wal-Rus! wal-Rus! wal-Rus! wal-Rus!

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, Ann.

– Dean Vernon Wormer

I can’t believe that woman is a law professor.

“Graah! Zarg! Fleen!”

Read that backwards. It’s totally trippy.

I, uh, I meant to do that.

The Clintons have turned into the Rorschach Blot for the bitter. e.g. this commenter ”
I immediately saw the sexual innuendo of the carrots and onion ring metaphor. Hillary is sending a subliminal message that she has Bill (Depends on what the definition of ‘IS’ is) on a short leash. If elected she will not turn the Lincoln bedroom into a bordello for Cigar Bill and a bunch of horny interns looking to share power and a blue dress.”

Uh, dude, HRC was not sending a subliminal message, you’re projecting, kooky britches.

I wonder if her logic works in reverse, and when she sees a vagina, she thinks of onion rings.

Christ!
now i have this burning sensation whenever i think
i think i caught something from ann’s dirty mind.

Two young lawyers meet, and are nervous about taking the bar. They compare notes.

Lawyer A: My Professor wrote seven briefs to the Supreme Court in wide ranging cases and explained the legal reasoning behind them. I am nervous, but I feel well prepared.

Lawyer B: My law professor didn’t get around to my briefs because she was blogging about a young woman’s tits, vlogging Sanjaya on American Idol, and comparing onion rings to Hillary Clinton’s vagina. She showed up to class smelling of cigarettes and stale Gallo wine.

I am fucking doomed.

Ann: Oh, Clinton’s cock, Clinton’s cock, Clinton’s cock, Clinton’s cock, Clinton’s cock, Clinton’s cock, Clinton’s COCK, Clinton’s cock, Clinton’s cock, Clinton’s cock, Clinton’s cock, Clinton’s cock, Clinton’s cock, Clinton’s cock, Clinton’s cock, Clinton’s cock, CLINTON’S COCK, CLINTON’S COCK, CLINTON’S COCK!!!!1!!

Here’s my favorite:

What are you going to say: “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”? You simply cannot say that when Bill Clinton is in the picture.

Yeah. What a mind.

Paris Hilton is blogging from jail?

She must *really* need attention.

Althouse’s making jokes about people calling her crazy is starting to remind me of an alcoholic I knew in high school. He’d joke about his problem and *poof* he had no problem. If you can laugh about it, you haven’t lost control, right?
I’d say Ann should read Rameau’s Nephew, but I don’t think she’d get it.

Leo Pusateri at Blogs for Bush examines the Clinton video:

Perhaps on a conscious level, the Clintons thought it would merely be fun to do a knock off of what was a much-discussed episode of a popular cable TV show.

But on an unconscious level, I think it possible (nay, probable) that Clinton, Inc., in their decades-long lust for power, actually feels an affinity for and identifies with the Soprano ethos.

Pusateri’s training is in psychology.

I clicked over to and read that entire thread. One commenter was saying that if the Dems dropped all the “plans for raising taxes” and “social spending (healthcare)” they’d win big and stay in power. Is this what a “centrist” or a “sensible liberal” is supposed to believe in? If so, I’m very happy to say that I’m way over on teh Left.

I also learned that there is something called “anti-Althausian literature”. Would this be a bOdy of wOrk?

Brando said,

June 20, 2007 at 21:00

I wonder if her logic works in reverse, and when she sees a vagina, she thinks of onion rings.

Damn you, Brando! Damn you to hell…!

jesus christ, it will take me days to fix that in my head now.

Pusateri’s training is in psychology. All that “training” and he still wets the carpet? What a waste!

You try walking through the mall with a carrot stick in your onion ring and see what kind of reaction you get!

I think we’ve found Ace’s dream girl. Ace has a taste for bacon and Play-Doh. Maybe Althouse will offer him her greasy onion ring. She can eat his carrot stick. Damn, that’s…..not hot. Actually, THAT’S HORRIBLE.

