A Day Of Powerline
Because they generally crank it out faster than we can laugh at it, here’s nearly a day’s output of commentary, in sequence, from Powerline. (Note that John Hinderaker is absent from this particular run of posts — the equivalent of the Three Stooges performing without Moe Howard.)
Here’s a study showing something that we all know to be true: The biggest pork-barrel spenders are Democrats. When you click through the links, you find that it’s from a right-wing journal and a Glenn Reynolds enterprise, and is carefully designed to make Republicans look good and Democrats look bad. Heh-heh. I somehow forget to tell you that.
-Paul
On Sunday I linked to Debbie Schlussel and Little Green Footballs, who are outraged about Cat Stevens, a.k.a. Yusuf Islam, who performed at the Hamburg Live Earth concert. Today I reproduce an inflammatory remark from an apocryphal pamphlet allegedly written by Mr. Islam in 1988, the only reference to which is on right-wing websites. Except you don’t know about that, because in a moment of absent-mindedness (heh-heh), I quoted it as though he said it at the concert.
Andrew Bostom writes explaining that the entire Islamic religion is vicious and rotten.
-Scott
Democratic congressman Keith Ellison was once a Black Muslim, therefore he is a raving radical who represents anti-Semites and cop-killers, and the Democrats, generally speaking, have a political alliance with radical Islam. Here’s a quote from Ellison that makes him seem not at all as I’m describing. See how fiendishly clever the man is? Those Democrats and their nutball conspiracy theories!
-Scott
As we have previously noted, this so-called “art exhibit” at dear old Dartmouth is just some Chinese person who did stuff with braided human hair. We have previously noted that it serves as an indictment of all “modern art,” worldwide. Now a conservative student blogger at Dartmouth wonders: The hair is supposed to have come from commercial wig manufacturers — but was it actually obtained through violence, and is Dartmouth now helping to fund Communism? I won’t look into that or anything, I just like the way it helps ruin the exhibit.
-Scott
Robert Novak is the latest Republican to criticize the President on the war. Self-serving rubbish! Political hackery! Have you ever heard such uncritical transmission of Republican talking points!? Novak alleges a “split” in the Republican party on the war, but count on this, bub: The smaller the Republican base gets, the less it is fooled by Republican anti-war rhetoric.
Update: As we all know, the surge is a success at lowering reported sectarian violence and increasing reported Al Qaeda, uh, contact, which makes “increased violence” actually less violent, even while being more violent — according to some figures which… [achoo!] u89p4nier34 Whoops, hand slipped on the keyboard. No time to fix the link. Moreover, since the fact that we’re running out of troops to replace our troops means that we’ll have about the same number of troops, then if people say that less troops is bad, wouldn’t pulling out entirely actually be the opposite of what they want? Riddle me that!
-Paul
Since the surge is working, here’s something written by an army man about the Democrat and Republican partisan lies that say the surge isn’t working, as part of their attempt to defeat America. I found it unnecessary to mention that the army man is a Policy Specialist at the right-wing Manhattan Institute, or that his organization, ‘Vets For Freedom,’ is a Republican 527 front-group. Also, here’s something by Bill Kristol. Always a voice for sanity, Kristol calls on President Bush to do exactly as he’s been doing, but attack his critics more.
I find it hard to believe that President Bush would listen to the extremists counseling a pullout from Iraq. It would mar his presidency.
-Scott
I have no idea how you do this, Gavin.
I think I’d rather muck out a slaughterhouse.
Ah, the dulcet and truthy tones of Time Magazine’s Blog of the Year! Fucking liberal media.
Does any of this verbal diarrhea make sense?
Sadly, No!
Verbal diarrhea? Were they strapped to the roof of the Romney’s station wagon as kids?
t4toby: Seconded.
Damn you Gavin – i read you to stay away from that site – Please warn us about outside links.
i dont trust Microsoft or Glen R to know how to make an XLS file safe.
Evil corporate empire be damned
I’ve often wondered if stupid hurts. Dan Riehl denies that it does. What say the Powerline boys?
Ow, Legalize. the Powerline boys say ow.
pure gold. it takes true talent to convey the stuttering, mouthbreathing, limited-attention-span style these people go through their existence with. it is indeed a measure of your literary chops you can be so spot-on in your characterizations.
as my grandmother used to say: esos gueyes son puro pajaro nalgon…
Okay, Gavin, which is worse for you to sift through: Powerline or Swank? Powerline gives me the greater nausea, but Swank makes my eyes bleed more.
Seriously, give yourself more time between these sessions before you hurt yourself!
Just gonna delurk for a minute to point out this story that PROVES Keith Ellison is at the forefront of the Islamo-Atheist conspiracyjihadfest in Minnesota. It doesn’t get more radical than this, people.
http://www.startribune.com/462/story/1291147.html
Whoops, I meant to say that link is just for people who don’t want to click through to powerline; it’s the same article. It’s just too cool to miss.
Speaking of slogging through RightWingCrap, I’ve just come ‘Protein Wisdom.’ It seems that [for the umpteenth time] Mr. Godlstein is threatening to abandon his sycophants and has written a terse “Goodbye, Cruel World” post.
