He Still Treasures His Award Ribbon For Being A “Participant”
Matt Barber is a Concerned Woman for America, and he has good news for you about homosexuality.
Above (r): Barber
…wait, that didn’t sound right. Let’s try that again.
Matt Barber is a member of Concerned Women for America, and he has good news for you about homosexuality.
….still not right.
Matt Barber is a member of Concerned Women for America, and he’s going to make up some fatuous shit about homosexuality in order to justify his own peculiar obsession with other people’s sex lives. See for yourselves:
Groundbreaking study affirms “gays” can change
Ask any one of the untold thousands of men and women who have left the homosexual lifestyle, and they’ll say, “Tell us something we didn’t already know.”
Really, Matt? Untold thousands? Would you have any idea how we could get in touch with, say, one thousand of these ex-gays? Because it doesn’t seem like Exodus International, the folks behind this study, are going to be of much use in helping us verify this claim. Maybe a phone tree, or a list of email addresses, or something? Please, feel free to forward it on to us if you ever find it.
Nonetheless, psychologists Mark A. Yarhouse and Stanton L. Jones may have just hammered the final nail in the mythical “born ‘gay’ and stuck that way,” coffin.
In a first of its kind, comprehensive study, Yarhouse and Jones determined over a four year period that men and women suffering from unwanted same-sex attractions can re-“orient” themselves through Christian counseling and/or reparative therapy to their natural and God-given heterosexual state.
Wow! This IS news! They have found a method for turning gay people into straight people! This must be something new and revolutionary, because everything that’s been tried before has been…
In fact, the study, which was commissioned by Exodus International, the world’s largest organization ministering to people suffering from unwanted same-sex desires, determined that change is not only possible, it is very unlikely to produce harm, a fiction homosexual activists have maintained for years.
Oh, wait. It’s not new; it’s the same old shit you incontinent jackanapes have been peddling for years now. Might as well take the time to see what the results you’re claiming for Exodus look like this time…..
The study followed 98 men and women from between a three- to four-year period who self-identified as homosexual. Baptist Press summarized the study’s results as follows:
“15 percent reported their conversion was successful and that they had had ‘substantial reduction’ in homosexual attraction and ‘substantial conversion’ to heterosexual attraction. They were categorized as ‘success: conversion.’
“23 percent said their conversion was successful and that homosexual attraction was either missing or ‘present only incidentally or in a way that does not seem to bring about distress.’ They were labeled ‘success: chastity.’
“29 percent had experienced ‘modest decreases’ in homosexual attraction and were not satisfied with their change, but pledged to continue trying. This category was labeled ‘continuing.’
“15 percent had not changed and were conflicted about what to do next.
“4 percent had not changed and had quit the change process, but had not embraced the gay identity;'” and,
“8 percent had not changed, had quit the process and had embraced the ‘gay identity.'”
Hmmm…..I think I’m missing something here. Fifteen percent of the study participants went from thinking of themselves as “gay” to thinking of themselves as “bisexual”, twenty-three percent of the participants went from thinking of themselves as “gay” to thinking of themselves as “gay but not getting any”, and twenty-nine percent went from “gay” to “well, okay, so I’m gay,but at least I’m not enough of a slut to cruise guys in public restrooms”. The remainder – almost a third – went from “gay” to…..”still gay”.
I’m still looking at these stats for the percentage of people who went from “gay” to “straight”. If I’ve done the math right, the total number of such people found in this groundbreaking study is…..none.
This IS a groundbreaking study, Matt! It conclusively proves that no matter what the numbers actually say, dingleberry public scolds like you will always read into them whatever they want to!
In fact, just about everything done by conservatives over the last couple of decades makes total sense in this light! “Less than a third of the people in Iraq actively loathe us; this means the war for hearts and minds is a complete success!” “The only countries in the world with lower infant mortality rates than ours are every single other wealthy industrialized nation in the world; therefore our health care system totally pwns everybody else’s!” “Under NCLB legislation, grade-level literacy rates have climbed from about a third to STILL about a third; what more could you possibly ask for?”
When your respect for the truth and your concern with basic accuracy are as low as the standards that have been set by our leaders lately, you really can define anything as “success”.
These bitches can embrace my “gay identity”.
Right after they kiss my green, scaly ass.
Well, by these standards, TRex, if you haven’t had gay sex in the last day or two, you are now “cured” and therefore straight. Go figure!
