I once saw Eric Byrnes pull a fan down from the right field wall so that the cop could catch up to him. That image kind of reminds me of every Michelle Malkin post, and subsequent 37 updates and links back and forth to LGF and Kurt at Flopping Aces.

Charles Krauthammer certainly does belong on another world and I’d be willing to take up a collection to send him there.

{Bush}will have us back to where we belong — on other worlds.

Mission accomplished. This planet’s been [an]other world since January 2001.

You know you’ve fallen far as a commentator when you have to take up “it’s OK for astronauts to fly drunk” as your daring, counter-intuitive argument.

Going to the moon! Moon ride, moon ride!

Who’s he trying to kid? Half his readership thinks we never even made it to the moon.

What did Dave Chapelle say, playing “Black Bush”? “That’s right – MARS, bitches!”

Bjorn-again Crustians need to leave sail away from this vale of tears to establish yet another, on another planet…Kinda like an extraterrestrial version of Tom Monaghan’s “Ave Maria,” under a bubble looking out onto turbulent ammonia skies: A Gerry Anderson joint (though trading burkhas for bodysuits) for disaffected Chrustians…

I wonder if any of the astronauts do acid on their missions.

So, they’ll pay for excursions to the moon, but not one dime for infrastructure here ?

Well, I guess — now that the End Times are on — there’s not much point in planetary upkeep. Just good money after bad.

I hear Iran has a program to go to Jupiter.

So, what then… we’re in another Great Space Race? But this time we’re trying to beat the Mooslims to Mars? Or are we spreading Democracy to other worlds now…?

Only a dazzling intellect such as Krauthammer’s could try to squeeze George W. Bush into John F. Kennedy’s suit.

Blame also belongs to the idiot politicians who decided 30 years ago to abandon the moon and send us on a pointless and endless journey into low Earth orbit.

Yes, all the other nations of the world are mocking us for our low Earth orbits. The shame… the shame!!

Well, teh moonZ by definition, is closer to God. It only makes sense that we should utilize all of our national resources to work toward making sure that the most Godfull of our people, i.e. those who tend to be Republican, white, male, Christianists (and their attractive girlfriends), are safely and comfrotably delivered to its surface.

If I was an astronaut who drank heavily, I would wear diapers…

Sorry, I’ve been pissing people off over at Jim Henley’s blog and neglecting all of you. My most heartfelt apologies.

In all honesty, one of the issues that I seem to vociferously differ from hardcore lefty cant on is space exploration. As an SF fan from childhood on, I happily support putting more money into space exploration. It’s hardly a boondoggle; the technology we created during the Mercury and Apollo programs specifically for space exploration has had innumerable priceless spinoffs with extremely useful applications down here on Earth. It ain’t just Tang; literally thousands of alloys, plastics, synthetics, and devices developed for use in space are used every day in literally hundreds of thousands of ways to make our lives easier here.

Where we may be able to agree is on the fine print; the Cheney Administration wants to pump up space exploration again for two reasons: (a) military applications and (b) because it’s nearly as easy to siphon taxpayer money out of NASA procurement as it is out of military procurement (which makes sense, given that the neocons basically see space exploration as a military program). I’m adamantly opposed to military development off-Earth… but would happily pay higher taxes to send a non-military expedition back to the moon, or off to Mars.

Of course, it may be that public funds shouldn’t be earmarked for space travel. I personally believe there’s a great deal of potential profit waiting out beyond low orbit for the first person to get there and slap up a claim check. On the other hand, if there’s anything I trust less than a government, it’s nearly any corporation. So, all told, I really don’t mind the idea of government spending tax dollars on space exploration… I just don’t want THIS government doing it.

Goddamit, why haven’t we impeached these shitbags yet?

Krauthammer is right, that stuff we have in orbit, like the Hubble telescope and all of our weather/climate sattelites are totally useless. We should go to the moon so we can…uh…go to Mars.

BTW, I agree with Doc. NASA is ripe for sweetheart deals to subcontractors since there’s only 2 or three to pass work onto.

So, what then… we’re in another Great Space Race?

Osama bin Laden is planning to go to the moon and make it a permanent crescent.

I have some business cards I had printed that say I’m a “Freelance Astronaut” on one side and an “Independent Philosopher” on the other. Now, if I can enjoy a few cocktails while philosophizing, doesn’t it stand to reason that I should be able to do so while flying space missions? I mean, a little logical thought here would be nice, people…

mikey

Osama bin Laden is planning to go to the moon and make it a permanent crescent.

Ahahahahahahaha.

Fellow Americans, our way forward is clear. We must nuke the moon before Al Qeada can set up a forward base from which to attack us with impunity and spread their jihad to Mars.

Anyone who says destroying the moon is “off the table” is dangerously unserious.

