Shorter Mark Steyn

Cruisin’ for jihadists

  • The Muslims have overtaken the homos as the most powerful and well-protected minority in the United States.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.


Comments: 36


I take your point. If Senator Craig had gone into the stall, rolled out his prayer mat, yelled “Allahu Akbar!” and been observed attempting to weaponize the ballcock, the undercover cop would have shrugged, “Do I really want to get stuck with another four-week stint in Sensitivity Training hell?” and gone about his business.

Now that’s some high-quality reality-free drivel right there.

He forgot the part where the cop leaves the restroom to arrest ALL CHRISTIANS AND JEWS.


Steyn now divides his time between Quebec in Canada, and Lyme, New Hampshire in the United States, due to NH being one of the States with the least amounts of government intrusion.

Deport his @ss, for good!


Proves that profiling works? That’s the most powerful case of “unclear on the concept” I’ve ever seen! That’s Great Pyramids of Giza level stupid. That’s Colossus of Rhodes level stupid. Why wasn’t this guy in the New Seven Wonders contest?


Yes Deport his ass!

Wait, what side of the border are you? ‘Cause I know we Canadians don’t particularly want him either…


weaponize the ballcock??

When I first read this, I wasn’t really considering the author, and I took it as a sarcastic comment to the effect that “of course an undercover cop isn’t going to ignore a terrorist in the bathroom at the airport. Have you been to the fucking airport in the past 5 years?”

And then I realized I was reading Steyn, and what I had initially seen as sarcastic is what he actually means literally.


The Self-Loathing Multiculturalist

Reminds me of the time I rolled out my prayer mat, and yelled out “Allahu Akbar”. Can’t remember what happened next, but for the next two weeks, I was in the worst hotel in Eastern Europe I have ever stayed in.


“See? This proves that profiling works.”

Ok. That pretty much tears it. These idiots are NOT Americans.

Lemme try and explain this, but it’s pretty clear that the very concept, the vision of America, why she is different, why she has so much potential to be great, is utterly lost on you authoritarian thugs.

In America, we do not base our answers to these kinds of questions on whether or not they “work”. Certainly, if you stopped everybody on the road and searched their cars, you’d find guns, drugs, all sorts of things. This would “work”.

Instead, in a pact with the people, the founders wrote a constitution that guarantees certain rights to the people. We make our decisions based upon their compliance with these guarantees, not strictly upon their efficacy.

In America, people are guaranteed equal protection under the law. That is what makes profiling illegal. It’s not even worth discussing if it “works” or not. It violates a bedrock tenet of our system of governance.

Hundreds of thousands of Americans have died over two centuries defending that precious document, the one you are so prepared to throw away because you are afraid you might die. If you had a tiny fraction of the courage it took those men and women to fight to defend YOUR rights, you’d be fighting to defend those rights from people LIKE YOU!!

You are not only a traitor, you are a coward…


Principal Blackman

He forgot the part where the cop leaves the restroom to arrest ALL CHRISTIANS AND JEWS.

Well, that part goes without saying. It doesn’t even need to be mentioned that Christians have suffered horribly under the yoke of persecution.


I didn’t know running your hand under a stall wall and touching another’s foot with yours constituted profiling?

Stern’s whacko “the cops would have just let him go” muslim potty fantasy really shows you what conservatards think of law enforcement.

Ah well, not a day goes by in wingnuttia where personal responsibilty and humility aren’t thrown out the window in favor of some good ole Muslim paranoia.


So Larry Craig was looking through the cracks in the stalls, moving his hands oddly and tapping his foot in the airport bathroom and was arrested because such behavior fits the profile of someone looking to engage in bathroom sex. OK.

Uhhh, I may be going out on a limb here but how exactly is that profiling? A cop goes to a mensroom to investigate lewd behaviour. He finds a man “looking through cracks in the stalls, moving his hands oddly and tapping his foot.” The officer interprets these movements as sexual advances. Even if Craig happens to have a creepy ability to unknowingly make sexual advances to undercover cops, that officer still has probable cause. If the cop were profiling Larry Craig, he would have stopped the senator before he entered the washroom, asked if he was a Republican and then arrested him on suspicion of being closeted.


And I’m sure Mr. Steyn felt no uncomfortable tingles “down there” when he imagined the Muslim weaponizing the ballcock.


Shit Steyn: living in NH for the Freedom From Gubmint, and Quebec to suck off le teton publique.


Ahem: you got there first – Quebec is the Canadian province with (arguably) the highest level of govt intrusiveness. Steyn is like one of those people who do a polar bear dip after a long, hot sauna.

Hysterical Woman

You shouldn’t advocate profiling if you have no idea what it means.


craig pled guilty. Doesn’t that mean something to Steyn?

hi, sadlies. I’m sitting in a little restaurant on the corner of bedford st. and downing st. in the west village, enjoying a 1/2 bottle of nice italian wine, and checking the intertoobes.

the promised internet access in the apartment we’re staying in is a false promise. so we’re forced to venture out to drinking establishments in order to get my internet jones satisfied.

whutup about Abu Gonzales? anyone else think another shoe’s gonna drop soon?


You guys don’t understand. The brown races should be walking. If brown persons are driving a car, then they are obviously selling drugs, as otherwise they couldn’t afford one. It’s the behavior of driving cars that gets one profiled. Sheesh.


“See? This proves that profiling works.”

