The Fact Is That I Am In Charge Here

The fact is that it is I, Gary Rupperto. As all right thinking people know, Liberal Communist moonbats like the authors of this blog hate America but are happy to live off her bloated welfare system. It seems like a number of the regular authors here must have all gotten their welfare checks at the same time and gone down to one of the Gay Abortion Check Cashing And Discotheque places that you find on every corner in Liberal neighborhoods, because I peeked in the window here at Sadly, No! and found some of the America-haters passed out on the floor with that Noam Chomsky pornography you all love playing on the TV. When I tried the door, it was open, so I took the opportunity to seize this battlefield in the name of the Grand War On Terror. Not everyone can fight the enemy abroad, you know, and the fact is that the most important battlefront is right here on the internet, where our own Greatest Generation is defending freedom. The fact is that I’m going to be holding one of these Islamofascist-loving Liberals as an enemy combatant in my own Guantanamo until all of you swear allegiance to George W. Bush and stop acting as a fifth column against America and freedom. I’m also going to make you listen to the facts, whether you like them or not.

The fact is that the new surveillance laws passed by Our Leader have foiled more terrorist plots than you’ll ever know, despite what the Liberal MSM says.

The fact is that the only reason anyone would doubt the word of General Petraeus in his testimony before Congress is because that person is a Liberal Communist who hates the troops.

Although the real reason we went to war with Iraq was to bring them the unified democratic government they have always wanted, the fact is that the way the war has lowered oil prices is just further proof of George W. Bush’s genius.

The fact is that the troop reduction George W. Bush announced tonight proves that the surge is a stunning success.

That’s just a taste of what’s to come, America-haters. It’s time you all learned how to handle the truth. And, unlike Vietnam, the Great War of the Internets will not be lost to the backstabbing ways of the Liberal Communists in our midst. The fact is that your failed ideology belongs in the Dustbin of History. Remember, I’ve got your leader, and I’ll be checking to see if those loyalty pledges have been made – you have been warned! (The fact is, I don’t know if it’s Travis or Mencken or one of the other hate-spewers I’ve taken. All you Liberal Communists look the same to me.)

I will be back.

Jillian adds: Hey guys, it’s me. If you hang out in the comments at all, you’ve probably seen me chatting away down there. Well today, I swung by this place, and the back door was standing wide open, and….well, it’s obvious that our most beloved troll, Gary Ruppert, really was here. For one thing, it looks like a Cheetos factory exploded in the place, and for another, the smell….well, the less said about that, the better.

I’m not really sure what Gary went and did, because I can’t seem to get rid of the rant he posted, but I did manage to go through and fix the links that were obviously supposed to have been there from the start, so at least it makes a little more sense. I’m also not sure what he’s talking about with “enemy combatants” and “loyalty pledges”, but there is a trail of Cheeto-dust leading out of this place right to somebody’s basement door not too far from here, so things don’t look good. Hopefully, Gavin or Brad will fill us in on what happened here when they can, but until then, I might be posting a little bit here and there – if it’s all right with you guys, that is. If nothing else, my being here might help to keep Gary from coming back, because we all know that there’s nothing a wingnut hates more than a woman who isn’t a shrieking harpy or a punctuation freak with a glue fetish.


Comments: 42


Gary, you should come to the next BBQ!!

See pics from the last one:


Fishbone McGonigle

I’m scared.

Somebody hold me.


Oh dear, I think somebody just made Ann Althouse and Der Robo-Professor very excited. Hide the red wine!


A coup, a coup! The fact is Gary Ruppert is now the de facto proprietor of this blog.


it’s like cliff yablonski and hugh hewitt had a baby!


Sooo, is Gary Rupperto new or did someone just change their WordPress display name?


The fact is, I for one welcome our new Rupperto overlord. At least he sounds more like gary than most of the other fake garys around these parts (except for mine, of course).


Gary, it’s ok. Sit down. You ok? Need anything? I’m gonna have some pizza and beer sent up. Put the safety on, ok? Is it on? Nobody’s gonna hurt you, youngster. Just breathe now. Ok? Better? Ok.

Now we don’t know who you have either, we can’t account for anybody. Hell, we never know where any of those guys are. Brad goes to Fenway, we only hear about it after the fact if his mancrush Ortiz hits one out. But whichever one you have, he’s a young man, and he doesn’t deserve this. I want to propose a swap, ok? It doesn’t matter, right? One liberal commie’s as good as another, right? So take me, and let him go. I won’t give you any trouble.

Whaddaya say?



Ding dong.

It’s me. The, uh, pizza guy.


Seems the inmates are in charge @ the asylum. And Jillian, what w/ her, like, knowing stuff & things & stuff like that, will be an excellent choice for Chief Inmate.


Rupperto: Bush hasn’t announced anything yet, you ignorant drone. Guess you haven’t figured out the clever “fool a fascist” time-stamping yet. Hint: It’s somewhere in EURABIA1!1!1!! Eeek!


I always suspected Gary was a SadlyNobot, possibly made with the Hanson technology in the previous post. Gary may be a “backdoor man” but there are no open doors. You need a key. Gary has one.


The fact is that I come to sadly, no to read teh Jillian in teh comments (among many, many others). So I am teh gladly that she may be posting.


Jillian is an excellent choice as a contributor (assuming, of course, that you are part of the HR reshuffling around here).


Along with Anne Laurie I can’t think of anyone who deserves the right to house sit more. (With apologies to mikey and a few others.)

