Yankee makes the “I could be wrong, but they still suck anyway” mea culpa

“Update: Is Beauchamp merely making a joke above? I admittedly didn’t read it that way, but it very well could be the case.

The first experience most of us had with Beauchamp was with his last article first, and his allegation that he verbally assaulted a burn victim. It doesn’t seem much of a stretch from abuser of the burned to robber of the dead, so I took his comments at face value as a real claim.

I suppose that it is just an indication of just how little credibility TNR and Beauchamp have that it isn’t easy to tell his joking fake claims from his sincere fake claims.”

Yes, TNR and Beauchamp lack the cred there. Ok, Yankee.

Holy shit, that was even worse than I thought it would be.

I guess it’s hard for Gun Counter Gomer to see the jokes when he is one himself.

Googling this winger’s site is really insightful to how these people think and what they believe is important.

Results 1 – 10 of about 93 from confederateyankee.mu.nu for jamil-hussein

Results 1 – 10 of about 54 from confederateyankee.mu.nu for beauchamp

Your search – iraqi-refugees site:http://confederateyankee.mu.nu/ – did not match any documents.

I think that the focus they put on such miniscule errors by the media is a crude but somewhat clever way of distracting from the sheer amount of human suffering their little pet war has caused. It apparently is a successful tactic with the 30 percenters anyway.

Gavin, that’s CRAZY! It seems pretty obvious that Beauchamp was so clueless, so lacking in knowledge that he set out to write about life for a soldier in a war zone and he DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THAT BULLETS ARE ROUND!!

Nope, that seems to be a much likelier situation than the one you so fecklessly describe…

mikey

im n yr 2bz cr4sh1ng yr p4ge

And ace wrote several thousand words in support of CY.
I think they’re an item.

Geezuz, that’s spooky.
To reiterate, i am a different brad.

I posted that just before you arrived, btw. Otherwise I woulda given you credit for the find.

Also, the Cloud of Doom has begun forming over the Red Sox’ season. Feel free to rub it in. I dished it out, I’ll be able to take it.

Gavin, balloon assault rifles aren’t balloon animals, and if you were who you say you are you’d know that. How can we believe anything you say anymore?

Yeah. For that matter, what evidence can Sadly, No provide that Gavin has ever even touched a balloon?

Sadly, No’s credibility is forever tarnished…

mikey

That’s one of the many wonderful things about being a Yankee fan. All we have to do is stay calm and wait. The team righted itself, there’s no need to rub it in. Bosox fans torture themselves far better than I ever could.
Besides, I have to give you credit, you retain your intellect when it comes to talking trash. You acknowledged the Yanks were gonna make a run, n didn’t cream yourself pretending the franchise was about to go in the shitter the way more than a few here did. I’ll save the face rubbing for them.
Also, I’m going to three games at the stadium this week in a family friend’s season ticket seats 8 rows behind home plate, offset 6 rows or so towards third so he can see into the dugout, so I’m pretty gleeful when it comes to baseball right now.

Is this what Beauchamp was talking about?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puckle_gun

Dear God Ace and Confederate Yankee must be fun at parties. They seem to expect humour to be literal truth. You could tell them any tall tale as a joke and they would spend hours debunking it. “Hey guys, I flew in from Seattle and boy are my arms tired.” Ace would go “But your arms are incapable of generating enough lift to get you off the ground. I smell a muslamonazi conspiracy.” and CY would chime in “Yeah, and you couldn’t go fast enough aways, everybody knows that the fastest runner on earth can sprint for about 38 km /h and I figure you’d need at least to do 160 to match a Sopwith Camel.” Then Glen Reynolds would link to both of them and some guy who would put some Lego in a wind tunnel and claim I wasn’t aerodynamic enough.

I contacted Bill Costlow, a former member of CPATT (Civilian Police Assistance Training Teams) now working in the D.C. Metro area, and he confirmed…that: “Muslims have some pretty strict requirements on the treatment of bodies — mostly geared towards respect for the dead and privacy for the families — autopsies are very difficult to get permission for because it’s viewed as desecration and this has been an issue in a number of investigations.”

Confederate Yankee is treading on treasonous ground sharing facts like this. His readers may start thinking Muslims are human.

The Yankee’s will never will a World Series until A-Rod is gone- it is his curse.

