Shorter Confederate Yankee
Above: That guy on the Gong Show with the viking helmet
- Wow-oo wow-oo, Wow-oo wow-oo, Wow-wow wow-wow!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
Warning: Do not click the link unless you’re prepared for a long and wackily desperate post that argues with keyboard-poundy earnestness that Mr. Yankee is proven right about every detail of the Beauchamp affair despite the desperate attempts of treasonous liars to spin the truth.
No really, I’m warning you. The next post you see over there might look like this.
Update: If anyone brave enough to read the post has missed the earlier installments in this drama, it’s important to keep in mind that Mr. Yankee is capable of trying to ‘debunk’ the existence of the sun.
Standard techniques include cherry-picking of evidence and wild speculation presented as fact, although when he gets this far down a blind alley, he’s liable to try just any old thing. Beware! Beware!
You know, I found it oddly amusing that confederate yankee begins with
And never can give a good answer to that question, despite wanking on for another 500 words or so.
mmm. smell that Obsession. it’s so manly.
(i’m not sure why Gomer keeps deleting that when i post it over there)
(i’m not sure why Gomer keeps deleting that when i post it over there)
I’m not sure why he left my comment up.
I stopped reading when I got to the sitemeter image he posted to prove the New Republic visited his web site.
For all of 1 second.
That’s quite alright.
OMFG!!!1! Gavin, that is the best blog evar!!!!1!!1!!111!!
What do you mean the next post might look like that? That is what 85% of wingnut blogs already look like!
I never really pegged Chewy to be a right-tard, though…
I kinda wish I’d gone into psychology at times like this.
Just from a clinical point the conservative movement has to be fascinating, usually this level of delusion doesn’t last long in the wild. How do CY and ace manage to clothe themselves and eat and such?
Silly Gavin, the sun doesn’t exist. Every day I see it rise above the surface of the earth in the east in the morning and sink below it in the west in the evening. Yet scientists claim that the Sun (if that is its real name) is millions of times bigger than our planet. How can these two things coincide? They can’t!
UPDATE: After my numerous protests to NASA about the purported existence of the sun, they have declined to comment even though it’s clear from NASA Whirlwind that they have at least aimed a satellite in my general direction recently.
Those determined to distort the facts about this so-called ‘sun’ have no explanation for the moon.
Laughably, they claim the moon orbits the Earth even while maintaining that the so-called ‘sun’ — which oh-so-conveniently goes somewhere whenever the moon is around — is in some kind of bizarre negative non-orbit around the Earth. How can there be the opposite of an orbit?
If they can’t even make up their minds about the definition of the word, ‘orbit,’ then how can we trust their word about anything? Let alone a so-called giant ball of fire that supposedly burns in outer space, where there’s no oxygen.
Its true!
If they can’t even make up their minds about the definition of the word, ‘orbit,’ then how can we trust their word about anything?
It’s an orbituary for these so-called scienticians. And if they know about the sky why aren’t they called skyentists?
t4toby: I thought that site was a joke at first! Shudder!
Look, I took a remedial science class when I was trying to get my G.E.D. I remember the teacher explaining that the so-called Sun allegedly was akin to a gigantic H-Bomb, much like those used by our patriotic troops. Yet over at LGF they have done some interesting research in comparing photos like this with those of the purported “Sun.”
Notice something striking about the two distinct photos. One (the one that is apparently some photoshoped artist’s conception of the assumed Sun) is a gigantic ball of fire, but the other one, the H-bomb that the supposed Sun is apparently based upon is distinctly Mushroom shaped. LGF is all over this, demanding a retraction from the University of Texas and wondering if the Texas Legislature is aware that our tax dollars are going towards such obvious forgeries.
What I’d like to know is why the so-called ‘moon’ resembles a crescent.
If you see what I’m getting at, and I think you do…
What I’d like to know is why the so-called ‘moon’ resembles a crescent.
