Shorter Solomonia

No Pork at the Dunkin Donuts?

Above: Kleyne kinder kakn kleyne kutshes.

  • Bwa-ha-ha! This miscreant Muslim shopkeeper refuses to sell pork! PS: Candle Lighting is 18 minutes before Shkiah. Friday, July 13, 2007: Light candles at 8:03 PM.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.


Comments: 25


Like the way Mr. No Pork says it’s “racial” discrimination. Not even religious, if you ask me, just a simple business decision. Just as Mormon-owned Mariott (also franchised, I b’leeve) provides smut in their hotels, the Boise, ID based, Mormon-owned, Albertson’s supermarket chain (all or mostly here in the West) sells coffee, booze, etc. Is pork just so disgusting to the dude that he won’t even let his (I’m guessing) mostly Hispanic immigrant workers touch the stuff? Never seen solomonia before, looks like another RW drooler, but I think I must agree w/ him on that.
Guess the big irony here is that allegedly Muhammad, Mahomet, whatever, decided pork was a bad thing in order to get more of the hebrew-speakers to convert.
P. S.: Why’d g-d make pigs in the first place if he doesn’t want you eating them? Just for footballs?


HA!!!11!! Not only first, but I actuall had something to say! (Not much, but something. And how lame am I, anyway, getting all excited about that, ignoring the fact that I’m surfing the tubes while sweating in my underwear…Sorry, too much info.


Hmmm… I’m no expert on franchise-based corporations, and I imagine this Solomon feller ain’t, neither. However, it does smack me as… , odd, that DD had no problem with it until after a certain day in a certain year. I mean, 18 years of precedent, then suddenly, “thank you, no.” There’s definatly a case there.

His next post caught my eye, regarding female genital mutilation. First: dude, circumcision. Nyeh.
Second, and this is more about the semantics of the article then anything, if they girls are taken out of country to do it, the problem isn’t “spreading” to Briton.

Lastly, in his most recent post, he seems to be claiming that everyone who has AIDS in a terrorist. Ya might wanna do an edit of that, buddy.


Don’t know how DD structures its franchising contracts, but if the guy made his revenue quotas, paid his royalty fees and did his co-op marketing, WTF? I agree with Some Guy on the conspicuousness of the date DD decided to cut him off.


Someone should tell the Pope that epistemological absolutism may be true for him, but it isn’t true for everyone.


A Muslim refusing to sell pork is soooo much worse than a Catholic pharmacist refusing to dispense morning after pills.


Or a landlord refusing to rent to gay couples or unmarried couples cohabiting.


What the fuck–no pork donuts?!? MUSLAMOFASCISTUNISM HAS WON!!! BLARGLARGH!!!

On a personal note, I used to work at an all-night greasy spoon. My boss (the owner and main cook) was a pretty strictly observant Muslim from Sierra Leone. He never ate a bite of pork in his life, but the guy cooked untold TONS of bacon. I’m talking cases and cases of it for every shift (the cases of bacon you get from Sysco probably weigh in the neighborhood of 15-20 pounds). When things would thin out around 3:30 or 4:30am he’d clear the whole grill and just fill it with bacon to par-cook it for the morning rush. I always wondered how he managed to do that. He didn’t seem to have any sort of revulsion for it at all–just refused to eat it.

My diabetic friend worked there too, and when we got a little punchy during a long shift he would throw bacon at my boss while my boss would throw sugar at him. It was good times.


Eating pork is patriotic! It’s how you show your pride in ‘Murika! It’s not Canadian Bacon, it’s Freedom Ham!!! Go USA USA!


I thought AtlasPammy was the “Freedom Ham”??


Freedom Spam. Have you seen that pink dress? My Barbies have something like that, it’s made of acetate. Yeesh.


Don’t tell Pinko. He’ll schedule an intervention, or a raid, or something.


I dunno. I’m pretty disappointed in our racial haters these days. America used to have a real gift for racism, an ability to hate people who are not like them in creative, fun ways. Everything from segregation to withholding education to voter suppression to dragging behind autos to public lynching.

I mean, Americans have been for many decades the picassos of racism, the space program of hatred, the los alamos laboratory of fear and ignorance. And now the best that these lightweight clowns can do is PORK?? Excuse me. The other WHITE meat? That’s it? Shame on you, no-pork boy. Take that!

Gawd, there may well be something to the Marie Jon’ position that Americans have become wimpified. ‘Cause that’s some hella wimpy hatred there. If I wasn’t already, I’d be embarrassed to be an american…



From the Forward, March 9, 2007:

Over the past month, Dunkin’ Donuts has faced a wave of protest after news got out that a Washington-area franchise was being pushed by its corporate parents to serve the company’s bacon-heavy sandwiches — a move that would result in the loss of its kosher status. An online petition collected thousands of signatures as word spread that Dunkin’ Donuts was pressuring its 40 other kosher franchises to lose the kosher certification and add nonkosher items, like the new maple-cheddar breakfast sandwich.