I always wonder why that doesn’t work the other way….I haven’t so much as been on a date with a guy in quite a while – I suppose that makes me a lesbian now?
Matt Barber is a member
… that’s really all that needs be said.
Well, by these standards, TRex, if you haven’t had gay sex in the last day or two, you are now “cured” and therefore straight. Go figure!
Oh. Well, then, I’ve been straight for at least two weeks! Hurrah! Call Exodus! I’m CUUUURED!!!
(but I have high hopes for a relapse this weekend…)
The study followed 98 men and women
…everywhere. Fuckin’ a, how could ANYBODY get it on with these Gladys Kravitzes shadowing them?
Observer bias, and all.
If you consider that your average Christian believes that a woman can go from being pregnant to being a virgin, then anything can seem possible.
“The study followed 98 men and women”
Even into … public bathroom stalls?
tap tap tap
Just how many conservatives are there that find their own heterosexuality a “lifestyle choice”?
genius, Jillian. I was laughing so hard by “If I’ve done the math right, the total number of such people found in this groundbreaking study is…..none.” I had to take a breather.
Hey. Wait a second.
What’s a dude doing speaking for a group called “Concerned Women For America”? They couldn’t find any actual, y’know, women in the group of “Concerned Women For America” to the regurgitate this babble?
That’s weird, man.
Maybe (s)he’s a pre-op transsexual? It’s not ‘gay’ if it’s who you are, right?
Hmm, this is interesting.
I asked 98 women to sleep with me.
15% said they had to wash their hair.
23% said they’d rather stick number two pencils in their eyes
29% said they already had a boyfriend
15% told me to give them my number, they’d call some day
4% said they were gay
8% agreed to do me, but most were frighteningly ugly
Hey, lookit that!! I’m a freakin STUD!!
mikey
So who is this “gay identity” who’s been embraced by 8% of the participants? Prurient minds wish to know.
Ladies never kiss and tell, Herr Doktor.
’success: chastity’
Never thought I’d see that on the internets.
And I love the way he puts scare quotes around ‘gay identity’ depending on which stats he’s quoting.
Herr Doktor,
Maybe the “gay identity” is what you have to embrace before you can be told what the “gay agenda” actually is. And maybe then you get a “gay tote bag” with a “gay instruction booklet” and an array of “gay equipment” to help you spread the “gay agenda” and “bring down Traditional Family Values” like not being gay, for one.. Or something. I never have figured out what gay people are supposed to be doing in the Les Miserables-esque meetings wingnuts think they have.
Any blog post that talks about “hammering the final nail into the coffin” surely involves Gary Ruppert somewhere behind the scenes.
their natural and God-given heterosexual state.
That’s Utah, right?
If this is true, then it must also be true that heterosexuals can become homosexuals (if I want!) A relationship with a woman would have its advantages.
Sign me up, but it must be real. I don’t want to find myself in bed with someone pretending I’m turned on. I would be crushed by the disappointment.
In other words, I demand a 100% guarantee or double my money back.
Does it take a legendary hammer to pound a nail into a mythical coffin? Or is that just an excuse for banging your thumb with a hammer?
Vorpal.
Mostly, it involves scrap-booking, followed a lively discussion about how best to redecorate the room.
Couldn’t the participants at least have waited for the survey person to leave before embracing the gay identity? I mean, really. How rude.
“Fat, drunk, stupid, and closeted is no way to go through life, son.”
“J. Matt Barber.” What’s the J for? Jenius?
Boy, Matt must REALLY be gay.
Memo to Teh Left:
If you keep pointing at that 9/16/07, sure, it will look poignant and meaningful for a while, but eventually? Eventually it’s gonna look grasping and bitter, and it’s going to represent you poorly and inauthentically, but by then you’ll have drunk yourself to death in the gutter in Montevideo (I was payin attention) and will miss the tribute, and everybody will slink away with a tacit, unspoken agreement to never mention the whole norbizness thing again.
And that would be wrong….
mikey
100 people? 100 people?!? That’s the sort of lazy, sloppy statistical research that gets you a C on your HS science fair project.
That’s about the equivalent of picking out five M&Ms from the bag, and decreeing that M&Ms consist of 60% green, 40% yellow, and no other colors.
And it’s the reason why you “it’s a choice” nutbags are fucking jokes.
