ZOMG!!!
Best. Blogs4Brownback. Post. EVAR!!!1!!
As usual, when scientists tell you something, you can usually find the truth if you look in the opposite direction. What scientists label “positive”, the protons, actually- by their own theories- huddle in the center of the atom, slothful and lazy, sheltering the morally timid neutrons. The ones who go about, energizing things and spreading the Gospel, are the electrons. This leads me to believe that electrons are actually the positive moral force here, not the lazy, good-for-nothing neutrons and certainly not the vile, wicked, electron-counteracting, equivocation-enabling protons.
Electrons are the positive force in the atomic world. They are God’s servants. What, then, could they be, if not angels? Doesn’t this explain how the Lord is at work in every piece of technology we currently operate? Electrons power them all; ergo, the Lord, through the direct intercession of His servants, the angels, powers it all. It also explains smiting; thousands of angels come down from the Heavens and enter the skulls of the evildoers.
Bradrocket adds: I’m fairly certain Blogs4Brownback is parody at this point. Sadly, his basic premise about science isn’t too different from what Jeff Jacoby wrote in yesterday’s Globe:
To judge from the criticism of Bush’s stem cell veto last week, nothing outranks the claims of science, and only a zealot could think otherwise.
“With one pen stroke,” charged Governor Bill Richardson of New Mexico, “President Bush has ignored hard science, embraced misplaced ideology, and turned his back on the millions who stand to benefit from . . . stem cell research.”
Similarly, Senate majority leader Harry Reid blasted Bush for “putting the politics of his narrow ideology ahead of saving lives.”
So did Senator Hillary Clinton: “This is just one example of how the president puts ideology before science.”
And Senator Barack Obama: “The promise that stem cells hold does not come from any particular ideology; it is the judgment of science, and we deserve a president who will put that judgment first.”
What these statements have in common is their use of “ideology” as a pejorative for the principles and ethical values that have guided Bush’s thinking on the stem cell issue. They treat “science” as an unqualified good, and reproach the White House for letting ethical qualms impede scientific progress.
Bush’s veto has nothing to do about ethical qualms. Do you think he lays awake at night fretting over the fate of the defenseless embryonic stem cells? Haaaaail no. This veto is basically a bone he’s throwing to Crazy Base Land after he recently duked them up der poopenschaft with his immigration bill.
Electrons are the positive force in the atomic world.
The protons are going to might pissed off when they hear this.
Electrons are the positive force in the atomic world.
Teh protons are going to be pissed off when they here about this.
Yeah, and the “morally timid neutrons” are gonna be so mad they’re gonna make up their own bomb.
Wordepress was oppressing me!
As usual, when scientists tell you something, you can usually find the truth if you look in the opposite direction.
Like gravity. This guy lspent months looking in the sky for a pen he dropped. It had sentimental value, when you turned it upside down the picture of Jesus winked.
WTF does this even mean? To reach that far to make a point…oh it’s just way too early for me to deal with this. Damnit HTML.
Agreed on Sysyphus being a parody. (And a fine one at that.)
How about Kevin, the lawnmower man?
Goddamn slothful protons! They’re all going to Hell!
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I think wordepress is objecting to my gratuitous ASCII plumage.
You know, I’m willing to bet you that no matter how insane the parody is, I can still find you actual groups of Christians who believe something even MORE insane.
Like Jack Chick, who believes that Jesus is actually the strong atomic force, and His body can be found in the Gluon.
Top THAT for insanity.
….actually, I can. There’s a guy out there who believes that plate tectonics are the key to proving God’s existence, because the Pacific Plate looks like God’s face, crying over the sins of Hollywood.
I swear to God I am not making that up.
The Editors also got PWNED!1!! by B4Brownback not long ago.
Jon Swift should watch his back. That’s some fine-ass pardoy, there.
Check out: http://www.rationalwiki.com/wiki/Blogs_4_Brownback for a “best of B4B”!
Um, the Editors can suck it. We’ve had a relationship with B4B for a long time now, starting way back with the defecating-on-the-flag scandal. They’ve never pwned us.
Yeah, Bush’s ethical concerns. I liked Gerry Trudeau’s take on that: “it’s the stem cells, Laura. I hear their cries.”
Didn’t Colbert make a joke like this during one of his interviews recently? Positing angels as responsible for gravity?
In that one rare instance, parody actually outpaced reality. But only by a week.
I like the disparaging remark about the use of the word “ideology” to criticize Bush.
Cause, you know, BUSH never stoops to such rhetoric…
reproach the White House for letting ethical qualms impede scientific progress.
WHAT “ethical qualms” would those be, Jeffery?
That we shouldn’t create embryos for the purpose of research? No, can’t be that because this bill ONLY supported using leftover embryos from IVF.