I get the impression that Ann Althouse seems to think that Bill Clinton is some sort of super-sex addicted freak who’s transgressions vastly exceed all other men’s combined. Even were this true, why does Ann think reading sexual innuendo into anything anybody does around Bill Clinton is something a self respecting bystander should do?

Say some person, perhaps even a law professor, knew a married couple that went through the pains of infidelity. Say that person made cracks about such infidelity to his or her friends years after the matter. I think most people would think that person would be a complete and total cobag.

Say some person, perhaps even a law professor, knew a married couple that went through the pains of infidelity. Say that person made cracks about such infidelity to his or her friends years after the matter. I think most people would think that person would be a complete and total cobag.

Hear hear!

Once upon a time an attractive work colleague convinced me to try sushi for lunch. I wasn’t a sushi fan, but she was persuasive.

I tried a wide variety and most of it was decent and pretty normal, frankly. But there was one bit of sushi that looked like a weird bunch of orange gooey bubbles and freaked me out a little. I asked her what it was.

“It’s sea urchin,” she said. “I have a theory about what it tastes like, but you have to try it first, and then I’ll tell you.” Okay, I said.

I wasn’t quite sure how to describe the taste. It was kind of… rubbery, I guess? Offhand, I couldn’t recall ever tasting anything quite like it. “Okay, what the heck do you think that tastes like?” I asked her.

She leaned across the lunch table. In a loud whisper, she proclaimed, “It tastes like pussy!”

A little OT, I guess, but you don’t get many chances to fit a good food/vagina story into ordinary conversation.

One of the commenters on that thread mentioned ol’ Ace. Apparently, according to this Fan o’Ann, Ace is so smart, he’s just baiting all of us moonbats with his conservative “stereotype” parody.

I don’t think Ann and Ace work as a couple, even factoring in the auspicious “A A” initials. (Ann wouldn’t have to change the monograms she’s doubtless got on her towels). After all, they’d have a battle royale for attention. Imagine a co-blog…

I think we’ve found Ace’s dream girl. Ace has a taste for bacon and Play-Doh. Maybe Althouse will offer him her greasy onion ring. She can eat his carrot stick. Damn, that’s…..not hot. Actually, THAT’S HORRIBLE.

If the Catholic Church ever needs help keeping priests celibate, that’s the training program right there.

I wish I had a shower in my cubicle right now, and a full bar of Lava soap.

“Ann wouldn’t have to change the monograms she’s doubtless got on her towels”

But aren’t her towels monogrammed with “I, AA”?

“Lawyer A: My Professor wrote seven briefs to the Supreme Court in wide ranging cases and explained the legal reasoning behind them. I am nervous, but I feel well prepared.

Lawyer B: My law professor didn’t get around to my briefs because she was blogging about a young woman’s tits, vlogging Sanjaya on American Idol, and comparing onion rings to Hillary Clinton’s vagina. She showed up to class smelling of cigarettes and stale Gallo wine.”

I thought Clinton told that MTV audience that he wore boxers, not briefs.

Dear Ann and Ace;
Sometimes you make the joke, and sometimes the joke makes you.
I know you have no idea what that means.
Hence the problem.

I made the mistake of reading that Althouse post. Well, for about three paragraphs. Then I just scrolled down to see how long it was. She wins the award for writing the most shit (and I mean shit) about …. **drum roll** … nothing.

And right-wingers say that our side of Blogistan is verbose….holy shit.

Bill Clinton fucks a lot of chicks and Hillary bust his balls. Haw haw!

See, I read ol’ Pusateri’s drivel first and thought he had done an excellent job encapsuling the utter fucking stupidity that drives the wingnuts’ ClintonPanic!(tm). But then I saw Ann Althouse’s scrawlings and realized that poor Leo is actually chasing Althouse to the bottom of The Great Well of Craziness. Poor guy can’t even win for losing.

I get the impression that Ann Althouse seems to think that Bill Clinton is some sort of super-sex addicted freak who’s transgressions vastly exceed all other men’s combined.

