The Calendar Hung Itself
Posted on July 11th, 2007 by Gavin M.
You know, things were better a little while ago, when image uploading was broken and we had to keep reusing old pictures. Because OMG, ew:
Above: 2007 Atlas Shrugs calendar
Encounter the tragedy here. To help preserve some dignity in the world, we’ve crafted a limited-edition coffee mug featuring Pam in a more lifelike pose — i.e., eating a baby panda.
Good god, my eyes! Get the Brain Bleach™ – STAT!!!!
Why does she sell boxers but not thongs? Why does she refuse to allow woman to express themselves fully with the clothes they wear? Does she sell Atlas burkas? Cause she should!
See, if you squint juuust right, and block out everything above the collar bone, and that awful bikini, she’s a passable MILF. The pose if bad, though. Very stilted, unrelaxed. And the sunglasses from 1970 are a mistake.
Whoa, I call Photoshop on the tummy there. The skin tone is all wrong. And the right is silent about this outrage.
Seriously, though, I think she retouched that. Anyone surprised?
I just want to see pictures of the specimens who actually buy this crap.
It’s hard to tell with such a small resize, MCH. The belly button did catch my eye as “off”, though.
I have never understood why this woman makes people’s brains explode.
What is the big deal? She is attractive, and she’s also a crazy authoritarian wingnut. Why is this amazing?
There is no good connection between how people look and their politics, or even their sanity. She’s attractive, so is Malkin, and so is Ann Coulter. They put themselves on TV, or on Youtube, or whatever, because they know they look good, and they want to project their insanity out into the world.
She’s evil, and she’s good looking. This is not unusual in life.
Okay, guys, I hate the shrieking harpy as much as the next guy, but in that picture she looks doable. And the sunglasses help hide the glint of madness. The reclining-on-the-side pose brings the breasteseses together, closing the Great Divide.
In this one, she looks positively hot in an anorexic sort of way, except for the fact that she looks like she’s flashing either Ferrari or Blue Steel.
That is one ugly bikini.
I don’t know; get a couple of scotches in me, and you know ….
What?
I agree, MCH. There is something preternatural about the tummy. Is a belly button supposed to be that distorted?
Or did Pammy run out of places tight enough to… Oh, forget it.
Really. Forget it.
Atheist, I agree with you, except you seem to claim that Ann Coulter is attractive. For that, I’m going to have to vote you off the island.
Hey, if you didn’t know she was a frothing raving scareydangerous screaming madwoman, you might think she looked ok.
I do her, but I’d feel like crap the next morning. SHAME! SHAME!
I will never, ever, masturbate again.
I hope you’re happy.
Atheist, I agree with you, except you seem to claim that Ann Coulter is attractive. For that, I’m going to have to vote you off the island.
Ditto. I mean, Malkin? Sure. Atlas Pammy? OK. But Coulter? Gross.
I do her…
See? Her boobage had me distracted and my grammar went to shit. Yeeegads, someone get me a shot of vodka STAT.
Well, Jesus and Pat Robertson will be, D. Brad…
Oh, gawd. Did you check out October? Swear to gawd, she looks like she’s coming on to Newt. Now that’s just Gross…
mikey
OMG, the December shot of Pammy and Malkin pretty much killed my woodie for Pammy. Malkin looks like a serial killer psychopath. And the one of Pammy and John Bolton…if I ever swallow poison and need to induce vomitting, I know where to look.
I’m digging the statement in the blurb for her store: Accept no tacky imitations. If the originals are tacky, aren’t the imitations bound to be as well?
Age + gravity = “moo”
Me-ow!
want to see who buys this stuff?? What, you’ve never seen Hannidate??
http://web1.hannity.com/hannidate/
Hannidate: find your own special Eva Braun.
http://www.cafepress.com/atlasshrugs.148976626
Notice that’s she’s sexing it up next to what appears to be her underage daughter, who is also in a two piece.*
See, March looks good. That’s a good shot. It’s over exposed, yes, but the execution is good, sexy pose, sexy outfit, good hair, good use of props.
The rest sucks.
*I’m strongly against the use of a bikini on any chick under the age of at least 16. It’s just not cool.
The stomach looks wierd because its been liposucked. Ditto the thighs. Also got the bolt ons, eye work, and botox. She’s the equivalent of processed cheese product.
“Malkin looks like a serial killer psychopath.”
The camera doesn’t lie.
why isn’t this post about me?
ha ha! Just kidding! I know this post is about me.
I would like to celebrate diversity by acknowledging those comments who think she is hot. because…ew.
That may be the ugliest bikini ever.
Is that reverse double lookism, Kathleen?
