I talked to the Associated Press the other day, and she said he’s been sleeping in his car in front of her house. Some days he wears a rubber Nixon mask and just stands on her lawn listening to Nine Inch Nails on his iPod. Then he disappears for a week or two, but her cell phone blows up with hang-up calls.

The other morning, there was a mutilated baby doll on the steps. Should she be alarmed?

I had nothing to do with this.

I don’t know why someone would bother to update their blog with something like this: “07/06/2007 Update: Actually, it’s a non-update: 24 hours after sending the letter above to various Associated Press directors and their director of media relations, the Associated Press has not responded in any way, shape, or form.”

This just in: 20 Iraqis are still not dead.

Are those spittle flecks or is it just a low-res photograph?

A police officer stationed 12 miles from where Guncounter Gomer decided the massacre happened don’t know shit about shit, but Gomer, several thousand miles away, does, cause he gots the spidey-sense and google maps.
Shit, he can’t even get New York state geography right, calling Albany about 75 miles from nyc. I’ve driven that bit of thruway several thousand times. It’s twice that.
I think I’m going to email him and demand a correction.

Where would we be without our citizen journalists, who do all of their reporting from the field?

Oh, wait…

I’m going to just have to accept your “shorter” becaue when I try to read the original, my eyes glaze over. He’s truly unreadable.

Or wait… is ace Gomer?
Can’t keep my wingnuts straight.

I’m beginning to rethink this strategy of mocking the wingnuts and pointing out their complete lack of consistency, morals, higher order thinking. They seem completely shameless, devoid of humor and incapable of learning. Maybe if we all chipped in a few bucks and got them laid, they’d mellow a bit.

Someone want to pass the hat?

I’ve got to put in a word for the old Confederate Yankee here. First, compared to many others I could name–Toldjah, Malkin, Coulter, Schlussel, Wuzzadem, et al–the man in practically Solomonic in his wisdom. Second, he actually seems to know something about firearms laws and use, recurring topics on his blog. Third, he welcomes Lefty comments and he really does try to cut namecalling by Righties to a minimum. He’s generally not spittle-flecked at all.

Also, the Michael Yon post he’s mentioning is pretty in-your-face and thought-provoking.

For the record, this rethinking of using a mocking strategy does not apply to anyone that might look like Vince Neil or live blogs American Idol whilst not, I repeat NOT, drunk on red wine.

Jamil Hussein said,

I had nothing to do with this.

You couldn’t have. You don’t exist.

Someone want to pass the hat?

Not on your life. What poor sex-worker would you inflict these guys on, you ANIMAL?!

My email about CY’s error;

Dear CY,
In attempting to lecture the AP on how to do their jobs you made a mistake of your own, and compounded it by quoting your mistaken passage in your pajamas media piece. The distance from Queens to Albany is approximately 132 miles, according to ask.com. I’ve driven from NYC to Albany several hundred times in my life, and that is an accurate estimate.
That is significantly more than 75 miles, as you repeatedly claimed. If you can’t get the basic geography of a state you lived in right….
I expect a prominent and vocal display of contrition, as you obviously hold yourself to the strictest fact-finding standards. In addition, I expect you to go through your archives and doublecheck all your geographical analogies, as you obviously wouldn’t demand the AP meet a level of diligence that you yourself won’t meet.

Once again, so what? What’s the point? That things can get fuzzy in a war zone? Check. That reporters usually are NOT where the ugly happens? Check. That reporting events in a civil war is hard because everybody you talk to has an agenda? Check.

So say massacre one never happened and massacre two happened. Or vice versa. Or they both happened. Or neither. What’s it mean? Why is it SO important to demonstrate that it’s difficult to report from a war zone, that you can’t always get it right and sometimes you will even get it wrong? That means you want the other guys to win? Or the OTHER other guys?

