Ooh Baby, Baby, It’s A Wild World
Somebody must’ve told Kathleen Parker about YouTube:
The Internet recently has introduced the world to two memorable individuals — mostly recognizable by their mouths — who vividly illustrate the striking cultural difference between East and West.
She’s referring to this guy and this guy.
They are beauty and the beast — one a testament to civilization and hope, the other a monument to primitivism and despair. One is driven by a search for the sublime, the other by … what? Bitterness? Resentment? Retribution for perceived insults to an ideology, a system of spiritual beliefs?
Yikes, sounds like she’s just charted the trajectory of a Townhall comments thread.
Meanwhile, over yonder in Merry Olde England, where grand traditions of civility and decency are daily being eroded by resident, hate-spewing Muslim clerics, a plump boy with bad teeth got teased growing up and turned his inner rage toward something outside himself. He sang.
Her conclusion is a bit grandiose and ambitious (“there may be something about Western Civilization — the Renaissance, the Reformation, the Enlightenment, to mention a few highlights — that makes [Paul] Potts a possibility”), but I believe she may stumbled over some simple truth.
Or, in the words of one famous British tunesmith: “Well, if you want to sing out, sing out, and if you want to be free, be free, ’cause theres a million things to be. You know that there are.”
Gavin adds: There may, as well, be something about Western Civilization — the Renaissance, the Reformation, the Enlightenment, to mention a few highlights — that makes this a possibility:
D. Aristophanes adds: Also, this is totally NOT driven by a search for the sublime. And it’s got nothing to do with a plump boy with bad teeth. Nope, not at all.
What is it with this broad spectrum neo-con obsession with “Islamic Rage Boy”?
…
So, in her grandiose and ambitious ode, she both insults her idealized Westerner and her demonized Other. Seriously, why bring bad teeth into it?
Is she just stupid, or did she forget which team she was playing for mid-sentence?
But if you wanna leave take good care,
hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
but then a lot of nice things turn bad out there.
Someone forgot to tell her about the German video game kid.
Oh crap. W0rdDepress, damn you!
[i]Meanwhile, over yonder in Merry Olde England, where grand traditions of civility and decency are daily being eroded by resident, hate-spewing Muslim clerics,[/i]
Oi! Kathy! I’ll ‘ve yah know tha’ us Brits dun need no ruddy Muslims to piss up dis ‘Civility and decency’ lark.
Ruddy Foreners, tink they no everytink.
Merry Olde England, where grand traditions of civility and decency — Gak splutter shklorrtz.
Whereof one cannot speak, one is reduced to making Don Martin sound effects.
I prefer these sublime lyrics from a different civil and decent British songsmith:
“Finished with my woman ’cause she couldn’t help me with my mind…”
I think there’s something in that for all of us.
(apologies for the rather crass attempt at an accent there ol’ chaps. I found it jolly tough to get my point across without it, wot?)
And another boy took his rage against his cold and unloving father and used it to invade two countries. Go West!
Oh, fer crissakes. Is this it? Is this how we’re going to chose to define ourselves? Choose up sides and smell armpits?
Listen to me. Please. These are individuals. They have skills, passions, and beliefs that drive them to do what they do. They do not “represent” us. They only represent them. If you have a passion, then by all means follow it. It may well lead to wealth, success or fifteen minutes of ill-gotten fame. But it means nothing. It is not a political movement. You cannot define society, the advancement or decline of same, based on the actions of individuals doing what they want to do.
Meaningless, and sad. Vote us all of this island, PLEASE. ‘Cause there’s nothing here that MEANS anything. If you, YOU have anything to contribute to the discussion, please, by all means, do. But if you want to tell us how this dood or that clown with a youtube video or a tv show is somehow representative of what we are, what we have become or what we might someday be? That’s fuckin crazy, and it’s time for me to leave this place…
mikey
Kathleen Parker: “I just want to SING!”
Us: “Stop it! Stop it! No singing!”
And another boy took his rage against his cold and unloving father and used it to invade two countries. Go West!
I thought it was his Mom.
Seriously, why bring bad teeth into it?
Because if you are an America-Firster like Parker, it is mandatory that any mention of a not-American (even an ally!) must be paired with a stereotyped insult. If she says anything about the UK, she must reference either “bad teeth” or “crappy food”. If she mentions Australians, she must reference either Steve Irwin or Paul Hogan. Were she to neglect the Mandatory Foreigner Funny, she would be accused by her readers of insufficient patriotism. Remember, these are people who want the entire universe divided up, color-coded, flagged with simple yes-or-no icons, and sanitized for their protection.
Kathleen deserves this.
Happy Canada Day this weekend. Time for a YouTube war.
“Meanwhile, over yonder in Merry Olde England, where grand traditions of civility and decency are daily being eroded by resident, hate-spewing Muslim clerics,”
Yeah. No hate-spewing religious fundamentalist nuts in America.