These wingnuts are confusing profiling with acting on suspicious behaviour. Profiling is pulling someone aside because of their appearance and/or demographic. Craig was arrested for engaging in suspicious behaviour. If indeed a Muslim did go into a men’s rest room, rolled out a prayer rug, and chanted Allah Akbar, one would hope that it would get some attention from security.

But why bother arguing this. These people think that the terrorists have already followed us home and are plotting to enslave us all.


If indeed a Muslim did go into a men’s rest room, rolled out a prayer rug, and chanted Allah Akbar, one would hope that it would get some attention from security.

Why? Is praying in restrooms now considered disorderly conduct?

We should take care not to internalize winger memes like “practicing Muslim”=”terrorist.” Plus, I doubt suicide bombers would bother to bring their prayer rugs along. As it is they barely have enough time to get in the “God is great!” before becoming one with shrapnel, never mind kneeling and trying to figure out which way’s east.

Now, I find ostentatious displays of religiosity as obnoxious as the next atheist, but such displays are not wrong, or illegal, or evidence of terrorism in the offing. Though inviting jumpy doltish rent-a-cops to find you suspicious wouldn’t be a smooth move, whether it’s fair or not.


MCH: Actually, I wouldn’t even consider praying in the toilet to be ‘ostentatious’. Really the reverse.


I am looking now at a 1/32nd scale model of Ken doll in the Barbie men’s restroom stall playset, and I can say with some assurance that immediately to Ken’s right is a toilet-paper roll, which rises above the level of his knees, making it impossible to see anything on the right side of the stall. Even if Ken was head-out, he still couldn’t see anything to his right below the level of the top deck (all stalls have significant blind spots close in, which is why they need doorlocks to protect them from FAG guys looking in gloryholes). So, if, as the cop says, the seated “tapped” his foot to the right, he must have used extrasensory perception in order to catch the cop. Because there’s no way he knew the cop was even there.


Smotes, you’re cracking me up.

Oh, and Brillo Head!


Wait, Smotes, did you just say “protect the from FAG guys looking in glory holes?” Dude, where do you go to the potty that has glory holes in the first place. I think if you have such a problem with ‘FAG guys’, you oughtta stay clear of the Glory Hole Stall.

Is this a Lileks Troll? Nah, would’ve given it away with the Manhole of Glory.


Wait, what about the part where the cops arrest everyone celebrating Christmas?! That’s number one on teh libtard agenda – everyone knows that.


mikey, once again, I love you.


And another thing, a cop arresting an individual who appears to be engaged in unlawful activity is kinda what cops are paid to do – you know, to police public places to make sure, like, the laws deemed necessary by society are enforced and stuff. It’s not profiling to arrest a suspect WHO IS IN THE ACT OF VIOLATING THE LAW. “Profiling” would be arresting or detaining men suspected of being homosexual because you, like Gary Ruppert, have read that gay men cruise bathrooms for teh sexks.

Yes, deport him to a country mutually acceptable to Canada and the U.S. Iraq perhaps.

Herr Doktor Bimler

I’ve been trying to buy a weaponised ballcock, because they sound cool, but in New Zealand they’re only available to qualified plumbers. Even plumbers need a special license if it’s a concealed weaponised ballcock.


Weaponize the ballcock.
Immanentize the eschaton.

Lube it up and GO!!!


I’ve been trying to buy a weaponised ballcock

This would be pretty easy, if you think about it. Half a kilo of C4 on the inside wall of the tank. Electrical detonator and battery on top of the fill valve. Exposed contacts on the ballcock and on the float. When the device is set, the contacts are touching but separated by a small piece of plastic insulator. When the toilet is flushed, the plastic insulator falls away. When the ball floats up to the valve again, the now-exposed contacts meet and


There you have it, weaponized ballcock. Tune in next week when we convert this BMX bicycle into an anti-tank mine…


Herr Doktor Bimler

Oh noes! Terrorist information on the Interducts!


The most powerful & well protected minority in the United States are people who are powerful & well protected.

Qetesh the Abyssinian

See, profiling is just the devil’s own brand of toy. You’re a cop, you see someone running out of a smoking bank with a duffel full of dollars over one shoulder and a big gun over the other, followed by screams and cries of “catch that bugger!” and the lie-berals want you to profile the guy.

Whereas the sensible Repugnicans know that it’s the Mooslims or the black guys who are really the criminals.

Qetesh the Abyssinian

And I know D. Sidhe said it first, but I love you, mikey.

Hey, just noticed: does that D stand for Daoine?


Djur, MCH–

Praying *in* the toilet–can’t see it.
Praying *to* the toilet–well, I’ve done that a time or seventy.


Uhh, toilets are considered dirty, so you won’t find a muslim praying near one.

Anyhow, a weaponized uhm… Let’s just say that it’s armed when not flaccid. Cocks are very commonly used in assaults the world over… o-o



That’s why American newspapers are refusing to run a Berkley Breathed “Opus” cartoon that might offend Muslims.

That’s why Muslim taxi drivers are exempt from transporting blind people with guide animals – screw those cripples, we must show the proper respect to Islam!

That’s why an American university brought up young people on charges of “Allah descrecration” for stomping on a Hezbollah flag.

Yeah, it’s not illegal to criticize Islam publicly – yet – although the largest mainstream Muslim organization in the States did support a lawsuit against people reporting suspicious behavior in an airport.

Oh hell, go back to picking on that idiot Ivy League blogger chick.. it is really more your speed anyway.


Golden boy, is that the best you can do, even i remember when we had better trolls round here!

Weaponize the ballcock

Is he projecting here, or talking in ‘teh gay’ code.


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