Barr0rzzz is In Yr B4s3Ba11 H0m3rin 0n A11 YR D00dz


Gavin adds: These flames of contention make such a pretty light!



Comments: 52


Is this some kind of inside baseball post? I remember going to a Senator’s game with my dad, back in the 60s…


Walsh … gone. Barry … done. Give me my night.


OK. I’ll keep ‘the hey you kids, get offa my lawn’ to a barry minimum.


That’s okay, ittdgy! Kids offa the lawn is cool … I just want to savor this for a little bit without the recriminations. A lot of nostalgia all folded into this one night for me. When Barry broke down thanking his dad … just a wonderfully terribly sad and touching moment … I lost my own dad when I was only five … forever a hero to me … I missed the best times with him … he missed them with me … that’s enough, I’m back down to the pub.


I think I’m going to barf.


Bonds is the single greatest player I’ve ever seen, period. Glad to see him break the record.


Wait a doggone minute here. Are you telling me that a baseball player with a history of steroid abuse broke a homerun record? Wow, I’m pretty sure that has never happened before. This must be big news.


God bless you, D.A., and you too Barry, 756!
And now let us go , rather flee, before the heavy tread of HTML Torquemada brings the dread office of the Holy Inquisition to SN and SF, and all is made fit for the Holy Church and its vengeance. Aieeeiii!!ii!E!


How do you say “rat’s ass” in French?

Seriously, isn’t it football yet?


OK, another sports themed item. I’ve been waiting to link to this sports site for quite some time. It’s hee-larious. (Though you won’t find anything about Barry’s accomplishment there, oddly enough.)


You know, normally this wouldn’t perturb me. But my view of questionable successes in sports has been soured since I showed up at the Tour de France last month and everybody started haranguing me about some stupid “No cars” rule.


Kingubu, bable fish says “l’âne du rat” which is, while technically correct, probably much too formal for your contextual usage.

Je ne donne pas un âne du rat.

Wait. I don’t think it translated “rat” into anything. Well… just say it really ponce. Roll the r.

5 years of French 1 finally pay off, baby!


need… more… shit… injected… into… arm…


This sounds like the message that was recently piped into my instant messenger program. It was:

«1337h4x» im in ur base, killing ur d00ds

I’m calling Chertoff, now.


I bet the President of Canada is going to congratulate Barry Bonds on this.

(And Barack Obama is proof that you’re not automatically smart if you can make a few good speeches)


The actual “frog” for “I don’t care” would be je m’en fou. A better translation of “rat’s ass” would be cul du rat, but “rat’s ass” is idiomatic, to say the least, so it wouldn’t translate too well. A for effort though, Some Guy. And rat is rat, in many Euro languages. (Never forget that “Boca Raton ” is Español for Rat Mouth.)


And Gary Ruppert is proof that you’re not automatically smart if you can make a few comments.


Sadly, this is probably the last bit of good news that Giants fans will see for a while, given that Bonds will probably retire at the end of the year, and he’s one of the younger guys on the team. What with Sabean having signed and traded for all these elderly players, the only thing worth watching the Giants for for the next few seasons will be the bi-monthly retirement ceremonies.


…and calling the Canadian Prime Minister the “Canadian President ” is proof your not smart at all:)


Guess what, the Nationals still won last night!

OT, but funny in a sad way: When you start analyzing kids’ movies in right vs. left terms, it’s time to get some fresh air.


Liberals are biased toward stupidness, its axiomatic. And they want us to be invaded by foreigners.


I’ve noticed since these hire-a-troll PR companies have come about that S,N! seems to be more infested than usual.

And that makes me wonder: Gary, as an old-timer, do you get more than the 20 cents a page that starter trolls make?

Hysterical Woman

At least Obama can make some speeches. Whenever Bush speaks off-the-cuff, he sounds like he has brain damage.


The fact is, until I got the fax from the RNC this morning I though the leader of our northern neighbor was called The Grand Vizier of Cannuckistan.


I’m just glad that A-Rod is only about 7 years away. I imagine that the rest of the Giants team, and the Giants organization is kinda bummed about not being on live television every night. The Bonds marketing scheme reached absurd heights last night; during commercial breaks they had a split screen which just showed Barry “preparing” for his next at-bat, i.e. Barry’s fat head sitting in the dugout. Now we can FINALLY get back to relevant baseball teams – like the Yankees who will not be stopped (until they meet a team who can pitch).


I swear, this post, and the earlier, ‘top 5’ post, could possibly be the gayest things ever written on this website.

How the eff would ya’ll know if Honus Wagner was a great, ‘top 5’ hitter?

That’s like saying, ‘in my list of ‘top 5’ greatest political debaters, I pick….Alexander Teh Great! And Genghis Khan! Boy, that Genghis shore could orate up a storm…

Stick to politics. And snark. Your baseball kung fu is weak. Your snarky is much with strong!!!1!

oh yeah, I also LURVE the ‘Barry Bonds is the greatest player I’ve ever seen – period’ coment.

