Michelle Malkin Lectures Us On Maturity

Yep. It’s true:

The Death Of The Grown-Up

Longtime readers are familiar with the brilliant work of Diana West. She has been a guest-blogger here and I frequently link her trenchant Washington Times columns. Today, her first book debuts: “The Death of the Grown-up: How America’s Arrested Development Is Bringing Down Western Civilization.” I was delighted to read the manuscript and provide an endorsement. The book is a brilliant diagnosis of our backward baseball cap culture and its intellectual and moral deficiencies, which have profound consequences for a nation at war.

Above: “Oleander, coriander, sis-boom-WHOOPS!”

Though I’m not quite yet willing to abandon my Wii, West makes a convincing case that America’s abdication of adulthood (from pop culture to attire to perpetually adolescent gamers) weakens our ability to identify and defend against jihad.

Above: “Mah name is M-Slice, and I be’s here ta say…”

Holy Christ, this is rich.

Let’s do a quick review of some of our brave and mighty warbloggers, shall we?

  • Jonah Goldberg writes obsessive essays fretting that Battlestar Galactica has stopped catering to his political biases.
  • Ole Perfesser Glenn Harlan Reynolds dreams of a “comfy chair revolution” where instead of doing real work, he can spend his days blogging “on a laptop in a Borders… comfortably ensconced on a leather couch and waiting for the line to thin so I can order a latte.”

…Well, ’nuff said about that.

The incredible blindness of the wingnutosphere never ceases to amaze me.


Comments: 46


It’s because none of them cast a refection.

Hysterical Woman

Steven den Beste wrote an essay on why mecha are impossible. Way to ruin everynerds’ dreams.


“The most intriguing question about American culture today–even more intriguing than, “When and why did men start to hug each other?”–is the question Diana West tackles in this penetrating and witty book: “When and why did Americans decide to stop growing up?” Actually, I have a depressing feeling that the two questions are related.”
—George F. Will

It’s sneaky and unfair of George Will to give away the secret premise of Jonah’s book like that, but now I can’t wait to read all about teh horror of hugging.

I hope it’s not entirely plagiarized from Gen. J.C. Christian.


And another thing!! What’s up with this whole “baseball” thing? And the Super Bowl? The NCAA championship? The U.S. Open? These so-called events, while really reminding us of the really fun things in America, are completely distracting us from all of the diaper-spoiling paranoia, militarism, authoritarianism, and fear-mongering it takes to take on the dreaded Islamocommies!!

The surge is WORKING and all I see on television are Johan Santana throwing 17 Ks, pre-season football, and Roger Federer! I demand that everyone stop enjoying their summer activities right this minute (while I play wii for a couple hours).

Incontinentia Buttocks

You realize that every time you post the celery version of that picture, James Lileks expects Ddaffy’s underwear to drop?


Dear Michelle Malkin,

Physician, heal thyself.




Conservatives make me realize that there are people in the world who need an orgasm.



“When and why did men start to hug each other?”

I dunno, George, but on the “when” I’m gonna guess it was probably in the neighborhood of hundreds of thousands of years before recorded history. As for the “why,” I’m guessing it’s a greeting or sign of affection. This guess was formed by interacting with and observing other humans, which George is afraid to do (understandably–if I were him I’d avoid society too).

Fear of human contact–could he play right into the super-suppressed, tight-ass WASP stereotype any more? I’m guessing they “dress for dinner” at the Will household.

Principal Blackman

Michelle Malkin rambling about “intellectual deficiencies.” Wow. That’s pretty fuckin’ funny right there. Hey Michelle, you know an easy way you can help ease America’s “intellectual deficiencies?” Stop writing. That’ll cure a lot right there.

BTW, it’s very well known that The Troops fucking looooooove video games, particularly team-based shooters. So I guess Michelle must really fucking hate them for being so stuck in adolescence that they are unable to identify and combat jihad. Damn you, Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six! You’ll cost us the war against islamocommienazifacism!