Brad, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but: For the sake of your sanity, you may need to choose between reading the Wingnut Wankers and following the Red Sox. While the two entities have little in common, both share an astonishing ability to depress people of normal intelligence.

(The Yankees and the Wingnut Wankers, on the other hand, have in common that, objectively, subjectively, and by any form of measurement, THEY SUCK. Yankee fans and WW readers gradually have both their souls and their IQs sucked right out of them by the enormous suck-osity of the limitless suckiness of their idols. Which is fine by WW and Yankee fans, most of whom have no souls to start with, and the rest of whom are too dumb to understand what’s happening to them. After all, the official Yankee motto is SUCKING BIG TIME SINCE 1939, or so I was told by the nuns at my parochial school in the Bronx.)

Seriously, Brad: Your ongoing health & happiness means more to us, your grateful readers, than even the highest quality of fresh-from-the-farm snark. Pace yourself! Don’t try reading Gates of Vienna Sausages and Ace, Lord of the Pig People within a 12-hour period. Split the (pants)load with your co-bloggers. Take frequent refreshment breaks, stretch, hydrate, and check http://www.icanhascheezburger.com to wash some of the Reichtard scumminess off your retinas…

Could this be Balloon CEO Gavin’s work blog?

Could this be Gavin?

Off-topic, I know, but here’s more evidence that Daily Kos is anti-semitic: they’re making fun of Tommy Thompson for his crack that offended Jews!

Elegy For A Fallen Candidate
by Trapper John
Mon Aug 13, 2007

O Tommy boy/
the polls, the polls are falling/
from Council Bluffs, and down to Waterloo/
the summer’s gone, and your numbers are dying/
because you failed/
to raise money like a Jew/

Whoops, that last line should be a link to this:

http://atrios.blogspot.com/2007_04_15_atrios_archive.html#117674748460610844

Speaking as a therapist, the Balloon therapist is priceless. I want one for my office- the kids would love it. Probably destroy it, but in a loving way. Any of the Sadly’s that need some realty after too much wingnuttia reading, we can talk about a support group.

I resent the smearing of balloons going on here.

And, as the song says, “When you’ve got nothin’, you’ve got nothin’ left to lose.” Might as well grab for the not-so-brass ring.

Ace takes his own advice apparently.

Mr. Cole, I believe it has already been debunked that balloons have no “juice” therefore you have no credibilty whatsoever.

I had my soul surgically removed years ago. Bugger just kept getting in the way of my desire to kick puppies and make babies cry.

35 And, as the song says, “When you’ve got nothin’, you’ve got nothin’ left to lose.” Might as well grab for the not-so-brass ring.

Posted by: Ace at 05:28 PM

Not sure if you’re just misquoting a line from Dylan’s “Like a Rolling Stone” or if you have conflated it with a line from Kristofferson’s “Me and Bobby Magee” (“Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose”). Anyway, Dylan’s line was: “When you ain’t got nothin’ you got nothin’ to lose”).

I would be remiss if I didn’t remind you that Mr. Zimmerman’s attorneys are many and quite energetic; and quoting Zimmy without the expressed written consent of major league baseball is not a good idea.

“You’re invisible now, you’ve got no secrects to conceal.”

Your pal,

Jim
Posted by: jim at August 13, 2007 08:48 PM

Mr. Cole, I believe it has already been debunked that balloons have no “juice” therefore you have no credibility whatsoever.

If by “juice” Mr. Cole means “influence” I and my five-year-old and the cashier at the grocery store disagree.

Mr. Cole, though, should make his enjuicening tendencies clear or be delinked.

The Yankee’s will never will a World Series until A-Rod is gone- it is his curse.

That’s some curse. They won a lot, then they won’t win, then they’ll win a lot again.

I rebuke the demons controlling sports!

Hehehehe. All I know is talking trash has the karmic effect of making the reverse more likely. Besides, all Yankee fans have to do is tell the truth.
It’s true I have no soul, but that’s just like everyone else, because the soul is a superstition that may be metaphorically useful but is empirically make-believe.
I am a spirit, however, but to understand what I mean I’d have to bore the shit out of you with an extended explanation of what I take from Nietzsche.
“We philosophers are not free to divide body from soul as the people do; we are even less free to divide soul from spirit”- Preface to the Second Edition of The Gay Science
“To have a soul is to be possessed.”- Paul Nizan, Aden, Arabie

*is geek*

That is, if you see a used casing with a square indentation on the back, you can be pretty sure that it was fired by a Glock.

