“I’m The Proud Owner Of Karl Rove’s Father’s Solid Gold Cock Ring.”
Well this is certainly interesting:
The “Jim” in this story is the Jim Ward who started the piercing industry. Louie is Louis Claude Rove whose adopted son’s first name is Karl. Louie died quietly in Palm Springs as his very secular, not-believing son ran President Bush’s campaign for President of the United States that energized the Christian evangelical base around the wedge issue of gay marriage…
As I watched the news this week, I saw a Karl Rove standing beside the President, his voice crocking, talking about his love for Bush and his country but over that “noise,” I heard the memory of Joe Koons whispering in my ear.
“You do know who his son is?”
…Oh My God!
And now I wondered if that son ever cried for the man who raised him and watched him grow up? I’d be curious as to how Karl Rove would ever explain his pierced, gay father?
Now apropos Karl, if someone could only explain the Jeff Gannon thing, with the, you know, White House press credentials under an assumed name and without any Secret Service or FBI screening, and the apparent having-of-access to secret CIA memos, and so forth…
Above: The Matt “Dirty” Sanchez of the Rooftop Bar set
[Hanx! Anon]
Ugh. Honestly, I couldn’t care less if Rove’s dad got his kicks by sticking his cock in the carburator of a floral print Pinto station wagon but, like the 1994 Cheney “quagmire” video, I have to wonder where the fuck these stories were in, say, Oct. of ’04, when it might’ve mattered.
Well this is certainly entertaining.
It’s just the same shit it always was. Smart, amoral hypocrites use authoritarian followers to acquire power and wealth.
More to the point, Rove is an atheist who has gained power by helping fundamentalists attack anyone who isn’t sufficiently religious.
It’s enough to force you to grant that Nietzche had a point- there are a lot of slavish people, just waiting for some amoral asshole to rule them.
Dear Dad:
Hope all’s well. I’m working on ways to make all our opponents look like fags like you. George is kind of dense, but I’ll make the message play somehow, and you and your kind will contribute to the 1000 Year Reich in as fitting a way as possible: as victims!
Thanks for the birthday card. You’re swell.
Love,
Karl
Repressing your sexuality kills your soul.
Gannon or whatever his real name was is a tool, nothing more.
Thanks for the birthday card.
You’re swell.What, no cash? Asshole.Fixed.
I’m not really interested in Hott Karl’s dad, honestly.
The fact that Rove has been an integral part of the administration taking a huge steaming dump on the Constitution is perhaps more of a concern than anything we can say about his father.
We’ve given up freedom for security, in the form of an overly assertive executive, a supine legislature, and a largely complicit judiciary. We’re now a nation that can be wiretapped, disappeared, and tortured, and a significant minority of us are just fine with that. The Democrats aren’t going to roll these changes back. We’re going to have to fight for them, and, sadly, the most truculent, belligerent members of our society are all too happy to see our freedoms evaporate, mistaking, as they do, conformity for patriotism.
Doesn’t really matter if Rove, Sr. was putting a DVI cable in his HDMI socket, if you know what I mean.
On the other hand, cock rings in general are pretty fucking funny. Hey! I’m feeling better already!
From teh link:
He never told the people in Louis’ phone book that he had died, nor invited them to a service if there was one. No one even knows where he is buried.
What a horrible little bastard Karl Rove is.
Interesting. I kinda-sorta know Jim Ward… let me see if I can get some sort of official confirmation/denial…
I have to agree with kingbau. Though this might be a true story, in fact probably is, I really don’t care. I think the sexual fetishes or foibles of politicians (or their relatives) are regularly and completely overblown for absolutely no good reason.
I think the sexual fetishes or foibles of politicians (or their relatives) are regularly and completely overblown for absolutely no good reason.
Overblown? Is such a thing possible and if so how can I gain first-hand evidence?
Yeah, these kind of stories are fun. Amusing and interesting, juxtaposing as they do the father and the son, as if there’s a lesson for all to be learned, like the separated twins studies we’ve all read about.
But honestly. It really wouldn’t matter if Karl Rove’s father founded the Red Cross, won a Medal of Honor in Korea, developed a cure for cancer and won a Best Picture Oscar. His son is the greatest traitor ever to take action against the United States, and one can only hope that he lives long enough to be sufficiently punished for his crimes….
mikey
And now I wondered if that son ever cried for the man who raised him and watched him grow up?
it would be interesting to know about Karl’s formative years, what made him the sociopath he is today. I can’t imagine him crying for anyone or anything…perhaps at one time he could but he’s long since lost the ability.
[…] Aug 19th, 2007 by Geek with a laptop I am not saying a damn word… just go read Here and Here […]
Hey, by the way, my 10-year-old buy just ran up to ask me something, and emblazoned across the laptop screen it says “I’m The Proud Owner Of Karl Rove’s Father’s Solid Gold Cock Ring”.