Everything’s going to lead to the end of western civilization according to these people. What drama queens.


Sometimes I wish Western civilization would just go ahead and end, “as we know it”, so that no-one could get shrilly exercised about how it was about to end and we could go on with our lives.


Everything’s going to lead to the end of western civilization according to these people. What drama queens.

This is the crux of what makes them so batshit, right here. They’re unable to compartmentalize or prioritize anything. All they think about all day is JIHAD CALIPHATE AIIIYEEEEEEEE!!! Anything that annoys them is part of the gathering Islamofascist threat and the eventual end of our society. Everything is in crisis, all the time, for every reason (except, of course, in Iraq, where pony rides and purple fingers abound…as long as cowardice and immaturity back home don’t Dolchestass the whole beautiful enterprise!!!!!!!). If something doesn’t directly aid teh terrorists, it aids them secondarily by sapping the all important will and resolve of the should-be master races. A while back, they set their addled brains to paranoid overdrive and snapped off the dial.


So, let me get this straight:

1) Republicans take control of congress in 1992 for the first time in forever and have had control until 7 months ago.
2) The past 27 years have seen 19 years of Republican Presidents and 8 years of a moderate Democrat President (and 23 out of the last 35)
3) The Supreme Court has steadily gotten more conservative over the past 30 years primarily because (2) above.

Now, since Western Civilization is nearing its end because of a lack of Grown-up-ism, I know whom to blame: backward-baseball-cap culture!


Eh, wot? George Will making insinuations about sissy man-huggers? That prissy bow-tie-wearing fop?


The comment section in that Malkin thread is hilarous – a bunch of wingers agreeing about how totally mature they are, while simultaneously defending their own hours and hours of playing video games.

In other news, Irony was found face down in the East River this morning.


our backward baseball cap culture and its intellectual and moral deficiencies

I don’t know why she is picking on Turtle. He drives the car, and is a very loyal person. How about taking into account his good qualities?


“Steven den Beste wrote an essay on why mecha are impossible.”
Gee Steve you’re a real intellect to figure that one out. Most sci-fi devices are impossible anyway, and mechs still kick ass so who really cares. I’m kinda having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of a reich-winger anime fan. I dunno, but all the other fans I’ve met certainly don’t seem like the type. I remember a thread on an anime forum about some stupid shit on Fox News and EVERYONE was mocking them relentlessly. It almost sounded like what you might see on “Sadly, No!” what with all the “Faux News” jabs flying around. Oh well. I guess no group is immune. (sighs sadly)

And yes I to find Malkin talking about “maturity” and George Will talking about how wussy all those other guys are pretty fucking hilarious. I admit it I love stupid stuff like old video games and cartoons and crummy B-movies, but I’m also able to look at things calmly, rationally, and objectively. I have some sense of self awareness. And lastly I don’t endlessly posture about how tough I am, and try to project all my insecurities onto others. So, I’m pretty sure that, yes I am indeed more mature than they are.


Why this idea that cultural purity is important to fight a war properly? In fact, any culturally mature and developed nation would tar and feather the CiC before unleashing an unjust war. So they’re asking for something which will unmake all their plans.


Fucking bitch.

Hey, Michelle, come over here and sit down. Give me an hour or so to tell you how I “grew up”.

Because you are an insulated, insular, priviledged american bigot, you are quite comfortable cheering for war and demanding we as a nation grow up. Sadly, hypocritically perhaps, or perhaps just ignorantly not understanding the role war plays in growing up.

Frankly, I could have used a little less growing up, and a little more childhood. At 18 years old, I didn’t need to see the things I saw. I didn’t need to learn the things I learned about the world.

And because you are addicted to hatred, you want to inflict that caliber of horror on kids all over the world. Our kids, and “theirs”. To what end? To what bloody, selfish, pathetic end, dammit?