If you see what I’m getting at, and I think you do…
It means that the Mooninites are terrorists and in league with the forces of global jihad.
1/31/2007: NEVER FORGET!
Confederate Yankee needs to take Remedial Science 1A from Mr. Dondenlinger
The mooninite angle is a good one and brings up this interesting tidbit:
But the late 1960s and early 1970s was also the alleged time when NASA visited the “Moon” repeatedly. NASA openly bragged about bringing back large amounts of surface samples from the poorly named Apollo mission (ed note: Didn’t he fight Rocky??? Comments explaining this discrepancy would be helpful)Yet the government had to increase quotas for cheese despite the apparent new availability of cheap imports from the Moon. Unless this so-called moon didn’t exist, which would mean that such shortages were easily explainable.
It means that the Mooninites are terrorists
Heh. There’s still one of these little guys painted on the wall of the McClure Tunnel in Santa Monica.
OT, but, speaking of Teh Funny, it appears the producers of that flagship of Wingnut comedy, The Half Hour News Hour, just got the Dear John letter.
That’s right, they couldn’t even make FOX News viewers laugh. That’s gotta hurt…
Not only does the sun exist, but it presents the gravest threat to freedom-loving people in the history of mankind. If we wish to continue to live in peace and prosperity, we must destroy the sun, before it destroys us!!!
If we wish to continue to live in peace and prosperity, we must destroy the sun, before it destroys us!!!
Colin Powell would have us send half a million troops to the sun, but we can make do with a fraction of that.
Breaking
Sun not alone, billions of terrorist suns (so called “stars”) all over universe. What is Bush doing about threat…
Every few years, the U. S. needs to throw some crappy little star against the wall just to show the universe we mean business…
…or just because we can. And here the important point– EITHER of these reasons is a good one.
Once again I’m going to pop in here and say thanks for the laughs SadlyNo! crowd. You guys are the shit. I had a little more time this evening so I actually clicked the link at CY’s place and read the comments. Sarcasm, it’s not for the very, very, serious people. I did get an extra kick out of the commentor who questioned Cleeks use of the computer at work time, never giving a thought to maybe Cleek is the boss or maybe, just maybe, gets a lunch hour. In the meantime bush is on what day of his historic vacation time? Irony is not for the very serious people either.
Does no one at CY’s place work a split shift?
Y’know, I was thinking. Why do we even care about these clowns anymore?
I mean, a few years ago, they were speaking for, or at least in support of, a political party that held all the levers of power, had just won a presidential election and had tremendous power available to it, and was spoken of in the press in nothing less than glowing terms. So when they said something foul, evil, bigoted, or just simply stupid, it was incumbent upon us to challenge them, on the premise, and on the merits.
But now? They are the fringe of the fringe, the most ideologically committed members of the 28% club. And even many of the 28 percenters would disavow a great deal of the more batshit narratives provided by these pundits and bloggers. If many of us stopped reacting to the nuttiness in a predictable pavlovian fashion, they’d still bellow their buckets full of stupid into the uncaring void, but who would know?
If a right-wing authoritarian wingnut blogger bloviated in a forest and nobody was around to hear ’em, would they make any noise?
Or would powerline link to them, LGStoopid would link to powerline and drudge would link to LGStoopid, who would link to drudge and one portion of the internet would melt. And nobody would notice.
Just a thought…
mikey
Is there some kind of pool for how many bottles of his own urine CY has in his den? Put me down for… hmmm… 57!
Mikey, we cannot let up. We must snark them into their component atoms, drive wooden stakes through their hearts, etc., so they cannot rise again from their graves. Bear in mind that they’ll get a big boost from being underdogs after January ’09 (only 17 mos.!) & no doubt be back worse than ever, as they’ll have more than us “moonbats” to typographically assault, they’ll have the whole (governmental) power structure set in motion against them, trying to get them to shut up so they can turn over all of Western Civilization to Moozlim sharia!
