Gettin My Thank Ya-Yas Out

I want to thank everyone who donated so generously to my bleg. You’ve saved my ass: The co-op agreed to let me pay my bill Wednesday, by which time your donations will have cleared into my account. Plus I have a bit extra for nicotine, caffeine and food (my necessary fuels for writing, and in that order).

I’m gonna let Gavin portion out the rest of the post — I think he was right to split it into three parts — as he sees fit. As for me, I’m already working on the next victim — er, next “Super Wingnut” profile.

In comments to the Lowry post, Roy Edroso asked if I had a book in mind. Well, in one context I did: Eric Alterman’s Sound & Fury, with its long expositions on the awfulness of such public menaces as George F. Will, Henry Kissinger, Marty Peretz, et al. To the extent that I used a template at all for my post, it was that fine book which I recommend to all. As for having one in mind in the context that Roy meant… Hmmm. No, but maybe I should?

One thing I dislike about blogging is the rapid degree by which the product disappears into the ether. By the time a post is pushed off the front page, it’s forgotten by reader and author alike. I try to rebel against that. Why, say, should a perfect bit of TBOGG snark at Rich Lowry‘s expense be left to drift in the darkness like so much spacejunk just because it’s a few months old? So, I thought, maybe if I collect and arrange into a narrative all the posts written at a particular wingnut’s expense, the older posts will gain new life, will permanently settle into orbit around that wingnut’s reputation where, cumulatively, they’ll so batter and scar its surface that intrepid explorers of the traditional media federation [to conclude this unweildy and all too Daffy ab Hugh metaphor] will rightly consider it far too nasty to colonize.

And that’s where you come in. I know: I’ve already asked a lot of you, and you’ve delivered (thanks again). Apparently Google has tried, with some degree of success, to disrupt the googlebomb effect. So that way may be blocked. But, as an alternative, if any of you readers and commenters are wikipedia people, maybe you could affix these posts to the wingnut in question’s wiki entry? At the bottom, as a resource or citiation? I know this works because someone — I think at Johann Hari’s inspiration — linked my Mark Steyn dossier on Steyn’s wikipedia page. I got all kinds of traffic from it (which is not the point), and it moved my page on Steyn way up in the search rankings on Google (which is). An Australian wikipedian eventually deleted it because it referred, allegedly unreasonably, to Steyn being a douchebag. But for a time, a dossier of that wingnut’s depravities clung to that wingnut, which is a very good thing indeed. Anyway, does anybody have any other ideas on how to keep the post stuck to Lowry like a ‘KicK Me’ sign?

Finally, I wanna thank Salon’s BlogReport, Roger Ailes, and rawstory for teh linkies. And Jane and TRex at FDL for being the sweetest people ever. And thanks again to y’all readers who gave in my time of need. I’m really overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers.

PS: What’s a good one-word name for wingnut celebrities like Kirk Cameron and Mel Gibson and Curt Schilling? Wingnutiens is to Canadian wingnuts as Dickheads is to former Nixon administration hacks as Pterocaryae is to wingnut “historians” and classicists as ______ is to wingnut celebrities. Any ideas? Something catchy?


Comments: 67


How about a ‘clean’ version of your posts formatted as essays on the site with the blog posts that are related to it as a sidebar?

Being one layer removed would make the douchebag comments irrelevent to being pulled from wikipedia ^-^


Thanks for the good work.


Daily Kos has a wiki.

The question of preserving information that appears on the internet is a tough one. I suppose that would be a function of Goggle but they have commercial needs that tend to get in the way. There is the Way Back Machine. Not sure how helpful that is.


You know, you should get some downloading program to work on the Lowry piece: something that’ll preserve both article and linked articles because it’s a perfect little piece of internettia, but as you mention above it’s transitory. In fact I started to fiddle but flaking out your server is probably bad.


Get a job hippie!

Seriously, a book on different wingnuts would be great. A who’s who of dumbasses.


Celebrity wingnuts? Blingnuts?




______ is to wingnut celebrities.



good one-word name for wingnut celebrities

“Star-Wingers”, sez my gf…

Blood Pimp? OK that’s 2 words

And glad to hear you’ve got through the bad patch.




(I like the latter of the two better, but in the spirit of today’s vernacular, the former has to get thrown into the ring).

a different brad

I dunno. Too non-sober for the bigger questions.
But plenty non-sober enough for one word nickname spitballing.
Hmmm, Kirk Cameron always makes me think of bananas now, that’s all I can think of.
How’s about in honor of Ahnuld we call them Der Bushinfergropinators?
Probably too obscure and long and not funny.
Banana, banana
Team Banana Mascots? Not one word, but best I can do right now.


