Teh Aristocrats
Doop-doop-doop, surfing on the Internet.
Hmm, looks like someone’s going to be screaming on the phone to Google when she sees this.
Wonder what’s cooking with ol’ Michelle lately, anyway.
“Sabotage: America’s Enemies Within the CIA”
By Michelle Malkin • July 17, 2007 11:18 AMExaminer reporter Rowan Scarborough has a new book out exposing the CIA bureaucrats who are undermining the war on terror.
Above: This equation is actually sort of apropos, is the scary thing.
Welcome to another episode of Lifestyles of the Wrong and Shameless: It’s Mr. Rowan Scarborough of the neoconservative Hoover Institution — home as well to V.D. Hanson, Niall Ferguson, Dinesh D’Souza, and on down the line to John “Podenfreude” Podhoretz. And also Ed Meese, whom they seem to keep around as a giant paperweight. Welp, let’s see what we can learn from this.
Okay, we’re back. The first thing we learned is that the book was previously titled Sabotage: The CIA’s War Against Bush. Since at this point pretty much everybody, including half the Republican Party, is at war with Bush, perhaps that only made the CIA look like a bunch of okay dudes, and therefore had to be massaged a bit (i.e. into the old ‘enemies within’ thing that worked so well for Joe McCarthy). Anyway, back to Michelle:
The Examiner newspapers are running a five-part series of book excerpts. The book publicist sends some details of the book’s never before reported accounts, including how:
• A CIA leak made the justice department open an official investigation into the Valerie Plame leak, plunging the Bush White House into its worst political crises.
If by ‘CIA leak’ you mean those documents that leaked into the hands of the White House.
• The CIA bureaucracy was so hostile to Director Porter Goss that his staff sometimes whispered in his 7th floor office as if it were bugged.
Although a simpler explanation is that they were whispering about the hooker parties.
• The Iraq Station was still not the top CIA priority three years into the war. It lacked basic data bases and was staffed by scores of inexperienced officers.
It is surprising that such a thing could happen when the Bush-appointed CIA higher-ups were so diligently… Oh, I thought you said it lacked basic poker and hookers and was staffed by the sudden resignation of its Executive Director amid a growing bribery scandal. Never mind.
• The CIA closed scores of stations and bases worldwide during the Clinton years, including the base in Hamburg Germany where radicals started planning the September 11 attacks.
It isn’t widely known that the Clinton Years began during George H.W. Bush’s term, and ended in the late ’90s, while Clinton was president, when the CIA began to reopen bases closed after the end of the Cold War.
• The New York Times snookered the chiefs of Congress’ two intelligence committees to tell the Times facts about the terror surveillance program.
[knock knock]
“Who’s there?”
“Pizza delivery.”
“Pizza delivery? Why, we chairmen of the House and Senate intelligence committees didn’t order a pizza!”
[. . .]
[knock knock]
“Who’s there?’
“James Risen and Eric Lichtblau of the New York Times.”
“Oh no! I’m not opening the door! The New York Times is trying to snooker us into…”
[knock knock]
“Hello?”
“Uh, candygram.”
• The National Security Agency studded the mountains of Afghanistan with a new type of high-tech listening devices and pointed them at Pakistan where they revealed terror training camps masquerading as schools.
Thus do the CIA bureaucrats undermine the War On Terror.
• The CIA penetrated Internet cafes in Iraq to help it track al Qaeda terrorists. New details on the hunt for Abu Musab Zarqawi.
Then later, they logged out and penetrated a falafel stand in Iraq, where they bought a falafel. Even thus do the CIA bureaucrats undermine the War On Terror.
New detail: The hunt for Zarqawi has slipped in priority since June 7th, 2006, the date on which Zarqawi ceased being alive. However, speculation continues as to his gravesite.
• A retired officer privately told Donald Rumsfeld in September 2006 that the Iraq war was nearly lost, prompting a complete change in strategy.
And that’s why we’ve seen a complete change in strategy.
• An adviser to Karl Rove calls Richard Armitage a coward for not Coming forward in 2003 and telling the public he was the source of the Valerie Plame leak. It could have ended the scandal right then and there.