Oh, for Christ’s sake – Bill, just close your eyes and screw her already if it’ll shut her up. I’m sure Hillary will agree that the benefit to humanity as a whole is worth it.

Schlussel went with the nativist angle (ellipses and emphasis hers):

Hillary ended up picking the decidedly dull (no surprise) and cheesy “You and I” by Celine Dion, who is a . . . Canadian. Singing–one of the jobs Americans just won’t do. Oh, and by the way, Hillary announced the song–sort of–in this parody of the Soprano’s finale, in which Chelsea Clinton drives a . . . FOREIGN car (appears to be a Honda). Great move, Hillary.

Who’s next?

Pusateri’s training in psychology has led me to ponder a few ramifications…
In contrast, my training in psychology only led me to conduct sadistic experiments on undergraduate students, involving strobing lights and cockroaches and tape-recorded baby crying.
Unless it was the akvavit and the dried leeches that led me to do that.

I’m no Clinton fan, but I can’t advocate him taking one for the team and sleeping with Althouse. Being in that proximity to her would lead to murder, and imagine the noise from the right if Bill killed someone for real. It’s just not worth it.

Are you sure that was really Schlussel, J-? I thought she only wrote in SCREECHING ALLCAPS.

Almost time for the Beavers/Eaters game in the College World Series, if anyone wants to tune in and crack jokes about the mascots..

Was it any accident that Clinton, Inc., chose to emulate a series about a ruthless mob crime family? …Or was it a not-so-veiled warning to those who would cross them?

If that was the case, why pick onion rings and juke boxes? Why not shoot the ad on a park bench and show Ron Brown’s crashing plane in the background?

Or does whats his name really fear that, if elected, Clinton’s going to start building spec houses with inferior lumber and sell keratase shampoo out of the back of a truck? While forcing the White House chef to serve Lincoln Log sandwiches?

Perhaps in lieu of Clinton taking one for the team, we set up some sort of wingnut sex therapist fund?

Over at BlogsforBush, one commenter has two posts that illustrate the mental acuity of these guys:

You make a good point Mark. The Clintons are the polical mob. They have it all. Polical hitmen, polical money laundering, polical extorsion. They are polical Sopranos. Hillary is Tony and Bill is Carmella.

——————————————————————————–
Simple shithead takes two tries to come up with the A Number One most obvious character analysis of the Sopranos

“Uh…wait a minute, no, Hillary is Livia, un, and uh Bill is Junior. No wait, no I got it, Vince Foster is like Christophuh and Robert Reich is Paulie Walnuts. See, an’ Bill’s trying to punch out Lauren Bacall while his teeth fall out in front of Annette Bening.”

I took a quick spin past the link you offered up above, and I came across this totally awesome paragraph:

Play word games. Make sure every death is presented as “mysterious.” All accidental deaths are to be labelled “suspicious,” even though by definition accidents occur when something unexpected goes wrong. Every self-inflicted death discussed must include the phrase “ruled a suicide” to imply just the opposite. When an autopsy contradicts a “mysterious death” theory, dispute it; when none was performed because none was needed, claim that “no autopsy was allowed.” Make liberal use of words such as ‘allegedly’ and ‘supposedly’ to dismiss facts you can’t contradict with hard evidence.

She crosses the T’s and dots the I’s with this one. Yet more proof (as if any were needed) that Barbara Mikkelson is simply smarter than I am. I’m almost convinced to take off my tinfoil hat.

Dead Man Walking!

Leo, YOU FOOL!

Now you’re gonna have Hillary’s Femaninjettes stalking you until the end of your days…

Oh for fuck’s sake.

If it meant having a President who had a vauge command of the English language, some small return to espoused American values, a Not Insane foreign policy and a return to budget surpluses I’ve have the Clintons back in the White House in a heartbeat. Compared to what we have now even Bill’s term in office doesn’t look so bad, and I wasn’t exactly a Bill Clinton fan at the time.