Isn’t Chuckles worried that if astronauts get too high up they might see — and worse, report — that the Earth is round?

Or would they just hire loyal JebusNauts to send back photoshopped pictures of a flat square earth with the sun orbiting it?

…while drunk?

Step 1428- Initialize oxidizer fuel pump #4
Step 1429- Initialize oxidizer fuel pump #5
Oxidizer fuel-pump Initialization completed

Step 1430- Breathalyze crew station #1
Step 1431

If you sit there long enough, you might see something you’ve never seen before.

You mean like a wingnut making sense? I’ll believe it when I see it.

That’s such a classic Krauthammer paragraph. It starts out threatening to be a controversial piece of sense-making, then veers off into insanity. “Populist politicians fucked up the space programme by only funding pointless manned missions. What we really need is manned misssions to the moon! And Mars!”

Hey, Charlie, do you realise there are other types of space mission, like probes, telescopes and experimental satellites, that do incredibly valuable and inspiring science?

YES!!!1! Fuck this “low Earth orbit” shit, with its pointless-ass “communications” satellites frequently “needing repair” so we don’t descend into a “new Dark Age”. The MOOON is where all the action is!

I wonder if any of the astronauts do acid on their missions.

Now that would be far out.

Yeah! who needs geosynchronous comm sattelites when you have Mars, all covered with beautiful, beautiful red dust, and no atmosphere?

It’s amazing to me how many people share this infantile attitude of Krauthammer’s that NASA is somehow there to entertain or “inspire” us, and that this is why we’re spending $16 billion in taxpayer dollars. Therefore, the fact that NASA is now boring to him means that it isn’t doing its job. He goes out of his way to deride the most important thing NASA does: study of the earth from orbit. Who cares if it’s scientifically meritorious and crucial to our understanding of the ecosystem? That doesn’t put asses in the seats! We need men on Mars because that will make an interesting story for about half a news cycle between Lohan arrests!

Honestly, if you just want to be entertained, why don’t we dump $16 billion in taxpayer money into Michael Bay’s pocket and have him make an overblown mega-blockbuster ABOUT people going to Mars? What would the difference be?

Hey I’m all for space exploration, boldy going where yada yada yada and so on, but the US government is down to using its Discover Card- all our other cards are maxed out AND the roof and driveway needs fixing, the kids need to see the doctor and Daddy keeps giving money to his buddies while they drive around in the desert looking for a place to drive thier new jetskis and … and…

crap- metaphore just threw a rod

Wingnuts don’t have the patience to sit around and wait for “science” to observe the universe around us. They have no time for looking inward and outward in an attempt to understand how and why things work the way they work. After all, it’s a blasphemous question really; only GOD knows these answers, and to pretend to be even capable of gathering an understanding would be just …

What we REALLY need to do is put good white, Christian men on the moon and on Mars so that we can chant “America, FUCK YEAH!!” (with zero hint of irony) on totally celestial bodies. How fucking bad ass would that be?! Let’s see the faggots, the French, and the Islamocommies pull that off! HA, they can’t! USA USA USA USA USA!!!11on3eleven11!.

Look, going to the moon, mars, Gliese 581 c, whatever, it would be cool, and certainly some good would come from it. But sorry, we can’t do it.

We don’t need space exploration. Science serves only one purpose. WE NEED WEAPONS! More weapons. Better rounds. Higher explosive. We need multi-role all-weather stealthy assault rifles. We need unmanned flying stealthy weapon delivery platforms. We need artillery that can put rounds on target from a hundred miles out with a CEP of less than one meter. We need ships, and tanks, and smarter bombs, and omygod, don’t forget SUBMARINES. We need a LOT of submarines, ’cause those al Quaeda fuckers are likely hiding out under the sea. We need nuclear hand grenades, we need to develop directed energy and particle beam weapons. We can’t be wasting precious resources going to other planets when we can’t even effectively lay waste to this one.

Priorities, people, priorities…

mikey

We need men on Mars because that will make an interesting story for about half a news cycle between Lohan arrests!

Not really, considering it’s a 6 month trip each way. I highly doubt the public will stay interested for that long.

I read somewhere that if we had a base on the moon, it would cost in the neighborhood of $8,000 for a bottle of water. Hardly seems cost effective.

I read somewhere that if we had a base on the moon, it would cost in the neighborhood of $8,000 for a bottle of water. Hardly seems cost effective.

Is that not in line with current war spending?

“Join NASA! Fly Rockets! Walk In Space! Visit Other Planets….
….and destroy them!”

Actually, I’m with doc Nebula.

For the 12 billion a month we spend in Iraq, not to mention the slop in the normal military budget, we could have fixed our bridges, visited Mars, and put up a Starbucks on the moon so you can buy 8000 dollar cups of coffee, forget about the water.