Is that reverse double lookism, Kathleen?
Reverse double lookism…and she sticks the landing!
Watch any shrieking harpy drunken vlog, and you will quickly come to your senses, you pammalammadingdong doggies.
“Seriously, though, I think she retouched that. Anyone surprised?”
Doesn’t something need to be touched before it can be retouched?
Oh, I’d make the beat with two backs with Pam, but no way would I ever put it in her mouth.
*beast*
contrary to what Pam [or her fans, here and elsewhere] may believe, i do not feel her sexual desirability [or lack thereof] to be in any way germane to the credibility of her commentary. that’s a pretty fair generalization for all human beings, actually.
i have no desire to see Duncan Black in a thong, but i find myself agreeing with him frequently. and yet many people seem compelled to joke around about how sexy he is in a turtleneck. perhaps the fan belt on my ironymeter needs replacing. Markos, i might do him in an elevator, if we were both drunk enough. but i also think he’s frequently a dimbulb, rhetorically speaking.
seriously – why does anyone care about these things? “michael moore is fat! ann coulter is really a man! john edwards got a haircut! look at santorum’s tie!” okay, i admit it, i made fun of santorum’s tie too. but come on.
much as it has made me laugh, i find referring to people like jonah goldberg as “doughy” is ultimatelly unrewarding. just because he’s out of shape doesn’t make him worthy of ridicule – it’s the dumbass things he says.
well, now that i’m done pooping in the punch bowl, ladle me up another one. looking at this picture, i don’t see anything innately repulsive. but repulsiveness is as repulsiveness does, to coin a phrase.
radar – only speaking for myself, the interest here has to do with the insane hilarity of her making a swimsuit calendar.
Plus, Ann Bartow already told me I was not a feminist because I like Go Fug Yourself so I tend to have a lassez faire attitude about these things.
July and August will be featured on downbrownshirt.com.
Kathleen – I like to think of myself as a feminist, but I have to admit a secret addiction to Go Fug Yourself too…
Doesn’t something need to be touched before it can be retouched?
Oh, believe me, mi amigo, she is quite touched…
mikey
I have to say, I find this truly hysterical. Pam is so goddam insane, but (except for that strangely taught and elongated bellybutton), there is no question she is most str* guys idea of totally fuckable.
Be afraid het gentlemen; you might catch teh ghey. Indeed, she may be a secret weapon of teh ghey agenda. Pammy Atlas is your aversion therapy.
She’s a smart lady with a great website. I don’t really understand why she has to sell provocative photos of herself to support her website or satisfy her fans. I guess it’s a product of this sex-obsessed culture of ours. We need to get back to good sensible family values, IMHO.
She should let her inspired words and clearly thought out video blogs on policy matters (among other things) speak for themselves. Posters, Pam? Posters? C’mon.
Guy #1: I’d totally hit that.
Guy #2: Dude, I’d hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England.
(Courtesy of Overheard in New York)
seriously – why does anyone care about these things? “michael moore is fat! ann coulter is really a man! john edwards got a haircut! look at santorum’s tie!” okay, i admit it, i made fun of santorum’s tie too. but come on.
Pam-as-self-defined-sexpot hasn’t worn out for me yet, especially when she’s paired with a variety of depraved power-mad senior citizens: pigs, meet trough! Quite apart from her loathsome ideas, the vanity is funny: just think of her as Paris Motel 6.
The bikini’s terrible but that’s not a bad rack.
“clearly thought out video blogs on policy matters”?
OMG I can’t stop laughing. Psych, that was HIGHlarious!
Who’s the guy in the May image?
Yes, I’d hit it. Malkin, too – especially that cheerleader video.
Their hypocrisy and sadistic insanity makes them even more sexy. Like those evil femme fatales in the noir movies or modern-day superhero flicks.
But Ann Coulter? I’d have to be a lot further down the Kinsey scale to even consider it.
Rude Pundit totally owns this fake sexy act – just spend a few hours on that site looking for Coulter/Malkin/Pammy posts. Rude brings scatological upbraiding to the level of artform.
Good god, my eyes! Get the Brain Bleach™ – STAT!!!!
Just be glad it isn’t Hugh Hewitt.
Hewitt’s are perkier.
seriously – why does anyone care about these things?
Because we’re vicious and cruel maybe? But for a reason? At least I know I am. We’re dealing with a new generation of right-wingers who have taken the idea of civil discourse and pooped all over it with maniacal glee (remember when Rush made fun of Chelsea’s looks?), plus their continual lying and sophistry, when added to their unctuous and often insane demeanor, abject hypocrisy, and sneering contempt for the views of others, has plummeted public debate to its most infinitesimally lowest magnitude ever. Because of this, they’ve opened themselves up to ridicule at every level, from the low brow all the way up to the highest high brow.
