Too Bad So Sad?

Doughy Pantload’s disappointment that a bomb didn’t go off is palpable.

Dogs That Don’t Bark [Jonah Goldberg]

One of the most fascinating things about the course of human affairs, I think, is the enormous difference in potential directions life can take depending on discrete moments (which is why I do believe in the Great Man theory of history, btw). If that bomb had gone off in London, killing dozens or hundreds, British life might have moved in a remarkably different direction (though the Brits are pretty good — or bad, if you know what I mean — at shrugging off these sorts of things).

(My emphasis.)

His first parenthetical aside sets up what comes up next, which is basically a retard huffing air duster’s version of A.J.P. Taylor’s “accident” theory of history:

Or look at it this way: Imagine if the 9/11 plot had been foiled through some random border guard’s good fortune or diligence? How different would the last six years look? The Millennium bombing was prevented by a stroke of good luck (though the Clinton crowd crows about it). If that attack had succeeded, one can imagine that 9/11 might have been prevented, thanks to the heightened scrutiny that would have ensued. And, for all we know, Gore might have been elected president. When you start thinking about it, the wheels of history can get jammed by the smallest things, a parking ticket, a missed bus, a forgotten wallet.

Blah blah blah. But now to the punchline. It’s incoherent, like the rest of the post, but one can’t miss what he means:

Anyway, the irony is that from a policy standpoint, it seems to me that security officials have to view things like the failed London bombing as basically no different than a successful bombing. But because the bombing failed, the policy options to security officials are far narrower precisely because the bombing failed and therefore didn’t rouse the sort of political reaction it might otherwise have.

My translation from the Pantloadese: British policy should proceed as if the bomb went off, and by “proceed” he means in a Bush/Cheney/Yoo/Gonzo sort of wingnut police-state way. But, alas, because the bomb didn’t go off and panic did not ensue, the British government can’t get as fascist as it ought, which is just too bad.

Bradrocket adds: This is the same DoughBob who recently said that he had became “much more of a libertarian” because he wrote a book about how LIEberals were all Nazis. Cognitive dissonance is an ugly, ugly thing, children…

 

Comments: 37

 
 
 

“And, for all we know, Gore might have been elected president.”

Horrors. The we wouldn’t have had 9/11, a codpiece or neocons.

 
 

In Jonah’s defense, he thought “V for Vendetta” was about a utopian fantasy world under attack from fascist commie liberal terrorists.

 
 

Or look at it this way: Imagine if the 9/11 plot had been foiled through some random border guard’s good fortune or diligence?

What a scumbag. Like it would have taken a stroke of luck, rather than the gov’t being remotely competent, to have prevented 9/11.

Indeed, 9/11’s success was the first Real Big Sign that Bushco can’t tie their fucking shoes. So the whole country ran to the guy who failed them in the first place to save them.

I’m more and more in the “people are stupid” camp.

 
General Woundwort
 

The man makes his living writing this shite. I keep thinking I should start a blog and get me some of that sweet wingnut welfare. I can certainly do better than the Pantload, and it shouldn’t take more than an hour a day.

Make a comfortable living, get a book deal, crank out some screed about how the Democrats are all Gay Nazi Mexican Islamists, and retire on the royalties.

If only I was completely lacking in morals and ethics……..

 
 

bu but but I though jonah was a libertarian now!

 
 

The same people who believed that Liberals were HOPING that the Iraq war would go badly (those troop-hating liberals!), are now HOPING that the terrorists succeed (when it’s convenient for them, naturally). Jonah gets paid for this shit…The Free Market of Ideas can go fuck itsself.

 
 

Imagine if an attack from hostile space aliens could be thwarted with a simple Mac-generated computer virus! Imagine if Lord Voldemort could be stopped with your standard Expelliarmus charm!

Imagine if Jonah had one of those cool Voltron robot-cars! Imagine if a runaway planet swept between the earth and the moon, shattering both the moon and human civilization, and creating a world in which wizards, magic, and moks like Ookla run wild with their fabulous Sun Swords!

Imagine a universe in which Jonah is not a fucking mentally inept anal diverticulum. If you can, that is….I don’t think my imagination is that good.

 
 

The Millennium bombing was prevented by a stroke of good luck (though the Clinton crowd crows about it). If that attack had succeeded, one can imagine that 9/11 might have been prevented, thanks to the heightened scrutiny that would have ensued.

I KNEW 9/11 was Clinton’s fault! By foiling the Millennium bombing, he placed America’s neck under the Islamofascist boot! It all fits!

Why does Jonah get paid for this, again?

