How many Cure songs can I name, then?

One per band. Unless it’s Fall Out Boy, in which case I, and I alone, can list the entire catalog. Am I making up these rules as I go? Why yes I am.

“Why does it hurt when I pee?” Frank Zappa.

“Raindrops keep falling on my head”? BJ Thomas

Only Happy When It Rains, Garbage.

She Gotta Pee, Weird Al Yankovic.

Before The Next Teardrop Falls, Freddy Fender.

Guns and Roses, November Rain?

Rain O’er Me The Who
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road Elton John…what?

Rainy Day Lovers? The Rain In Spain?

Just to put it over the top, Freddy Fender has his own water tower in San Benito Texas.

The entire soundtrack to the Crow.

Raindrops keep falling on my head?

What? No Happy Flowers? Okay, pretty obscure atonal noise rock dealing with disturbing infantile themes, but still they did have a song called I Wet the Bed, Again. Not as good as Mom, I Gave the Cat Some Acid or Mom and Dad Like the Baby More Than Me, but what are you gonna do.

Who’ll Stop the Rain?

Rain (The Beatles):

If the rain comes they run and hide their heads.
They might as well be dead.
If the rain comes, if the rain comes.

Sounds like bedwetters to me! Rain as a metaphor for terrorists!! They hate us for our Beatles!!!

Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins

Nights in White Satin by the Moody Blues; the full version with the horrible poetry reading at the end

Happiness is a Warm Gun by The Beatles

Piss On U by R. Kelly (by Dave Chappelle)

Haters wanna hate
Lovers wanna love
I don’t even want none of the above
I want to piss on you

“Pay to Cum” – Bad Brains

Just kidding…. that songs awesome.

uh, I’m confused. I thought Blogs4Brownback was a satirical site. Is bradrocket playing along, or is sisyphus the only blogger4brownback in on the joke?

You should never have introduced me to this site. It may take over from y’all as my favorite place to go for a laugh. It’s a frickin’ glory hole.

“Golden Slumbers” – The Beatles

“wet wet wet!” – princess superstar
“slippery dick” – peaches
“wade in the water” – (spiritual)
“take me to the river” – talking heads
and
“hoover dam” – by sugar:

“If the Mississippi should wash me away
Down to New Orleans
Maybe someday in my dreams
I’d wake feeling the sweat
From the gulf in my mouth
…
Covered up with lava and I feel fine
It washes over me
Keeps me feeling warm at night
And if you’ve made a deal with
The guy with the horns and the cape
I’ll see you later later

Standing on the edge
Of the Hoover Dam
Standing on the edge
Of the Hoover Dam I am”

When the Levee Breaks – covered by Led Zeppelin

Texas Flood – covered by Stevie Ray Vaughn

Yellow – Coldplay

and…
Why don’t you change your evil sheets, bay-beee…
(yeah, I know those aren’t really the words to Evil Ways, but sheeit.)

I really have nothing, but it seems to me that Frampton ought to be in here somewhere…

mikey

rainy day sun by spinal tap

in her golden gossamer gown,
and a necklace of the finest rainbows,
drying out this rainy day town.

Modest Mouse’s entire catalog. Oh fuck that, I’m nominating the whole of emo.

I really have nothing, but it seems to me that Frampton ought to be in here somewhere…

How’s that song go? “Ooh, baby I love your spray…”

Here’s a couple more:

I Come From the Water by The Toadies

Vats of Urine by Dangerdoom

Modest Mouse’s first, crappy, Built-to-Spill-wannabe album.

Oh, I see that evilchemistry beat me to the punch.

i knew a guy who, years before his gig as a DJ at the strip club a few blocks from my apt, did a brief stint as a touring drummer for what may be one of the most fucked up musical acts to have ever crawled the face of the earth, so with that, i say The Mentors “Golden Showers”…

“Red Rain,” Peter Gabriel

“Purple Rain,” The Artist Formerly Known As and Now Known Again as Prince

Todd is right. The Happy Flowers belong here. I suggest I’m Gonna Have a Accident.

Randy Newman. “Louisiana, 1927”:

The river rose all day
The river rose all night
Some people got lost in the flood
Some people got away alright
The river have busted through clear down to Plaquemines
Six feet of water in the streets of Evangeline

TRex

Cheers.

Stone Temple Pilots – Wet My Bed

How about “I Don’t Wanna Go Down to the Basement”?

Happy Flowers

OMG. They were incredible, in their own little strange, difficult-to-listen-to way. Thanks for that college radio flashback.

I recall that nothing—and I mean nothing—on the same label as HF was anywhere near vaguely normal. Homestead, was it?

“Five Feet High and Risin”

Dashboard Confessional is not rock.

oh yeah, there’s Van Morrison’s “TB Sheets”, which is actually a sad song about his girlfriend dying from tuberculosis, but it is about desecrated sheets, plus one time the song cued up while I was in my car desperately having to pee and no rest stops in sight and there’s this whole extended jam where Van is singing, *emotionally*, “GOTTA go! GOTTA go! gotta gotta gotta gotta go, gotta go, gotta go.” I may even have left out a couple gotta go’s.

“mama” by my chemical romance.

and yeah i fucking love that band. sue me. lol.

“Yellow River” – Lou Christie (?)
“Mellow Yellow” – Donovan
“Just a Song Before I Go” – Crosby Stills & Nash
“Accidents Will Happen” – Elvis Costello

The Mentors. (R. I. P. El Duce)
On a lighter note, bad haiku:
When you wet the bed,
First it is warm,
Then it is cold.

Yeah, Happy Flowers were on Homestead, that’s good classic rock.

Here we go:

Nick Drake: Poor Boy

Never sing for my supper
I never help my neighbour
Never do what is proper
For my share of labour.