Plus, given that these fags were saved by “Christian” programs, would that imply that non-Christian fags are just SOL? I’m guessing the answer is “probably”.
Ugh. So annoyed by bad science; can’t make funny work in head.
Matt Barber is a shriveled, deformed member… that’s really all that needs be said.
Fixed.
What’s a dude doing speaking for a group called “Concerned Women For America”? They couldn’t find any actual, y’know, women in the group of “Concerned Women For America” to the regurgitate this babble?
Oh, Matt, if men like Barber let “their women” speak for *themselves*, how would he ensure those women were “concerned” only over the proper topics and to an appropriate degree?
Jillian, I think Barber is obsessed with the Rising Tide of Gay Identity because every woman he hits on recently has announced that she’s a lesbian. And that includes the ones who responded to his personals soliciting “good Christian women who want a long-term relationship.” His court-mandated therapist suggested that using George Clooney’s headshot might have been… overreaching, just a tad… but surely a good Christian woman would be guided by Jesus to see beyond the sweaty, shifty-eyed, unibrowed, moonfaced facade to the truth of the studly CWA Spokesmodel within! Ergo, those crafty homosexualists are putting something in the water, or the Starbucks coffee, to turn all these women into Jehovah-condemned same-sexuals, right?
He only prays that Exodus-for-the-Rest-of-Us can turn the lavender tide before he’s too old to breed his own quiverful!
So I’m trying to examine my most basic political beliefs, trying to figure out a way to determine the right path, on an absolute scale. And then there’s this.
On one side, there’s the like of the malkin thing, coulter, grogan, jon’.
On the other side, there’s Jillian, Anne Laurie and Djur.
Never mind. I think I know where teh good is…
mikey
The bulwarks of our civilization are the United States in the physcial sphere, and Judeo-Christianity in the spiritual sphere. This is why the left continually attacks all three – America, Judaism and Christianity: the left knows that if they can’t beat us to the ground, then the left simply can’t win. In light of this, being anti-American, anti-Israel and anti-Christian is just natural – the left is attacking their prime enemy. We can’t make the lepard change his spots – but we can recognise him for what he is. But you can make a gay lepard change his spots. There is no sense anymore in trying to pretend that water of our civilization can co-exist with the oil of leftism; cooperation is out, battle is in.
Get ready for a long fight.
No, no, no. It’s Mjolnir. I understand that Master Chief swears by it…
What’s a dude doing speaking for a group called “Concerned Women For America”?
The CWA are lucky that Matt Barber can actually find time to speak on their behalf, what with all his other roles and responsibilities, like being spokesman for “Organic Farmers for Astroturf”.
Does it take a legendary hammer to pound a nail into a mythical coffin?
The hammer is Charles Martel, and the coffin is that of Mohammed, suspended between earth and heaven. That’s my theory. It is a theory, and a good one, and it is mine.
OK, I’ll go back to pounding my thumb now. No, that is not a euphemism.
At first I thought this study was bullshit, but then I noticed how CREDIBLE the psychologist’s names sounded. I think it’s because he included their middle initials. I mean they sound so … official.
Would making a gay lepard (sic) change his spots be anything like making Gary Ruppert use spellcheck and take a basic English grammar course?
“Get ready for a long fight.”
Considering our track record, I like our chances. I would recommend you guys try for one of the Floridian military bases to commit treason against this time. No one gives a shit about Florida, and the ass-handing will take longer to dole out to you. Also, if you have any un-replaceables in Atlanta, you might want to consider a Swiss bank account to relocate them into.
On the plus side, we can go ahead and leave N.O. in ruins for the time being; that’ll just save us some time and effort.
I’m still thinking about those ‘untold’ thousands. Do you think there is a reason they are untold?
Who is getting into these people’s heads if they are not telling anything to anyone?
Are these thousands of people who simply have not been told that they are not gay, so they just don’t know it?
If they are untold, how does Matt Barber know about them? Where and with whom has he been?
I love the use of “Concerned.”
Are there any Unconcerned Women for America out there? Can I have their number? Can I be their…I don’t know…house boy? I mean, spokesperson?
I mean, by definition, they don’t care. But I do!
if there are “untold thousands,” how come the study could only follow 100 people?
also, did they follow those 100 all at once, or one at a time?
no, but it takes a heap of livin’ to make a house a home.
also, you can only get a poetic license issued by a poetic justice.