Except of course that would’ve been a lie, because Matt Cooper’s source for the Plame leak was Karl Rove. Isn’t that a crime of some sort? Advising someone to lie to Federal prosecutors? Oh well.
Human Events has an interview with Scarborough about the book.
Looks like a good one to add to your summer reading list.
I’ll say! It’ll fit in with the rest of the books on our summer reading list by the duo of Scarborough and his column-partner Bill Gertz:
Um, except for that last one. It’s only in there for reasons of thematic unity.
We’re also looking forward to the following titles from Scarborough and/or Gertz:
Evil
Villains
Disaster
Swine
Ruin
Nazis
Shit
Terror
Bukkake
Crush
Mayhem
Kill
Vomit
Destroy
Slaughter
10,000 Maniacs
Napalm Death
Hate
Rampage
It’s a hell of an act, Mr. Scarborough. What do you call it?
You know, “bukkake” works to modify virtually every word on that list (ie Disaster Bukkake), including bukkake.
I have a cunning plan!
But it is as cunning as a fox who is professor of cunning at oxford university?
I assure you, Your Grace, it’s at least as cunning as any of Baldrick’s plans.
I’m all confused now. Why doesn’t the CIA have some sort of controller guy–some sort of “president” or something to be in charge of things?
The Iraq Station was still not the top CIA priority three years into the war. It lacked basic data bases and was staffed by scores of inexperienced officers.
Oh, there’s a big surprise, considering the whole U. S. Embassy was staffed w/ Regent Univ. grads & the like, whose only qualifications seemed to be their positions on abortion, & their youth & gullibility.
I know most of “The Right” is still fighting the Cold War, and the transition to keyboard-combatting loose, uncentralized networks is difficult for them, but just what do MM & her ilk expect? It couldn’t be that the intelligence community knows what they’re doing & resents incompetent idiot appointees who continually screw things up could it? (Maybe not, as the U. S. intel community has been a collection of fuck-ups since day one, but even they must be able to tell the diff ‘twixt appointed total fuck-ups & run of the mill idiots who’d join the spy corps in the first place.)
Anyway, I have to get to Google & get some BIGGER IMAGES of something I heard was there. TTFN!
Yeah, waitaminute. These clowns are supposed to be real, full-throated, rock-ribbed partisans? Now lemme get this straight. They KNOW the CIA is actively working against the President and his agenda. Sure, they COULD tell him. You know, get him the word, name the leaders of this treason. See, the way I understand it, HE (the president) gets to say who runs the CIA. So he could fix it in an hour.
Hah. What kind of un-american thing would that be to do? When instead, you can take a couple years, document the terrible things the sneaky bastards are doing to our glorious leader and publish a BOOK!! That’s IT! Make a shitload of money. What could be more patriotic than that??
What?
mikey
Right on, Will. With apologies to Toole, can someone title a retrospective of the Bush/GOP regime “Bukkake of Dunces”? Like a man being hit in the groin by a football, it works on so many levels!!
Will, ewww…lol…ewwww…lol…ewwww.
The topic and that vile woman are too depressing to contemplate, so I’ll add another Blackadder scene, a favorite from the third series.
(The actor Keanrick enters, followed by the actor Mossop.)
Edmund: (noticing there’s no one surrounding the actors) Ahh, if I can just
squeeze through this admiring rabble… (mimes wading through a crowd)
Gentlemen, I’ve come with a proposition.
Mosspo: How dare you, sir. You think, just because we’re actors, we sleep with *everyone*!
E: I think, being actors, you’re lucky to sleep with *anyone*. I come
here on behalf of my employer, to ask for some elocution lessons.
Keanrick: Haa-ha, I fear, that is quite impossible. We are in the middle of
rehearsing for our new play. We cannot possibly betray our beloved
audience by taking time off.
M: Oh no, mustn’t upset the punters. Bums on seats, laddie, bums on seats.
E: And what play is this?
M: It is a piece we penned ourselves, called “The Bloody Murder of the
Foul Prince Romero and His Enormous-Bosomed Wife”.
E: A philosophical work then.
