined so that the military and the country are aware of the end goal of our mission in Iraq and what progress toward that goal is being achieved.

We agree that the Government of Iraq must now be responsible for Iraq’s future course. The Government must continue to make progress on the legislative benchmarks outlined in Section 1314 of the recent Supplemental Appropriations Act (PL110-28).

We agree that it is critical for members of the U.S. Armed Forces, including members of the reserve components, to have adequate rest and recuperation periods between deployments.

We agree that a safe and responsible redeployment of U.S. Armed Forces from Iraq, based on recommendations from our military and foreign policy leaders, is necessary to transition the combat mission over to the Iraqi forces.

We agree that the continued military mission of U.S. combat forces must lead to a timely transition to conducting counterterrorism operations, protecting the U.S. Armed Forces, supporting and equipping Iraqi forces to take full responsibility for their own security, assisting refugees, and preventing genocide.

We agree that U.S. diplomatic efforts should continue to be improved and that the U.S. State Department must engage in robust diplomacy with Iraq’s neighbors in the Middle East to address the Iraq conflict.

Video: Tryphorgetin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdWqNEboJe4

In the 1920’s our country’s worst nightmare was born. Indeed, you’re living in blind unawareness if you do not understand the origins of the men who founded the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). They were all Communists. … those hokey opinions and notions such as God, country and family values; healthy decent moral standards that bestowed general health and wealth upon our nation are disrespected and mocked by the lofty liberal progressives.

Secular progressives feel nothing but contempt for our Judeo-Christian beliefs. …A prime example is the Left’s perversion of the English language. Our society is crude and belligerent partly because of the lowering of our moral standards in speech. …Let us not feel intimidated by groups such as the ACLU. They hardly represent the majority of Americans.

Roger Baldwin, the founder and first director of the ACLU, was a communist. He explains in his book “Liberty Under the Soviets,” why he was so enthralled with Communism. “I joined. I don’t regret being a part of the Communist tactic, which increased the effectiveness of a good cause. I knew what I was doing. I was not an innocent liberal. I wanted what the Communists wanted.”

The quotes by Baldwin and Browder sound eerily like Democrat presidential candidates vying for our 2008 votes. The Democrats been promising everything for fifty years as they rob Peter to pay Paul. Their schemes to overtax America’s “wealthy” will cost us dearly. ….

Socialistic programs such as National Health Care have proven to be a failed, sorry mess in Europe and Canada. ….A word to the wise (and the far Left): Please leave our private heath care alone.

Under Baldwin’s leadership the ACLU undertook some of its most famous cases, including the Scopes Monkey trial, which attempted to degrade the scriptural teaching of Christianity; i.e. the theory of primate evolution taught in our public schools today.

The ACLU and their progressive, secular lawyers are well-known for crucifying Christ afresh whenever they can…..The American Civil Liberties Union has no compunction when it comes to shoving Islam in our faces. They will “allow” Islamic prayers and foot basins (provided with our tax money) in our public schools, but not The Lord’s Prayer or Christmas trees.

As of late, the ACLU has protected the rights of molesting and murdering pedophiles known as The North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA). …

Of course, any sane American would be suspicious of such an act post 9/11. One would have to be totally naïve to believe that Raed Jarrar, who is a self proclaimed activist, did not know exactly what he was inciting. Still, this is not the central point; these willful acts are done purposefully in order to weaken our will and culturally subjugate America. If we do not put a stop to such transgressions, they will become the norm as we continue to fight the war against global terrorism.

They had me convinced until I remembered how “The Blob” came out of a can of frozen orange juice concentrate. There’s your counter-example right there.

http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/jon/070922

Marie Jon’, why is that fucking apostrophe at the end of your name? And why do you think you are real? I think you are a bot using some model’s pic. Fuck you and your wingnut welfare providers.

Cite your source, Fake Gary Ruppert Doppelgänger.

The real Gary Ruppert would never use ‘transition’ as a verb.

Let alone call for diplomacy with Iraq’s neighbors.

Make that robust diplomacy.

Dearest Fuck You,

Do it to yourself…laughing
Marie
Ps. Night , night

It was the “real” Marie Jon’ who provided the ACLU diatribe. Perhaps the other one came from Renew America as well.

Uh-oh. Marie Jon!@#$% is jealous, y’all. But she does have a point: if you’re gonna do it to yourself, might as well do it laughing.

Wait, that doesn’t make any sense.

Hey, she’s nice enough to stop by.