Skippy~
Clearly those 100 people TOLD. Ergo, they could no longer be counted among the UNTOLD. Sorry, man.
Now, for another vodka/rocks. And yes, vodka does rock. 🙂
Be G the fire, I’ll be the yielding water.
I’m confused – are “lepard spots” gay? Never known a cat to go to church, so are they all gay too, or is it just plain black cats with those clean, white “socks”? A roadmap, as it were to the “untold thousands”…
Micah, I can’t speak for any other cats, but me and Princess Luschka (Burmese, of course, like all incredibly spoilt felines) had our girly bits removed when we wuz kitties, so we can’t be said to have any sexual urges, alas.
Mind you, at least we’ve got an excuse for not getting a leg over, unlike Teh Serving Wench…
Anyway, I prefer the Terry Pratchett version: the leopard cannot change his shorts.
The most telling aspect of this “study” (it’s science!) is that “success” is described generally, as not getting any ass.
I know alot of successful conservatives.
Get ready for a long fight.
Careful, Ruppert. You might violate your probation.
http://thumbsnap.com/v/DD4cql02.jpg
“15 percent reported their conversion was successful and that they had had ’substantial reduction’ in homosexual attraction and ’substantial conversion’ to heterosexual attraction. They were categorized as ’success: conversion.’
OK, so even if you count that 15% as “completely and totally cured”, do these people not realize that a 15% sucess rate is piss-poor?
I mean, even if you threw in the “23% partial success” BS, you only have a 38% sucess rate. That’s pathetic.
“Yarhouse and Jones”
Oooh, I saw them back in the 70’s. They opened for Seals and Croft.
Or maybe it was Hall and Oates? The Captain and Tinelle?
We can’t make the lepard change his spots – but we can recognise him for what he is. But you can make a gay lepard change his spots.
*SWOON*
There is no sense anymore
You just hit the proverbial hammer on its mythical head, my friend.
Jesus, hit the hammer on the head? And I’m sober! WTF!!
their natural and God-given heterosexual state. …That’s Utah, right?
This is The Place, all right. I don’t know what our official Heterosexuality Rate is, but I’m sure that, if asked, there are plenty of Utah government people who’d angrily assure you it’s 100%.
Hell, in some of the communities along the Arizona border it’s probably over 100%.
I think they lost a few people in the process of the survey, the numbers they claim only add up to 94%.
So even if you take the most optimistic view of the data, you find that only 38% of people were “cured” in a 3- to 4-year period.
Now here’s one of the many catches: This isn’t a random sample of gay people. This is a sample of gay people who are strongly motivated to undergo three or four years of whatever the “treatment” is. It’s very rare to find people who are willing to endure *any* treatment for that length of time, so these people are very, very unusual indeed.
One of the smarter comments on this topic came from John Derbyshire, of all people, who wrote:
That seems about right to me. Sure, you might be able to get a few people to “convert,” but that’s not evidence of a general rule.
I think they lost a few people in the process of the survey, the numbers they claim only add up to 94%.
They were in the bathroom.
It’s been said before but bears repeating. People like Matt think about gay sex more than gay men do.
If a gay lepard can change his spots, what can a def leppard change?
Do the Exodus people get prizes when they “convert” someone? The way we get toaster ovens whenever we recruit someone into the homosexual lifestyle?
If a gay lepard can change his spots, what can a def leppard change?
his Love Bites?
The fact is homos can be cured if they try but liberals lie to them and say they can’t. You further the gay agenda like in the changing teh Episcopl Church so they end prayers with “gaymen” and have crying Virgin Hillary statues
Now come on. You can’t just wave Gary Ruppert like a flag and then say anything you like. Wear the sock with some fucking pride.
So you take 98 people who are one thing but don’t want to be one thing anymore, tell them to pray for 3-4 years and in the end you observe what you want to observe, no matter the result.
Science is so easy! Why did they never teach that the University?
I wonder if you can order their Scientific Prayerbook of Serious Scientific Science for Psychological Reprogramming on the internet?
If a leopard could change its spots, it would be a tiger.
Did his gushing article even mention the fact that 25 of the 98 people dropped out of the study? (Jim Burroway at Box Turtle Bulletin had a great debunking of the “study.”) I’m sure those 25 all left because they had turned so straight that they didn’t need Exodus anymore.
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