“I Am John. . .D’oh!”

Don’t let the Dems kill the John Doe amendment Update: House Dems kill John Doe amendment…fight moves to the Senate Update: 8:55pm Senate Dems kill John Doe amendment…roll added
By Michelle Malkin • July 19, 2007 06:59 PM

Malkin: “Oleander, coriander, sis-boom. . .FUCK!”


Andy McCarthy and Audrey Hudson report that Democrats are attempting to water down the “John Doe” amendment–the legislation sponsored by Rep. Peter King that would protect citizen whistleblowers who act to protect our national security and who are threatened by lawsuits from CAIR and their grievance-mongering ilk. Time is short. You need to make your voice heard in…

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McCarthy sums up why this is so critical: “As Pete King’s office notes, in a post-9/11 reality, passenger vigilance is essential to our security. Given the variety of threats we face and terrorists’ history of targeting mass transit systems, encouraging passengers to report strange behavior to authorities is really just common sense. Failing to report strange behavior to authorities is really just common sense. Failing to report suspicious behavior could end up costing thousands of lives — and while the “flying imams” don’t seem to understand this, the American people do. We must make certain that brave citizens who stand up and say something are given the protections they deserve. The King amendment does exactly that, and Democrats musn’t be allowed to strip it from the…

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Frank Gaffney e-mails:

Fresh from their all-night effort to force surrender on the U.S. military in Iraq, some Democrats on Capitol Hill appear intent on using the dark-of-night (figuratively, if not literally) to another, grievous misdeed: Trying to eliminate one of the most important anti-terror provisions adopted by Congress since 9/11. This legislation is the so-called “King amendment,” which is designed to ensure that public-spirited citizens are not discouraged, let alone penalized, for doing their civic duty by informing the authorities of activities that could be associated with terrorism.

As the brilliant former counterterrorism prosecutor and legal analyst Andy McCarthy observes in a posting on National Review Online today, the King amendment’s opponents in the congressional leadership understand that the overwhelming, bipartisan support for this legislation in the House and Senate leave them few options.

In fact, as a practical matter, the only way they could dispose of a provision which was initiated by the ranking member of the House Homeland Security Committee, Rep. Pete King of New York, after the insidious Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) brought suit against several…

Well, here’s one less thing we have to worry about:

Poor Service Results in Charges Filed
July 15, 2007, 3:30 pm — Michelle Malkin, 37, and a group of friends received poor service at the Salt & Pepper Grill located at Lincoln and Wrightwood.

“We — me and Bryan and Allahpundit — all came in Sunday afternoon for a late lunch. And right away this girl was all attitude. I asked her for an ice tea with lemon and she brought the tea….WITHOUT LEMON. When I told her my silverware was dirty it took her, like, three days to bring me new utensils. I ordered the chicken Caesar salad with the lite dressing on the side. She brings the salad without the dressing on the side…I mean, how am I supposed to eat all that dry greenage? What do I look like? An ungulate? And when she finally does bring it, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t lite. I could see the fat just glistening in that little plastic cup. Plus, I’m pretty sure she was looking at Bryan’s acne the whole time. It was just awful. And she was all arty-looking, too, with a lip ring and blue streaks in her hair, all stinky with patchouli. Probably some art major at Montgomery or something.”

“She was just a difficult customer,” says server Halley Riordan, 21, a performing arts major at Montgomery College. “It was my first day and I was still getting used to everything. I made a few mistakes but I was quick and polite the whole time…even when I heard her call me a “skank” under her breath as I left the table one time. When I brought the check, she asked to see the manager and things just got completely out of hand.”

When the manager came over, Malkin demanded free meals for her and her friends.

“The manager offered to comp my meal, but said he wasn’t going to comp Bryan and Allah. I was shouting at him too, giving him my best dirty look. He wouldn’t budge. I was all like, f— this, you obviously don’t know who you’re dealing with, I’m calling the cops on your ass. So I whipped out my cell phone and dialed Homeland Security.”

A counterterrorism squad arrived on-scene and attempted to mediate the situation. Finally, a compromise was reached: Malkin and her friends agreed to pay only half of the total accumulated bill if Riordan was fired on the spot.

