End of a dynasty
It’s a sad, sad day.
Takeru Kobayashi – the Tiger Woods/San Antonio Spurs/New York Yankees/New England Patriots of hot dog eating – has been defeated:
In a gut-busting showdown that combined drama, daring and indigestion, Joey Chestnut emerged Wednesday as the world’s hot dog eating champion, knocking off six-time winner Takeru Kobayashi in a rousing yet repulsive triumph.
Chestnut, the great red, white and blue hope in the annual Fourth of July competition, broke his own world record by inhaling 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes — a staggering one every 10.9 seconds before a screaming crowd in Coney Island.
“If I needed to eat another one right now, I could,” the 23-year-old Californian said after receiving the mustard-yellow belt emblematic of hot dog eating supremacy.
Kobayashi, the Japanese eating machine, recently had a wisdom tooth extracted and received chiropractic treatment due to a sore jaw. But the winner of every Nathan’s hot dog competition from 2001 to 2006 showed no ill effects as he stayed with Chestnut frank-for-frank until the very end of the 12-minute competition.
Kobayashi finished with 63 HDBs — hot dogs and buns eaten — in his best performance ever. His previous high in the annual competition was 53½. The all-time record before Wednesday’s remarkable contest was Chestnut’s 59½, set just last month.
The king is dead. Long live the king:
Umm, yay San Jose!? Hey, we lead the universe in the seven deadly sins…
mikey
USA! USA! USA! USA Number 1!!!1!!!!one!!!!!111!!!! FUCKIN’ A! USA! USA! USA! Fuck France WE”RE NUMBeR FUCKIN ONE FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH GFUCK YEAH I GOTCHER FUCKING SUSHI RIGHT HERE KOBAYASHI FUCK YEAH WE”RE NOMBER ! USA USAUSHA HAUS ALH:FJKLDHFq34u857t890qesfuil; FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
ESPN covers this? Greatest Athlete known to man? And I though our sports channel sucked for covering professional poker as a sport.
er thought. I blame anyone/anything but me for the not-my mistake. Yeah.
Wow, that’s harsh. Kobayashi destroys his own personal best by almost 10 hot dogs but still loses.
Does that mean now he will stage a comeback by hiring Apollo Creed to train him, and getting back into shape with a bout against Thunderlips?
I can’t wait to read Buster Olney’s book – er pamphlet – on the rise and fall of this weenie-eating hero.
I see your video, Brad, and raise you the limit.
“He is arguably the best athlete in any sport today.”
Fuck. Off.
Well, great, thunderdon’t. Now I’m going to just spend my day very, very confused. I think I need a lie down…
I’m not on board with calling it a sport, but let’s face it; it requires way more athletic prowess than golf or car-driving.
Ah, competitive eating: the quintessential American sport.
Seriously. Fuck this bullshit.
Uncle Sam is an obese, giggling, flatulent, lobotomized eunuch, intoxicated by the pungent stench of his own effluivia.
Uncle Sam is an obese, giggling, flatulent, lobotomized eunuch, intoxicated by the pungent stench of his own effluivia.
And that’s on a good day, right after his nap, just before he starts huffing spray-on lacquer….
mikey
Why does every winner of an eating contest announce at the end that they really aren’t that full and they could keep eating? Is that part of the official rules or something?
I dunno the answer, but I’m glad you pointed that out, fardels carnivorous ursine. Because I’m going to apply it regularly in my life. At the end of blog posts I’ll just point out “y’know, I could type a whole lot more if I wanted to”.
I’m going to stop people on the street and tell them “Know what? I took a big crap this morning. But I could have kept on crapping. I could have crapped a house, or maybe even a decent sized moon.”
Yep. This is the thing that’s finally going to make me popular!
mikey
(I could have come up with a whole bunch more examples)
Because excessive consumption of food is GREAT!
OK, politically correct comment posted, I have to say that something in me still admires Kobayashi.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/07/04/gore.son.arrest.ap/index.html
whoops. Prepare for wingnut shrieking.
On the plus side, his Prius was boppin’ along at 100mph, so that’ll be good for sales. On the down side, hybrid cars are bad for the environment… hmmmm
Prepare for wingnut shrieking.
