Fire Fred Hiatt

Shorter Richard Cohen

  • Sure, the Republicans have completely ruined everything over the past seven years, but their penises are still larger than the Democrats’, and they’ll keep winning forever unless the Dems nominate Joe “Hung Like a Sperm Whale” Lieberman for president.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.


Comments: 33


WRT the landslide re-election of Nixon. Does Mr. Cohen forget the “secret plan” to get us out of VN? War weary Americans bought that from a man whom they saw to be in a position to execute such a plan (not that one existed beyond getting us into Cambodia, which, technically, wasn’t Viet Nam.)



Speaking of WaPo:
Liked the Sadly Review, too.



“Remember, Republicans LIE at the drop of a hat so there is no reason to expect they won’t come up with yet another line of bullshit they can sell to cover for their failures. It will certainly involve blaming “liberals” and Bill Clinton and it will be dutifully transcribed by their corporation owned editors and publishers.”


ifthethunderdontgetya wrote:
If Richard Cohen aka Mr. Therapeutic Violence had read some history and actually understood it, he would have known that Iraq would turn out to be Vietnam in the sand.

Instead, he was dead wrong, and rather than face up to his error, he is reduced to fulminating against ‘the anti-war left’. Aka 70% of the country at this point.
6/26/2007 7:55:02 AM


Brad, I think you’ve got a picture of the wrong Richard Cohen up there. I think this guy writes for the National Journal. The Richard Cohen that we usually make fun of has a goofier haircut and little Harold Lloyd glasses. This guy looks almost normal. Here’s the guy you want:


Well, to be fair to the Cohen of Silence, if you totally ignore the facts that Vietnam was started by a Democrat, was escalated and turned publicly unpopular under the next Democrat, was largely responsible handing the White House to a Republican who claimed to have a secret plan to bug the fuck out; that Iraq was started by a Republican, escalated and became unpopular under the same Republican, that every Democrat running for president is claiming to have a plan to bug the fuck out, and that every Republican above the level of dog catcher says that if Bush doesn’t find his pony by November they are likely to lose the job they barely kept in 06… then, yeah, his is a brilliant analysis.


Hey, Dick? You don’t mind if I call you Dick, do you, Dick?

News flash for you, Dick: You’re an idiot.

And Hiatt must love him some cocktail-weenie suckin’ to keep kissin’ up to the outgoing assholes of the Foggy Bottom cocktail-weenie-suckin’ circuit. Prick.


You know what really helped get Nixon elected? Robert F. Kennedy getting shot. As others have said, had RFK walked out of that ballroom, Nixon would never have been President.

So f*** all these a**holes who see Nixon’s victory as some sort of inevitable magic outcome of America’s Love For Republicans.


Does anyone else notice a sentence missing from the end of the first paragraph?
“In the second place, back then the Vietnam War was not as unpopular as you might think — or, for that matter, as the Iraq war is now. In 1972, almost 60 percent of Americans approved of the way Nixon was handling the war.”
A logical writer would then say, “By comparison, in 2007, x percent of Americans support Bush’s handling of the war.” Except that x = 23 percent, which would mean that Richard has to rewrite the whole column. We can’t have that- inconvenient facts leave less time for cocktail weenies!


Let’s appoint that Scooter fella. He seems on the ball

(/richard cohen)


so right, el cid, it’s the “norwood” fallacy writ large (that is, if scott norwood makes his kick to win the super bowl against the giants, it is a triumph for a passing open offense, but instead he misses the kick and therefore “smash-mouth” football giants style is given all the credit). it is the job of a certain class of democratic analyst (your edsalls, your lakoffs) to make some sweeping point about whatever your particular hammer sees as nail-like.

having said that, this must be the greatest quote of our generation:

As recently as January 2000, the Post and Courier reported in an article headlined “Ravenel stepped outside ‘civility,'” that Ravenel called the NAACP the “National Association For Retarded People.”

When asked about the comment in the story, Ravenel said that he misspoke. “It was a slip of the tongue. I have never said the NAACP was retarded,” he told the Post and Courier. “I made a rhetorical slip, and they want to lynch me for it.”

yes, old rich white man in South carolina, your racist insult of black people, and the response thereto, most definitely constitute a lynching. really, they do. i mean, not in the “hanging from a tree because of your skin color” sense, more of a “i’m a vile piece of shit and there are no consequences to my behavior” sense.


The thing that got me about this column (and that I guest-posted about at Roger Ailes’ place) is that he says 2008 is just like 1972, then notes as an aside that every significant detail is completely different.


Wait just a darn minute.

First Cohen says, “look at history.” Then, by way of illustration, he cites the Viet Nam war, which was MORE popular than the Iraq war, and Nixon, who was a) the incumbent, and b) not as unpopular as Bush.

Then he adds these up and they = the Dems have a problem.

In other words, the precedents don’t apply, but let’s use the conclusion anyway.

What do I win?

I see Tom Hilton just said the same thing. Okay, we’ll share the prize.


