Wingnuttery
The Baron Bodissey posts the following disturbing news from a Russian correspondent who reports that violent radical Islamists have made a secret alliance with degenerate violence-hating hippies. Let’s read, shall we?
Recently we have observed an unexpected convergence of the Left-pacifists with Islamists on many issues. However, if one looks critically at the Pacifist movement, one will find many resemblances between that and Islam. Those resemblances may point at intrinsic ideological similarities between both movements.
I can’t wait to see where he goes with this. Hardcore Islamists are against drinking, drugs and women’s rights; hardcore hippies like to get high and boink a lot. Something tells me there’s not going to be too much common ground here.
However, the important difference between the two political movements is that Islamism has its principles in writing, whereas Pacifism has not developed any final version of its principles. UN declarations can be thought of as rough drafts, but they haven’t achieved their final form yet.
So one key difference is that one group has a set of principles while the other one doesn’t. Got. Cha.
Below I have listed some of those similarities:
1. Islam requires Jihad, which is the struggle to spread Islam all over the world. Pacifism requires struggle for Peace all over the world.
And McDonald’s requires the struggle to sell shitty food all over the world. I guess Grimace and the Hamburglar are part of the Muslamohippiesatanonazi cabal as well?
“Robble-robble… death to America!”
2.) Islam does not respect borders between the countries. “Peace” is also a “movement for eliminating borders”.
Know who else doesn’t respect borders? Ding! That’s right, Mexicans! Brilliant! This follows in a long, proud wingnut tradition of making everyone they don’t like into a Grand Alliance to Destroy Western Virtue! Can tales of Islamomexican homo nups be far behind?
3. Islam implies there be no conflicts between Muslims will but conflicts with non-believers are required. Peace means stopping conflicts between those who “believe in Peace”, but continuing the struggle with those who “do not want peace”.
Uh, I think this alliance could be in trouble then…
4. Muslims are “peaceful people”, but their struggle is accompanied by and always leads to the destruction of the attributes and institutions of a secular state. The Peace movement by its definition targets the attributes of state, first of all the military, symbols such as flags, and deliberately involves a conflict with police.
OK, so wait. The Muslims hate secular government, which gives them a common cause with the hippies, who like secular government, but enjoy burning the flag or some shit like that? What the hell is going on here?
5. Islam calls for creation of the Caliphate, the one and only state for all, where conflicts will be solved on the basis of Islamic teachings. Pacifism also calls for creation of the “World Government”, which would wisely solve all conflicts basing on the principles of Peace and Justice.
“Also, hippies hate bathing and Muslims smell! Bwah-ha-ha, I has made a funny!!”
6. One of the often-cited meanings of the word “Islam” is “peace”. [Actually, for peace stands Arabic world “salaam”, but vowels in Semitic languages are not parts of the root and are not grammatically significant.]
And I’m sure the average stoner who passed out on his couch while listening to Phish bootlegs has an intricate knowledge of the Arabic language.
7. The primary meaning of “Islam” is submission. Islam requires everybody to submit to some written rules, which are final and cannot be discussed. Peace, in its Western usage, means a (written) treaty with the enemy, to which both sides submit. However, Pacifism is not as much about some specific peace treaty with any particular enemy, as it is for some abstract Peace, without even a specified enemy. So, it calls for submission to some implied treaty with unspecified enemy. Since that enemy is not named, the treaty actually requires only our submission.
God, I’m picturing a bunch of goose-stepping hippie chicks dressed in tie-dyed hijab and chanting, “YOU VILL SUBMIT TO PEACE FOR ALLAH, JAH?” The world of wingnuttery is a scary, scary place indeed, friends.
8. hookah pipes
Is there an insanity hall of fame? Because this is its Barry Bonds. I.e., it had to cheat because it is mathematically impossible to be this fucking stupid. The Baron’s steroids are a hammer to the brain. repeatedly.
Both have long hair and don’t shave…..
Both think the baron von douchebag is a flippin’ moron…
“However, Pacifism is not as much about some specific peace treaty with any particular enemy, as it is for some abstract Peace, without even a specified enemy. So, it calls for submission to some implied treaty with unspecified enemy.”
Uhh, no, it means, “hey, let’s not bomb shit.”