I think the Gavin and the others talking about plants just make up half the stuff they write about because they know none of us ignorant folks will call them on it. Gavin pushed it a little to far when he wrote, “datura, and all that sort of thing.” Datura? WTF? Isn’t that a MS Word font option?

Oh, no, you’re thinking of Verbena.

Gavin,
Well, she’s gotta get y’all’s attention somehow. Y’all’ve all moved on to new hotness like that McArdle, leaving poor Marie and her apostrophe out in cold. Can’t you just see her, sitting up nights, wondering when – if – y’all take her column, point and laugh, just like in the old days.

Next thing you know, she’ll be calling you at work and turning up out of the blue at your favorite bar. Hide yer rabbits, that’s my advice.

“Megan McArdle”, “Kristinn Taylor” – what is it with wingers and clown names?

Should read – “Megan McArdle”, ” Marie Jon’ “Kristinn Taylor” – what is it with wingers and clown names?

Thank you, Brad. You have raped my mind. I can’t think any more. I can’t remember who my parents are, or where i grew up. I have to have my drivers license (whatever the fuck THAT is) out at all times so I can simply remember what my sex is. That’s how badly this “peanut butter = god” video has ravaged my mind and soul.

I need to go play WoW. Or cry. I don’t know. Any hope I had left in the human race is gone. Maybe I’ll just…wander the streets in a bra and boxers or something… I don’t know…. glorp.

The ACLU and their progressive, secular lawyers are well-known for crucifying Christ afresh whenever they can

I am envisioning a horrific scene – hordes of blue gabardine suited lawyers, circling the BMWs around the parking lot of Golgotha, their shined tasselled loafers propelling them up the gritty path, bearing aloft the huge and loathsome timbers of that instrument of torture, the Cross, driving home the spikes in the palms of Christ’s hands, using their cordova briefcases as mallets, as they await the time for the filing of briefs in godless custody, personal liability, and copyright infringement cases in Department Q, room 213 of the Los Angeles County Superior court.

It chills the soul.

Any hope I had left in the human race is gone. Maybe I’ll just…wander the streets in a bra and boxers or something… I don’t know…. glorp..

Don’t worry, it happens all the time. Usually after watching something by Jerry Warren or Harold P. Warren or by Coleman “My Last Name’s Not ‘Warren’ But It Might As Well Be” Francis.

Wow.

No.

Holy SHIT!

Umm.

What happens, exactly, when Meta mates with Surreal?

mikey

The Simple Son asks: How can anything be more stupid, and proudly so, than the Banana Video?

You shall tell him: Anything that uses opening a jar of peanut butter to disprove evolution is more stupid than the Banana Video.

Of course we all have our favorite parts of it, but mine–call me old fashioned–is when the “engineer” says we’ve been doing these experiments “for a hundred years.” The human mind cannot conceive of anything lasting longer or being more definitive than a hundred years.

I want to meet the people, or the one schmuck, who is newly convinced by this video. I want to mee the one person in six billion who says, “You know,
I never thought of it like that! Evolution IS bullshit!”

Let me tell you, I know this is probably way too much information. But among all the other things I do to earn my paycheck, I am connected with the operation of a parking lot that happens to be adjacent to a Los Angeles County courthouse (yes, mario, I’m sure you know which one) and is used by all the lawyers, jurors, and judges that toil there.

And one of the more portentious events that occurred recently was the time that the courthouse sewer backed up, and spewed a river of murky water and wisps of tissue into our parking lot, where it streamed across the asphalt, past the solar port and car-pool spaces, down the lanes of traffic until it encountered a slopes culvert and ran off into the storm sewer, bound for the sandy beaches and bay.

The Hazmat guys were called, and got there quickly enough, but before they arrived, we stationed staff to help mark the path so that pedestrians would be able to avoid the contamination. Typically, the lawyers were too impatien to take the indirect route. The sight of lawyers, male and female, in power suits and pant-suits alike, tipitoeing through the flowing rivulets of shit fthat streamed past their parked BMWs and Lexus(es), was very amusing.

The Waters of Justice that flow down are often quite filthy.

On a serious note, Darwin’s evolution theory is on the “origin of species”, not on the “origin of life”. This often gets confused by people smarter than those in the videos. Speciation (evolution of one species from another) has in fact been observed during our tiny window of human existence.

The story with the origin of life is much murkier and there is a growing sentiment among scientists that it came from space.