Unfortunately, t’s probably just the latest in the Protein Wisdom Conceptual Series of Scams to Fill the Tip Jar.
I can only assume you spent the last few years building up an immunity to Teh Stupid!
I think I’d rather muck out a slaughterhouse.
Truly! The literal version of Gavin’s efforts will at least provide some healthful aerobic upper-body conditioning. I hope our fearless Virgil wore an OSHA-approved respiratory device while skidding through the powerderline effluent, because there’s definite risk of inhaling brain-eating spores just from standing too close to that crap.
I’ve just come ‘Protein Wisdom.’
Isn’t that, like, redundant? And TMI?
whoops … of course, some people says Oops … “I’ve just come FROM Protein Wisdom (but, apparently, should have stopped at Dr. Freud’s office first.)
Heh. I hadda laugh. I know some guys like to name their “little guys,” just never heard of one naming his ejaculate.
Novelty amuses me.
“Moreover, since the fact that we’re running out of troops to replace our troops means that we’ll have about the same number of troops, then if people say that less troops is bad, wouldn’t pulling out entirely actually be the opposite of what they want? Riddle me that!”
I have to add my wonder and admiration to what previous commentors said: how do you read this mind rot daily, and not slip into a permanent coma? My brain hurts from trying to wrest any sense from that, and I’m sure I’ve lost at least five IQ points in the attempt. My hat’s off to you, good sir!
hi-larious Gavin.
He reads it over there so we can mock it over here. You’re a humanitarian, young man. Thank you for your service to your country.
I have no idea how you do this, Gavin.
Me either. It’s the sheer volume that gets me. I go check out Blogs for Bush to see just how far up his ass Noonan has shoved his head and to laugh at the commentariat, but that’s about all I can stand. I couldn’t look at B4B AND Clownhall AND Ole Perfessor AND Screeching Harpy AND NRO in one day–that’s just entirely too much wingnutia for me to take.
Teh Stupid! I’d bet my life on it! And there are the princess’ footprints. She’s alive, or was an hour ago.
But she is otherwise, I shall be very put out!
Whoa, hold up. I’m not clicking over there. But Bob-fucking-Novak is suddenly all anti-war? Someone please tell me his liver rebelled and learned to type. Tell me this is an elaborate hoax.
Tell me he at least apologized for his role in getting us into this clusterfuck.
My Bush-induced cognitive dissonance has long since blurred into outright psychosis. I can’t even guess at what any of these bastards will do what next. If they all start tearing off their suits and reveal themselves to be time-traveling millipede aliens from another dimension, I’m not even gonna blink at it.
but count on this, bub: The smaller the Republican base gets, the less it is fooled by Republican anti-war rhetoric.
Oh, Gavin. This is the cherry atop the whipped cream atop the hot fudge atop the Chunky Monkey. You are my idol.
Was the analogy a bit too Swank? sorry.
More truth about Keith Ellison
“Bombshell”: American Jewish World endorses Ellison
Those crafty mooooselims..
Thank you, Gavin! That’s exactly why I read this blog every day — I need the laughs and hate reading the actual crap!
Keith Ellison yabada yabada yabada bombshell!!11one!!!!!!
/wingnut
A day at the powerline should be followed by a night at the NRO.
A day at the powerline should be followed by a night at the NRO
And then by the merciful release of death…
If they all start tearing off their suits and reveal themselves to be time-traveling millipede aliens from another dimension, I’m not even gonna blink at it
Well, duh, that kind of thing shows up on Doctor Who all the time, so it has to be true, doesn’t it?
How many times does that make it now? Is anyone out there keeping count.
Well I can’t do it! I break out in a horrible rash every time I go there. I must be allergic to that pissant’s protein.
…and reveal themselves to be time-traveling millipede aliens from another dimension…
Umm, wouldn’t that make them dimension-traveling millipede aliens?
Just askin….
mikey
“It seems that [for the umpteenth time] Mr. Godlstein is threatening to abandon his sycophants and has written a terse “Goodbye, Cruel World” post.”
My guess, if I had to make one, is that MRS. Godlstein (now THERE’s a modern-day martyr) can no longer swing the rent, food & slappy-mag budget all by her lonesome, and Poor Jeffy has to go out and find some wor… some wo… some w…
No, wait – he’ll whip it out eventually…
mikey,
Not neccessarily. Maybe the time traveling took place after the dimension traveling. Maybe they’re just generally traveling sort of aliens. The important thing is that they’re aliens. Maybe insectoid or maybe those giant lizards David Icke talks about. I’m not real sure where I’m going with this, only I often wonder how people who don’t do drugs have gotten through the past six years.
Hi. We’re aliens.
Um, you’re kinda yucky looking. What do you do?
Oh, mostly, we travel.
So you’re…
Yep. Traveling aliens.
Are you insectoid?
Well, a couple dimensions back, we were, but they had this population of killer bots in white jumpsuits called the Terminix, so we…
You traveled..
Oh yeah. And we morphed. Into millipedes.
Travel AND morph?
Well, we have skills. We’ve found most planets won’t let in unskilled aliens.