EITHER of these reasons is a good one
A good case could be made for dispatching troops to the Sun. Should we do that? Well, I don’t want to take anything off the table, of course.
Re the Half Hour News Hour:
Apparently, they’re going to look for some new tools to do the show, since the ones they had weren’t funny.
Confederate Yankee
The filthy stinking hippies at Sadly no say we cannot send troops to the sun, these cowardly defeatocrats claim they will be burned to a crisp!
Have these moonbats never heard of a period of time called “night”?
Ahhh! But the strawberries that’s… that’s where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and ..
Er, turns out that Confederate Yankee made Crooks & Liars “WORST POST OF THE YEAR” for his Christmas Eve 2005 bizarratude accusing Google of trying to besmirch Christmas with … er … Nativity sexual devices.
Details at the link. So weirdly hilarious that you couldn’t make it up!
Bad night for people with “Yankee” in their name.
(HAH WOO GO SOX!)
Sun not alone, billions of terrorist suns (so called “stars”) all over universe. What is Bush doing about threat…
Allahpundit is all over this, Cindy Sheehan is in league with Alpha Centuri, according to sources at the Pentagon. Over at LGF they may have pictures of both Cindy and Al Franken communing with Aliens, the traitors.
I couldn’t click the link. I decided that the meth-heads down the block agrued their points more cogently.
NUKE THE SUN!!!! NUKE THE SUN!!!!
NUKE IT UNTIL GLOWS!!!!!!!!!!!
That option is not on the table. It has been detabulated. I think one of the cats grabbed it from the table and took it away to play with, so it could be anywhere now.
And now a poem made from the emboldenated link words of CY’s post:
/golf clap
Beauchamp is a lying scumbag whose wife works for The New Republic. He is the latest incarnation of that lying scumbag Joseph Wilson.
He appears in many incarnations… yet he is always the same lying scumbag. Joseph Wilson. There can be only one.
[…] posting — and don’t be drinking liquids when you read it — please go directly to Sadly, No! Read the short post AND the comments. Do not pass “GO.” Do not collect $200. (Well, […]
Unlike so many of the left-wing moonbats who yammer incessantly but accomplish nothing, right leaning blogs use FACTS on the ground to back up our position. Let’s look at the latest left-wing media propaganda purporting to show evidence of the existence of the “sun”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNZwrgFo3GE
A careful analysis of this video shows that the alleged “sun” produces enough heat to melt metal. I scientifically tested this thesis by arranging various pieces of metal in my back yard including: copper wiring, stainless steel silverware and a cast iron pot. They were placed under direct sunlight for over 4 hours. The results: NOT A SINGLE ONE MELTED!!! How can the left wing media claim that the sun produces that high of a temperature when I now have indisputable proof that the “sun” produces nowhere near that degree of heat?
In addition I have word via Jeff Gannon that a representative from the Church of Scientology has verified that there is no and never has been a “sun”, rather the orb you see in the sky is a holographic projection placed there several million years ago by a race of hyper-advanced squid. The irony is even with proof directly from the horse’s mouth the moonbats will cling to their ridiculous beliefs, they will continue to hypocritically attack Jeff Gannon because of their loathing of homosexuals.
We are asking for donations so Malkin and Ace of Spades may take a trip to the “sun” and acquire actual video evidence of its non-existence.
That option is not on the table. It has been detabulated. I think one of the cats grabbed it from the table and took it away to play with, so it could be anywhere now.
Yah, I got yer option right here, bud.
I scientifically tested this thesis by arranging various pieces of metal in my back yard including: copper wiring, stainless steel silverware and a cast iron pot. They were placed under direct sunlight for over 4 hours. The results: NOT A SINGLE ONE MELTED!!!
HAH! I made a scale model of the Solar System once in grade school, and oddly enough, the “Sun” WASN’T HOT. Neither NASA nor The National Solar Observatory have responded to emails concerning the idea that the Sun is actually more like one of those glow-sticks than the “hot” “ball of fire” that the MSM would have you believe.