High brow: Jonah Goldberg hasn’t been right about anything for five years, maybe more (just check his archives; res ipsa loquitur, the facts speak for themselves when it comes to how ridiculously wrong he’s been), and his zealous public advocacy of this war in Iraq has helped cause many of his peers to die in a war he refuses to fight, which makes him repugnant and vile.
Low brow: Jonah Goldberg is a fat fucking coward.
Oh, I feel so dirty now. Cleanse me, Jeebus.
Well, at least I know where Grandma’s drapes went.
And, J, this guy’s name hasn’t come back to me yet, but I want
to say his last name is Hannity-Aiken.
Yes, I’d hit it. Malkin, too – especially that cheerleader video.
But Ann Coulter? I’d have to be a lot further down the Kinsey scale to even consider it.
Sure. Of course, I think Sean Hannity is pretty good looking too, so maybe I’m just low on that thar Kinsey Scale, whatever it is…
It’s not lookism when the subject makes her looks the topic.What kind of person makes a calendar of her own self? Jeebus! Her ego is bigger than her boobs.
I don’t really understand why she has to sell provocative photos of herself to support her website or satisfy her fans. I guess it’s a product of this sex-obsessed culture of ours. We need to get back to good sensible family values
Our resident troll seems to think Pammy was forced by Snidely Whiplash, or maybe Larry Flynt, to whore herself for the camera against her will. And that she’s not a willing participant in “this sex-obsessed culture”. If Psycho wants to get back to good family values, maybe he ought to think twice about his admiration of Pammy. His little comment is the perfect example of cognitive dissonance.
That tummy has got to be photoshopped – the skin is a totally different color and the direction of the light is different.
But one thing for sure, girlfriend needs a bikini bra with a little more support.
Um, why doesn’t she have any hips?
There needs to be an arrow pointing to her cleavage that says: “Insert John Bolton’s moustache here. Make ‘brrrr’ noise”
I’m glad I’m gay…that doesn’t quite make me retch the way it probably does most of you. 😛
J— said:
Who’s the guy in the May image?
Not sure. Could it be Rich “Turning the Corner” Lowry, the youthful and inept editor of National Review?
But ohmigod. THEY PUT CINCO DE MAYO ON THE CALENDAR. Doesn’t whats-her-boobs realize that she’s giving in to the brown hordes?! Treason!
She has another calendar featuring Bolton and boobs just short of being fully displayed. Miss July here she comes. (Missed Playboy’s calling I guess)
“She’s the equivalent of processed cheese product.”
If she promised not to chew gum, I’d hit her once.
argh, it lost my joke!
ahem
“She’s the equivalent of processed cheese product.”
>>insert joke about being easily spreadable here……
I just looked at the store, and the text seemed to be black on black. You might want to check that.
What does Pam DO for a living?
In all her photos she’s either on a lawn chair on some beach or at a party, or in a bathroom at a party. She living on alimony some schlub has to cough up every month?
Who’s the guy in the May image?
Protest Warrior idiot and self-proclaimed ‘performer’. Keep forgetting his name, but he tried to parody Rev. Billy last year and looked like a total idiot.
I’d google him, but I’ve gotta go!
The fact is I’d hit it.
I work so hard for you guys and this is how you pay me back.
A) Why didn’t anyone tell me about this in 2006? My current calendar (kittens) was purchased @ the 99¢ Only Store, but had I known about this I’d’ve saved to buy it.
B) What horrible things did she have to do to/with all those wretched old men w/ whom she posed to get their permission to use the photos? (What if she didn’t get permission? “Newt Sues Pammy Over Unauthorized Use of Photo in ‘Sexy’ Calendar. Tape @ 10.”)
C) Midsection: Liposuct or Photoshop? I dunno about lipo, those thighs look as if they’re about to swallow her bikini bottom.
(Those yummy, fleshy thighs…)D) The appeal of drooling, vicious, rightist women? They’re often much kinkier than leftist free-lovin’ hippie types, who usually enjoy sex for its own sake, not as (w/ the righties) some expression of childhood g-d only knows what & various dominance/submission issues. I. e., sex is better when it’s dirty, wrong, sinful, etc. And I’ll bet Pammy’s a real goer when she’s had a few too many (nudge, wink).
E)Now where’s the Althouse calendar? A few shots of cars & flowers, one or two tasteful shots of the Divine Ms. A. bending over a bit, and…(See her flickr collection. At least they’d be photos she shot herself.)