That some non-ethical IVF clinics will purposely create extra embryos to sell them to stem-cell researchers? No, not that either, because the bill specifically requires that no party can receive any type of compensation in exchange for the embryos.
That some IVF clinics will hand over the embryos over the objections of the couple involved? Hm…there was something in there about the couple/IVF clients having to approve of any transfer of embryos….
That some leftover embryos might actually be used to benefit mankind instead of being offered to the fires of Moloch as is proper? Aha!
(Sorry, I’m in a Composition-Teacher-Rant mood today. I am getting so terribly pissed off at people who get paid for writing crap that would fail a pre-college developmental English class.)
The fact that it took a while to figure out B4B was a parody shows how bad things have gotten on the right-wing side.
Random server weirdness —
Text renders correctly when I look at the main page, but when view article permalink pages, apostrophes, quote marks, and possibly some other characters display as little question-mark-in-a-diamond-things (even in the page source). Let’s see if I can paste these things in: ?????
This is with Windows XP and Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.4.
OK, trying to post that comment gave a wordpress error, and the diamond question marks turned into perfectly normal question makrs, but you get the idea.
Oh, and it’s displaying everything correctly now. Huh.
Do wingnuts in any other country think stem-cell research is immoral? I imagine the most conservative mullahs in Iran looking at this issue and saying to themselves “They allow women to walk loudly in public, but they ban using tiny blastocyst that would be thrown out anyway? Great Satan is crazy!”
If electrons are angels, am I going to hell for grounding a circuit?
If Protons are slothful, what is Fermilab doing accelerating them? Are they giving god the finger?
If neutrons are morally timid, what is the status of morality of neutrinos?
Are the guage bosons part of this whole christianity-as-particle-physics thing?
And when the Standard Model is completely validated, will the universe wink out of existence?
Hey, apparently these are important questions…
mikey
You know, I’m willing to bet you that no matter how insane the parody is, I can still find you actual groups of Christians who believe something even MORE insane.
Man, ain’t that the sad, hilarious truth? They’re really going out of their way to outpace satire. Good thing there are sites like Blogs4Brownback out there–those guys are freakin’ fantastic.
If Protons are slothful, what is Fermilab doing accelerating them? Are they giving god the finger?
Please. They’re already giving God the finger by practicing science–the same science that says your grandfather was an ape! By accelerating protons, they’re giving God the finger with both hands.
Mikey: does that makes the Democrats the weak force then?
Hmmm…. I guess that must make the guys at CERN the anti-matter Christ…
Not so fast.
I grew up in Kansas. Remember, this is the place that spawned the Westboro Baptist Church led by Fred Phelps (I went to school with the offspring). What makes you so sure that it is a parody site? If I didn’t know better, I’d think the Phelp’s clan were parody, but… Sadly, No!
The funny thing is these attitudes have driven most sane, rational Kansans fairly far to the left. Funny how that works.
I really don’t think it’s a parody. They do seem to be having a little fun with it, but they come across as true believers to me. Would a parody site, for example, have thought to include the abortion counter on the right-hand side of the page?
It very well may be some conservatives pranking, Steve, but the science posts and overall idiocy make me think it’s complete satire. The little details like the counter just add to the effect. But again, who really knows these days? In a world with Mark Noonan, everything is possible.
Definitely a parody. Would someone that wacked know who Sisyphus was? As for Jacoby, these nuts would rather the enlightenment never happened. Freaks.
In a world with Mark Noonan, everything is possible.
Well, that’s just the thing. If I were to try and write a parody site, it would probably end up sounding a lot like Mark Noonan, or one of these other dead-enders. If I had a thesaurus, I’d probably end up sounding like Josh Trevino or Jeff Goldstein. You literally can’t write parody better than these people do it themselves.
They’re really tipping their hand now. The most recent post at Blogs for Brownback is this one by Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett, who blogs at Baptists for Brownback. Mrs. T.D. Gaines-Crockett also had a guest post at Jesus’ General this weekend.
I’m just sayin’…
Don’t underestimate the product of that ultimate incubator of wingnuttery, the Bible Belt.
If I were to try and write a parody site, it would probably end up sounding a lot like Mark Noonan
Indeed–the first time I encountered a spoof, I didn’t realize he was a spoof for a while because he sounded almost exactly like Noonan. Hell, lots of people think Noonan is a spoof as well, though I am not one of them.
You need to put up the “stoner” picture from lolcats with posts like this one:
“Dude … wait, what?”
Jacoby is a moron, as per usual, but that piece made my skin crawl when I read it. It’s not that we think science necessarily trumps all, it’s that we recognize that these folks don’t really think it’s an ethical issue: if Bush et alia really thought it was akin to murder, they would ban it outright, not allow it but merely cut federal funding.
This is one heaping helping of stupid.