Oh, and my model Sun exhibited NO “gravatational” effects whatsoever. So much for that crazy idea that the planets “orbit” it.
I’m working with scale models of the Saturn V rocket at the moment; all the ones I’ve thrown firecrackers underneath have blown up instead of taking off like in those (obviously FAKED) films. Boeing and McDonnell-Douglas will be contacted with this evidence shortly. Fake the Moon landings, will they?
Y’know, I was thinking. Why do we even care about these clowns anymore?
Mikey:
I get fatigue about it too. Indeed, constantly examining the grubs that squirm when you lift up a rock has appeal, but can get old. When I feel bored, I just stay away for a couple of days.
One thing, even though they are finding themselves opposed by more and more of the population, you shouldn’t forget that their boy is still the the white house, and they still have lots of other connections. They will hurt people again.
[…] posting — and don’t be drinking liquids when you read it — please go directly to Sadly, No! Read the short post AND the comments. Do not pass “GO.” Do not collect $200. (Well, OK, […]
I scientifically tested this thesis by arranging various pieces of metal in my back yard including: copper wiring, stainless steel silverware and a cast iron pot. They were placed under direct sunlight for over 4 hours. The results: NOT A SINGLE ONE MELTED!!!
I did the same experiment using a pair of soiled panties purloined from Michelle Malkin, and not only did all the different metals melt, they also, in their molten state, formed into exact replicas of Hugh Hewitt’s saucy manboobs.
Science. Wow.
You morons in the “Sun Truth” movement have no idea what we’re up against. We can’t afford to wait for the smoking gun that will come in the form of a nova. People all over this great land of the free are coming down with cases of sunburn everyday, clear proof that the Sun’s vile and illiberal ideology is in direct opposition to the Judeo-Christian values that we must preserve at all costs. Creeping Solarfascism is taking over this country by stealth, and all you can do is concoct lamebrained denials. If you all love the Sun so much, why don’t you ask the people of Mercury how great it is to live under Solarfascism’s iron fist? Liberals are all alike. They say we should try to “understand the Sun.” Don’t you realize that when the Sun wins, you’ll be the first to be roasted?
*bat bat bat bat*
Swoosh! Nothing but net!
*bats detabulated option back to Qetesh*
Where’s Mehitabel? Doesn’t she want to play? I know Bobby is probably waiting for the dry food.
Detabulated options rawk! Much better than jingle toys, or even Teh Flying Feather Thing.
Also: If the sun melts things, I would be a molten pool of spotty fur. Obviously, these so-called scientists are totally fabricating stuff about the sun. Someone should yack up a hairball on their ‘studies.’
*bat bat bat bat*
That option is not on the table. It has been detabulated. I think one of the cats grabbed it from the table and took it away to play with, so it could be anywhere now.
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
Yah, I got yer option right here, bud.
The cats are now a nuclear power: god help us all. How long, do you think, until these cat criminals rule the world?
Maybe if all you liberal types had ever had real JOBS you’d know what a THERMOS is! It keeps hot things hot and cool things cool! How do it know? With a VACUUM! Yes, there’s a VACUUM in your thermos! And what is a vacuum? It’s SPACE! Yes, the SAME space that’s between US and the SO-CALLED “sun”!! The heat and cold are terrified of the empty abyss of void so they STAY INSIDE the thermos! EVEN IF this sun-thing WERE a gigantic SCARY BALL OF FIRE, how could the heat ever get to us!??! Hello! There’s a big SPACE VACUUM in the way!!!! Anyone with any logic in their brains knows that JESUS keeps Earth warm, JUST LIKE he keeps ATOMS from flying apart because of their INNER FORCES. All this arguing over WHETHER there’s a sun is just MORE evil PLOTTING by liberal evil to distract from JESUS!!@!
So what kept atoms together before Jesus?
Superglue? twist ties? A powerful sexual longing?
So what kept atoms together before Jesus?