Perhaps SadlyNo can add labels to each post. You can add as many as you like to each post…the name of the wingnut, the subject, theme, etc. These labels can be listed in alpha order on teh sidebar.




“Eternal Right Turners.” As in, “circle jerk of the proverbial steering wheel.” Nothing but circles.

Or, you could just call them retards. More to the point and all.

How about, “Fucking Crazy People?”

Not very catchy, for sure, but accurate.

Stretching now: Authoritards. Right(more)-ons.

Aww, shit, I got nuthin’.

Thanks for the brilliance and laughs in a not-so-funny time.

You guys make me laugh daily. A priceless gift.


I’d like to help with a suggestion, but I’m still chuckling over wingnut face mullet.




i think it is funny that you refer to the people who gave you money as “strangers”.

this blog is pretty much a community, albeit minus the bells and whistles (is a working server a bell or a whistle? no matter) that kos has. the commenters here are a self-selecting group, and pretty regular.

i give money to you not because i want your electricity turned on (not my fucking problem, frankly, i have my own shit to worry about) but because you create a spectacular product. you are a meme-starter and a meme-smasher, depending on the context. this is a vital skill in our hyper-mediated world, and you deserve to be compensated for it. so the money that i’m giving is purely a result of your fund drive (html tote bag, anyone?) reminding me that i do watch a lot of fucking poirot and how nice and yes, these shlubs at PBS do need my 25 bucks to keep it coming.

if PBS just ran Wall Street mega-circle-wankajerk i wouldn’t give them any money, even if someone was about to turn their electricity off.

so, that said:

keep up the good work
remain angry

and know that if i manage to make a couple million some of them will go into making sure people who do what you do



If you’re thinking of prominently saving the Lowry post for posterity, I have one small copy-edit:

It’s “Riefenstahl” not “Reifenstahl” (I even followed the link through to alicublog, hoping that the misspelling was Lowry’s not yours…unfortunately, it’s yours).


Robert: I meant it in a Tennessee Williams sort of way. No distancing implied


And thank you, my friends.


Fixed, IB.

Good suggestions. I especially like ‘Sillebrities’ and ‘Griefenstahls’.


Blingnuts, caught my eye, upstream, but I don’t think it’s the definitive, final, choice on the subject. And, FWIW, my meager contribution is: “Wingnutteratti.”

Like I said, nowhere near a final and definitive word or phrase yet.




Schlebrity (contains half the yiddish word for retard, which would suit Gibson)


This is a little weird, Retardo. The thing is, in my time, I’ve actually lived without a “home” for months at a time. What’s weird, to me, is that while I’ve gratefully crashed on a lot of friends’ couches (and elsewhere, when I felt the hospitality limit approaching) I’ve never accepted money from any of those friends. Let alone from strangers.

So I’ve taken up some of their rented space, but I’ve never reclaimed any of their earned income directly and spent it for my own comfort.

Just as an exercise, do you think you could do a longish post describing the types of work your several benefactors had to do to keep your bills paid (or are they still strangers to you in that regard?)

Honestly, I don’t really think you’re doing anything wrong by accepting charity, but I do think you could benefit from the realization that every donated dollar you spend was actually *earned* by someone, someone doing stuff they wouldn’t do just for fun if they weren’t being paid to do it.

Just because we’re all liberals here doesn’t mean you can regard the money you’ve received as some sort of Virtuousness Grant from an imaginary International Fair-Trade Central Committee.


Zoolanders, because they can’t turn left.




I’m truly disappointed that you would squander donations on nicotine, caffeine, and food, instead of spending the money wisely on hookers and meth…


Hey Grampaw, you’ve stumbled onto one of the quirky characteristics of us crazy liberals. We’ll sometimes give money to a total stranger, no questions asked, just because they need it. Probably not to a dick like you though…


You guys are too good. There’s too many good suggestions. I can’t decide.

Anyone else think Grampaw’s been saving that one up a long time? Funny for a “liberal” to give a such Randroid lecture on money earrrrrned; why didn’t he just call me a “leach” and a “looter” and get it over with?