Generally Christianity has had problem with Evolotion and not with Origin Of Life, since the Bible says God created this and that on this and that day, with Man being the cherry on top, and there are no mentions of progenitor apes, etc.

However, it benefits them to confuse the two issues now, since evolution is so well supported by the fossil, biochemical and genetic data, while origin of life is still a very iffy area…

OT: Dear President G. W. Bush,
You will always have my full unconditional support in anything you contemplate, however, I need a little bit of clarification on a particular issue of current importance: Why do we need to bomb Iran if there are no homosexuals there?

Looking forward to your illuminating answer.

Sincerely,

Concerned Citizen

g–

Do you mean downtown? Off Hill or whatever? The What’s His Name building in the heart of downtown? I answered the summons for jury duty some months ago and was down there. It’s a teeming city in itself, the courthouse area.

People who hate the ACLU are great examples of the “free speech is great as long as I agree with it” crowd. The ACLU consistently fights for civil liberties regardless of the politics of the people involved. Opposing the fight for civil liberties is about as un-American as you can get.

This recent MoveOn kerfluffle along with the reaction to Ahmadinejad has really depressed me. After 9/11 the media was going to change, then again after the Iraq War, then again after Katrina. Yet it’s the same stupid shit non-stop.

It’s pretty sad that Ahmadinejad has come of as smarter than 95% of his detractors.

What is it with engineers and creationism?

I’m actually more angry with Brad for introducing me to Gregg Easterbrook. I had heard his name mentioned before as someone who was not on the high end of the IQ scale, but that could not prepare me for the full force of his stupid. Every single one of his articles could be shortened to “Sure, scientists have discovered something that tells us more about how the universe works, BUT WHUT ABOUT TEH JESUS LOLOLOLOLOL?!?!!!!11!” I’m also fairly sure he’s a sportswriter, and judging by his article “Soccer is NOT Morally Superior”, he sucks untold amounts of ass at that too.

Mr. wonderful, no my palace of justice is by the Sea.

You know, I’ve always assumed that MJ’s apostrophe was suppressing a long eastern European ending. Jonkiewicz, e.g.

First off, I’d like to commend the fine people of S,N! for reaching triple digits in comments without the assistance of a troll.
Second, this scares me. Eventually this stupidity is going to reach infinite density, and collapse in on itself, and then the Earth will be sucked into a black hole.
I, for one, do not want to share a singularity with these folk. Normal space is too close as is.

Well, I’m convinced.

Now that evolution has been conclusively debunked, it’s high time that we began facing up to the fact that all the fol-de-rol about the Earth being round is just a load of ACLU-inspired hooey designed to keep us dizzy and disoriented while swarthy islamofascists steal our barbecue grills.

Well if the world was truly round no matter what direction you walked in you’d be going downhill. That isn’t the case so the world must not be round – in fact it is shaped like a planar piece of corrugated cardboard.

It’s really too bad that in his remarks about the Holocaust Ahmadinejad didn’t say that we should “teach the controversy.” That would have been just awesome.

Krassen, the number of things wrong in that video could kill a mutant squid. Hence my aforementioned cross-dressed midnight ambiguous stroll through the lonely streets.

Me, yesterday: “Nothing could be dumber than Pat Boone saying the NEA is responsible for lesbianism.”

Me, this morning: “I was wrong. That fool who believed the photoshopped picture of war protesters is dumber. But nothing could be dumber than that.”

Me, now: “I was wrong. Those guys saying a jar of Jiff disproves evolution is dumber. But nothing could be dumber than that.”

Me, tomorrow: ? ? ? ? ?

Notorious: it hardly bears thinking about *shudder*…

Whoa….it just grows and grows…..

Oh, I finally posted the video of “The Idiot Stone”, the Ybor City, Tampa paving stone which reads “Evolution: The Opiate of the Uninformed”. People in comments here had asked about it. The video shows where it is in Ybor for those who asked. Next time I see it I’ll dump some peanut butter on it and do a time-lapse project perhaps…LOL.

Me, yesterday: “Nothing could be dumber than Pat Boone saying the NEA is responsible for lesbianism.”

Me, this morning: “I was wrong. That fool who believed the photoshopped picture of war protesters is dumber. But nothing could be dumber than that.”

Me, now: “I was wrong. Those guys saying a jar of Jiff disproves evolution is dumber. But nothing could be dumber than that.”

Me, tomorrow: ? ? ? ? ?

There you have it… the wingnuts have finally successfully undermined the credibility of the theory of evolution by presenting themselves as irrefutable evidence of human de-evolution.