Other than Dunkin’ Donuts, the main national franchise to offer kosher supervision is Krispy Kreme, which supports 70 kosher outlets. The North Carolina-based company, which has 300 stores in all, makes its mixes at a central kosher-certified factory. An individual store that wants to go kosher needs only to bring in a rabbi and make minimal menu adjustments.

For cookie-cutter chain restaurants, going completely kosher is not such a simple process. At Dunkin’ Donuts, local franchises have to apply to corporate headquarters and show that there is commercial justification for appealing to a Jewish audience. The owner of the controversial Dunkin’ Donuts near Washington, Jim Willard, who owns six stores in all, made his first foray into kashrut nine years ago. Now, each time the company comes out with a new product, Willard says he has to order a small batch and pass it by the local rabbis.

Leaving out such items as the sausage sandwiches does not go down well with some of his non-Jewish customers. “They don’t understand,” Willard said. “They say, ‘You put this on TV, and now you don’t have it?’ They’re disappointed and upset.”

Nonetheless, Willard kept five of his franchises kosher until last month. The change came after company officials allegedly told him that they wanted to standardize the menu and add nonkosher items. Though Willard was able to maintain the kosher certification at his store in the local Jewish community center, he said the company pushed him to bring bacon into a store in Potomac’s heavily Jewish Cabin John neighborhood.

From the Washington Post, April 1, 2007:

In addition to the Cabin John location, the Dunkin’ Donuts in Rockville’s Metro Pike Plaza lost its kosher status last month after beginning to serve the meat sandwiches. A third kosher location, on Darnestown Road in Gaithersburg, will begin carrying nonkosher items later this year.

The owner of those franchises, Jim Willard, has two other stores that have kept their kosher status — one on Veirs Mill Road and the other in Rockville’s Jewish Community Center of Greater Washington.


According to a corporate spokesman, there are 30 to 40 kosher Dunkin’ Donuts in the country, and the company decides their status on a case-by-case basis.

Rabbi Bendelstein of the Orthodox Union discusses the intricacies of kosher certifying franchises like Dunkin’ Donuts.


Why do I hear the voice of a hopped-up Bruno Kirby in my head when I read this guy’s posts?


I wonder if there are any Jewish DD franchise owners who don’t sell pork products…or any franchises in high-Jewish population areas, for that matter.


OT, I know, but there’s fun in them thar grafs!

Grounds for impeachment: the headline “Bush admits administration leaked CIA name”

MSM doing it’s job: “The president had initially said he would fire anyone in his administration found to have publicly disclosed the identity of Valerie Plame, the wife of former Ambassador Joseph Wilson and a CIA operative. Ten days ago, Bush commuted the 30-month sentence given to I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby by a federal judge in connection with the case.”

The unintentionally revealing comment: “{Bush} also defended the decision to commute Libby’s sentence. ‘The Scooter Libby decision was, I thought, a fair and balanced decision,’ Bush said.”

Snow being his usual supercilious, nauseating self is just a bonus.


dunno. I’m pretty disappointed in our racial haters these days.

Yeah, but you gotta admit, we still have gratuitous crassness going for us. Pig races next to a mosque, anyone?


I wonder if there are any Jewish DD franchise owners who don’t sell pork products…or any franchises in high-Jewish population areas, for that matter. – Dorothy

Yep. In many high-Jewish (and/or high Hindu) areas, there are kosher (in particular no meat … not just no bacon, ’cause of the separation of meat and milk) DDs. I imagine DD is cutting off it’s nose to spite its face here. If the franchisee is getting good business, why would DD want to shut it down?

But can the courts force a business to do something it ought to do for its own good? In general, people don’t like that sort of thing — FDR saved capitalism, and look at how the capitalists treated him? … still, a party of ingrates ain’t ever gettin’ my vote!


Pig races next to a mosque, anyone?

Unless they cook the losers on a spit over open coals immediately following the race, it’s just a half-hearted attempt. A gesture, really.

Hysterical Woman

The DD near me is kosher. It makes sense for a bagel place to be kosher, in my opinion.


He also defended the decision to commute Libby’s sentence. “The Scooter Libby decision was, I thought, a fair and balanced decision,” Bush said

Yeah, that pretty much jumped right off the page at me.
Shorter Bush: Thanks, Rupert! Your check cleared.


The DD near me is kosher. It makes sense for a bagel place to be kosher, in my opinion. – Hysterical Woman

Ummm … DD does not make bagels. I happen to rather like the “bagel shaped bread” baked fresh at Dunkin’ Donuts nation-wide. But those are not bagels. Bagels, for starters, have a rather, um, different texture.


solomonia, isn’t that some form of std?


Wait a minute. Are we saying that there are kosher DD’s as requested by Jews, and vegetarian DD’s as requested by Hindus, but they’re pulling the plug on the Muslim guy? Or are they pulling the plug on all the non-pork-lovers?


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