“I thought [manager] Dan should’ve stood up for me,” said Riordan. “But he just caved in to the cops and these three classless idiots.”

When told of Riordan’s comments, Malkin replied, “She should really keep her mouth shut. My husband Jesse is considering turning her in on suspicion of money-laundering. She’s just digging a hole for herself.”

[Text repurposed from teh venerable Lincoln Park Trixie Society]


Comments: 31


Republicans always claim that lawsuits are the way free markets police themselves – then make it impossible to sue them and their buddies. Vaccine make you ill? Can’t sue.

The law already deals with this. If the lawsuit is frivolous it will be thrown out. If it has merit it proceeds.


Yeah but do any of them like anal sex?


…a performing art major at Wheaton


¿Wheaton, the bibly-est college north of the baptist swamplands?



¿Wheaton, the bibly-est college north of the baptist swamplands?

Um, crap. Okay, I’ll change it to Montgomery College.


Clearly, the way to fight terrorism is to encourage as many people as possible to cry wolf. Surely there’s no way that could be bad for us in the long run.


Wow. Is this a true story? My respect for Michelle Malkin is shaken. I used to work in food service, in a mall restaurant, and I hated people like this. I hope it’s not true. Because Michelle is a great journalist.

I’d hate to think that she’s a total chunderloaf.


Ugh. Food service. I once had three tables gang up on me. Seriously, they started talking to each other about how much I sucked. I did achieve minor celebrity status with the other servers, though, when I got pissed and suggested out-loud that perhaps they would prefer to prepare their own food, if they were dissatisfied with the dining-out experience. Except I said it in fewer words.

Qetesh the Abyssinian

How’s about some protection for real whistleblowers? [cough Sibel Edmonds cough]


Islmfaocist’s 1st Law of Authoritarianism:

You can always tell an authoritatian by his exhortations on the necessity of Doing Our Civic Duty.


Spelling is optional with auto preview.


Some Guy, The War on Christmas is alive and well in malls everywhere. Just try working in a mall between Thanksgiving and Christmas and you’ll learn to hate people with a passion. They are such jerks right before Christ’s birthday.

It’s enough to make one wish the Rapture would come before the next angry customer.


In the spirit of Christmas, would any of you Sadly Noers like to help me out in this Protein Wisdom thread I’m being slammed in? I know how much you guys like Jeff and his crew.

If not, I’ll still respect you in the morning.


I thought Goldstein quit. Didn’t he go off back-packing with Ilyka and Chris Clarke?

Herr Doktor Bimler

Well I am shocked by the weakness of your US legal system. How have you coped so long without channels for people to anonymously denounce their neighbours?

Qetesh the Abyssinian

Psycheout, I know exactly what you mean: I used to have a part-time schoolgirl job at a retail chain (centuries ago, when I was a schoolgirl), and I hated Christmas with a passion. But for me, it was more about the 14-hour days packed with constant repetitions of Bing Crosby’s 20 Christmas Favourites. I got so I’d start swearing and screaming incoherently at the first tinkling of sleighbells.

And it’s not as though Adelaide, Australia has much snow at Christmas. None ever, in fact. This is The Land Of No Snow. So hearing Bing-boy warbling on about sleighbells, while we made brave faces in century-ish (Fahrenheit, for you Murkins) heat, made me want to brain him with one. The store might have been witness to a gruesome new crime, as the ten millionth customer to ask me where Children’s Shoes was (“See that sign? Says Children’s Shoes? Yah, under that”) was found under a fixture one morning garrotted with a string of tinsel and tinkly bells.

One year there was a suggestion that we’d all have to wear those ghastly red pointy hats with simulated fur around them, Walls and steel fixtures melted under my gaze, and it was quietly decided that Chrissy hats would be optional.

I wonder if that experience has anything to do with my complete detestation of retail, Christmas, and people?


I see. It wasn’t enough for driving while black to be a crime, so now they’re moving to flying while Muslim.


My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions! The Secret Rapture soon, by my hand!
Read My Inaugural Address
My Site=http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman


One would have thought that “J’accuse!” would be too Frenchy for these types.


Hell, I think eating at Denny’s while Muslim is a felony.


First of all, psycheout is psyching me out.