Darwin was wrong, Devo was right.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nIlFsERnmk
It helps. Trust me. Immersion therapy.

Oh, they’re what you call ground cherries. Not related to gooseberries in any meaningful way (they’re Solanaceae, like tomatoes, while gooseberries are in the currant family or something), but ‘cape gooseberry’ is one of the common names for them, like ‘garden huckleberry’ is a name for one of the edible nightshades.

I would just like to note that Gavin is making me totally hot. All my partner knows about plants is that the greeny bits of trees go in the air and the brown bits are on the ground. Anyone who can discuss Solanaceae earns my undying respect and lust.

If gluons aren’t the answer… what is?

Hep cats call this aspect of God the residual strong force.

Anyone who can discuss Solanaceae earns my undying respect and lust.

The Solanaceae is a family of flowering plants, many of which are edible, while others are poisonous (some have both edible and toxic parts). The name of the family comes from the Latin Solanum “the nightshade plant”, but the further etymology of that word is unclear; it has been suggested it originates from the Latin verb solari, meaning “to soothe”. This would presumably refer to alleged soothing pharmacological properties of some of the psychoactive species found in the family. It is more likely, however, that the name comes from the perceived resemblance that some of the flowers bear to the sun and its rays, and in fact a species of Solanum (Solanum nigrum) is known as the sunberry.

*suggestive wink*

Auguste, you copied that from wikipedia, ‘fess up.

Peanut butter doesn’t spontaneously bring forth new life = EVILUTION IS WRONG

I am now going to scream incoherently.

Isn’t it too bad they didn’t get some of this p’nut butter made by honest to Gawd jeesussites….

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/01/AR2007030101603.html

Not only their heads would have exploded.

As of late, the ACLU has protected the rights of molesting and murdering pedophiles known as The North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA). …

Gee, Ruppert, then you of all people should be the ACLU’s strongest supporter:

http://thumbsnap.com/v/DD4cql02.jpg

I think you find new life in the Peter Pan jars all the time…

Random Observer said: “Well if the world was truly round no matter what direction you walked in you’d be going downhill. That isn’t the case so the world must not be round”

Well reaaly – or really if you prefer. Since the world is supposed to be thickest in the middle – although I have seen no independent verification of this – then people in the Northern hemisphere, would be walking uphill when they walk south while people in the southern hemisphere would be walking uphill when they walk North. Downhill would be vice versa, hemispherically.

But I supppose that if you walk east or west it would be all flat, disregarding any actual hills, of course.

If you placed a few thousand world-sized globs of peanut butter lying around for a couple of billion years, there’s a good chance that life would start to exist on at least one or two of them. We should suggest that they do that experiment. Of course, the creationists would claim contamination or divine intervention, so the experiment would do no good at all. You can’t prove someone wrong when they reject the basic methods of science and logic.

Gavin already pointed out the Why behind the above-displayed Crazy:

potato, nightshade, tobacco, eggplant, datura

This is a favorite creationist salad recipe.

Isn’t datura a vital ingredient in zombie creation?

If you placed a few thousand world-sized globs of peanut butter lying around for a couple of billion years, there’s a good chance that life would start to exist on at least one or two of them

Creamy or chunky?

Disinterested Observer: I think, having seen that video, we all know now exactly where the Earth is thickest,

Isn’t datura a vital ingredient in zombie creation?

It’s one of the candidates, yeah. The berries of D. stramonium contain both atropine (also the active compound in the more famous belladonna) and scopolamine (sp), which are anticholinergics–meaning that, among other things, datura could be used to induce a paralyzed, death-like state by blocking nerve signals to your muscles.

This has been brought to you by my now four-year-old college class on plants in medicine, magic, and murder.

Sounds like an interesting class, Robert M. A lot more interesting than any I’m taking this semester, alas.

Nimrod Gently said
Disinterested Observer: I think, having seen that video, we all know now exactly where the Earth is thickest,

Yes.

Another solanacae is the ornamental plant Brugmansia, sometimes called Angel’s Trumpet. These are widely cultivated in Southern California gardens. They have huge, hanging trumpet-shaped flowers that emit an intense scent in the evening.

This has been brought to you by my now four-year-old college class on plants in medicine, magic, and murder.

I once looked at a transcript from some South African bible college that had a course called “Evil and Suffering”. The student received an A.

Creamy or chunky?

I would think chunky would be giving the peanut butter an unfair head start.