Fucking eediot.

Based on what?

I guess you never saw Pete Rose play the stickball, huh?

Bonds – good hitter, possibly great – MUCH better posterboy for encephalitis.

that is all.


And they want us to be invaded by foreigners.

Ah, yes, there’s something to stay up nights fretting about, the massed corps of dusky al Qaeda fighters armed with pipe bombs and boxcutters poised to invade the continental US.

Thank god we’re spending money on ballistic missle defense so we can… um… something or other.


Axiomatic, Gary?

Are you taking ESL classes?


Thank God the record has been broken–our long national nightmare is over and now the healing can begin. Seriously, what a shitty summer for sports all around. Benoit, Vick, Donaghy, the fucking Beckhams clogging up my TV, and X-Men villain Apocalypse breaking baseball’s most beloved record.

I hope he appreciates the horribly awkward situation he’s put us all in. Now everybody has to root for friggin A-Rod?!? I’m pretty sure he was the runner up to John Edwards in the “Biggest Douche in the Universe” competition.

Everything sucks.



I grew up in Cincinnati. Pete Rose couldn’t hold Bonds’s jockstrap. And, at least arguably, he’s actually a worse human being.

Also, please acquire a crowbar and pry your head out of your ass.


actually, seasons around the world are about to start for infinitely superior and totally drug-monster free football, footie, soccer, the real thing. everywhere. on earth. 188 leagues i believe. there’s been one drug scandal of note in history (apparently players on juventus were getting some kind of blood doping in the mid 90s) and otherwise it’s just guys running and using skills in order to try to win a game.

no TV timeouts, which can be disconcerting for an american (when will i have time to drink my beer and fart?). no coach outlining plays for players who have played the game all their life (love the last minute of an NBA game–30 minutes of real time gone on timeouts and fouls and bullshit). no 3 minute break followed by kick off into the end zone followed by further 3 minute break. no manager coming out to change a pitcher for one at bat (gotta get lefty v lefty!!!!!!!!!!!) so one pitch takes 10 minutes. no NASCAR. none. no fucking helmets and guys dying at 46 with shruken brains.

american sports are seriously stupid. and i grew up loving the yankees/knicks/rangers/giants. fuck ’em all. Come on You Spurs!!!! (and no, they ain’t in San Antonio)

PS i enjoy both gary’s inability to spell and the correction of him that had “your” wrong. good stuff.


A baseball thread simply would not be complete without the requisite soccer snob.

I keep forgetting that 0-0 draws between Bolton Wanderers and Fulham are supposed to be some kind of high art.


B*nds deserves two asterisks after his name: one for the Vitamin S that turned his head into a pinata, one for the ridiculous body armor he wears every time he steps in the box. One shudders to think what Gibson or Drysdale would have done if some juiced-up scion of privilege had stepped in wearing a goalie’s pad on his arm. I take great satisfaction in knowing that he will serve out his career in the MLB backwater that is the SF Giants. An organization that has abandon all pretense of earning a Championship deserves a second ballot wife beater who has abadoned all pretense of integrity. I’m just glad he hit this one at home, so that he didn’t have to use his son as a human shield on his way around the bases.


Can’t we all just get along?


From an objective standpoint, soccer may be the greatest sport in the world. I love it, but I’m not objective … I love baseball a lot more.

American sports aren’t “stupid”, just different. Any sport that requires skill and discipline, when played by the most skilled and disciplined, is watchable … I’ve enjoyed watching badminton matches in the past.

There’s also the fact that I have absolutely no sense of belonging to Tottenham or any other Premiership club, or to any other club around the world. I can only enjoy soccer as a detached observer, which is nothing compared to following my home teams.

But, yeah, soccer’s awesome. There’s plenty of room for other sports, though.

Bart:”How come you never took us to a soccer game, dad?”
Homer:”I…. don’t know.”


Oh, and Robert Green might want to check this out as well:

I love soccer but please take your Euro-pretension and… well, you know.


What the hell is it with soccer fans? Why does it infuriate them so much that other sports exist, and that Americans just don’t care about soccer?

The NFL World League / Europe endeavor was a total fiasco, and demonstrated conclusively that no one overseas cares about American football. How did this affect me, as an American football fan? Not one fucking iota. I couldn’t care less whether Europeans want to watch the sport or not. I was never even minutely invested in the success of that league. It has no impact on me or the enjoyment that I get out of the game. I CERTAINLY don’t need to troll around the internet with a pissy little chip on my shoulder, self-righteously whining about people who don’t appreciate the greatness of my sport. Who gives a fuck? Watch your soccer–nobody’s stopping you from doing that. The American public doesn’t owe your sport any more attention than you owe American sports.


Bouffant, the stupid on that site burnzzz.


Ok, it’ll sound redundant. But that’s ’cause we just did this same deal on saturday when he hit 755.