After all, what are organized crime except unconventional buisnessmen? We’ve GOT corporate lawbreakers in Washington as it is – how would letting the Mob run things be all that worse? At least they’d be honest about it.

And I see Debbie is off her meds again. That’s American health care for you in a nutshell, accent on “nut”. “ZOMFG Chelsea is driving a FURRIN CAR!!11! Look of FEAR! And teh SONG is by a CANADIAN! Them FURRINERS is taking over our COUNTRY I tells ya!”

“what IS organized crime”?

Is “organized crime” a mass noun?

It’s been a long day, I tells ya.

We’ve GOT corporate lawbreakers in Washington as it is – how would letting the Mob run things be all that worse? At least they’d be honest about it.

And competent. Unlike the Bushies.

“My training in psychology has led me to ponder a few ramifications of Clinton’s choice for her little ‘08 debutante preview.”

Hey, I took a few psych courses in College, too.

Here’s MY analysis: People like pop culture references to things they like.

Remember that scene in Happy Gilmore where he gets his ass kicked by Bob barker? Of course you do. Everyone remembers that scene.

This is the same thing.

If someone watching that ad is getting the primary message of “Don’t cross us, we’re the Mafia” – that person has to be certifiably insane.

So- suppose the Clinton’s ad was a take-off on Battlestar Galactica?

GOLDEN ONION WIENER IN THE HIZZOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!

Apropos of nothing, I’m sure you’ll want to mock Althouse when she takes up the Mostly Harmless challenge to take your blog to the course during U.S. Women’s Open week, as I’m certain she will. For no good reason.

Onion rings + organised crime? I was involved in an onion ring for a while, though eventually we reformed and took up honest jobs — once we realised that we had over-estimated the money to made by smuggling leeks and shallots across international borders.

Is it any surprise that a person who drunkenly vblogs herself watching shitty teevee, writes gossipy column-like crap such as:

Whenever we see them together, we think about their relationship and what he did to it. There is complexity there. She can’t expect us to just put that aside. She may be able to compartmentalize as she pursues her goal, but why would we?

Why do these confounded idiots assume they speak for everybody. It’s always the proverbial “we” with them.

Like millions of other married couples, the Clintons have a relationship with some – OMG!!!!!!!! – complexity. So they’re married and he had an affair or several and she stayed with him – you’d think the way the Althouses of the world carry on that no other couple on the face of the earth experienced such things.

Bill and Hill should move to Canada where nobody cares.

Why has nobody here yet commented in the lustful gaze at the phallic tower of onion rings? Is it that it’s too low-hanging a fruit to even bother with. ‘Cause, if that’s the case, well then, you’ve all sadly disappointed me … if there is a raison d’etre for this here site, it would be for the encouragement of all forms of low-hanging drive by snarking.

Unless, of course, the whole onion ring tower is some kind of photoshop akin to the Sammich. In which case: Not funny, and change the subject.

Fozzetti said,
So- suppose the Clinton’s ad was a take-off on Battlestar Galactica?

…I would squeal like a schoolgirl?

I’m no Clinton fan, but I can’t advocate him taking one for the team and sleeping with Althouse. Being in that proximity to her would lead to murder, and imagine the noise from the right if Bill killed someone for real. It’s just not worth it.

Have him do it in Texas, and read her columns to the jury. “She needed killin’ yer honor!”

Besides, it’ll be a far more suitable punishment for Bill than impeachment. Live by the penis, suffer by the penis.

Well, the thing about organized crime is, it’s organized.

(Huh-heh… organ…)

Why has nobody here yet commented in the lustful gaze at the phallic tower of onion rings?

Ya mean…

Pinko Punko said,

GOLDEN ONION WIENER IN THE HIZZOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!

I imagine that the Golden Onion Wiener must be very confusing for Althouse, especially if the Clenis is in the same picture.

Ya know, if you’d just add underpants on Althouse’s head in that photo, you’d have Blackadder’s attempt to get out of the WWI trench warfare. And then we’d be sure she was just kidding.