Hey, Grampaw. Why don’t you spend several summers flagging rice fields with the dusters coating your skin with Ordram and Stam — and be sure to let the sun cook it in because your boss won’t let you go shower it off? Why don’t you wade into hip deep water and shovel-patch levees in 100 degree weather? Why don’t you handle high explosives to blow up beaver dams in the swamps, in the same weather, with 10,000 chiggers and ticks nestling in your crotch and you’re breathing in mosquitoes, while cottonmouths are swimming beside your legs? Or how about laying industrial floor tile all day every day? Or getting those craptastic repetitive movement cramps whilst working in a factory? How about you drive a tractor in 90 degree weather with its cab made entirely out of glass (that you can’t open more than an inch) and no air? Why don’t you get some hydraulic fluid shot in your skin? That’s always fun. Better, why don’t you have a pipewick full of herbicide explode in your eyes? Or how about you mig weld railroad cars together all summer day in a factory that doesn’t even allow fans because it fucks up the shielding gas? Last couple of weeks I’ve spent a considerable amount of time pulling weeds — and the pigweed I’m hideously allergic to, at that — by hand in bean fields. I don’t need lectured on the virtues of manual labor by some reactionary nitwit who lives by daytrading Chicom futures.


Just as an exercise, do you think you could do a longish post describing the types of work your several benefactors had to do to keep your bills paid (or are they still strangers to you in that regard?)

Uh, Grampaw, I got all that loot from working for futures traders. There, now please tell me what the fuck does that change, now that we know what I did to get the loot?

So I’ve taken up some of their rented space, but I’ve never reclaimed any of their earned income directly and spent it for my own comfort

Am I supposed to love you for that or something? Frankly, I was happy to donate some $$$ to the worthy cause of helping Mencken keep his eletricity. Why you always grouchin’ about some dumbass thing?


I’m gonna individually thank by email everyone who donated soon as I can.

And nothing against traders. Grampaw just sucks is all.


Who sez it’s charity? Mencken, and SN, produces a product. They don’t charge up front for it, but they take the time, produce a product, and then say, “hey how ’bout some compensayshion”? What’s the freaking problem. It’s not even a demand, it’s a request. Do you consider it charity if you plunk down cash to buy a magazine? Ugh. Why do I even need to type these words.

Leonard's Getting Larger

Hey, Howard Roark, rather than foist your misunderstanding of markets, labor, and value onto a perfectly reasonable discussion of paying in appreciation for an entertaining and instructive essay on corrosive punditry, why don’t you read a good book (say, about Ayn Rand’s behavior toward Nathaniel Branden when he sought his “self-interest” by tapping some 20-something ass instead of the sagging Rand)? Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to grill this gumball machine to learn where it got the materials I’m using a precious quarter to procure.


Do you consider it charity if you plunk down cash to buy a magazine? Ugh. Why do I even need to type these words.

Because grampaw is an asshole.


I was without intertubes for a week, and my first intention after getting them installed again was to suggest another Wingnut Allstar post. You beat my to it, and for that I’m grateful.


Attention nicotine users:
Cut out the middle-man, give your precious hard-earned money directly to the right-wing authoritarians that own the tobacco industry!

Seriously, liberals that smoke tobacco are paying their own enemy’s salaries.

For example, years ago I had a long conversation with a ‘militant’ lesbian about how her smoking tobacco was paying Jesse Helm’s for his efforts to destroy her life. For every cigarette she smoked, she had to work all that much harder to overcome their assaults on her existence.

Grow you own!


So I’ve taken up some of their rented space, but I’ve never reclaimed any of their earned income directly and spent it for my own comfort.


Taking up someone’s rented space is, in my mind anyway, the same as taking money from him. Your presence deprives him of privacy. You’ve lessened the enjoyment that he gets from something that he has paid for, hence reducing the value of it.

objectively pro-

Maybe Grampaw should jerk off more. I wonder if he realizes how contrived his misdirected righteous fervor sounds. Lame Man nicely summed up what’s really going on so this is just an echo.

HTML, I put a sawbuck in the TipJar a couple of days before yer appeal. I don’t know if any of that finds its way to you but I’m happy to hear things are better now.

As for posterity, has Sadly, No considered something like a yearly omnibus (coffeetablebook?)(yes, on the printed page) published, say, every October for Xmas giving. A “Best of” edition compiling the awesomeest posts, the funniest photoshops, the quippiest threads…

This is where your wingnut hall-of-fame could permanently reside.

Just an idea.


Hey Grampaw that wasn’t charity it was extortion.