By this logic, Imperial Japan and America are one and the same. Dude! Both sides were building warplanes and infantry at insane rates. Both sides wanted to gain control of the the Pacific islands. Both sides used racially-charged propaganda regarding the other. Hell, many of Japan’s ships were built by England. They were practically brothers.
Jihadists would bludgeon hippies to death with their own bongs.
Does the Baron think Midnight Express is love story?
As Kirsha, the cafe owner in Naguib Mahfouz’s Midaq Alley points out, hashish is not forbidden by the Koran while alcohol is, yet hashish is illegal and alcohol is not.
Sounds like a hippie to me. Plus, he was a homo/pedophile, so toss them in too. Hey, this is easy!
Now lets do feminists!
Another way they’re similar:
When hippies say
“However, the blackness of black gold blinded his sight and his perception and he gave preference to private interests…”
they’re talking about hash, not crude.
Pacifism has not developed any final version of its principles.
..and yet, we know for sure that it calls for one world government, treaties with nonexistent people, and burning flags.
It’s funny how Teh Baron equates “the struggle for peace” with violence.
I’ve often wondered what it must be like to have a worldview like this – not researching anything, but sort of herding people into these amorphous, mushy groups of Those We Like and Those We Hate and farting out incoherent essays about it all.
I’m sorry, this is still more plausible stuff than they regularly cranked out about Hillary in the 1990s. Bar codes on stop signs, black helicopters, CIA kidnapping kids for mind control sex experiments, tracers in our minerals to track our eating habits…
…All you had to do was tune it to one of the 2nd tier militia shows, you know, the ones which made Bill Cooper seem to be on the respectable side of nuts.
God…after I get done with a rant about Ace o’ Spades latest at alicublog I find this. How fucking stupid/delusional/willfully blind/ignorant are these people? I know I know, a rhetorical question if there ever was one, but sheeh! The most grating part about it is that they think of themselves as great intellectuals. Like they are great cutting edge thinkers, mocked by Philistines and evil-doers who fear the blinding light of The Truth. If the Baron and Ace represent the leading lights of “The West” then the Caliphate is less like a great fall and more like a lateral move.
Quick! Needs hippie-Muslim octopus photo encircling the globe!
Or a better version of the above sentence in comments!
What’s crude? That black resin that builds up if you don’t clean your pipe often enough?
Hey, hey hey! …George W. Bush…and Hitler… and that guy at the record store… and my dad… are all totally fascists… cuz they are always telling you to not do stuff and to do stuff and trying to run your life and shit… when all they have to do is just chill… no, wait, let me explain it better…
To be fair, it is not BB raving here, but “Dimitri K., our Russian correspondent”. A cynic might suspect that some cruel person is taking advantage of BB’s credulity.
I hope PsycheOut has an alibi.
Actually, for peace stands Arabic world “salaam”, but vowels in Semitic languages are not parts of the root and are not grammatically significant.
So the dude doesn’t know shit about Semitic grammar. I guess it shouldn’t surprise us, considering “for peace stands Arabic world”…
For the record, though vowels are not a part of the root which consists solely of consonants (ok, glides too), they are grammatically significant.
And “islaam” doesn’t mean “peace”. Never did, doesn’t now and as long as there is a copy of “Lisaan al-Arab” around, it never will.
Vowels are not grammatically significant in Semitic languages?
“Now lets do feminists!”
The ones with hookahs and Phish bootlegs? I’ve got your back, comrade.
Oh goodie, it goes on:
The primary meaning of “Islam” is submission.
OK, so far so good.
Islam requires everybody to submit to some written rules
So, how is that different from, say, the rule of law or Christianity or Dungeons and Dragons?
FYI, that submission is submission to the will of God. And it’s voluntary. There is no forced baptism in Islam, you have to pronounce the shahada and fucking mean it. So there.
Aw shit, now you’ve gone and objectified them. I’m out, man, I’ve seen what happens next.
Islam requires Jihad, which is the struggle to spread Islam all over the world.
Yes, I hate having to walk past all of those Muslims on street corners, trying to hand me the Koran, and convert me and make me live like them.
Verifiable proof!!!!!