Reading right-wing lunacy, much like following baseball or birdwatching, rewards the patient. If you sit there long enough, you might see something you’ve never seen before.

Birdwatching is a time-honored and worthwhile pursuit. Some day, a bird may actually fly into range of my fuzzy faux sheepskin window perch, and I shall slay it. Unless the window is closed, in which case I shall give myself a concussion. Again.

Krauthammer, along with many other right-wing lunatics, IMHO, should probably be put into a space vehicle piloted by drunken astronauts and shot into the sun.

I wonder if any of the astronauts do acid on their missions

Ecstasy. Then, weightless orgy! Tell me THAT wouldn’t raise NASA’s ratings…

My biggest gripe with Team America was the way it started out as a brililant satire and then got bogged down into meaningless contrarianism by the Matt and Trey’s mindless hatred of liberal celebrities.

Oh, and also, the way that it’s way too easy to take the movie as being completely serious and miss the whole fucking point.

This reminds me of that Simpsons Halloween episode when the Earth was in the process of destroying itself and they put all the worthwhile people, i.e. Lisa and a bunch of egg-heads and star athletes on one rocket; said rocket took the worthwhile people to a nice new place for humans to cultivate. All the losers, i.e. Homer and Spike Lee, however, were placed on another rocket shot straight towards the sun.

It reminds me of the end of ‘Alien’ where Sigourney shot the alien out the door, and it tried to climb up into the exhaust, and she hit the gas and fried the fucker.

I’m pretty sure we’re all clear on how Chuckie fits into both increadibly well-recounted stories.

All the losers, i.e. Homer and Spike Lee, however, were placed on another rocket shot straight towards the sun.

See also “The Marching Morons”.

or kind of like the telephone cleaners who were sent to Earth to escape the giant Star Goat. oh wait…

I wonder if any of the astronauts do acid on their missions

Clearly you turned 2001 off before the last third.

As a NASA follower, I have to defend the agency. For what they create and pass on to civilian companies – for free – it is an extremely cost-effective R&D arm for the nation. The mainstream press seems to delight in every public misstep, but let me remind you that the Space Shuttle program lost it’s way under Republican leadership and remained lost under Jimmah Carter’s.

18 billion a year? That’s nothing for the amount of R&D that comes out of just one of NASA’s research centers. There is quite a bit of science that you and I use every day (who developed fuel cells? NASA. Who co-developed highly efficient batteries and charging systems> NASA) that simply wouldn’t exist if not for the rigorous demands of our space program.

Yeah, we should fix what’s wrong at home. But if we stopped sponsoring wars all the time, we might have the money to do that _and_ explore the potential of LEO and moon landings for science.

I’m not sure Travis’ point is that NASA is unworthy, but rather Dr. Strangelove mocks their mission as too uninspiring and quotidian for such a masculine country. After all, if real men want to go to Tehran, THE BUTCHEST MAN ON EARTH wants Mars. It’ll make it easier to nuke everyone else and then he can help repopulate the race (conservatively, there’ll be a 10 – 1 male to female ratio) without having to live in mines.

Or rather, 10 – 1, female to male ratio.

Your joke mileage may vary.

Jay B: Or, as the woman said: Hey, if they can send a man to the moon, why can’t they send all of ’em?

Krauthammer, along with many other right-wing lunatics, IMHO, should probably be put into a space vehicle piloted by drunken astronauts and shot into the sun.

Not cost effective. Just force him to watch Queen of Outer Space over and over, Clockwork-Orange-style.

Incidentally, sci-fi writer Charles Stross’ post on why space colonization is bullshit is interesting.

Ugh. The link thingie didn’t work.

Stross’ piece is here:
http://www.antipope.org/charlie/blog-static/2007/06/the_high_frontier_redux.html

Are you trying to say space colonization isn’t neato?

Let’s get Chuckles drunk and launch him and his wheelchair to Mars.

Are you trying to say space colonization isn’t neato?

Actually, I myself am a space colonist. My high school was not on this planet.

The flag of piracy flew from my mast, my sails were set wing to wing

I hid in the clouded warmth of the crowd, but when they said “come down” I threw up

–Bruce

I’m with Doc. I grew up getting excited about space, and remember as a wee girl being sent home from school to watch the moon landing on telly (I also remember thinking “So what? Haven’t we already done thing?” Well, I was only 5 at the time). But it’s also true that the space race has been/will be misused as a part of the appalling weapons buildup. As if the US couldn’t turn the entire planet into a small glass marble already.

we need to develop directed energy and particle beam weapons

This line reminded me of this line:

For our intelligence warns us that he intends to steal your Overthruster. If he should attempt this, we will have no choice but to disrupt world-wide electronic communications, and fire a particle beam weapon from your airspace to Smolensk, in the Union of the Soviet Socialist Republics.

which was delivered with serious mien and a marvellous Jamaican accent in one of the grooviest films of all time, Buckaroo Banzai.