It’s on my TV. It’s entertainment. I LIKE baseball. I don’t WORSHIP baseball. This concept of “Teh sanctity of the game” is not only imaginary, it borders on mental illness. If you couldn’t enjoy the high theater that was the fifth inning last night by the bay, under the lights, the emotion, the passion, the RUSH, well, then I question whether you are truly a sports fan, rather than perhaps a wannabe statistician?

Rhetorical question for all the bonds haters. And I don’t really wanna hear your answer, because I suspect you’ll be dishonest with yourself. But ask yourself the question, and privately reflect on the possible answers:

What if Barry came to MY team in ’93? What if he’d been the centerpiece of the Red Sox, or the Royals, or the Reds, or the Mariners all those years? Is it just even a TINY bit possible you’d feel differently?

Oh, and let’s bear in mind that there’s at least a pretty good possibility that when a-Rod breaks the record (if he can stay healthy – a big if, just look at Griffey) he’ll be wearing…

…Wait for it…

A San Francisco Giants Uniform…



What if Barry came to MY team in ‘93? What if he’d been the centerpiece of the Red Sox, or the Royals, or the Reds, or the Mariners all those years? Is it just even a TINY bit possible you’d feel differently?

Of course they would, but that’s not really evidence of anything. I mean, I’d be proud as all hell right now if Barry Bonds were my son, too. Projecting a situation onto your hometown team subtracts objectivity, it doesn’t add it.


What I wanna know is, what the heck is the deal with the rabid fetishization of the baseballs associated with record-breaking or other significant events? I read that #756 could fetch $300-500K … and whatever ball turns out to be the LAST dinger by Bonds will go through the roof, as it were.

I just don’t get it.


What if Barry came to MY team in ‘93? What if he’d been the centerpiece of the Red Sox, or the Royals, or the Reds, or the Mariners all those years? Is it just even a TINY bit possible you’d feel differently?

Nope. Not everyone is like Giants fans. St. Louis is basically disowning McGwire, even trying to get the highway they named after him renamed. The principled anti-cheating folks are in their baseball lives Cardinals fans, Yankees fans, Orioles fans, Cubs fans, even a few A’s fans, etc. Just because some people can’t see beyond their own (perpetually mediocre) team for the good of the sport, doesn’t mean everyone else does.


“If you couldn’t enjoy the high theater that was the fifth inning last night by the bay, under the lights, the emotion, the passion, the RUSH, well, then I question whether you are truly a sports fan, rather than perhaps a wannabe statistician?”

I think that is the problem Barry created by his personality. I was geared up to watch the event, and I did. Hell, I’ve bought tickets to ball games JUST to see Bonds hit a homer (and he did; it was cool), but when the moment hit I was like, “oh. Well, I guess that’s it, then.”

Frankly watching Roger plunk Alex Rios in defense of A-Rod was more exciting to me than Bonds’ homer. I didn’t think I would be uninterested BEFORE it happened, but that’s the way it worked out. It’s not the roids; it’s the fact that’s he’s a pompous, self-important, hypocritical asshole, and he always has been.

I can’t wait until it’s broken by A-Rod, Albert, or whomever else.


Nope. Not everyone is like Giants fans.

Hmm. It ALMOST sounds like you’re saying that ethics or the lack thereof in a given population are determined to a large degree by geographics.

That, my friend, is something I have a hard time accepting.

I know people from this coast who are deeply moral, ethical people. And I know at least one guy from Missouri who’s an utter creep. He’s up in pelican bay serving 10, in fact…



My beloved Mets had at least one steroid user help them get to the NLCS last year and Guillermo Mota stands out only because he got caught. And you’d have to be a sucker not to have strong suspicions about guys who out of nowhere pitched way above their heads, Kenny Rogers, Jeff Weaver, Jeff Suppan. And does any Cardinal fan really think Albert Pujols has put up #s like he has over the first years of his career just through hard work and superhuman talent? I don’t like Barry Bonds either but making him a scapegoat for the whole steroid era is just ri-godamn-diculous.


If any of you have heard rumors about me releasing The Bases are Loaded (And so are the Players), a song about the Bonds (perhaps Pyrrhic) victory, they are probably true (Yeah, like I’m really that famous, or that infamous enough to have rumors circulating about me!?).

Like so many of my songs, I don’t know whether the end result will be “strike three,” a “foul ball” or a home run, but I’ve stepped up to the plate, and I’m getting ready to swing.


From Juan Marichal to Barry B*nds, anyone who knows baseball knows how just how classy the Giants are. Maybe Dave Eckstein will invite Barry over to look at, but not touch, his WS rings.


When Barry broke down thanking his dad …

His dad got him the steroids?  Wow, way to narc out your family on national television, dude, I used to have some respect for you.


Break this record, Barry!!!:

The Bases are Loaded (and so are the Players)
words and music by Dr BLT copyright 2007 Smash Records


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