I suppose I should be grateful it wasn’t Cap’n Tailpipe.
Hey, by the way, my 10-year-old buy
How much?
And if he were to ask about what was on the screen, you could say, like Grandpa in Little Miss Sunshine, “politics,” and you’d be telling the truth.
blowback, indeed.
How much?
Everything I got.
Well, I like the story. Knowing that Karl Rove’s dad had a solid gold cock ring gives me a fix of the political surrealism that I crave.
… so I have a 14 karat gold cock ring that once belonged to Louie
…
Well, I am the proud owner of Karl Rove’s father’s pure, solid gold cock ring!
This just makes me think of The Simpsons and Homer bragging “14 KARAT GOLD!”
Louie Rove was actually Karl’s stepfather, which young Karl didn’t find out until he was 20, shortly after Louie and Reba Rove separated. (An aunt and uncle broke the news.)
While Louie apparently went on to have a satisfying life (in all possible ways), Reba did not; she killed herself in 1981.
Also, the larval-Republican Rove, age 9, got into a political dispute with girl sporting a Kennedy sticker on her bike. She thrashed him.
Please consult the Frontline and New Yorker profiles.
Again, a story of denied or whitewashed sexuality in the interest of a useless puritanism or false ‘normal’ creating the foundation for amoral socipathy.
You start to feel like you’re going to find a squicky story like this behind every Republican.
I don’t know whether or not there’s a lesson to be learned, but I do wonder about how people turn into what they turn into.
Rove strikes me as the kind of pasty, doughy person who’s often the object of ridicule and bullying as a kid. Well, he showed them who’s boss, didn’t he?
And there’s also this.
“Rove’s stepfather…starting living an openly gay life after divorcing Karl Rove’s mother, who later committed suicide.”
As Kurt Vonnegut wisely said, “Sons of suicides seldom do well.”
Perhaps Rove has been a secret agent super-mole for teh gay. Sure, he made things worse for them by stoking up all that amendment nonsense in aught 4, but as things have turned out, he has made the GOP brand toxic, possibly for two generations. Mission accomp*swish*ed!
We’re now a nation that can be wiretapped, disappeared, and tortured, and a significant minority of us are just fine with that.
Ah, sweet, naïve, innocent zsa. Now? The only difference is that it’s a bit more in the open now, & more of that significant minority (?) can be open in their absolute contempt for just about everything even slightly different than they are. After all, “If you ain’t doin’ nuthin’ wrong, y’ain’t got no reason to be afeared.”
And if he were to ask about what was on the screen…
Mr. Rove’s father raised championship quality Road Island Red Roosters.
9!! Inches!, Uncut!“Sweet, naive, and innocent”? All of that, and high maintenance too.
“If you ain’t doin’ nuthin’ wrong, y’ain’t got no reason to be afeared.”
Isn’t that the motto on Alabama’s license plate?
So “Secrets” and lieing to protect them is was a massive part of Karl’s early life.
What kind of thrill it must have been for him to “Leak”…
Y’know, if someone had brought up the fact that Rove is an agnostic eight years ago, we wouldn’t be in this mess.
Atheist. He’s an atheist. And you can’t expect our media to do anything but act like the stooges they are.
As Kurt Vonnegut wisely said, “Sons of suicides seldom do well.”
What d’you mean? As far as I can tell, he’s done excellently with his amoral, nation-damaging agenda.
“As far as I can tell, he’s done excellently…”
OK, in this instance let do mean “to bring about, or effect.” He may have personally done well, but he hasn’t done us well (or, we haven’t done well by him).
A video of a young Turd Blossom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HPnW4EBed4
I really don’t want to look at pictures of penis-shaped Jeff Gannon any more.
*head explodes*
Well well well. Per Jim, it’s 100% true, and he (Jim) was interviewed by BoingBoing about this over the weekend and it should be appearing there shortly.
What a strange, strange world.
Democrat who talks about poor people gets expensive haircut: BIGGEST STORY EVARRRRR!!111!!!1!1!
Republican political elites (Reagan, Rove, Newt, etc.) who publicly champion the religious right’s agenda are largely irreligious and indifferent to Christian notions of morality in their private lives: crickets.
For the record, I prefer that NEITHER of the above receive extensive coverage.
*head explodes*
*head pierced*
What a strange, strange world.
I heard an interview once with a guy who was endorsing the freaky-yokel abuse on Springer with the rationale that it showed that, out in the heartland, things were actually way more diverse than straight white TV was comfortable with.
Now that’s funny, but how can you go wrong with any story about Karl Roves father’s cock ring? As the saying goes, it writes itself. This may be one case where an LOLcon would actually be funny. Maybe a picture of Rove with the text, “I haz Daddyz golden cock ring”.