F) It’s awfully hot in here. Second floor walk-up, no A/C, SoCal in the summer, Pam on the screen before me…SHOWER TIME11!
It’s funny, after the music discussion downthread I’d been thinking about the band Bikini Kill. Pam sort of gives the idea of bikini kill a whole new meaning.
Damn that’s an ugly bikini.
September page: Should we take up a collection so P. A. can get over to Israel and be on the frontline of defense against the Muslim hordes?
Hey, Sadlys!
I just went out in the yard and picked enough ripe apricots to make a tart. Or pie, if you like.
I almost (almost, mind you) don’t want to say this, but the solution to the oogly bikini problem would be the removal thereof, wouldn’t it?
Said bikini replaced by diapers, M. Bouffant?
Works for me, as long as Pammy’s the one who changes them.
She doesn’t look bad in the photo, but it’s not really age-appropriate for her. Kinda milfy-trashy. Althouse at least has enough sense not to post boudoir self-portraits on her website.
No, no… October isn’t nearly hard enough to damage me. February, on the other hand… <shudder/>
yeah, february in a december sammich.
Thank god for Adblock!
Two points here. #1, why go for the mix and match, its partially soft core porn, partially ‘pics of me with various right wing loons’, why doesn’t she go for one or the other? I’m sure her fan boys (and a portion of the Sadly No crowd too) would prefer 12 pics of her in various states of undress, rather than a poorly exposed pic of her with Mark Fugging Steyn. #2, why didn’t she at least sort the exposures, colour balance, lighting, focus, out on the photographs? If she is going to try publish and sell the calendar, you would have thought that would be a minimum requirement. Jesus, it would have taken her (or one of her minions) about an hour to do. Of the 12 photos, I would say only 2, perhaps 3 are passable, and some, November particularly, are a mess. Have the wingnuts heard of Photoshop?
Which brings me to my point, I assume the Sadly No, “Samwiddges and Burnt Out Mosque” calendars are already well past the planning stages?
As Jeff, Larry David’s manager, would say – “That’s just a big bowl of wrong.”
An entire year’s worth of wrong.
Ha- If you think I’m going there, yer nuts! You folks ran me out of brain bleach a long time ago.
I think the plastic surgeon that did her tummy tuck is the same guy who reconstructed freddy krueger.
Because she’d bite it off if she ever figured out your political leanings.
The whole calendar is just her? What a rip-off! At least tell me there’s more than one picture…on the other hand, one would be enough. And I don’t think Photoshop will do the job, you needs an airbrush…and about a gallon of the right skin tone. Which for her might be Vampire Gray, but even that would be an improvement.
Sigh…another ‘blame society’ liberal…jesus show some personal responsibility you bleeding heart hippie! Wah wah wah society made her do it!
lobbey…..to the wingnut crew, they’re all softcore porn. The wingier the nut, the pornier the pic.
I’m holding out for Teh Pammy Martini Mixer.
BTW, whatever-happened-ta Jackie Mackie Packie Poseur, or whatever her names were?
Althouse at least has enough sense not to post boudoir self-portraits on her website.
Shhhh! She might be listening!
I assume the Sadly No, “Samwiddges and Burnt Out Mosque” calendars are already well past the planning stages
I vote for including Malkin and the Onion Ring.
Harry Cheese:
I dunno, I thinks I’d fuck it anyway.
Well, I’d do her, if she lost the vocal chords.
That December pic….did they photoshop the mouths? They look abnormally large. Or does that occur with habitual/compulsive shrieking?
Gotta say, all of the guys seem to share a “deer caught in the headlights” look.
Posing with pubescent Israeli girls to accentaute one’s womanliness is awesome. Killing a sleeping Israeli girl’s mother and posing next to her on a beach towel to accentaute one’s womanliness is ****ed up.
Pammy is not a bad looking older model fem-bot.
But I gotta say – bring on the Marie Jon’ Calendar!
I also wonder what she did with the rest of my grandma’s couch after she shot to make that bikini.
oh don’t get me wrong – i too find her worthy of ridicule for hawking a boobie calendar of herself. [praise the FSM she didn’t wear a thong…..] and i don’t disagree about the general lowering of discourse by the right over the past, i don’t know, 27 years. nor do i personally eschew hitting below the belt in a street fight. i am as much a fan of the rude pundit as i am a competitor in rudeness.
i just have always been somewhat a proponent of frodo’s “fair-seeming-foul vs. foul-seeming-fair” maxim. i’m not prepared to say, “she’s a nutjob and a bad writer, therefore she’s ugly” any more than i’m prepared to say, “i agree with so-and-so, therefore he’s teh hott” – or vice-versa.
it could even be argued, from the patriarchalist point of view, that posing in a bathing suit is the first useful thing she’s done so far. but that’s not a view i’ll advocate publicly. my hypocrisy knows SOME bounds…….