WRONG!

I’m actually looking at spent brass that was ejected from a Glock (19), and there is NO SQUARE INDENTATION ON IT. Rather, there is a raised, rectangular section.

And the firing pin isn’t square – it’s round like every firing pin I’ve ever personally seen. The space that the firing pin comes through when striking the back of the primer, however, is rectangular in shape.

Clearly, Beauchamp (and Brad!) was lying!

Snerk. Snort. Balloon therapist indeed!

Clearly, Beauchamp (and Brad!) was lying!

You lie! It was Gavin with all the indentation talk. I am forced to conclude that the firing pin is HEXAGONAL.

From Beauchamp’s article:

We chuckled in the dark for a moment, and then looked out the window into the night. We didn’t talk again until we were back at our base.

I don’t know, something about that last sentance doesn’t ring true. How could two people ride in a vehicle together and not talk? Surely they must have exchanged some words like “Huh,” and “turn here.” and “Man I could sure use a beer.” I think we should press the army for an investigation. And even if it were to turn out that, unlikely though it might be that they didn’t talk again, some serious disciplinary action should be followed, since it’s not right that two soldiers should ride in a vehicle together without talking.

“Chuckling,” he says. We’re to believe soldiers chuckle? Chuckling is for old fogeys or grandpas. Soldiers guffaw or belly-laugh, they don’t chuckle. It’s clear that he’s making this up.

And aren’t zombie dogs’ eyes RED, not green? This just erodes Beauchamps’ credibility further.

Oh, actually, the best thing about it is the headline:

More Easily Debunked Beauchamp Fiction: It Never Ends (Update: Joke?)

Update: Joke?

Oh you elite liberals just disgust me– if any of you secular snobs knew anything about religion you would know PRIESTS, MINISTERS AND RABBIS HARDLY EVER WALK INTO BARS TOGETHER!!

UPDATE: Ace reports that from current voting lists no man can be confirmed as residing on the island of Nantucket. Developing… (h/t Yakov Smirnoff)

P.S. gosh, diff brad, what a shocker that a Yankee worships teh ubermenschen! i do give cashman tons of credit for staying patient– if they win it all he will have really earned it.

yankee fan, i should say.

It was Gavin with all the indentation talk.

Hah! You freaking idiot! There is no Gavin! Honestly, who would have a silly ass name like Gavin!?1 You are soooo naive!

Hah! You freaking idiot! There is no Gavin! Honestly, who would have a silly ass name like Gavin!?1 You are soooo naive!

Naïve? Who here believes that life is all Takin and no Gavin? What a way to make a livin! Firing pins are elliptical!

Zarathustra is overrated. The Gay Science has all the good stuff already, and (almost) none of the bad dramatic stylings.
Besides, the ubermensch is way overhyped, even Nazis aside. In Ecce Homo he basically defines them as people who can get what he’s saying, which is to say he knew he was and would be misunderstood. And he hardly goes on and on about them in works which follow Z.
My interests are in perspectivism, and philosophy as a way of life.

*said he was a geek*

I’m actually looking at spent brass that was ejected from a Glock (19), and there is NO SQUARE INDENTATION ON IT. Rather, there is a raised, rectangular section.

And the firing pin isn’t square – it’s round like every firing pin I’ve ever personally seen. The space that the firing pin comes through when striking the back of the primer, however, is rectangular in shape.

Um, the Glock firing pin (i.e. ‘striker’) does too have a square impression. …Or are you just saying that in a different way?

Zarathustra is overrated.

I like the bit where he meets the pretend Zarathustra and is too disgusted to actually enter that city to spread the good word. It’s human.

Which one of Beauchamp’s TNR articles has the bit about Zarathustra?

Um, the Glock firing pin (i.e. ’striker’) does too have a square impression. …Or are you just saying that in a different way?

Sorry, it was (apparently) lame ass right wing parody. I was picking on the very technical error in what you said and pretending it somehow discredited you (or Brad, since it seems I can’t read all that well).