K: Indeed yes, sir. The violence of the murder and the vastness of the
bosom are entirely justified artistically.
Why not the entire George Carlin repatoire? Since you already list shit, the remainders:
Piss
Fuck
Cunt
Cocksucker
Motherfucker
Tits
What are we looking at here? Seriously. I’ve had 1 1/2 (big) vodka tonics,
so factor that in.
Is this stupidity? Partisan lying and manipulation? Sincere outrage (cf. “stupidity”). What is the “deal” with this silly woman?
“studded the mountains of Afghanistan with a new type of high-tech listening devices and pointed them at Pakistan”
This is a 14 year old’s “insight” into “what’s possible” with “state of the art technology.” Has she even seen a photo of “the mountains of Afghanistan”?
As Antony says to the crowd in Julius Caesar: I pause for a reply.
To be fair, bush would be having an easier time rooting out his CIA enemies if his CIA appointees would stop having to resign in disgrace.
The experienced officers have been driven out by Bush and his cronies, just like they have all over government. That’s what happens when you politicize everything and reward blind devotion over competence.
No, Gavin. That’s Sen. David Vitter’s specialty.
Shorter: The CIA’s hard head made the White House’s fist hurt.
King Quaker:
I really don’t think “tits” should be on The List. I really don’t.
Boy it’s been awhile since you had Malkin on this sight. It’s good to get back to the basics once in awhile.
Other than that, this is just the usual “it’s not out fault we fucked everything we’ve ever attempted!” ass covering. Just how many books about how all of Bushes failures were really Clinton’s fault can one guy write anyway?
I’d fap to that.
I’ve got a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel.
“No, Gavin. That’s Sen. David Vitter’s specialty.”
Technically no. Bukkake means literally to splash with water. Those enterprising Jappanese added a whole new level to it. No, I’m afraid that Rep Vitner is a Diaper Fetishist:
“A classical Freudian analysis of diaper fetishism points in textbook fashion to a fixation in the anal stage of development, specifically an anal expulsive personality. According to Freud…” blah blah blah….
Or as they say, a picture being worth a thousand words and all…..
vitner depends
Not that I doubted you, Gav, but I wanted to check and see if those image results still showed up. I got as far as typing “michelle ma” when I noticed my handy Firefox-built-in “Google suggest” feature wanted to complete the query as “michelle marsh“.
So the world isn’t completely crazy.
Nice, Henry,
This one is good, too:
Blackadder: A man may fight for many things. His country, his friends, his principles, the glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally, I’d mud-wrestle my own mother for a ton of cash, an amusing clock and a sack of French porn.
[…] to my parents and majored in business or engineering. • Pizza Hut Double Roll • Teh Aristocrats • The Crawling Zombie • The 2007 Summer Blockbusters: Which Is Better, The Toys Or The […]
Back when The Seattle Times routinely inflicted Ms. Malkin upon the namesake city it really, really hates, she did her “investigative journalism” by going to the Seattle International Film Festival. (I’m not kidding.) Later, she took to copying b.s. from our local right-wing radio filth-hole, and complaining that they’d swiped it from her. Now she claims to read books, so I guess that counts as ‘improvement’.
Michelle Malkin is hot.
And I totally admire her for having the guts to stick up for herself and exercise her right to express her opinions, even though she has the reasoning abilities of a … a … a conservative.
I think it’s cute when conservatives play “I can be a deep political thinker, just like a grown-up!”
It’s adorable!
Now go and play, you little scamps. The adults will clean up after you.
“• The CIA bureaucracy was so hostile to Director Porter Goss that his staff sometimes whispered in his 7th floor office as if it were bugged.”
These neo-con propagandists would be funny if they weren’t so scarily angry and evil. The above statement is like saying that your boats are always sinking, but failing to mention that you keep drilling holes in their hulls.
• A retired officer privately told Donald Rumsfeld in September 2006 that the Iraq war was nearly lost, prompting a complete change in strategy.
The fuck did THAT happen? Is this supposed to refer to The Surge, which far from being “a change in strategy” is more like the zombie in “Return of The Living Dead” saying “SEND MORE COPS!”?