This thread is making me want to dig out my Hawthorne and read Rappaccini’s Daughter.

The sight of lawyers, male and female, in power suits and pant-suits alike, tipitoeing through the flowing rivulets of shit fthat streamed past their parked BMWs and Lexus(es), was very amusing.

See, that right there is your ammunition if you’re fighting about the existence of some kind of supreme being.
That’s DU there, that is.

You can’t prove someone wrong when they reject the basic methods of science and logic.

Maybe not, but you can have a hell of a good time laughing at them.

I, for one, heartily encourage the efforts of our rationality-impaired brethren.

Candy–

That’s your solution to everything.

By the way, do any of the peanut butter companies guarantee the safety of their jarred peanut butter containers literally forever?

I mean, I just looked at my Peter Pan creamy peanut butter jar, and there was an “expiration date”, which I don’t understand given that God’s love was proof that non-peanut butter can’t arise from peanut butter.

I mean, I just looked at my Peter Pan creamy peanut butter jar, and there was an “expiration date”, which I don’t understand given that God’s love was proof that non-peanut butter can’t arise from peanut butter.

El_Cid, clearly this is just a conspiracy of “food safety” scientists trying to undermine God’s message of boundless love and untainted foodstuffs. I can think of no other explanation.

El_Cid, clearly this is just a conspiracy of “food safety” scientists trying to undermine God’s message of boundless love and untainted foodstuffs. I can think of no other explanation.

But… but… but the nice creationist man in the video just told me that the entire food industry lives by the rules that non-peanut butter cannot arise from peanut butter, and that this is what Keeps Us Safe.

How can the whole food industry live by God’s holy canning philosophy on the one hand and yet have its labels subverted by non-creationite spontaneous non-peanut butterists?

Scienticians are an insidious lot, El_Cid. Companies try to increase diversity by bringing in non-creationites, and look how they’re rewarded.

Also, apart from non-life just erupting into life, there is apparently considerable risk that an ant will walk across your food, spreading a terrible creeping fungus in its path. This is actually ok though, as God created both the fungus and the ant. Since God created them, neither will harm you. As a human, you have dominion over [etc. etc.] .

Isn’t datura a vital ingredient in zombie creation?

Actually, it can turn men into monkeys, proving devolution. Don’t believe me? See here and note the Jamestown reference.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Datura_stramonium

You know, people are always saying that God has a sense of humor. I think the peanut butter video effectively debunks that theory. I mean, if God really had a sense of humor, he would have made sure that when the Creationist opened the jar of peanut butter, polka-dotted snakes jumped out and sunk their fangs into his face.

The fact that polka-dotted snakes did not jump out of the guy’s jar of peanut butter pretty much conclusively proves that God does not exist at all, IMHO.

I think he’s definately skewing the results of this experiment by performing it with peanut butter instead of some more powerful primordial substance like Marmite.

If anything can be the source of spontaneous generation of new life, it’d be Marmite.

Rufus, God’s sense of humor is more subtle than that: in fact, there was a tiny new life form in that very jar, and there is one in every jar opened by a creationist. Only those who believe in abiogenesis get plain old peanut butter. Wotta bastard!

Marmite! That strange, gloopy, brown yeasty stuff that’s surprisingly tasty in minute quantities*, and utterly gack-making if spread thickly.

What makes it even better is that, in the supermarket, it’s stocked near the 69-cent packets of cock-flavored soup (I shit thee not)**.

* One jar equaling approximately 10,000 servings. I’m quite obviously a Yank.
** Fear not, this soup is actually 100% vegetarian. Strange.

I swear, when they switched to that shot of the jelly and peanut butter aisle while discussing the origins of life it was one of the weirdest moments I’ve ever experienced. It was like being mid-conversation with someone and watching them shit into their hand and rub it on their face while calmly speaking the lyrics to “Mama Said Knock You Out.” I felt like I needed to run away from my computer.

It’s pretty awesome that their belief system is reinforced by literally EVERY OBJECT THEY ENCOUNTER. I need to get me some of that for my beliefs. “How do I know Social Security will remain solvent for centuries? Well, take a look at these anal beads. Do they talk? I don’t hear anything. You see, the anal beads have absolutely no command of English. If Social Security were going bankrupt, don’t you think the anal beads would recite some poetry or at least tell me what time it was? These things are a libertarian’s worst nightmare!”

Can we make it Nutella please? I want something yummy after I finish all my scientificatin’.

Maybe they could do an experiment on the new different colored catsups – you know the green and blue kind? No way life can thrive inside that.