In nice easy steps:

1. Spend hours and hours researching and writing wonderful take down of a Rethug Warmongering Bigot.
2. Post said evisceration on the web.
3. Mention starving in the Dark.
4. Threaten no more wonderful vivisections if the darkness comes
5. Profit.

You should be proud Grampaw. Instead you whine about how everyone you knew ended just barely not throwing you out onto the street?

tsk, tsk,…


Well, in the glittering gala galaxy of celebrity, you have your A-listers at the top, then your B-listers, and your C-listers… much further down, usually clinging precariously to a fame they wouldn’t have without their righty views, we have the GOP-listers. Huh? Huh? Huh? Am I right??



Riefenstars would work better.


And Jane and TRex at FDL for being the sweetest people ever

Dude, you’re going to ruin my reputation as a Vicious Unhinged Assassin for the Loony Left if you keep talking like that.

And Granpaw, I made the money that I donated to Mr. Mencken by shoplifting things at Wal-Mart and then taking them to customer service for a refund.


Wow, grampaw. You not only didn’t take cash charity (as opposed to some other kind of charity, glad you made that critical distinction), but you took time out of your busy schedule to tell us all about your purity and dedication to living by your own rules.

I, for one, am certain you didn’t do this in a lame, second-grade attempt to elevate yourself about HTML in some kind of contest being waged endlessly and pointlessly in your head. I am certain you only wanted us to know what a fine human being you are, living by your own rules, eking out an existence on the saliva-stained hardscrabble of of a friend’s sofa.

Believe me, granpaw, my admiration for you simply couldn’t be any higher at this point.


shane's dentist's attorney's bookie

blingnuts is the best one so far.
the ones with ‘germanic’ roots may be more apt, but are less likely to catch on.
you can identify grampaw as a buttmunch by his use of ‘reclaimed’ in place of ‘asking for donations’ or ‘blegging’.
“the use of code words reveals as well as disguises”-charlie chan (great american)


I’m glad that Mencken trusted the rest of us enough to reveal that he had a need and my only objection is that the Amazon system didn’t let me give as much as I wanted to (maybe I should’ve used the PayPal thingie?).

Opens up a larger question, though: how will the Liberal side of the blogosphere keep itself going in the long-term?

The Wingnuts spend a fortune each year on their patronage system. They actively recruit new watercarriers, groom them, and line them up with enough “work” to keep them on the reservation. Our side not only doesn’t recruit this way, it seems to use the lack of potential profit as virture/passion/purity test. People gotta eat and, whatever the benefits of “keeping it real”, relying solely on volunteer free time and energy puts us at a disadvantage.

Think of it this way: D’Souza makes a comfortable living from his second-rate hackery, but Digby has to keep a day-job to stay afloat. Not only is that so wrong on so many levels, it reveals a long-term strategic risk.

So, how do we fix it? How can we make sure that the Menckens and the Digbys of the world are predictably rewarded and supported for their hard work without forcing them to do an “ask”?

Big Kahuna Burger

Blingnuts. Concise, Godwin-safe, represents shallowness and idiocy.
As Jaime Escalante says in Stand and Deliver, “Yep, that’ll do it.”


So, how do we fix it? How can we make sure that the Menckens and the Digbys of the world are predictably rewarded and supported for their hard work without forcing them to do an “ask”?

I’ve been thinking about that too. What if we did some kind of system whereby there would be different groups of bloggers/pundits/writers/humorists identified in various giving ‘schedules’. Sort of like how different 401K plans have different stocks attached. One ‘Schedule’, a socialist one, would have like HTML mencken, pinko punko etc. Another, a ‘general liberal’ one, would have like Digby, Crooksnliars, Tom Tomorrow, etc. People could give to the schedules they chose, or give to people individually. The important thing would be that each schedule would have exactly what people the $$$ went to listed publicly so you’d know exactly who it was going to. Givers would be encouraged to give a certain amount each month, to make the money supply somewhat regular, which is much more manageable, for the reciever, than a ‘feast or famine’ supply that only comes, in unpredictable amounts. Like ActBlue for bloggers, basically.


Until they can figure out how to include big guns, nekid people, and loud explosions, I think the profit margin on blogging will remain marginal.

Many too many people in this country can “Proudly” list on one hand how many books they’ve read in their lives.


Although Rowling has probably pushed that up to two hands.


You’re welcome, HTML.