Which side of good and evil are the skateboarding bulldog and piano-playing cat on?
Which side of good and evil are the skateboarding bulldog and piano-playing cat on?
Depends. Are you a cat person or a dog person?
Oh, there goes that subjective morality again.
Me, I’m a cat person. So Piano Feline wins bias points in my book.
However, both are animals trying to do people things. Doesn’t that make them, like… sins against god, or something? For defiling the natural order of the universe? Which should require both sides to hate them equally, right?
This may be a debate larger then for us mere mortals to understand.
Oh, and for those who care, tonight’s Bacardi experiment shall be rum and Coke, and a rum and Sprite. I’m more exciting about the later, but we’ll see.
Now you’ve done it. I’m experiencing a raging desire to watch Harold and Maude while listening to the Dead Kennedys. Meh. Could be worse. The liquor cabinet’s full, and nobody can force me to read Kathleen Parker.
Dood. Put a squeeze of lime in your rum and seven (ok, sprite, whatever) and you have a “San Diego”. Straight up gonzo gangster cocktail outta the good old days. Hoist a couple for me!
mikey
Oh, and for those who care, tonight’s Bacardi experiment shall be rum and Coke, and a rum and Sprite. I’m more exciting about the later, but we’ll see.
My two favorite rum concoctions:
1) “Butt Pirate”: 1 part butterscotch schnapps, 1 part rum (originally Capt. Morgan’s spiced rum, hence the “pirate” name). Good chilled, warm, or hot–how many drinks can make that claim?
2) “Midnight at Elbe Trail”: 4 parts chocolate shake (any will do, but on the Trail, it’s Jack in the Box), 1 part rum
Of course, the low-carb option is Diet Dr. Pepper and Bacardi Limon (or straight Bacardi with a twist of lemon). The Bacardi covers up the artificial sweetener pretty nicely.
Her conclusion is a bit grandiose and ambitious
Yes, because the Arabic/Islamic world didn’t give us anything like say… preserving the intellectual heritage of Ancient Greece during the Middle Ages when all the stupid Christian monks wanted to do was to scratch out the writings of Pythagoras and pen their insipid homilies.
BTW, I have a lot of respect for http://www.drinksmixer.com, both as a bartending resource and a database application. This website lets you search by drink type, keywords, ingredients, alcohol content, carb count–even by glassware used. Pretty impressive.
They have over 35 Bacardi-branded drinks, and hundreds of straight up “rum” drinks.
(Flying blind with 2 links and no preview button. Wheeee!)
Not a big Bacardi fan. Gosling’s Black Seal, on the other hand ….
Oh, back in the day when we’d drink rum n’ cokes made from 151 bacardi and Jolt cola…..
I thought good Christians loved their fellow man regardless of physical flaws. Guess Kathleen forgot that part, what with all the bad teeth flashing hither and yon.
Good suggestions. Unfortunately, my shoe string budget prevents me from doing anything really fancy. I’ll definatly use the lime/lemon slices next time, though. Bacardi has a very strong taste to it that didn’t really mingle so well with the straight soda, coke or sprite. I’ve seen a few suggestions of Captain Morgans, might try that next time.
The fun thing about the rum/whathaveyou was that, while sipping on them, flipping between Ace Combat 5 and Law and Order (great show, really depressing) I didn’t really feel anything until I got up to get the Dublin Mudslide ice cream. Heh, balance and focus goes wooshy giggle.
I’m thinking mojitos on Sunday. Ass load of sugar, ass load of mint… and there’s some rum and lime in there… somewhere… Should be fun!
Merry Olde England, where grand traditions of civility and decency
Merry Olde England indeed, which brought the world such gems as Pretty Vacant (you have to hear it sung to get the intended effect) and God Save The Queen (“she ain’t no human being”).
Ah, civility and decency. What ho, chaps?
Wait, Paul Potts? What the holy fuck? She wrote a fucking column about Paul Potts?
Yes, let’s discuss Ye Olde Sensse of Decensie
“Merry Olde England, where grand traditions of civility and decency”
Who wrote this, Mary Poppins?
I prefer this civil & decent lyric from Merry Olde England-Change my pitch up, smack my bitch up.
Change my pitch up, smack my bitch up.
Cheers.
Gosling’s Black Seal, on the other hand ….
Yay! Dark ‘n’ Stormies (Black Seal and ginger beer) all round!
I should warn you in advance that this drink once caused me to get stuck in a lounge chair at a beach party.
Yes, there are photos. No, you can’t see them.
PS I base all my political and esthetic choices on the ravings of a right-wing cultural illiterate who is Teh Stupidest Woman in America until Mona Charen ‘writes’ another column.
Kathleen, if you’re going to add an “e” to “old”, you need to change “merry” to “merrie”. A little consistency, please.
Your column would still be crappy, though.
no, davis, it would be “crappie”. 🙂