When we are all veterans, having killed, having lost friends and loved ones in horrific ways, having cradled a young strangers head while he bleeds out, shivering in the hot afternoon sun, having fired the rounds that helped a child to “grow up” more quickly by killing his mother, what will we have accomplished? Will that somehow be a better society? Will we be better people? Will you have learned that hatred only breeds death?

No, Michelle, it is you and your arrogant, bigoted friends safely ensconced in your suburban paradise, where the worst that can happen is a splinter in your finger from that darn garden gate, that need to grow up. You need to understand that in war, everybody loses, and that fighting in a war is not honorable, does not fill you with glory, does not protect you from the people who hate YOU.

When you have grown up a little, you will have learned that it is a proud, honorable human who lives at peace with his neighbors, who finds a little discussion, a bit of negotiation, perhaps a smidgen of commerce to be a better solution to disagreements than killing and destruction.

As a grown up, you will find that lifting up your fellow human brothers and sisters, helping them be more, and better, and healthier, is infinitely more rewarding than killing them and wrecking their stuff.

A genuine adult understands that they are making a choice. They can choose a path that leads to eternal conflict, hatred, destruction, fear and back to more hatred, or they can find path to peace and prosperity. It doesn’t need to be surrender – but it doesn’t need to be war either…



They have never bothered to sell their policies to the rest of the country, just to insult everyone who does not agree with them. And they are astonished to find that everyone thinks they are assholes. Must be a sign of our bad taste and bad upbringing.

Trilateral Chairman

Fortunately for America, our Great Leader may yet save us! He is a man’s man, who would never so much as TOUCH another man (bonecrushing handshakes excepted) let alone (God forbid!) HUG one….

Oh, wait. Never mind.


Let’s face it, if her cheerleading routines are any indication, Malkin hasn’t the coordination to get past the demo level with that Wii. And Will’s “Big Boy” wardrobe choices have been the object of public mockery since before many Sadly-Nauts were born. They’re just hoping a Great White Father will come along and take the cool toys and stylin’ fashions away from the rest of us mean mean kids at recess. Serve us right if, it will, when the Islamofascisterrist gang comes along and turns our nanny-state-provided public playground into a sharia’n’falafel court!


our backward baseball cap culture

Yo, Michelle — 1998 called; it wants its cultural signifier back.


Somewhat OT, and I couldn’t find video, but I love this skit:


Awesome, Gus. I’d forgotten about that sketch, and despite it being well before my time (when SNL was actually, you know, funny), I have seen it in reruns.

Herr Doktor Bimler

How America’s Arrested Development Is Bringing Down Western Civilization.
Things are worse than I realised, if the future of Western Civilization depends on conditions in America.


I hugged George Will once and he put his tongue in my ear.

He was wearing his baseball cap the right way though.


Well said, Mikey.

With Wisdom comes Humility.

Those who are not Humble are not Wise.

Qetesh the Abyssinian

Mikey, you made me cry again. I so wish you’d get a chance to say these sorts of things to the world at large.

Herr Doktor, that’s because they plan to bomb the bejeezus out of the rest of the world, so America will be all that’s left of civilisation (loosely speaking).



Hysterical Woman said,

August 21, 2007 at 20:09

Steven den Beste wrote an essay on why mecha are impossible. Way to ruin everynerds’ dreams.
Without Mecha my life would be a hollow meaningless exercise,you fucking prick!!


Oh,and chogokin kicks ass,whether it’s literally feasible or not.Is hate too strong a word?


Spoiler Alert!!!

I’m about to ruin your entire sense of happiness and well-being.

Read no further if you value your sanity.

Here’s some space so you can distance yourself from the following atrocity.

That cheerleading video still really creeps me out.

She and He-Malkin are categorically insane wingnuts.

As we’ve seen, categorically insane wingnuts tend to have some…uh…proclivities in the…you know…hoo-hoo department.

What do you think they need to do to…you know…uh…make the beast with two backs?

