Shorter Judson “Pandas of Mass Destruction” Cox

Terrorists have more rights than you

Muslims in America should be arrested unless they immediately cease engaging in threatening and suspicious activities, like praying and going to Mosque.


Comments: 13


I like the line about “execising my Second Amendment rights” leading to “dead terrorists.” I wasn’t aware that the Second Amendment gave me the right to kill someone.

That opens up a whole new world of interpersonal communication.



“In the course of your watching, you stumble across a Jose Padilla, who was trained to fill apartments with natural gas, and blow them up to achieve maximum death tolls”

I like how the “dirty bomb” theory just vanished into thin air for these guys- we never make mistakes!


Sometimes after a whole day of eating chili and drinking beer, I fill my whole house up with natural gas.


These bastards have the right to be Muslim and I don’t?! Damn them. Damn them all to hell. I’m going to exercise my XXXIV Amendment right to shove a glowstick up their ass until the confess their crimes.


NTodd, is that part of the RAVE act?


I like that second amendment line too. I wonder if he thought that if you shot someone in a room full of natural gas, you ain’t all that likely to survive either.


I liked this quote:

“Also, if untrained, average Americans like me have to take matters into our own hands, more likely than not, some innocent Muslims are going to be harmed.”

Isn’t that a terroristic threat? Can I personally take him down by exercising my 2nd Amendment rights?

Or is someone going to come back with an anti-anti-anti-terrorist threat?


I’ve got an even better idea.

Let’s round them up in put them in camps. You know, concentrate them in one place so that they can be more easily monitored.

I wonder what we would call these camps…

I wonder… wonder… wonder… wonder…


I liked his bio/intro whatever at the bottom of his column:

With a humor akin to P.J. O’Rourke and Dave Barry, and a plain spoken southern wisdom that matches Charlie Daniels, his confrontational style lies somewhere between Ann Coulter and Merle Haggard.

condensed version: “I am a talentless whore and I hope you will think of more famous, accomplished people when you read my unoriginal crap!”


Merle Haggard?
I believe Merle Haggard would disagree with that.


In what universe is being compared to Ann Coulter a compliment?

Hamilton Lovecraft

I hate the 21st century. I can never tell what’s satire any more.


Good article and straight to the point. I don’t know if this is actually the best place to ask but do you people have any ideea where to employ some professional writers? Thanks in advance 🙂


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