Lugar, Domenicci et al are starting to get it. This thing is a complete fucking disaster, and there’s nobody with both the motivation and the wherewithal to end it. So blood flows, lives are destroyed and the daily horrorshow continues.

And this is what the deadend 28 percenters have to shout about. Not that America is wasting it’s youth, destroying it’s military and pissing away a trillion dollars, but that MAYBE the AP got a story, well, if not wrong then not right either.

It is nothing but sad when winning the argument or clinging to some vestiges of power is more important than ending the horror. Thanks Ace – your contribution is noted…

mikey

Also, the Michael Yon post he’s mentioning is pretty in-your-face and thought-provoking.

You see, the racket here is that Confederate Yankee and others in that circuit will bicker and haggle over any negative story from Iraq that the media can’t ‘prove’ to an impossible standard. But when Yon reports on stories, he treats official statements as gospel, and anything he asserts is accepted without challenge.

The ‘Bless The Beasts And Children’ story is horrifying, but when Yon says that the massacre was carried out by Al Qaeda, the evidence is that Yon heard that an unnamed Iraqi scout told the Americans that someone was an Al Qaeda fighter who “cut off the heads of children.” Yon just accepts this and doesn’t inquire any further.

Compare that to the furore over the AP’s anonymous sourcing. There’s simply no parity in the way the right treats these stories.

For an analogy to help in understanding just why reporting from a war zone can frequently be so shitty, think back to Katrina.

Remember some of the stories we all heard coming out of the Superdome? I remember hearing that someone committed suicide by jumping from some of the nosebleed seats to the floor, and that over twenty people had been murdered, including a little girl who had been raped to death. This wasn’t blog gossip, either – this was CNN. And I don’t even really pay that much attention to TV news – if you do, I’ll bet you can probably recite even more gruesome stories.

How much of this actually happened? I have no idea. A quick Google search for “Katrina Superdome myths” turns up over a hundred thousand hits. Some of the top hits are newspaper articles reporting on the phenomenon of exaggerated stories in the wake of Katrina, but I didn’t see a debunking story. I’m not even sure how I’d go about sorting through all that to get an accurate picture of the events.

And this happened less than a thousand miles from where I am currently sitting – on U.S. soil.

The chaos over there is quite literally beyond my imagining, and probably beyond the imagining of most people reading this – mikey being a notable exception. Frankly, I’m surprised we get as much coverage out of Iraq that seems as halfway decent as it does – it’s a testimony to how hard some reporters work.

#

“Gavin M. said,

July 6, 2007 at 21:14

Also, the Michael Yon post he’s mentioning is pretty in-your-face and thought-provoking.

You see, the racket here is that Confederate Yankee and others in that circuit will bicker and haggle over any negative story from Iraq that the media can’t ‘prove’ to an impossible standard. But when Yon reports on stories, he treats official statements as gospel, and anything he asserts is accepted without challenge.

The ‘Bless The Beasts And Children’ story is horrifying, but when Yon says that the massacre was carried out by Al Qaeda, the evidence is that Yon heard that an unnamed Iraqi scout told the Americans that someone was an Al Qaeda fighter who “cut off the heads of children.” Yon just accepts this and doesn’t inquire any further.

Compare that to the furore over the AP’s anonymous sourcing. There’s simply no parity in the way the right treats these stories.”

Yeah, that’s what I wanted to say exactly. And I read the Yon piece as well, and yes it is pretty horrifying.

update: still no update on the correct distance to Albany.

That dude looks like Lee Harvey Oswald!

CY responded to my email.
“Wow. I’m sure there is a circle of Hell set aside just for evil folks such as I who make geographically inaccurate analogies.”
That’s all, alas.

Yeah I’m not sure that Yon piece checks out. Everything bad is done by Al Qaeda. Really? It couldn’t be another faction? It’s too honed to a propaganda shine for me.

“Wow. I’m sure there is a circle of Hell set aside just for evil folks such as I who make geographically inaccurate analogies.”