All I know is that it’s atom and Eve, not atom and Steve, hippie.
If the so called “Sun” is so damn hot, why is it colder when you climb a mountain.
Surely if the sun was hot the closer you go to it the warmer you would be, so logically the sun must be a frozen ball of ice.
Take that sun-huggers!
If the so called “Sun” is so damn hot, why is it colder when you climb a mountain.
Because there’s SNOW there. Duh.
“there’s SNOW there”
Heard of PHOTOSHOP hippy!
I’ve seen no evidence of snow on any mountain. In fact, some well-known proponents of the presence of snow on mountain tops recently went on a trip to a mountain, sponsored by the No Snow On Mountains Freedom Association. They came back changed men, declaring that there is in fact no snow on mountains. They even published their findings in the New York Times, a publication famous for promoting the pro-snow agenda, thus proving that the sun’s heat is projected ONLY on the tops of mountains, thereby further making global warming a hippy-induced fraud.
So the “politically correct view is the sun is hot,
Yet the temperature in space (where the “sun” is) is MINUS 269 CENTIGRADE*
Perhaps if you spent some time reading real books rather than Noam Chomsky you might get a clue America-haters.
Heard of PHOTOSHOP hippy!
Dude, I WORK in a photo shop, on a mountain, and I can assure you that when snow falls it gets cold.
Breaking
Michelle Malkin is all over this, as is Ace of spades as Libtard claims to “work” in a photoshop on a mountain.
A reader writes
“I’ve been on every mountain in America and never seen a photo shop, who is this guy trying to kid”
Blackforce military bloggers have been hitting google and found not a sign of this alleged high altitude photo shop,. Mails to the editors of sadly no, the New York Times and CNN have produced no response.
Update
Reader, insaneloony 65, claims a photo shop on a mountain would have few customers as “It would be hard to drive to”
More to come.
It just doesn’t ring true. Anybody that’s actually BEEN on a mountain knows you aren’t likely to find a Photo Shop. Where would they get film? Or chemicals?
I suspect this “Righteous Bubba” is merely another writer with ambitions, who lives in a valley, fabricating out of whole cloth these harrowing tales of photo processing at altitude.
grizzledmountaintopveteranpicturetaker
As for “Snow being cold”
Eskimos, who I assume know more about the issue that some candy assed Liberal, keep warm by building igloos from SNOW!!!!!
Another MSM lie bites the dust.
Eskimos
Look, commie, if you’re going to take the words of Eskimonians over Americans I think we know where your sympathies lie. DEEP IN THE HEART OF AL QAEDA!
Oh no! exposed…….
Breaking
So called “Sonic” , not a real Patriot but in fact an UNDERCOVER TERRORIST LOVING ISLAMOCOMMUNAZI
Ace says “We knew all the time, he didn’t add up”
Michelle “How many more imposters are out there, Charles? Ace? me? Pam…are any of us real”?
Eskimonians are known to congregate around the Al-Aska Mosque!
In fact there is NO SINGLE WORD FOR SNOW in Eskimonian.
Dammit, dammit, dammit, let’s not get distracted like a bunch of Dhimmicrats from the true menace of the SUN! All this arguing over snow is just leading us away from the threat of Solar Hegemony!
I’ve been drawing up some plans for a space-based anti-Sun particle beam since I was in high school, and with a little funding from the DOD and Homeland Security ($38 billion should suffice) I think I can solve this helioIslamic threat once and for all.
(What? You didn’t KNOW the SUN is in league with the Islamists?
Think about it! What’s their symbol? Why, a crescent moon! And why does the moon form a crescent in the first place? BECAUSE OF THE SUN! You see!? You see!? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!)
[…] it not for the courageous efforts of the gentlemen from Sadly, No! I fear all hope would have been lost by now. With their […]
If only Bill Clinton had been more interested in destroying the sun than deflowering underage interns, 9/11 never would have happened.
That Sun is up there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop – EVER – until we are all dead!