I’m a poor boy
And I’m a rover
Count your coins and
Throw them over my shoulder
I may grow older
Nobody knows
How cold it grows
And nobody sees
How shaky my knees
Nobody cares
How steep my stairs
And nobody smiles
If I cross their stiles.

Oh poor boy
So sorry for himself
Oh poor boy
So worried for his health.
You may say every day
Where will he stay tonight.

Never know what I came for
Seems that I’ve forgotten
Never ask what I came for
Or how I was begotten.

I’m a poor boy
And I’m a ranger
Things I say
May seem stranger than Sunday
Changing to Monday.
Nobody knows
How cold it flows
And nobody feels
The worn down heels
Nobody’s eyes
Make the skies
Nobody spreads
Their aching heads.

Oh poor boy
So worried for his life
Oh poor boy
So keen to take a wife.

He’s a mess but he’ll say yes
If you just dress in white.

Nobody knows
How cold it blows
And nobody sees
How shaky my knees
Nobody cares
How steep my stairs
And nobody smiles
If you cross their stiles.

Oh poor boy
So sorry for himself
Oh poor boy
So worried for his health.
You may say every day
Where will he stay tonight.

Oh poor boy
So worried for his life
Oh poor boy
So keen to take a wife.

Oh poor boy
So sorry for himself
Oh poor boy
So worried for his health
Oh poor boy.

Nick Drake: Man in a Shed

Well there was a man who lived in a shed
Spent most of his days out of his head
For his shed was rotten let in the rain
Said it was enough to drive any man insane
When it rained
He felt so bad
When it snowed he felt just simply sad.

Well there was a girl who lived nearby
Whenever he saw her he could only simply sigh
But she lived in a house so very big and grand
For him it seemed like some very distant land
So when he called her
His shed to mend,
She said I’m sorry you’ll just have to find a friend.

Well this story is not so very new
But the man is me, yes and the girl is you
So leave your house come into my shed
Please stop my world from raining through my head
Please don’t think
I’m not your sort
You’ll find that sheds are nicer than you thought.

Nick Drake: Parasite

Lifting the mask from a local clown
Feeling down like him
Seeing the light in a station bar
And travelling far in sin
Sailing downstairs to the Northern Line
Watching the shine of the shoes
Hearing the trials of the people there
Who’s to care if they lose

Take a look you may see me on the ground
For I am the parasite of this town

Dancing a jig in a church with chimes
A sign of the times today
Hearing no bell from the steeple tall
People all in dismay
Falling so far on a silver spoon
Making the moon for fun
Changing a rope for a size too small
People all get hung

Take a look you may see me coming through
For I am the parasite who travels two by two

When lifting the mask from a local clown
And feeling down like him
And I’m seeing the light in a station bar
And travelling far in sin
And I’m sailing downstairs to the Northern Line
Watching the shine of the shoes
And hearing the trials of the people there
Who’s to care if they lose

Take a look you may see me on the ground
For I am the parasite of this town
And take a look you may see me in the dirt

For I am the parasite who hangs from your skirt

American Music Club Hula Maiden

Well I got into Waikiki
And I spend my time up in the hotel room
No sunburn for me
No friends no family

Yes I see the view
Well I think I seen it somewhere before
Curled up on the sand
Curled up on the floor

And the hula maiden says
I’ll give you everything for free
You’re as hungry as the tide
That’s drowning me

Well I took my big free ride
I went out to the big barbecue
And I got smashed on the beach
I was thinking about you

This is my big aloha
Brought to you from the volcano state
Where they serve up your soul
For $3.99 a plate

And the hula maiden says
I’ll give you everything for free
Oh sugar you’re as hungry as the tide
That’s washing over me

And the hula maiden said
Oh darling I see it in your eyes
Well did you do it over here beautiful
Did you come here to die
Well she said did you come here to buy

Well this my big aloha
Coming to you from the volcano state
Where they lose track of your soul
And never bring you your spaghetti plate

AMC: How many six-packs does it take to screw in a light?

I never had a lot to bring to the party
But a self-importance far beyond vanity
And a manic depression that just wouldn’t go away
Like Peckinpah with a bouquet of poison ivy

How many six packs does it take to screw in a light
It’s good to be alive baby, sometimes it’s alright

Nothing like a little vacation once in awhile
At the Cable Car Hotel San Francisco style
For three nights and three days
Jesus hung on a boom box while it played
Every single song ever sung by Billie Holiday

How many six packs does it take to screw in a light
It’s good to be alive baby, sometimes it’s alright

Afterwards I’m on California Street looking at the sky
The sun is going down pouring salt into my eyes
Like he said: When the light goes out so does fear
And you only see beauty as it begins to disappear

How many six packs does it take to screw in a light
It’s good to be alive baby, sometimes it’s alright

AMC: I am Fassbinder

god help me i think i’m about to die
and guess what i wasted my whole life
all the times i hurt you with my lies
can you see any sunlight left in my eyes

that’s why i had to push you away
can you find something in me to love

“Happy when it rains” Jesus and Mary Chain.

“Uncontrollable Urge” by Devo
“They Saved Hitler’s Cock” by The Angry Samoans
“Golden Shower of hits” by The Circle Jerks (okay, it’s an album title)
“We’ve Got A Bigger Problem Now” by Dead Kennedys

Christ, do I ever feel dated now.

“I Can’t Stand the Rain”–Ann Peebles

Rusty Bedsprings

by I. P. Bynite

“Wake me up before you go-go” Wham.

Well, I guess that’d be for Brad’s S.O.. 🙂

“Here Comes the Rain Again” – Eurhythmics

Anything by Master P.