Shorter Jackson Diehl

Pistachios At Guantanamo

Above: Deputy editor, Washington Post editorial page

  • Having been serially fooled by every discredited White House claim regarding the War on Terror,* I am without suspicion that my visit to the surprisingly kind-hearted and pleasant Guantanamo camp was in any way stage-managed.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

* Ken Silverstein writes in the April 29th issue of Harper’s: “[T]he Post’s resident foreign affairs guru has been wrong on just about every key issue surrounding the Iraq war. Make an inventory of every cliché ever uttered about Iraq by war advocates, every hysterical charge of the global threat posed by Saddam Hussein—you’ll find them all in Diehl’s writings.”


Comments: 19


You know the funny thing, even if it wasn’t managed and cleaned up, people like him would only see what they wanted to see anyways.


[…] beltway journalist is the biggest bitch queen of all fails to hold my interest at the moment, amusingly presented though it […]


You know, it would be nice if the word “credulous” came back into fashion.


You know, it would be nice if the word “credulous” came back into fashion.

“Back into fashion”? Hell, that’s Dubya’s target market!


Credulous: just another word for the kind of person who would team up with Fred Hiatt.


Wouldn’t that be deliberately and deviously credulous? Hey, that almost rhymes with nebulous!

He’s received a signal from above and he’s passing it on to the peons: Everything at Gitmo is hunkydory. Moral qualms are no longer operative.


Speaking of Fred Hiatt, did he write something st00pid today?

Given the slimness of their victory and the voters’ pronounced anger at Washington, they had a mandate…

Slim victory. Mandate. Is our Hiatt learnin’?


So American women in dangling bracelets and slinky skirts tempt the prisoners with pistachio nuts and the sweet milk of human kindness?

Those swarthy desert n*ggers can be waterboarded, and scalded, and electrocuted, and they don’t feel a thing! In fact, I think they might enjoy it! But give them McDonalds, Harry Potter, and the coy smile of a white woman and they will be fighting for OUR SIDE soon!


I have heard that domesticated turkeys – the sort that grace our Thanksgiving tables – are so inbred that they are functionally retarded. Farmers supposedly have to keep rounding them up to bring them inside when it rains, because they are so stupid that they tilt their heads back to see what’s falling from the sky, and drown when the rain runs down their throats. I see that one made it over the fence and secured a spot on the WaPo editorial staff.


“Farmers supposedly have to keep rounding them up to bring them inside when it rains, because they are so stupid that they tilt their heads back to see what’s falling from the sky, and drown when the rain runs down their throats.”

Hmm, “Diehl” … “Riehl.”

I think this is pretty clear.


There’s even one in the White House!


At this point I only read the editorial page of the Post for the Tom Toles cartoon and EJ Dionne. The Post still has some good reporters and does some good stories but damn, the editorial staff is so far up Bush’s only their feet are visable now.

Alas, the alternative for me as a daily paper is the OTHER DC paper, the Moonie Times (shudder). At least the POost has a great comics section…


One of the many things I find astounding about Guantanamo is that they occasionally turn people loose (as they did recently) after years of confinement with no charge–after having decided that they did nothing, know nothing and are not a threat–and the Right still doesn’t get the problem.


…the Right still doesn’t get the problem.

That would be primarily due to the fact that fat white dudes in suits have never been incarcerated without due process. As long as that only happens, not just to brown people who are so stupid they can’t speak english, and who are scary, inherently evil muslims at that, but brown people who make no contribution to the accumulation of wealth and power by those fat white guys, I don’t expect to hear any significant outcry.

“Please don’t kill me”. Heh heh heh…



Partly what Mikey said. Plus:

the Right still doesn’t get the problem

I think that they actually do, they just don’t care. Why?

1) It allegedly shows “them” “who’s boss” and that we “mean business”

2) People who care about the rights of almost any accused (excepting the Mikey Caveats) are allegedly just criminal-lovers and jihadist-lovers

3) It looks cool and feels many when Jack Bauer does it, plus “they do it too”

4) Just like how some people vote against their own interests in favor of rich slobs, the underlying assumption being that Joe Redneck and Drunky McClownshoes will one day too be a billionaire and wants to be safe from the Death Tax, these same people want to keep safe their alleged future right to engage in personally putting the smack down on foreigners
5) Just as a great many sports fans will condone dirty tricks and cheating by the players of their home teams, a great many Americans will gladly excuse ANYTHING the gov’t does to allegedly benefit America—up to, including and far beyond things that we’d take as causes for war if inflicted upon America—provided, of course, that the administration in power is relatively aligned with their own ideological leanings

Hysterical Woman

Makes me think about when Jane Fonda visited Hanoi. Nope, no torture!

Qetesh the Abyssinian

We’ve had two Aussies return from Gitmo: one (Mamdouh Habib), after 3 or 4 years, with no charge, and one (David Hicks, a whitey) after 5 years after being charged and convicted of some pissy made-up offense.

We saw pics of one of the guys returning, and the poor sap looked like hell. Our weasel, arse-kissing gubmint didn’t make a single peep to get the blokes back: they just swallowed whatever the US government fed them. Sickening.

Jebus, Hicks’ military lawyer even said that Hicks wasn’t getting a fair trial. This is a major in the army, mind you, the same army that’s charging, trying, and convicting the fucker, and he’s doing as much as he can to get some justice, and our own pathetic fucking prime monster just bleats that Hicks is a turr’rst and is getting the very model of a fair trial.

Ptooie. Secondhand prime monster, going cheap. But wait, there’s more: one foreign monster, a totally irritating git, at no extra charge. Hell, I’d pay you to take ’em away…

Herr Doktor Bimler

Qetesh is kind of minimising the sheer moral squalor of the Australian prime minister, because if she came out and told you what a verminous ratbag he was, you would think she was exaggerating. Basically, rather than seeing himself as a representative and exponent of the Aussie population who elected him, he has decided that his true loyalty lies with the US government, and he has been quite happy about admitting this.

This is how it works in the case of David Hicks: of the actions of which Hicks is accused, none are actually illegal under Aussie law. You might therefore think that Howard [Aussie PM] would be lobbying on Hicks’s behalf. But no, to the contrary, Howard lobbied against an Australian citizen, asking that the US continue to hold him at Guantanamo; because if he were released into Aussie jurisdiction, then under Aussie law he would be innocent.

Heaven knows, NZ politicians are nothing to be proud of, but at least they show some shame and some attempt at plausible deniability when they become agents of foreign governments against New Zealanders.


(comments are closed)