It’s already crippled me mentally.

Misery loves company.


[…] N! commenter Mikey quickly takes her to task: Hey, Michelle, come over here and sit down. Give me an hour or so to tell you how I “grew […]


“Though I’m not quite yet willing to abandon my Wii,…”

That’s all that needs to be said, isn’t it? On second thought, we can still tighten that up a bit.

“Though I’m not …”

There. The quintessential warblogger post.


[…] This Year • Class of 2008 All-Name Team • Five Stupidest Startups of the Summer • Michelle Malkin Lectures Us On Maturity […]


“When and why did men start to hug each other?”

It all goes back to the faggy middle ages. After a limp-wristed week of fighting the moors or the saracens or whoever, interspersed with copious hugging and *shudder* kissing, the knights would spend all weekend playing lawn-darts and croquet, too effete and immature to notice TEH MOOSLIM HOARDS!


Den Beste is 54.


Honestly, I feel sad for him.


[…] We agree with Hot Air. We need more adults. […]


so, if i’m getting this right, we’re losing the war on terror because people wear baseball caps backward? you know what this means? one out of every nine players on a baseball team is a terrorist! i knew joe mauer’s average was too good to be American.

isn’t this kinda like that one simpsons episode where bart quits putting menus on doors, and his boss is like “now my daughters must go to state school, where drunken jockocracy rules all. baseball caps everywhere…”


“Steven den Beste wrote an essay on why mecha are impossible. Way to ruin everynerds’ dreams.”

Heh, I remember having those discussions in high school (though my main argument was always that even if we had mecha, they’d be inferior to tanks except in really bad terrain – in which case you’d still have problems with infantry ambushing you with RPGs… Full Metal Panic! had a nice take on this – everything that couldn’t be explained (it’s Submarine Carrier, the mecha, etc.pp.) was “black technology” aka cheating)

Gundamhead: There are few, but they’re an exception (after all, the majority of them believe its an evil influence to our yourth!!!(ts foreign, being special agent/soldier blowing up mechas/etc.pp. ain’t a traditional role for women!!!, it disrespects the christian religion, yadda yadda, you know the drill)) – and usually they tend to be quiet.


No surprise she mentions Clinton, but what about Bush? With his “Golf Cart One”, Presidential socks, the way his dad bailed him out of each and every failure, his abdication of his job to Dick Cheney… Surely he cannot be one of those West is talking about? Nothing childish there.

And Stephen Den Beste… pathetic! I am sad to say I used to read his works vigorously. As soon as the war started to tank he started blogging about anime. Before it was just like, which series were good and not. Now he’s blogging about what babes they are. The sad sad decline of this warblogger….

I play videogames pretty much every night after work. Does that make me a childish grown up? Perhaps. But I can recognize ignorance, hatred, racism, and bloodlust when I see it, and that’s why I am not a fan of Michelle Malkin.


I love seeing Malking and her cheerleader outfit.

Nothing screams patriotism more than seeing a 4’10” woman with the figure of a 13 year old boy with pom poms


It’s eerie. Just today I was wearing my baseball cap backwards, because it tends to blow off when I ride my bicycle.

I’m 61 years old.


Nothing screams patriotism pedophile bait more than seeing a 4?10? woman with the figure of a 13 year old boy with pom poms

C’mon–we all know there has to be someone driving up her hits besides the functional illiterati on the far right….


Best. Blog. Post. Ever.


Mikey! Dear Gods that was both well writ’ and so damned accurate. I doubt that boom-boom mama-san will ever have anyone talk to her that way in person. (That is unless you get past her, ‘people’, dressed as the Fuller Brush Man or something. LOL ) I hope you posted it in the replies section of her blog, too. Because even if she deletes it, she still had to read it.

It was that good, from the heart and honest. I doubt she’d understand it though. She doesn’t seem to have the hardwiring to display any empathy whatsoever.


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