“Arabian wind, The needle’s eye is thin, The ships of state sail on mirage,
And drown in sand, Out in no-man’s land where Allah does command.
What good is spilling blood? It will not grow a thing;
Taste eternity the swords sing: Blues of Allah In ‘sh’Allah.”
—- Words by Robert Hunter
— Music by the fuckin’ hippy Grateful Dead
6. One of the often-cited meanings of the word “Islam” is “peace”. [Actually, for peace stands Arabic world “salaam”, but vowels in Semitic languages are not parts of the root and are not grammatically significant.]
Gee, and here he goes and makes an anti-Semitic remark. ‘Not significant’, indeed!
Islamists like to kill.
Pacifists like to chill.
Islamists want to submit.
Pacifists want to take a hit.
Islamists are over there.
Pacifists are everywhere.
Dude.
This is the kind of terrible, careless, lazy, pseudo-political science writing that must make college TAs throw up when they have to read it.
Worst essay ever.
Ok, I’ve learned a great deal about me today. I’ve learned that my overarching priority, the single thing that informs my worldview, is my hatred for flags. I see a flag, I’m flickin my bic, bay bee.
But the most important lesson here is that peace is bad. Just like islam. But we knew islam was bad, we’ve had everyone from Little Green Charles to Goldberg to Medved to Cabbage Mullet to Our Lady of the Apostrophe tell us so. But now we find out that peace is just as fucking bad. It’s a dreadful state of affairs, and is to be avoided at all costs.
So the next time you’re standing at the bus stop, and you think to yourself “damn, what a nice, peaceful morning”, pay attention. That’s truly an “Oh Shit!” moment. Turn to the nice lady on your left and kill her. Then call some arty in on the starbucks across the street.
Whew. That was CLOSE, dude. Peace almost got us. Again…
mikey
I’m sorry, this is still more plausible stuff than they regularly cranked out about Hillary in the 1990s. Bar codes on stop signs, black helicopters, CIA kidnapping kids for mind control sex experiments, tracers in our minerals to track our eating habits…
I think the Baron still takes the Golden Nutbar. He is actually describing the difference between two things and telling us this proves they are the same. That’s not just a greater degree of stupid, it’s on another plane entirely. The anti-Clintonistas were just repeating lies; the Baron is defying simple logic.
The Baron has nowhere to go now but Taoist (“That which is one is one, and that which is not one is also one”).
Islam requires everybody to submit to some written rules
So, how is that different from, say, the rule of law or Christianity or Dungeons and Dragons?
D&D is a tool of the Islamohippiegeekofascistinauts?
I am totally gonna kill my cousin Justin for buying me that dice set with the 20-sided die. It was obviously a ploy to get me hooked on this insidious conspiracy to undermine our nation’s youth and make sure they never, EVER, get laid.
Er, I think I’ve said too much.
Bye now.
HAS to be a joke, right? That could almost be a Jon Swift post.
funny story, a treaty that we as a society must follow that has no external interlocotur goes by another name: laws.
you’d think that this guy hit the heights of insanity right here, but no, as highlighted above:
the implication here? that peaceniks are going to go to fucking war on your asses if you aren’t into peace, just like jihadis.
i don’t think he knows what “peace”, “jihad”, “islam”, “the”, or “.” mean.
…and at the heart of it all, The Clenus.
Hidden in his secret control VW bus parked in the Mecca Whole Food’s parking lot- The Clenus Commander gives orders to hippys day muslims alike
“a Russian correspondent”
In Russian, mir is meaning both “peace” and “world.” So when Soviet used to say “we want mir!” they were meaning conquest of entire world! Just like khippi Muslims!!
Emergency, emergency, everybody to get from street…
I like this logic:
Meat-eaters and vegetarians are really the same because they both EAT stuff!
Pro-choice and Pro-life advocates are the same because they both want to change the laws about abortion!
Marxists are the SAME as capitalists because they both are trying to change the ECONOMY!
This logic is absolutely hysterical.
Pro-War = Peace movement because they both hope to affect the world.
Secular government = fundamental religious theocracy because they both want to affect the government.
I’m actually shocked he didn’t suggest that since both movements are made up of “people” they must be the same.