Second of all there is this little bit of circular logic:

“Failing to report strange behavior to authorities is really just common sense. Failing to report suspicious behavior could end up costing thousands of lives.”

Why do wingnuts hate logic? Why?


I had a grievance-mongering ilk once, but it got too big for our back yard, so we donated it to a petting zoo.

Principal Blackman

It wasn’t enough for driving while black to be a crime, so now they’re moving to flying while Muslim.

Next up: Ambulating while swarthy.

Working retail–particularly around Christmas–is something everybody should do so that they will learn how shitty it is and start cutting retail workers some slack instead of ratcheting up the asshole factor.


Hey. Pssst. Check out that dude.

Which dude? Guy in the peach smugglers?

No, man, THAT dude. Over by the window.

What about him?

Don’t you think he looks, I dunno, suspicious or something?


Look at that beard! Don’t terrorists have beards like that?

Um, I don’t know. Are there grooming standards for terrorists? Pirates had beards too. Maybe he’s just here for booty.

Laugh if you want, but I think he’s on OUR flight.

Either that or he just really likes Gate 19.

What about those robes. Man, you could hide an ICBM in there.

What, they have ICBMs that can get past metal detectors now?

Those terrorists are clever. They’ve got scientists on their side.

Terrorist scientists? You sure?

Hell yeah. Making dirty bombs or something. They want to kill us.

Heh heh. That woman over there? Her baby just made a dirty bomb.

You’re not taking this seriously. I’m going to report him. Excuse me, miss? That guy over there is acting kind of suspicious. Somebody should question him or something.

You mean Abdul? I don’t think there’s too much to worry about.

Why? He’s got me worried.

Um, he owns the airline.


“…brilliant former counterterrorism prosecutor and legal analyst…”
He prosecutes counterterrorists? Is he going after Jack Bauer next? (Oh, keep forgetting that’s a fictional character. Too much wing-nut input lately.)
Strange & suspicious behavior: Pull out your skin tone chart & compare.
The next terrorists are going to be wearing blue contacts & have their hair colored as blonde as any winger woman. Hell, they might just be women. And Michelle & her pals won’t even notice them, until it’s TOO LATE!!
Herr Doktor is quite right, I don’t know how we’ve gotten along w/o such denunciation for so long. Although you can always call the heat & say someone’s dealing/making meth & they have a lot of guns in their house & you’re worried about their pre-school age children.
And while we’re making mock (or just plain smearing, & why not?): Remember a few days back when Mark Noonan announced he’d never be alone w/ any of his female friends? Michelle seems to spend a lot of time w/ her two buddies Brian & Allahpundit (?). If I were hubby Jesse I’d have to wonder a little. Or a lot. Or maybe she should wonder why he doesn’t care very much where she is & what she’s doing, if you know what I mean. And I’ll bet you do.


Ha haa haaaaaaaa. She doesn’t know the word “ungulate”.


“Michelle seems to spend a lot of time w/ her two buddies Brian & Allahpundit (?). If I were hubby Jesse I’d have to wonder a little. Or a lot. Or maybe she should wonder why he doesn’t care very much where she is & what she’s doing, if you know what I mean. And I’ll bet you do.”

I was wondering about that myself actually. My husband is a great guy,open minded and all that,but I think he’d start having a word or three with me if I travelled around with a guy or spent as much time “in the basement studio” doing my internets thing with another man.

Of course this all could be innocent as a newborn baby rat,but even the most trusting of husbands would have to wonder WTF after seeing that”cheerleading”video.


Ack,that should be THAT much time above,not AS much…

Preview does me no good whatsoever…


Let us not forget what a disaster that “Flying Imams” thing was. Remember when, after that whole flap, they all bought tickets on domestic air flights and blew all the planes up in midair, and then all those other imams followed their lead and blew lots of other passenger planes up in midair? And then we had to go to war with Imamistan and Upper Imamistan, and tens of thousands of people died?

That was fucked up.

Remember: if an imam flies, yo’ mama dies.

Never forget, man. Never forget.


More pics of the beautiful Michelle Malkin!


She is a cutie, isn’t she. She’s truly the firecracker of the web.


Whatever makes blows up your skirt, boys, whatever.

Kevin’s wankin it.


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