 
 

It’s the Moscow theory; if Russian FSB agents hadn’t blown the building in Moscow then Russia wouldn’t have been mobilized behind the second Chechen War which would be too bad given their enormous success there, right? Right.

I subscribe to the non-catastrophic version. It’s the kind that goes along the lines of “if people didn’t vote a moron and his power-grabbing bosses into office, we wouldn’t have most of the problems we do at the moment.” But hey, that’s just me.

Here’s to a late Oct 2008 terrorist attack so we can vote in another security mom friendly prez!

 
 

so if the UK has policies in place that prevent a terrorist attack, then they need to pretend they failed to prevent it, so as to change their policies to prevent an attack, which they already did?

 
 

Imagine a universe in which Jonah is not a fucking mentally inept anal diverticulum

Jillian, you had me right up until this one. I was even prepared to imagine a world where successfully rolling an 18 or better would render you safe from poisoning. Sadly, it was not to be.

In the end, the only way these people can ever feel okay about themselves is if everyone else in the world is as pissing pants scared as they are. It’s really kind of sad and pathetic and not funny when you dwell on it.

Can we go back to making fun of Debbie’s haircut? Or maybe mentioning/impersonating Ann Althouse enough to get her to respond that she’s ignoring us? Ah, good times.

 
Arturo Toscaninny
 

Imagine, if only Jonah’s dam, Lucianne the Demogorgon, had not knocked knees with Beelzebub in a trash-strewn back alley off Dupont Circle, we’d have been spared all this cerebral flatulence.

 
 

I’ve never subscribed to the theory that the 9/11 attack would have been inevitably foiled if Gore/Lieberman had won. The planning for the attack was well underway before the results of the 2000 election were known, they wouldn’t have had any idea who was going to be president, and they couldn’t have predicted that an incompetent moron would be elected. They expected to get away with it no matter who occupied the White House.

Moreover, they had four teams, for redundancy. One of the attacks — as you may recall — did fail. Its failure still killed a lot of people, but the intention was likely to kill even more. Unless all four groups had been found before the plot was hatched, there would still have been an attack on something.

Even in a perfect world where all of the hijackers were picked up by authorities, the spectre of what could have taken place would be there. The exposure of the plot alone would have generated terror. We probably would still have gotten color-coded threat alerts. People would still be searched for box-cutters.

 
 

if only Jonah’s dam, Lucianne the Demogorgon, had not knocked knees with Beelzebub

Come on. The spawn of Beelzebub would be impressive.

 
 

Actually, Thundarr had the Sun sword.

Poor Jonah, don’t you know? The harder you grip, the more will slip through your fingers?

The Horror! The Horror!

Uhm,…

 
Arturo Toscaninny
 

“Come on. The spawn of Beelzebub would be impressive.”

A goat-legged, junior sub-sub assistant imp, then.

 
 

D’oh! The horrors of a misplaced modifier….my English teacher mother would be most disappointed in me.

I’m watching Thundarr on Youtube right now….it’s like a conservative’s wet dream, isn’t it? The whole world’s territorial, and all disputes are settled with weapons.

 
a different brad
 

Off topic-
Had a date last night. Was going quite well till she responded to me mentioning an interest in ancient Greece by saying “that’s where the patriarchy started!”
Within about 20 minutes she was telling me how I don’t really know who I am, because my disagreement that all history is patriarchal injustice shows that I’m unconsciously part of the patriarchy.
Argh.
I ain’t perfect, I don’t pretend to be, and I don’t think recognizing my flaws makes them ok. But this was like arguing with a born-again Christian. No matter what I said, I’m simply in denial. It’s not possible for me to genuinely understand, because if I did I’d obviously be in total agreement.
Insert Jillian’s wiser words than I can manage about identity politics *here*.
Dear blamers; I’ve got a lot to learn. I consider myself lucky that I can even begin to recognize that. But so do you.
Gripe ended.

 
 

A different brad…you should have said, no, you meant ancient GREASE.

And then asked her if she wanted to see your urn collection.

 
 

The interpretation is precisely correct. The size of the Police State made a lot of progress this weekend here in New York.

 
 

Just imagine how the course of human history would change if this fat-assed chickenhawk creep, Jonah “Doughy Pantload” Goldberg, skipped one trip to the “all you can eat” dinner buffet at the Country Kitchen. Why, we might be able to feed a starving child or two in Darfur!

 
 

Imagine a world where Gore became President and 9/11 was avoided by dumb luck. We would all be sitting ducks for a terrorist attack on the scale of 9/11. Gosh, it makes you realize how easily history could have been so completely different and how much better off Britain would be if they could only experience another big, successful terrorist attack.

 
 

I’ve never subscribed to the theory that the 9/11 attack would have been inevitably foiled if Gore/Lieberman had won.