Am I right in thinking that chimps open bananas from the end, by squeezing them? Obviously, they’re just unaware of God’s plan for the ‘nana.

Can we make it Nutella please? I want something yummy after I finish all my scientificatin’.

You have got to be kidding me. It has been scientifically proven that peanut butter is 2.54 times yummier than that bizarre hazelnut stuff.

It has been scientifically proven that peanut butter is 2.54 times yummier than that bizarre hazelnut stuff.

I have 40 years of ammunition stored up for people like you.

Anyone posted this yet?

[…] Wow, I thought I had seen crazy but something even more crazy always comes along.  Go here (which I found here) to see a creationist argue that evolution is wrong because we have not […]

Hey… we could get some of these tiny little monkeys, put them in peanut butter jars and mail them to everyone in this video. Do you think that would turn them into evil godless Darwinists?

Oh, what the hell am I thinking about? These guys are GREAT as Creationists, I guess we should leave well enough alone.

God made Nutella.

(Okay, the Italians did. Close enough.)

3 questions for this guy:

1. What about Penicillin?
2. Are you out of your fucking mind completely?

3. Evolution is a fairy tale, but God starting the Universe with the Clapper, that’s all perfectly reasonable?

Seriously, how do they function?

I’m typically not a monkey fan but OH MY GOD *squeeee*!

Translation:

“This jar of peanut butter is smarter than me.”

Glurg. Not be all high-falutin’ with my fitty-cent words, but “abiogenesis” and “evolution” are just, slightly, ever-so-delicately completely fucking different concepts.

Ahem.

** Science! Boo! ** Ha ha, made you pee in your cassock.

Ehm… Even if the argument was correct in some way (the fuck, it was made without those egregious errors in 1688) does not occur to them that maybe, just maybe, disproving spontaneous generation does not harm evolution? As in, “of course evolution does not say that life appears on its own inside a jar of peanut butter. If life is poof-based, why do you need parents to descend from?”.

Are you really sure it is not from the onion? Nobody could be so stupid…

tigrismus: Assuming you are referring to the tinny tiny little monkeys I posted a photo of, you’re right, they’re cutest damn things ever…

they’re cutest damn things ever…

I woke up and they’d made me a new pair of shoes.

I woke up and they’d made me a new pair of shoes.

The kind with velcro?

Love those…

mikey

Cute as tiny fuzzy buttons AND they make shoes?!! HOLY CRAP, I’m gonna start buying peanut butter again!

my god that easterbrook article is obnoxious. For one he mis-represents “intelligent design” theory. For two, this seems to be his best defense for teaching it: “The intelligent design theory may or may not be correct, but it’s a rich, absorbing hypothesis”

That has nothing to do with science you fucking idiot. Shouldn’t be a surprise that only the WSJ published your bullshit.

Entirely – hell, obscenely – too cute. Now why isn’t GreenPeace using these little guys to campaign to save whatever rain forest these little monkeys come from? Talk about a critter that only a oil company CEO or a Republican could hate…. The Earth creates the best propaganda – like the cutest little monkeys imaginable – to argue for her survival.

Not to mention they would seriously freak out the guy opening the peanut butter jar.

Hmmm….we went from BANANAS to PEANUT BUTTER!

That says one thing and one thing only, to me:

ELVIS IS STILL ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!

Obviously this man has never owned a truly OLD jar of peanut butter (which, as a somewhat absentminded housekeeper, I will admit I have).

A few months ago I opened a jar that had been sitting on my shelf since the Clinton administration. Needless to say it tasted NAS-TY.

So SOMETHING developed in that jar that wrecked the taste, right?

Which, of course, leads me to post one of my favorite videos from youtube. Alas, I cannot recommend it completely wholeheartedly, because of some unfortunate prison rape jokes, which no one – not even Kent Hovind – deserves.

Great, now I can’t get that tune out my head……………

“Life from non-life, apart from God’s intervention, is a fairy tale.”

{(Chris Elliot Falsetto, Sotto Voce)}:

I think some-body’s pro-jecting!

I want a creationist, er, intelligent designerist, to explain to me why our perfect god-dude father figure created us with throats that would allow us to accidentally swallow food into our wind pipe and choke to death at any moment. I guess it must have been cuz He wanted to keep us worried about when He might smite and destroy us despite His perfect, omniscient, forgiving, LOVE for us.

I’m betting that Yahweh is a nickname for an abusive alcoholic dad in Babylon.