By technical error, I mean that the rectangular shape on the primer of a round shot through a Glock is raised, not an indentation (convex, not concave, with respect to the overall surface of the primer).

I’ll just be quiet now.

Beauchamp actually is Nietzsche.
*waits for ace to quote above as proof Beauchamp therefore isn’t actually a soldier, and that God isn’t dead*

God isn’t dead. He’s pining for the fjords.

You did fine, phleabo. Gavin (assuming he exists at all, which is in question) is just high on the Hippy Crack from all those balloons.

Sorry, it was (apparently) lame ass right wing parody.

Ah. my bad. You made me go double-check, in any case.

Why a 19 rather than a 17? Concealed-carry sort of thing?

Nehamas’s Nietzsche: Life as Literature is really good on Nietzsche’s perspectivalism– how everything is perspectival, including perspectivalism itself (which is not by that fact contradictory or incoherent).

*right there with you*

Back in the Humvee, Hernandez started talking to me without looking in my direction. “Man, I’ve never seen anything like that before,” he said.

“Esse est percipi,” I quipped..

Something inside of me — call it ‘soul’ — fought for possession and then died.

He was right. What else was there to do now but perceive?

We chuckled in the dark for a moment, and then looked out the window into the endless night.

Yeah, pretty much concealed carry.

I practice with it, but the Glock isn’t really my favorite. I can shoot it fairly accurately at about 10 yards, but the trigger still feels a bit odd to me, and I find the way it gets noticeably (for me, anyway) top heavy when the magazine isn’t completely full to be a little annoying.

Nehamas is a major influence on where I’ve ended up, and the Nietzsche I study wouldn’t exist without Life as Lit, but I disagree with Nehamas on a crucial point. He seems content to allow aesthetic considerations serve as the criterion for judgment between perspectives, but I think that’s a non-answer that leads back into relativism.
My answer is still developing, but I lean more and more on Richard Schacht over Nehamas. I think the key is the will to truth, which, unlike the will to power, Nietzsche actually had a theory of. But I iz in schools so i can has sez that better.

And just to not make any heads explode, by will to truth i mean will to non-deception. Truth is contextual, period. Honesty, however, isn’t.

I like the bit where he meets the pretend Zarathustra and is too disgusted to actually enter that city to spread the good word.

In my imaginary movie version, you can tell the pretend Zarathustra by his goatee beard.

In my imaginary movie version, there’s a scene where Zarathustra finds Tony Stark’s Iron Man armor and uses it to save the village from the robot armies massed around it, with a soundtrack by Buckethead and Bill Laswell.
….. what?

Zarathustra finds Tony Stark’s Iron Man armor

Look up there! The Overman!

Back in the Humvee, Hernandez started talking to me without looking in my direction. “Man, I’ve never seen anything like that before,” he said.

“What? an assault rifle made of balloons?” I asked.

“No, man, zombie bloggers. That shit was wild,” he said, laughing.

Something inside of me fought for expression and then died. He was right. What else was there to do now but laugh?

“I took his brains,” I said.

“You did?” questioned Hernandez.

“Yeah. He wasn’t using it.”

We chuckled in the dark for a moment, and then looked out the window into the night. We didn’t talk again until we were back at our base.

All ur drive to base are belong to silence.

Balloon Therapist, can I borrow your necktie?

In my imaginary movie version, there’s a scene where Zarathustra finds Tony Stark’s Iron Man armor and uses it to save the village from the robot armies massed around it,
ADB’s imaginary movie is the 2005 re-make, with lots of crappy CGI. My imaginary version is the 1972 original with Christopher Lee as both Zarathustras.

God isn’t dead. He’s pining for the fjords.

Look, I took the liberty of examining that Messiah when I got him home, and I discovered the only reason that he had been standing upright on his cross in the first place was that he had been NAILED there…

Zarathustra finds Tony Stark’s Iron Man armor and uses it to save the village from the robot armies
I could cope with a compromise version where Zarathustra is played by Bruce Campbell, and saves the village with the help of a chainsaw and a steam-driven Oldsmobile.

Even if Iraq had an organ donor program, everybody knows DOGS CAN’T READ! So there.

You say that’s a balloon assault rifle, huh? Then how do you explain those brown stains on the tip? I think the only thing be assaulted with that “rifle” is Gavin’s ass.