Obviously, no one can say with certainty what might’ve happened. I have to believe, though, that a President Gore wouldn’t have dismissed Richard Clarke’s dire warnings as hype, nor do I think he would have told briefers with credible suspicions of a specific plot to “go on home, you covered your ass” while doing exactly nothing.

 
 

darrelplant is right. And it points up three lessons that I’m not at all certain have been learned by any of the ’08 presidential candidates, from either party.

Lesson 1. Some terror attacks will always succeed. It’s the nature of asymmetrical warfare. Just as a determined assassin will always succeed if getting away with it is not a requirement.

Lesson 2. The only effective way to try to prevent terror attacks is through intelligence and law enforcement. By their very nature, they function like criminal enterprises, and they leave a trail that looks criminal in nature. Which leads us to the most important

Lesson 3. Trying to counter well funded trans national guerrilla fighters using 21st century technology to wage low level asymmetrical warfare against you with an army, navy and air force designed from the ground up to destroy other armies and capture territory is not only just useless, but due to the horrendous loss of life and destruction that must result, it’s very counterproductive…

mikey

BTW, I dunno how you guys got all these comments in – I haven’t been able to get Sadly, No to come up all day…

 
 

History-as-alternate-history-fiction, it is…

“One of the most fascinating things about the course of human affairs, I think…” – When you begin so portentiously, Mr. Donuts, my nutsack tightens in sheer animal apprehension…

Fat rich American white boys bewail the fact that shit isn’t fucked up enough: “I will show you fear in a handful of dust blablabla Diet Coke Krispy Kreme blabla”

 
 

Thanks to the Glasgow incident, we can no longer park & wait for a passenfer outside the Reno airport. Oh noooo, I’ll have to sit in a specially designated “cell-phone parking lot” and wait till said passenger calls to tell me he’s there. AFTER getting his baggage. Jeez.

 
 

Thanks to the Glasgow incident, we can no longer park & wait for a passenger outside the Reno airport terminal. Oh noooo, I’ll have to sit in a specially designated “cell-phone parking lot” and wait till said passenger calls to tell me he’s there. AFTER getting his baggage. Jeez.

 
 

Thanks to the Glasgow incident, we can no longer park & wait for a passenger outside the Reno airport terminal. Oh noooo, I’ll have to sit in a specially designated “cell-phone parking lot” and wait till said passenger calls to tell me he’s there. AFTER getting his baggage. Jeez.

Now what they’re going to do about the Drop-Offs at the terminal, I don’t know. Wasn’t it a “Drop-off point where the Glasgow bomber crashed?

 
 

Imagine if the 9/11 plot had been foiled through some random border guard’s good fortune or diligence? How different would the last six years look?

We would have impeached that asshat 3 years ago. And Bush too.

 
 

Yikes! sorry about the multiple posts. I blame Clinton.

 
 

[…] They have nothing but lies and fear to protect their cruelty and wealth. Other rightists are disappointed the eejits failed to kill anyone thus heralding a police state (which is their wet dream) and more […]

 
 

Imagine if London public transportation had been bombed, leading to short-term panic of the sort which caused an over-anxious and bigoted cop to shoot a dark-skinned guy to death for wearing a coat and running to catch a train.

Imagine if Brits had, for decades, been bombed by a terrorist organization who even managed to kill a cousin of the Queen.

Surely then Alan Moore’s utopian vision could have been achieved and Jonah’s scary world full of terrorists would have been averted.

Talk about bed-wetting!

 
 

Thanks to the Glasgow incident, we can no longer park & wait for a passenger outside the Reno airport terminal. Oh noooo, I’ll have to sit in a specially designated “cell-phone parking lot” and wait till said passenger calls to tell me he’s there. AFTER getting his baggage. Jeez.

I’m not buying the jidadi angle on the Glasgow bombing. Anyone who has ever flown from that airport knows it was only a matter of time before someone lost it over the parking.

 
 

jihadi,

…….need preview button (and a spellchecker, if you don’t mind)…….

 
 

Let us take this young man at face value and apply his logic.

Let us cut off all aid to Israel and equip the Palestinians with American weaponry and train them in its use, because Israel has a nuclear arsenal and might use it to start a nuclear war.

Let us impeach George W. Bush because his illegal domestic spying activities might be extended to all of Bush’s rivals, or to all non-Republicans ….

 
"Oh Stewardess, I Speak 'Nut"
 

If the recent attack(s) had succeeded, then Faux/CNN/MSNBC would’ve shown the same clips over and over again for several days with silly captions like SEASON OF TERROR!

Oh, wait.

 
 

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