Gawd Dammed pot smokers11!!
Why can’t those hiippiies be more like Viagra popping, hillbilly heroin addicted, child rapist good old Rush *my ass hurts too much to go to Vietnam* Limbaugh?
“rousing yet repulsive”
Not a very helpful description – I mean, they could be talking about anything.
It’s kinda snappy, though, just like “I could have kept on (doing whatever).”
Considering Mikey’s contribution – “Know what? I took a big crap this morning. But I could have kept on crapping. I could have crapped a house, or maybe even a decent sized moon. It was rousing, yet repulsive.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkrMgm3dJVw
Happy 4th!
Mikey:
I think most bears are omnivorious. Well some are. Polar bears aren’t but the black bear is. I could research it if I wanted but google is a long walk from my house.
I could keep on researching it even after I won the thread if I wanted.
I was thinking that shortly after I pushed the button. Dammit. I was left hoping no one would notice. That’s worked for me in the past…
mikey
“Why does every winner of an eating contest announce at the end that they really aren’t that full and they could keep eating? Is that part of the official rules or something?”
I think it’s the same reason (hypothetically speaking of course) why Curt Schilling always says that he could have gone out there to close out the 9th, even if, well, he got tagged for 6 earned through 4 and 1/3.
I think it was a couple years ago when I said — and it still stands — that competitive shitting is the real sport here. You don’t think it would be hugely entertaining to watch one of these tools squeeze out a Volkswagen-sized dump after scarfing six dozen hot dogs? You’d sell out the stadium in ten minutes. U-S-A! U-S-A! Deee-fence! Ungh! Ungh! Deee-fence! Ungh! Ungh! And so forth.
Thanks Emperor for the link.
Emperor U.S.A. (the naked truth) said,
July 4, 2007 at 23:26
Seriously. Fuck this bullshit.
Uncle Sam is an obese, giggling, flatulent, lobotomized eunuch, intoxicated by the pungent stench of his own effluivia.
That may be true, especially if you are a self-hater, but you might note that the guys who win these hotdogeating contests aren’t obese.
They have weird strechy stomachs.
But, you know, it’s not really funny. There’s something wrong with these people, something that only mob psychology and a weirdly-niched pseudo-celebrity culture can even start to explain. Only in America could someone actually make money and become famous for eating.
Only an american could think that only in america couild someone make money from competitive eating. Only americans are that small world.
Sad really. I blame the Baby Boomers.
I’m thinking there might be a place somewhere in the world for self-loathing americans.
Maybe Latvia? They got great internet connectivity, and language skills, better than Americans. They have dreams, a future.
So I’m thinking you whiners might want to grab a street corner in Riga, rant about how much you and your country suck, throw down a hat, make a few lat.
Good plan, Randall. Self-loathers to Latvia, Authoritarian religious fundies to Saudi Arabia.
And those militia-nut separatists can go to Columbia. They’d fit in nice, there.
Some Guy said,
July 5, 2007 at 12:16
Good plan, Randall. Self-loathers to Latvia, Authoritarian religious fundies to Saudi Arabia.
And those militia-nut separatists can go to Columbia. They’d fit in nice, there.
Whatever. Just so long as I dont have to listen to them whine about how dreadful is their country.
Well, Randy, if you were to jump off the nearest tall building, it would probably give those people hope.
FYI: competitive eating is supposed to have a large following in Japan.
I’m thinking there might be a place somewhere in the world for self-loathing americans.
Maybe Latvia?
Nah. Why should I move? They’re the ones who suck. Let the stupid freak-show move to Latvia, or back up their own asses, and they can competitively eat our collective shorts.
Or hell, even get a useful job.
I can’t believe no one’s suggested a different kind of eating contest.
that competitive shitting is the real sport here.
Who does Number 2 work for?
Heywood J. said,
July 5, 2007 at 18:46
I’m thinking there might be a place somewhere in the world for self-loathing americans.
Maybe Latvia?
Nah. Why should I move? They’re the ones who suck. Let the stupid freak-show move to Latvia, or back up their own asses, and they can competitively eat our collective shorts.
Or hell, even get a useful job.
Oh fertheloveofgod will you stop whining?