LA Confidential Pantload

So is Kevin gonna be the next hijack-blogger?



Lesley said,

September 14, 2007 at 2:46

“I always suspected Gary was a SadlyNobot, possibly made with the Hanson technology in the previous post. Gary may be a “backdoor man” but there are no open doors. You need a key. Gary has one.”
HEH,HEH,you said backdoor,HEH,HEH!11!11

shane's dentist's attorney's bookie

Gary’s lifelike facial covering (frubber?) allows him to disguise himself (ala Darkman) as a literate blogger.


Jillian, yes.

Fine choice.


If you missed the Pats/Jets game I’ve got video of it at my blog.


It so typical of you libpukes to bring in some feministing chick. Soon she’ll be acting like she owns the place and you won’t be able to write your lame shit until you’ve shown her you did all the dishes. Maybe she’ll get you an apron, Gav, and even let you vote as long as she approves your ballaot.


Another fake. I would never call you America haters. You have to understand something to hate it. Or at least live in it. And America is spelled in English not French. So how would you know. Have a blegian waffle, Bradley, on me. Hope you like prison cooking Islam style in 2008.


There ya go, Gary.



Dammit, I want to see the picture of the little Mexislamofascist Gary squinting into the rising sun of hope rising over Chula Vista.


The fact is, the Blegians are a constant threat to our way of life, whether Wlaoon or Felmish. Like much of Europe they are committing cultural suicide by catering to the Ilsamofascists.


You will not call us low or high no more. We have made peace and bread and several jams. You will call us shiftless waffler middlers but try and go to the EU Headquarters without buying our overpriced products . Vain Tulip eaters, all of you. Bulb mongers.


Jillian, it’s great to see your name under the titles! Don’t worry about the (new) stains on the carpet, the Boyz can clean those up when they finally come back to the clubhouse telling brave stories about the defeat of ten thousand little green confederate perfessors. (Boyz, a housekeeping hint: For those *truly* hard-to-remove organic smells, Odormute(tm). Only thing I know that actually works on tomcat urine.)

My next suggestion for the roster would be Qetesh, who could do the “night” shift from her haven in the Antipodes…

HRH.King Leopold II

Don’t fuck with Belgium,Or I’ll be all up in your vortices stealin ur rubber and generally causin havoc.Waffle eaters indeed…


“You have to understand something to hate it.”
By jove, that has got to be the dummest thing I ever read.


A coup, a coup! The fact is Gary Ruppert is now the de facto proprietor of this blog.

If it were the Real Gary(tm), that would be a coup-coup indeed.


“You have to understand something to hate it.”
By jove, that has got to be the dummest thing I ever read.

Well think about it dick and make it the fist minute you thought about something. Liberals are supposed to smart, ask your Marxism teacher about it when he’s not with a male student.


Hm. This fake Gary is a bit too hostile. Could I have another?


My Marxism teacher made me smart,he paddled me for espousing incorrect dialectic.kan haz hiney hurtz?1!11!!KTHXBAI!!1!!1!11


I noticed yu people won’t talk about Iran, as if you don’;t know where all the rocket launchers and IEDs are coming. You think they can re-use IEDs? So where are they coming from? Well the military knows that’s why we’re staying. So this is news to you people?


Gavin,I don’t know if thats you,but nobody is that stupid.The ordnance is coming from all the garrisons that were looted.I mean these aren’t high tech systems here.They’re old artillery rounds and garage door openers.You think they need Iran to supply them?


The fact is that all you have to do now is to persuade Al from the Political Animal blog to become Gary’s unterfuerher and Sadly No will then have the greatest blog line-up in the history of the world (or what is left of it before The Chimp blows it up).


I hope you post regularly, Jillian. And I hope you make a copy of the keys for Anne Laurie and Qetesh and other Sadly Sisters. There’s some funny and talented dudes here who comment regularly too but the fact is teh Sadly has the funniest and most erudite babes in the blogosphere hanging around and that always brings me back.


See, this is the great thing about Sadly, No.

No matter how much it gets under the skin of wingnuts, it’s always just one baseball game and a sixpack away from succumbing to entropy.

But now that Jillian is here, everything will be shaping up.

If she can stamp down the RuppertRoaches and keep the Kevins out of the petunias.


I’m getting confused by all the Garys. But it’s still entertaining.

And more Jillian, please!


I sure hope I can do you guys proud – this is a wonderful bunch of people here, and y’all deserve the best in vine-ripened snark.

I’m only a pinch-hitter (I hope I used that sports analogy correctly!), and I won’t be posting too much, too often, because I really do work some insanely crazy hours. I leave the house for work every day at about five thirty and usually make it home between six and seven thirty. But I’ll see what I can do.

I’m in awfully intimidating company, though. Gavin and HTML are the most incredibly erudite people I’ve ever met in my life, Brad has amazing comic timing and sensibilities, and both he and Travis have a natural gift for the well-turned phrase that few can touch.

Plus, the commentariat just rock the house daily. I love this place.


Look forward to reading your posts,hope there as good as your comments.Heh,Heh,you said pinch-hitter Heh,Heh.


[…] This has got to stop. I don’t know what Cheetos did to “teh left,” but Cheetos are being unfairly villainized on a daily basis. The worst offenders, by far, are the vile scum at Sadly, No, who can not go a week without smearing this rather American snack. Here they are two weeks ago: […]


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