Hey, I’m not sure I’m buying the premise that vietnam was “more popular” than Iraq. I don’t remember ANYBODY being for continued american combat ops in vietnam by the end of 1970. And quite unlike today, it was not taboo to talk about all the available options, including the ongoing Paris talks, “Vietnamization”, a major ongoing troop drawdown. There was NO discussion of anything like a “surge”. People had different opinions, sure, but the differences were all in the way to end it, not in the way of stay forever/withdraw in the next hour and a half.

The thing thats becoming clear to me is the artificial limits that america has imposed on the conversation. We can’t even TALK about all of the most important parts of the policy. And responsibility for that sits squarely on the press. The moment they say it’s ok to have the discussion, we’ll be able to talk about real solutions, not buzzphrases and soundbytes that are meaningless cover to maintain the status quo…



Whenever I want to be macho, I put on my wide-collared Rayon™ shirt and leave it unbuttoned low enough to fully display my manly chest hair (tha’t plural, damnit!) and 14k gold (plated) medallion. Not a Muslim in the world can laugh at me, then.


I thought Joe Lieberman was hung like a baby carrot.
If Joe’s hung like a “sperm whale”, how did the Mohel perform the
I imagine even an infant sperm whale has an enormous slong as the full grown sperm whale has a nine footer1!!1


Wow! Who’da ever thunk I’d have so much in common with our friends of the deep, the sperm whale…



Congratualtions! But I havegot to ask to ask: doesn’t walking around with a mobile hoist all the time cramp your style? Doorways and the like have got to be a bitch.


I love it when I am interupped typing a comment. It always turns out so well so well.


Not nearly as big a problem as the blowhole. That sumbitch gets me thrown out of more resaurants, lemme tellya…



I’m assuming here that you have the single blowhole of out toothed seabound cousins and not the gauche dual blowholes of our filter feeding marine relations. ‘Cause I have always thought:
“that mikey, I bet he eats meat”


so my first reaction is “ha ha he said ‘blowhole’!”. I am 12 years old.


It has always been a curiosity to me that it’s called a “glory hole”, and not the obvious and tee-hee-worthy “blowhole”.


I think it’s because of the wacked-out dude on the other side with a big old barbeque fork gonna get the glory…


Herr Doktor Bimler

I’ve never trusted sperm whales since the time one ran me down at a pedestrian crossing. The police wouldn’t press charges — they said it was a “fluke accident”.


Oh, c’mon, Herr Doktor, quit blubbering…



Man i wish he and Droopy Dog would just make aliyah already.


It’s really simple. If you are too pussy to drop lots of bombs on brown children and say the little fuckers deserved it, then be a Democratic loooser.

Herr Doktor Bimler

he reinforces the idea that the only way to be macho is to do something stupid over and over and over again.

You mean there is some way to be macho that does not involve doing something stupid over and over? I for one would be grateful if Brad explained the full details; it might save me a small fortune in lightbulbs.


Fred Hiatt took one of the country’s better newspapers and totally fucking ruined it. Screw Cohen – look at the other idiots Hiatt finds fit to print. The man is a disgrace.


Uhh, isn’t the better analogy 1976 rather than 1972?



1441 Main Street, Suite 500 * Columbia, SC 29201 * (803) 929-3000*

June 19, 2007

(803) 929-3000


Columbia, South Carolina —- United States Attorney REGINALD I. LLOYD stated today that South Carolina State Treasurer THOMAS RAVENEL, age 44, of Charleston, along with another man, MICHAEL L. MILLER, age 25, of Mt. Pleasant, were charged in one-count Indictment this afternoon with conspiracy to possess cocaine with intent to distribute.

The Indictment reads as follows:


That beginning at a time unknown to the grand jury, but beginning at least in or around late 2005, and continuing thereafter, up to and including the date of this Indictment, in the District of South Carolina, the defendants, THOMAS RAVENEL and MICHAEL L. MILLER, knowingly and intentionally did combine, conspire and agree together and have tacit understanding with each other and others, both known and unknown to the grand jury, to knowingly, intentionally and unlawfully possess with intent to distribute and to distribute a quantity of cocaine, a Schedule II controlled substance in violation of Title 21, United States Code, Sections 841(a)(1) and 841(b)(1)(C);

All in violation of Title 21, United States Code, Section 846.

Mr. Lloyd stated the maximum penalty RAVENEL and MILLER could receive is a fine of $1,000,000.00 and/or imprisonment of 20 years.

Mr. Lloyd stated that the case was investigated by agents of the FBI and SLED, and that he has assigned the case to Assistant United States Attorney William Witherspoon of the Columbia office for prosecution.

Mr. Lloyd stated that all charges in this Indictment are merely accusations and that all defendants are presumed innocent until and unless proven guilty. The Indictment reads as follows:

You can try to sugar coat an indictment if you want to, but “cocaine distribution” IS “Cocaine Distribution” IT IS WHAT IT IS!

Finrod Felagund

I think the popularity of both Bush and Nixon don’t necessarily affect the president’s capability to be re-elected. Bush was the most unpopular president in the history of presidents at the end of his first term, but voila, he was given a second chance. It’s the same with Democrats. You just have to look at the facts like they were. religious ebooks. Complicated to understand, but very available.


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