Bummer.
mikey
The question, Matt T, is what is the most appropriate, most efficacious drug for the Bush years? I mean, sure, pot and booze and ecstasy are kind of a baseline. But they really aren’t holding back the horror of reality. In the immortal words of Huey Lewis, I want a NEW drug.
If I could get REAL LSD, well, fine, that’s the solution, but I’m not sure what this nasty weeny stuff they have now even is.
Some combination of Valium, Mushrooms and Dexamyl Spansules would work just about perfect. I need a better source….
mikey
Smoking lovely, all-natural opium would do it for me. I might even be able to watch Bush deliver a speech if I were physically lying on the couch but mentally floating on a cloud while he yammered away with his fake Texas twang…
I might even have a gentle smile on my face…
I’m sorry, Candy, but that’s a REALLY creepy image you just put in my head.
You know, after I posted that, I re-read it, and I’ll confess to creeping myself out.
I blame my recent attempts at copying Swank’s syntax and the lack of a preview button…
Ahhh, Candy, I was right there with ya. A few curls of the dragon from a little china white on tinfoil and I could listen to the boy with the codpiece ™ without pain.
Full disclosure.
I’d be naked…
mikey
Feh. What can you expect from the Blame Previewie First crowd?
I mean, sure, pot and booze and ecstasy are kind of a baseline.
I swear that last word was “vaseline” when I first read it.
Y’know mikey, I used to roll my eyes when, back in the day, my older friends used to go on and on about “the old acid” “Yeah this liquid you got is good, kid, but the old acid, yadda-yadda”.
Then one day, helping my folks move, I found an old deck of hand-painted playing cards with two band-aids stuck to back of the Joker… 5 hits of Black Windowpane, 3 hits of Purple Microdot. Figuring they couldn’t possibly be any good after 20+ years (this was the late 80s) I popped a couple hits of the windowpane.
I stopped rolling my eyes when you oldsters talked about “the old acid” after that.
“Full disclosure.
I’d be naked…
mikey”
Maybe if we all got high and nekkid before Bush’s next speechifying, it would create some sort of TM force which would act on Teh Shrub, changing him instantaneously into the Commander of Peace, and we’d have a world of rainbows and ponies for everyone. Hey, it would be worth a try. I’m willing to make the sacrifice.
I think someone with photoshop and photoshop talent needs to make a PowderLine banner. The real banner lends itself to an easy morph to the new one. What do you say?
The image would capture the kind of thinking going on at that wabside
Mikey, I nearly added “shape-shifting” to my description of the aliens but figured it would cause some debate about why they were bothering to be millipedes and then I’d have to explain that maybe they just like millipedes and someone would say well but if they shape shift, then they’re not really millipedes and I’d have to concede that yes, they were in fact interdimensional shape-shifting time-traveling aliens that are at this moment looking like millipedes and then someone would make a Futurama joke and then I’d just be exhausted from the whole thing.
Also, in terms of therapeutic drugs, try the Inderal. You get enough hairy zombies packed into your living room and hallway and kitchen, suddenly there’s precious little even Bush can do to scare you anymore. Plus there’s the added advantage that it gives you lots of good excuses to yell profanities at the TV and pretend you were talking to the zombies. On the other hand, the constant nausea is wearing thin, but that may not be an Inderal thing and instead more of a Mark-Noonan-is-trying-to-be-clever-again thing.
The real question is: Aliens, or Sub-humans?
I’m thinking Sleestaks from the Land of the Lost.
I think I’d rather muck out a slaughterhouse.
You think that’s bad? I just accidentally clicked on a link from Wonkette and wound up in the comments section of LGF. Jeebus Creeping Christmas, but those people are off their shit!
The daily howler monkey screech-fest was over the LA Times having the temerity to publish an op-ed piece by a guy from Hamas. The congregation was pretty united on the opinion that the creeping liberals at the Times should be hauled out of their offices When The Day Comes (as it will, oh yes, it will, they are all very very sure about that).
To the tune of 851 messages, the LGF’ers were hopping up and down and brandishing their privates over the thought that any media outlet would bother to actually inform their readers of the viewpoints of some of the people that the gummint tells us are our enemies. For them, the fact that fine, upstanding people like Cheney tells ’em that they are enemies is enough.
Urg … blech … [queasy stomach] … I think I need a hazmat suit before I go back in there…
Doodle Bean:
Or you’re worried that he’ll try to slap you with it.
Fluffybunnyfeet:
Pfft. Reminds me of that Chumbawumba/Bill Clinton parody that was going ’round t3h internetz several years back. Though for the benefit of Cockslappio, we should give it new lyrics…
I think I can guarantee that that’s not all they were doing…
Dartmouth now helping to fund Communism
Yeah, Dartmouth, butt out! Funding Chinese Communism is Wal-Mart’s job!
Well, we have skills. We’ve found most planets won’t let in unskilled aliens.
Ba-dumCHING!
Very nice, mikey
Your link to Little Green Footballs now goes through to one of his patented ‘You Are An Idiot’ animations. Actually, he’s right, I am an idiot for clicking on his shitty blog.