Hey, Buckaroo, you forgot your ‘thruster…

The lightshow sequence in 2001 was so stupid. I don’t remember if a fast-forwarded through it or not.

Also, the closest I’ve gotten to psychedelics is being offered pot by a scummy guy on a ferry.

See also “The Marching Morons”.

I’ll heartily second that one, RB, and raise you Stark, in which the morons send themselves (sadly, not before trashing the entire earth in the process).

Ben Elton fans like moi will also know of the mini-series based on the book, which was filmed mostly in Australia. My uncle and his wife even appeared for a second, perhaps even two, as extras: two millionaires leaving the sinking ship. That’s what comes of living in Coober Pedy when someone wants to film something in the most god-forsaken dusty hole on the planet.

Ms. Woman. If I may. Drugs are drugs. They alter your sense, they make you feel better, they make you eat all the cookies and fall asleep. Sure.

LSD is genuinely different. If you ever, even now, get a chance to experience REAL LSD, not some stupid fake thing, but the real deal, please, trust me, grab that chance. If you have not visited that place, you are not seeing the whole world. It’s litterally the difference between the Flintstones and Star Wars. Your mind is craving a way to make those connections, to find that place, to be more than it is. It’s not about getting high, that’s like getting drunk, you just do it because you’re sad, or bored, or angry, or whatever. It’s about the greater potential within you.

You think all the innovation of the ’70s and ’80s in northern california was some kind of fluke? Hah!

mikey

I’m digging the argument, though. That it was okay for them to get drunk cause the work was so boring.

I’m working on my department’s year-end report. Can I have a drink?

“Blame also belongs to the idiot politicians who decided 30 years ago to abandon the moon and send us on a pointless and endless journey into low Earth orbit. The Bush administration has sensibly called an end to this nonsense and committed us to going back to the moon and, ultimately, Mars. If his successors don’t screw it up, within 10 years NASA will have us back to where we belong — on other worlds.”

Oh. My. God. Do you know WHY we stopped going to the moon? Because there’s NOTHING ON THE GODDAMN MOON WORTH GOING TO! It’s fucking floating rock in space. It does nothing. It yields nothing. It’s completly impractical to get there and back. It’s not a fucking stepping stone, it’s a goddamn Giant Space Death Speedbump. Bitching about stopping moon landings is like whining that we stopped looking for the Northwest Passage. Or, “Gee, why don’t Generals land on the Philippines anymore?”
On other worlds? If we left right now, like, seriously, take off T-minus next week, then maybe we could get the Mars. It’s ~57.6 million kilometers away. A geostationary orbit moves at 3.1km/s. Assuming you managed to leave orbit at the same speed, it would take over 210 days to get to Mars. And that estimation is purely the work of quick math and inaccurate numbers. The actual trip would certainly take longer. Though, why one would want to is another mystery, as it would certainly be a one-way trip, with no real gain, vague goals, and massive high risk. We have a hard enough time landing basketballs on other planets.

….I can’t stand people who have no fucking clue what they’re talking about. Politics and foreign policy is one thing. That’s at least mostly theoretical. But this shit is hard facts and numbers. Goddamn.

LSD is genuinely different. If you ever, even now, get a chance to experience REAL LSD, not some stupid fake thing, but the real deal, please, trust me, grab that chance.

I agree. It requires planning though.

C’mon Some Guy, if we just wanted to, we could do Single Stage to Orbit, and all this wouldn’t matter anymore. Hell, there’s nothing we can’t do. Jesus told me.

America. Fuck yeah!!

mikey

“Righteous Bubba said,
August 4, 2007 at 1:30

Are you trying to say space colonization isn’t neato?”

It is, in fact, neato. Just simply not within our current grasp. Think of it like packing up your rucksack, piling into the canoe, and paddling your way from California to Easter Island.
Yeah.

Hah. Mikey, there’s no doubt in my mind that you’ve BEEN to Mars, and beyond. Maybe you could save us all a lot of time and money and just write a book about it?

“Oh, wow, I AM Metaluna!”

Think of it like packing up your rucksack, piling into the canoe, and paddling your way from California to Easter Island.

Possibly not the best example, since there is evidence that around 1300-1400 CE the Polynesians were paddling from Easter Island to South America, putting a few sweet potatoes in their rucksacks, and then paddling back again. Mad bastards. But I know what you mean.

I’ll heartily second that one, RB, and raise you Stark, in which the morons send themselves (sadly, not before trashing the entire earth in the process).

For some reason I keep IQ 83 around, which doesn’t deserve the high rating given at the link, but is nevertheless a lot of fun.

Preview is not much liking the link so here:

http://www.amazon.com/IQ-83-Arthur-Herzog/dp/0595276091