Damn right. It’s between the circle for people who leave THREE FUCKING CAR LENGTHS between them and the car in front at stop lights, and puppies.

Yeah. Puppies? Straight to hell. It’s a contractual thing, mostly. We don’t like to talk about it.

But is there a correction?

He updated his post, but not the pajamas media post

7/06/07 Update: Ever able to miss the overall point, an observant liberal snarks via email that the distance from Albany to New York City is 130+ miles, and so my analogy is geographically inaccurate–as if a cop in Fishkill, NY would be any more knowledgeable about an event in NYC than the cop in Albany would. Whatever. I’m sure you all understand the analogy just so much more now that it is geographically precise. Right?

lolcats

And actually, most of the cops in nyc live in areas like Fishkill, because they can’t afford to live in the city they protect.
Should I email him back?

“Wow. I’m sure there is a circle of Hell set aside just for evil folks such as I who make geographically inaccurate analogies.”

Yep. Just below the one for people who darken smoke or screw with font kerning.

On another note, a headline from Newsweek, via Slate:
Hirsh: Exploring Islam’s ‘Death Cult’
Fri, 6 Jul 2007 19:01:32 GMT

This, a story produced for consumption in a country that, while not Islamic, nonetheless holds much reverence for images of a guy with a sucking chest wound nailed to a piece of wood, dying, goes with a headline that implicitly suggests something exotic about death-cultery.

As one Sadly Nosian so aptly put it: *headdesk*

“7/06/07 Update: Ever able to miss the overall point, an observant liberal snarks via email that the distance from Albany to New York City is 130+ miles, and so my analogy is geographically inaccurate–as if a cop in Fishkill, NY would be any more knowledgeable about an event in NYC than the cop in Albany would. Whatever. I’m sure you all understand the analogy just so much more now that it is geographically precise. Right?”

What a wiener. Whenever they try to be witty, they just sound angry and venal.

mikey: Once again, so what? What’s the point? That things can get fuzzy in a war zone? Check. That reporters usually are NOT where the ugly happens? Check. That reporting events in a civil war is hard because everybody you talk to has an agenda? Check.

FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt) is the point. Its not so much about the accuracy of any particular story, its about maintaining the illusion that its all going just peachy over there and the only reason people don’t think so is because the is the press is lying or inaccurate.

Its the Chuckles Johnson school of media crit: Hypercritically comb every sentence in a story for apparent inconsistencies/imprecise language, then, if you find one (no matter how incidental to the meat of the story) you use that as “evidence” to attack the credibility of the story/reporter/news org/mammals in general.

It would be merely tedious if they applied the same standard to all news stories, but whereas stories they don’t like get the Chuckles Treatment, ones that shore up their beliefs are treated as revealed wisdom from the hand of god (even if the pro-wingut-meme story comes from a news org/reporter they were saying is a liar and a traitor just the day before).

Whoops, still had my blue flying goggles on.

It would be merely tedious if they applied the same standard to all news stories, but whereas stories they don’t like get the Chuckles Treatment, ones that shore up their beliefs are treated as revealed wisdom from the hand of god (even if the pro-wingut-meme story comes from a news org/reporter they were saying is a liar and a traitor just the day before).

Shorter Reich-wing bloggers: We’ve always been at war with Eurasia. *One week passes* We’ve always been at war with Eastasia.

I’m sure there is a circle of Hell set aside just for evil folks such as I who make geographically inaccurate analogies.

there is a much more appropriate circle of Hell awaiting mr. CY.

You know adb, the funny thing would be that if the AP made a 75 mile glitch in their reporting, Gomer would be all over it.

A massacre in the town of Khurtaylah 75 miles from Tikrit? But according to Google Earth Khurtaylah is over 130 miles from Tikrit! Do these people even bother checking their stories before helping the terrorists?

I’m surprised he didn’t argue that he was spreading false information in case the Islamofascists were planning to attack NYC via Albany.