And Grampaw. I earned the money I donated by doing my frickin JOB, not that it’s any of your bidness. As the glibertarians and tax-allergic are so anxious to tell us at every available opportunity, that money was MINE, to do with as I pleased; and it pleased me to reward Mencken for the work he does and the entertainment I derive from it.

last night i went to see a local band for a record release. I bought their disc, and a t-shirt; and I never ask the guys to be on the friggin guest list because they friggin work their asses off for my entertainment.

I’m sure you think I’m a fool for doing things like that, Grampaw; like I care. Mencken is actually scoring higher than dweebs like Lowry from a meritocracy standpoint; rather than suck off an institutional welfare tit, he’s obtaining money directly from his audience, each one contributing what they feel they can and what value HTML has delivered.

Step off, you old reactionary putz.


I sended u a money. Use 4 catfud 2 plz. Kthxbai.

PS Granpaw r moran. He can has uzed kitteh litter frum me. Eat it cobag! Lulz!


I hadn’t actually noticed the donation link until Granpaw smarmily pointed it out.

Thus, a moneys! for you!


I had been putting off donating, but I’m going to do it now. I was in your position a month or two ago, HTML, and I promised myself that one of the things I would do as soon as things got better was to donate some money to the great people at Sadly, No!

And you know what? I don’t think I’ve ever said this in my life, but fuck you, Grampaw. Fuck you for your sneering, ugly comment, and don’t you DARE call yourself a liberal if you get off on kicking somebody when he’s going through a tough time. We want to help HTML out because he’s a good friend, a brilliant writer, he teaches us things we need to know, and he makes us laugh in hard times. I owe you big time, HTML, and it’s my pleasure to pay up what little I can.


I would certainly pay money to keep Granpaw off my couch, or even better out of my life forever. But I would resent every cent of that wingnut-danegeld.

On the other hand, I gladly gave money to HTML, and only wish I could spare more for him, because he & the other Sadly-Nauts have given me much happiness & consolation.

I pronounce a Curse upon Granpaw: May he someday, however dimly, realize just how much of an arsehole he’s made of himself and how many people would be cheered if he were never to be heard of again!


Any difference between capital G grampaw and the more common lower-cased version?


Spend it wisely, HT (that’s short for ‘HTML Mencken’).

As for my answer to grampaw – I have one word for you. Just one word. Are you listening? Here it is – blowjobs.


An Australian wikipedian eventually deleted it because it referred, allegedly unreasonably, to Steyn being a douchebag.

That’s because “douchebag” is an insult unknown to Australia. The wikipedian probably thought it meant “friend to puppies and moslems,” so it seems fair that so inaccurate an entry should be deleted.


Umm. Australian women don’t….

Or is the equipment somehow…Different?

Maybe something like the toilet water swirling counter clockwise?

AARRGGGHH, there’s just so much I don’t know!!


Fishbone McGonigle

And Granpaw, I made the money that I donated to Mr. Mencken by shoplifting things at Wal-Mart and then taking them to customer service for a refund.

You have no idea how much I hope this is true.


Piggybacking on an above recommendation:


Whacktors and Whacktresses?

Glueminaries? (given what they must be sniffing to keep supporting the GOP?)


Grampaw, you pathetic scumbag, when you were performing on the “couch tour,” did you eat your friends’ food? Use their electricity? Gas? Water? Heating oil? Slip them some money once you were working again & off their couches? Did you do the dishes, run the vacuum, at least clean up after yourself? Whack off in their underwear drawer while they were @ work, earning the money that allowed them to put you up? I take back what I said about your being a scumbag. Scumbags at least perform a useful service.


Many too many people in this country can “Proudly” list on one hand how many books they’ve read in their lives

One of which is the Bible, and most of them haven’t actually read it.

I vote for “blingnuts” until it dies or we find something better.


I think I’d also like to mention that at the time in my life that I was on the ‘couch tour’, I felt obligated to kick in to my friends for groceries, utilities, etc, as well as providing what other amenities I could afford: music, weed, rides.

And that when those friends were later in similar need, I never hesitated to drop a few bones on ’em, treat em to a meal, whatever. there is no dividing line between in kind and cash donations; grampaw may think differently so he can compartmentalize his life and claim to have never taken charity, but in either case you are living socialist; from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.

It’s actually very Biblical.

And I say his, noting that I mean his/her/feline/canine/extraterrestrial.


Blingnuts. Its a keeper.

You guys sure get worked up by ole grampaw. Aren’t you supposed to just ignore the deranged people on the bus?


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