Crank Wankers
Now, the idea that what is going on in Iraq is “civil war” is debatable as a matter of military doctrine as well as popular understanding among Iraqis, given the large areas of the country not engulfed in conflict …
Well, yes. There aren’t pitched battles taking place on every square inch of the vast Iraqi desert at all hours of the day. The entire country does not precisely resemble the Boar’s Nest after some of Boss Hogg’s hired heavies “accidently” spill some beer on Luke Duke before the big race to save Cooter’s garage. But then, Johnny Reb wasn’t exactly laying siege to Martha’s Vineyard during our own Civil War, either. Let alone driving Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane off the road just outside Kennebunkport.
… and the absence of organized factions that are openly seeking to secede from or overturn the government.
If Ichiro’s inside-the-park home run in last night’s All-Star game* was “The Truth, Plainly Spoken,” then with the above sentence, Baseball Crank just traveled back in time to Japan and murdered Ichiro’s grandfather when he was a little boy.
*Ask me about my presence at last night’s All-Star game! Whoo-hooo!
Well, sure, big fellah, but will you be at Flint Center to see Bill Maher?
mikey
Is that at De Anza College? (I googled it …) … when’s he playing?
Sadly No! Visits SF and doesn’t even stop by for coffee? Grrr.
… the absence of organized factions that are openly seeking to secede from or overturn the government.
Ah, the modifier, favorite of weasels everywhere. Because our new Sunni ‘allies’ aren’t wearing matching Death-to-All-Shiites t-shirts*, so they’re not “organized”, and the Kurds haven’t taken out ads in the WSJ announcing their immanent secession, so they’re not “open”.
* Their new police uniforms don’t count, because those were a gift from their generous Uncle Sugar
Oh, for fuck’s sake. An adolescent country has one civil war, and wingnuts now think every fucking civil war has to have lashings of the Ken Burns effect in order to qualify. Damnit, they were having civil wars in the Fertile Crescent when Europe was populated by people living in mud huts.
MK – I live in SF …
OH – I got you confused with the RedSoxLuving SadlyNoers
When will we see the first man attempt to whiz on Bonds while he’s in the field?
When will we see the first man attempt to whiz on Bonds while he’s in the field?
And how long before that man is “outed” as a Repub “Family Values” politician?
So, could you tell me about your presence at last night’s All-Star game?
It was awesome. Watching that Ichiro inside-the-parker was amazing … it happened so fast, and everybody was like, did that just happen?
The ninth was a nail-biter … but why the hell didn’t LaRussa use Pujols?
Anyway, great fun.
Typically weaselly Bushdrone bull. Not really even worth commenting on.
D., you lucky bastard! Can you clear up an issue, since you were there? When Carl Crawford hit his home run, it looked like a fan reached over the wall and caught the ball well below the rail. I kept waiting for fan interference to be called, but nothing happened. Faux Sports showed one replay, which certainly seemed to show the interference, but there was no comment on it from the twits in the booth, and nothing has been mentioned about it since.
Did you see this, and if so, was the guy who appeared to be reaching out and grabbing balls a Republican Congressman?
If Iraq’s sectarian “troubles” don’t qualify as a real civil war due to the lack of rebel flags, ironclads, and hauntingly lovely Appalachian Scotch-Irish fiddle music, then I suggest the occupation of Iraq by Judeo-Christian troops from the West doesn’t qualify as a real crusade, either, due to the lack of halberds, mangonels, and syphillis (and despite the obvious fact that God is on our side).
No, the reason it is being “debated” is because the label “Civil War” brings into to doubt the Supremacy of the Bush installed government. If it is an “Insurgency” then all those tens of thousands of Iraqis are “Dead Enders” and “Terrorists” not citizens of Iraq.
Oh, I’m sure there’s syphilis by now, Oh Stewardess.
Dr Paisley – from my vantage point, Crawford’s home run looked like the bottom of an upturned plastic cup of Anchor Steam beer …
But seriously, I don’t know. I thought the ball had already cleared the fence when the fan caught it but I never saw the replay.
the absence of organized factions that are openly seeking to secede from or overturn the government.
Well, since there’s hardly a government to overturn, I guess that means it’s not a civil war, according to his definition.
I guess by that definition, Somalia is a thriving land of peace, harmony, and civility.
Can I just say that “Oh Stewardess, I speak ‘Nut'” is now my favorite online pseudonym.
Oh, for fuck’s sake. An adolescent country has one civil war, and wingnuts now think every fucking civil war has to have lashings of the Ken Burns effect in order to qualify.
Actually, from 1861-1865, large areas of this country, e.g. New England and the upper Midwest, were entirely conflict free. So by Baseball Crank’s definition, I guess we didn’t have a Civil War, either.
Thank you, Mr. Wonderful. I happened to catch the Oh Stewardess, I Speak Jive scene in Airplane! last weekend for the first time since adopting the name, and cracked up more than during any of the first fifty times I saw it.
By the way, does anyone understand what the hell is going on with Sec. Michael “Katrina” Chartoff and U.S. “intelligence” (or the lack thereof)? I mean, we KNOW al-Qaeda can’t attack ‘Merica because George Bush Jr. is fighting the folks responsible for 9/11 in Iraq so we don’t have to fight them here — and we all SAW the pictures of Saddam bin-Laden’s execution. Who are they trying to fool?
Oh, for fuck’s sake. An adolescent country has one civil war, and wingnuts now think every fucking civil war has to have lashings of the Ken Burns effect in order to qualify.
Can you picture photos from Iraq being filmed in sepia tones and set to some nice drum-n-fife music with down-home, old-timey narration? You can’t? Then it’s not a civil war, commie.
Can you picture photos from Iraq being filmed in sepia tones and set to some nice drum-n-fife music with down-home, old-timey narration? You can’t? Then it’s not a civil war, commie.
“The deathless chords of memory…”