Citizen Pornstar
I vote for including Malkin and the Onion Ring.
Agreed. Also, either Rennaisance Faire Noonan or Eyebrow Mustache Noonan.
Photoshop? Liposuction.
[…] (Hat tip to TBogg and the fallen souls at Sadly, No!) […]
i just have always been somewhat a proponent of frodo’s “fair-seeming-foul vs. foul-seeming-fair” maxim. i’m not prepared to say, “she’s a nutjob and a bad writer, therefore she’s ugly” any more than i’m prepared to say, “i agree with so-and-so, therefore he’s teh hott” – or vice-versa.
it could even be argued, from the patriarchalist point of view, that posing in a bathing suit is the first useful thing she’s done so far.
I also believe in the Frodo maxim, thank you for putting it that way.
I would also argue that there is nothing essentially patriarchal about enjoying looking at a hot babe in a bikini. This latest project of hers is more useful than her usual BS.
THEY PUT CINCO DE MAYO ON THE CALENDAR.
no way. that is some extra-special hilarity!
I’d hit it….with a stick maybe.
She’s grudge-fuck material at least, though she probably screams out John Bolton’s name no matter who’s tapping that ass.
What really fun is looking at all the photos where she poses next to a conservative ‘hero’ and try and to pick up on all the non verbal cues as to whether or not they’ve had a sexual relationship.
I think she’s batting 5/7. Cheney is a big fat NO. In fact he is the only man she seems a little intimidated of in the calendar. Gingrich is most likely a no too, but you can tell that it killed him to have to turn her down. All the other seem to be yeah, let’s jump in a cab and go back to my hotel.
I swear it’s not me in one of the pixes. Really. I can’t help looking like that. Please forgive me You have seen worse. Coultergeist rules the Underworld.
Aaaagggh! you people are dicks! I scrolled down and then — aaaagggh!
I know that the wingers around going to be wanking to this material … and … aggghh! Now I have to deal with them mental image of Herr Sammich extracting a core sample while seated on his toilet, with this calendar balanced precariously on his blubbery thighs!
“Jooonahhhhh!!!! Have you got my mason jar?”
“Shit! Oops (sound of shattering glass).”
I think she’s batting 5/7. Cheney is a big fat NO. In fact he is the only man she seems a little intimidated of in the calendar. Gingrich is most likely a no too, but you can tell that it killed him to have to turn her down. All the other seem to be yeah, let’s jump in a cab and go back to my hotel. and have weird animal sex.
But you need more than just good MILF with 7/10 breasts to egt these guys hard, what else does she have to do, does it even bear thinking about? Pictures of GWB in his flight suit, reading Victor Hanson diatribes, pictures of dear Iraqi’s……………..
that’s ‘dead’ Iraqi’s
bring on the Marie Jon’ Calendar!
Word
I’m sorry but there’s something egregiously wrong with that stomach. It looks like it’s been liposucted, liposucted again, and then seriously photoshopped using the liquifying tool to remove any vestiges of anything that looks remotely like a normal human abdomen.
Ah, Pammycakes. Today the illusion of babedumb; tomorrow, in true fascist hag progression, Lucianne-esk cross your knees, “Madame please cover up – people are vomiting in the pool!”
If you look at the other bikini picture in the calendar you can see that the belly-button shot in question here is either photoshopped, or the product of really bad plastic surgery at some date after the other picture, which shows Pammy normal (or as normal as The Bitch of Belsen will ever get)
What’s really awful is the picture of her with Michelle Malkin, whose existence does indeed prove there is life after retirement for overaged Olongapo boom-boom girls.
Don’t mess with Geller.
Pamela Geller is the most beautiful and intelligent blogger ever. In fact, she’s now the unofficial American Ambadassador to the UN, complete with Bolts from Bolt-on. And she packs a posse!
Like I said: Don’t mess with Geller.
Not Photoshopped, ya freaks! Giver the woman some credit. She’s had 4 kids. Honestly!
But no, no Photoshop. Seriously.
She’s had 4 kids. Honestly!
We know, Pim’s Ghost. She includes them in her insane, hateful vlogs.
Yeah, OK…now give her some credit for having a tight tummy after four kids with only exercise and no photoshop, OK LongIslander?
Yeah, OK…now give her some credit for having a tight tummy after four kids with only exercise and no photoshop, OK LongIslander?
No.
Lawn, ROFL….you’re as ornery as I am, aren’t you?
Cute one Lawn.