6. One of the often-cited meanings of the word “Islam” is “peace”.
Let us remember that Moe was making the peace sign when he plowed Curly in the eyes.
2+2 = 5, cause they’re all numbers!
The Great Gazoogle reveals that ‘Dimitri Kolb’ has written many other posts for The Cakes of Vienna, all of them equally… ummm… tendentious. Or do I mean contentious? Don’tmentionus? Something like that.
Come on d00d, stick to pwning Conservapedia. Taking the piss out of Cakes of Vienna is too easy. Like dynamiting fish in a barrel.
Someone needs to whap this guy over the head with an Intro to Logic textbook. A big one.
Islam implies there be no conflicts between Muslims will but conflicts with non-believers are required.
Here be morans.
Pacifism also calls for creation of the “World Government”, which would wisely solve all conflicts basing on the principles of Peace and Justice.
I think Dmitri has been jerking off to his Left Behind dvd’s again.
[…] idiocy of the pro-war right, in two sentences: Islam requires Jihad, which is the struggle to spread Islam all over the world. Pacifism requires […]
I tried to post this at the Gates site:
The Passover meal is called the “seder.” The meaning of “seder” is “order.” Order is a prime obsession with fascists. Therefore, Jews are Nazis.
Too unfair? Too large a leap?
How about “Therefore, Jews are similar to Nazis”? Yeah, better.
Like dynamiting fish in a barrel.
Not so easy as you might have heard. You wreck all your barrels, the fish are inedible chunks and you end up soaking wet with barrel-shrapnel embedded in your thighs.
Umm, or so I’ve heard. I wouldn’t be so stupid as to actually TRY it…
mikey
pch1013, nice The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming! reference.
But isn’t this only slightly worse than Dinesh D’Souza? The same smug premises, the same debate-club superficial analogies (and the same disingenuous, or just plain stupid, unawareness of how invalid it all is), the same self-serving triumphant conclusion that has nothing to do with the real world?
How do these people know how to operate a computer?
OK, Mikey, change of metaphor. It’s like picking low-lying fruit off a baby.
By the way, that “Come on d00d” was directed at ‘Dimitri K.’, who has his tongue so far in his cheek that it comes out his nostril.
That’s.. god, that’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever read. He took the widest, loosest interpretation of two philosophies, and then cut out all the actual correct bits, so that there’s some crazy Venn diagram in his head where, as long as you ignore what words mean, he has totally proven that A = B because of.. made up shit. Seriously, this is the guy who tried to use math and debate skills to convince his date she should give him a handy on prom night.
If I think about this too much, it will draw me into its world, and madness will follow. If it wasn’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college!
“Robble Robble…Death to America”
hilarious
Mikey, you still haven’t called me to schedule that followup procedure to take that bit of barrel banding off your scrotum.
To steal a line from the novelist Len Deighton:
“Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man, Communism is the exact opposite.”
Here’s my fave:
Well, kiss my grits. Where do I start?
Peace, by definition, is written?
Notice how he throws in Enemy and Submit into this ‘Western Usage Definition’.
I’m with ounce here. Just trying to wrap my brain around the logic threatens the stability of my neurons. I’ll end up like the sailors in that old movie about the USS Nimitz and Pearl Harbor and a time vortex. Melted half-way into the deck…
gaba gaba DIE?!
nah, don’t work.
Baron Bodissey, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent statement were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
“And I’m sure the average stoner who passed out on his couch while listening to Phish bootlegs has an intricate knowledge of the Arabic language.”
is that a dig?
And I’m sure the average stoner who passed out on his couch while listening to Phish bootlegs has an intricate knowledge of the Arabic language
Well, if the Islamofascists and weirdos like Ace would just listen to 6/18/94 UIC Pavilion, especially the amazing Maze, Divided Sky and especially the Peaches>Bowie, the world would be a much better place, I’m sure of it.
Signed,
HH, proud hippie, proud Phish fan
How fucking stupid/delusional/willfully blind/ignorant are these people? I know I know, a rhetorical question if there ever was one, but sheeh! The most grating part about it is that they think of themselves as great intellectuals.