Once again, so what? What?s the point? That things can get fuzzy in a war zone? Check. That reporters usually are NOT where the ugly happens? Check. That reporting events in a civil war is hard because everybody you talk to has an agenda? Check.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. The MSM reporters clearly did not buy a program at the Baqubah massacre. You can’t tell the insurgents from Al Qaeda without a program!

It’s not like the terrorists wear names on the backs of their jerseys. Just numbers and Nike swooshes and team logos of birds and animals and cute little cartoon suicide bombers.

Ace ponied up the three clams for his program*, and that’s why he knows the MSM is retarded.

*Also, he got crackerjacks and a big foam ‘Shi’ites No. 1’ finger.

Should I email him back?

Oh, do. Do!!!

So the idea is (sorry, I can’t bring myself to actually read the guy) that stories of ONE massacre is damaging to the US, so it’s manufactured by the reporters with a defeatist agenda (I’m looking at YOU Jamail Hussen!) but the stories of ANOTHER massacre is positive for the US and the biased media is suppressing it?

How does that work exactly?

What if the reporting were going his way, and the only massacres in Iraq were the positive ones? Would that make it better?

It’s a far cry from stories about Painting Schools.

That fool is just a newyork deli yankee of the Machihamowitz Liberman camp, he should drop the confederate.

The League of the South, the main ideological outpost of the old confederacy, has nothing good to say about this carpetbagger war or Rebbe Menachem Mendel Bushowitz.

The League of the South, the main ideological outpost of the old confederacy, has nothing good to say about this carpetbagger war or Rebbe Menachem Mendel Bushowitz.

Um, someone call a cab; Mr. Dershowitz is drunk-trolling again…

um, er, need we note that there would be no child-beheading squads of al qaeda in iraq if um er we hadnt invaded iraq and ignored the war in afghanistan? … assuming yon has his facts straight — which i would not assume since 2 years ago i kids you not he wrote extensively about how diyala province had been pacified and stabilized. check through his archives. its a groundhog day of peace and safety every day. all that said, the guy being a blatant propagandist and slovenly reporter, i will deeply credit his courage being there in the hot zones. too bad he has such a plain agenda.

Let me get this straight., If reporters are not on the scene to report “something awful” then they are helping the terra-ists. If they ARE on the scene to report “something awful” then they are also helping the terra-sts??? Just wanted to get the wingnut logical straight.

Why does he call himself “Confederate Yankee” anyway? Was “northern white-trash bigot” already taken?

Gavin –

Thanks for the oblique shout-out to Monty Python’s Very Silly Party sketch, wherein candidates such as “Fintin limbim ole biscuitbarrel (etc. etc.)” vyed with the simply silly candidates like “Jethro Walrustitty”.

Now that I think about it, “Jethro P. Walrustitty” is a pretty good alternative moniker for CY (along the lines of “Doughy Pantload” and “Dr. Sammich”).

How much more frenzied are the reality-deniers likely to become in the next few months, as more and more GOP apparatchiks glumly eye the polls and the 2008 elections, and start to jump ship? You can’t even say that they are clinging to straws anymore, to justify their dedication to the Iraq disaster. They’re all pretty much at the Wile E. Coyote stage, frantically pedaling their feet in mid-air above the abyss, hanging their with a woebegon expression on their mugs.

S,N! in this particular simile, would play the part of the Roadrunner, standing safely on the cliff, sticking its/our collective tongue(s) out and taunting their latest ridiculous Acme purchase…

[…] Big Dog blowing a chance to take down Osama is astounding. The score, Captain – 0. The Truth – 1. Sadly No! takes down Confederate Yankee – CY is a true cultist, he is not the least bothered by eyewitness accounts or official records he […]

[…] with a degree of hyperbole. It is called ‘exaggeration for effect.’ Thus, when the SN! guys write “Shorter Confederate Yankee: Dear Associated Press: Your refusal to retract the false […]