• The CIA bureaucracy was so hostile to Director Porter Goss that his staff sometimes whispered in his 7th floor office as if it were bugged.
So it’s bugged, QED?
Typical conservative logic.
The Bush Administration acts as if they care about terrorism, as if they know what’s going on and as if they know what they’re doing. Corporations act as if they’re giving Americans jobs. Economists act as if the people are doing swell in these alleged boom times, warbloggers act as if they’re shouldering a great patriotic burden for us all, and the system acts as if it were still a functioning democracy.
Q-E-freakin-D!
How Bloggers Earn Money
BoingBoing.net – Revenue: Over $1 million a year
icanhascheezburger.com – Revenue: Estimated $5,600 a month
perezhilton.com – Revenue: Estimated $111,000 a month
michellemalkin.com and hotair.com
Not so much
“Between her eponymous blog and her video blog, Hot Air, conservative author and columnist Michelle Malkin gets more than 220,000 visits per day, but says her sites still operate at a slight loss. “We’re doing what few other blogs can do. We serve up terabytes of bandwidth,” Malkin says. “I’m shelling out for gold-plated servers. That’s expensive, and we want to be able to withstand huge traffic surges.” Hot Air, a group video-blog, in particular needs the bandwidth to stream videos. The rest of her ad revenue, which Malkin declines to detail, supports a small staff and a basement studio to produce original video clips. Malkin also sees the blogs as promoting her print media, and vice-versa. “Blogs have been the most recent development in my career, but my bread and butter has been the newspaper column that I’ve had since 1992. The integration has been really interesting, and I think that attracts people as well.””
• The CIA bureaucracy was so hostile to Director Porter Goss that his staff sometimes whispered in his 7th floor office as if it were bugged.
The CIA doesn’t have equipment to detect and disable bugs? I feel betrayed by Hollywood yet again.
I shall now purchase a very large turnip and retire to the country.
BrillianT, but I might have gone with Bean in place of Blackadder. Still brilliant.
(are you taunting us with that preview box? how long will it last this time?)
In August 2001, the CIA failed to get the president to stop focusing the full attention of the Executive Branch on freedom-hating brush and instead read a vital Daily Brief on Osama bin Laden’s plans to attack the U.S. Thus did the CIA undermine the War on Terror.
You might want to look at this truly pathetic Wingnut website (called Media Myth Busters) — it’s a transparently Nutty Conservative site disguising itself (it looks like Wikipedia) as unbiased whose mission is to valiantly get to the truth behind news stories:
“The goal of this site is to debunk myths that take hold as a result of inaccurate or irresponsible media reports.”
Captain Jamil Hussein and Dan Rather are among their first (and timely) targets.
http://mediamythbusters.com/index.php?title=Main_Page
Shadowplay
Wilderness
Interzone
Candidate
Insight
Disorder
Passover
Colony
Decades
Ceremony
Glass
Transmission
Isolation
Bizarre Love Triangle
Oh yeah. The one that was originally in there struck an (I thought) ideal compromise: It was from Blackadder Goes Forth, with the pencils up the nose and the underwear on the head. Didn’t quite work in the composition, blast it.
It’s permanent: If it goes away for some server-related reason, it’ll be back ASAP.
Umm, so when it has vanished in the past, it was back much later than possible? It was possible, but then y’all decided “nah, let ’em eat ascii” or something?
mikey
michellemalkin.com and hotair.com
Not so much
At a glance The Malkin looks like Leilene of Flavor of Love/Charm School in that picture.
A CIA leak made the justice department open an official investigation into the Valerie Plame leak, plunging the Bush White House into its worst political crises.
Is she saying the investigation into the White House leak only began because the CIA leaked that there was a leak? Because actually the CIA wrote a letter to the justice department officially requesting an investigation.
The CIA bureaucracy was so hostile to Director Porter Goss that his staff sometimes whispered in his 7th floor office as if it were bugged
Or maybe Porter Goss just thought everyone was against him and that his office was bugged?
In all seriousness, if there’s an “enemy” faction in the CIA who are undermining those setting up secret prisons and other such, more power to them.
Hmmm, Michelle has a really tiny head there. I smell a rat.