The motto of the Reichtard Special Olympics is “Higher, Faster, and with More Words!!!1!!!”. Remember how there’s always one kid in the fourth-grade class who “craftily” deduces that he can fulfill the homework requirement for a one-page essay by repeating the same sentence over and over again? Especially if he increases the font size? Well, under the Gates of Vienna Sausages, instead of getting a failing grade (and possibly a note to his parents), this kid would be proclaimed a GEEENYUS!!!1!!
P.S. If you’ve ever watched Dubya being questioned — not something I recommend on a full stomach — you know where the Gate-roids got this impression. The way Commander Codpiece sits back & smirks when he’s managed to pronounce a word with more than 8 letter correctly is enough to drive every unfortunate teacher who’s ever tried to dent the bone-deep Bush stupidity to drink.
Wow. Wowowowowowowowowowow. Ow.
The guy’s gotta be pulling a leg, or pulling something. I mean, that can’t be serious, can it? Can it?
Well, if you check out the several comments starting with this one, you’ll find something quite similar.
The article was about Iraqis being united to keep the Western buggers out of their oil, but this guy seems to think that applied maths is Satan’s buttocks. Both of ’em. I can’t figure it out, but it’s just as convincing as this one. And, and, it uses more long words.
Oh, man… this is some really bad shit. The Muslim maniac guys are gonna start getting on the radio and playing Iron Butterfly while they recite passages from the Koran backwards and stuff.
This is putting me through some changes.
Bloody Pacifists. Atlantica has always been at war with Pacifica.
“Pacifism requires struggle for Peace all over the world.”
So doesn’t that mean that pacifism requires people to fight?
Must.not.bang.head.on.wall.
What if we told this guy that war was peace? Would that blow his mind?
Essay Comparing Islamofascists to American Conservatives.
by me
1. Homosexuals.
2. Anti-secularism.
3. Abortion.
4. Creationism.
5. Theocracy.
6. Violence.
7. Xenophobia.
Done.
7. The primary meaning of “Islam” is submission. Islam requires everybody to submit to some written rules, which are final and cannot be discussed. Peace, in its Western usage, means a (written) treaty with the enemy, to which both sides submit. However, Pacifism is not as much about some specific peace treaty with any particular enemy, as it is for some abstract Peace, without even a specified enemy. So, it calls for submission to some implied treaty with unspecified enemy. Since that enemy is not named, the treaty actually requires only our submission.
You know who else requires submission to written rules? Police. also Firefighters. I remember when I was a kid, like every class in my district got a stern lecture from a local fire marshall after a fire at one of the homes in the school had a pretty destructive fire because a kid was playing with matches.
THE HEROES OF 9/11 ARE IN LEAGUE WITH THE ISLAMOFASCISTS. IT ALL MAKES SENSE.
God, I’m picturing a bunch of goose-stepping hippie chicks dressed in tie-dyed hijab and chanting, “YOU VILL SUBMIT TO PEACE FOR ALLAH, JAH?”
Whoa, that’s really turning me on.
Recently we have observed an unexpected convergence of the Left-pacifists with Islamists on many issues.
Would that be those violent Left-pacifists he’s talking about?
Bar codes on stop signs,
God, this is a new one for me. What the fuck was that about?
Oh, dear God YES! The good ‘ol days of the black helecopters! I remember them well! The Council on Foreign Relations, the Trilateral Commission…. those were the days when an enemy was an enemy, and stockpiling cheap Chineese ripoffs of AK-47’s was the one sure way to keep the UN out of your hometown.
I’m sorry, I just get so nostalgic for the 90’s. Islamohippiefacists? Please. Give me some New World Order any day!
pch1013, nice The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming! reference
Agree
I’m making a tie dye burka to wear to protests from now on.
Hey, I’ve just noticed that Republican and Reich both have “ic” in them. That means they’re just ‘zackly the same, don’t it?
Well, it wouldn’t be one of the examples I’d use, but yes.
And begin with “Re”.
After reading this, it seems increasingly clear that in Wingnut World, there is a clear Us and a clear Them (the “them” can be gays, blacks, women, atheists, Mexicans, Iraq, Eastasia, etc), and the concept of “peace” as a state of not having wars or hatred is utterly foreign to them. He can’t imagine the concept of peace as anything more than an non-aggression agreement with an enemy who you hate.