Three Quarks For Muster Mark
We find the following at Blogs For Bush:
Woo, I think he means us!
At times lefty comments here state that the Multi-National Force Iraq news sources we use are unreliable – essentially telling us that our story is worthless because it is anchored by a MNF-I news report.
This is the second time in a few days that Mark has tried to explain why he uses raw government press releases as his primary source of information on Iraq.
This is unnecessary, because we’ve known for quite some time that Mark is thicker than a whale omelet — i.e., that he thinks Soul on Ice is a musical revue, thinks ‘astute’ is a sound produced by digestive gas, is coasting on square heelies. That is, that he thinks ‘aspic’ denotes a hygienic tool — i.e., that he is like doy.
Just for the record: if MNF-I says one thing, and the NY TImes/WaPo/LA Times/CNN/CBS/NBC/ABC/MSNBC say different, I’m gonig with the MNF-I story. The MSM has all too often been proven liars – meanwhile, the soldier-reporters assigned to MNF-I are under orders not to lie…and they’ll get in a lot more trouble if they do than, say, Dan Rather got with his “fake but accurate” news…MNF-I is just more worthy of our trust.
Actually, on the ‘soldier-reporter’ tip, a lot of this work was originally outsourced to John Rendon and his firm, and has since last year been handled by these PR hacks. ‘Under orders not to lie’ is a nice twist of reasoning, but it reminds us of the time Mark tried to start an Asian fast-food chain called Phở King. …Where customers had to stand in line in the Phở queue. I’m actually not sure where I’m going with that one.
But ‘ordered not to lie’ suggests a brief example. James Bamford did a profile of John Rendon, ‘The Man Who Sold The War,’ that won a 2006 National Magazine Award. The Rendon Group responded with a very strong, detailed rebuttal of the article, which included statements such as the following:
For the record, the Rendon Group (TRG) had no role whatsoever in making the case for the Iraq war, here at home or internationally. Mr. Bamford’s contention to the contrary is flatly untrue.
To which Bamford in turn replied, reminding the group that they, for instance, founded, funded, and directed something called the Iraqi National Congress.
Then again, maybe it was Backwards Day.
Of course, the really-real reason Mark gets his news from official Centcom press releases is that they tell him a story he wants to hear: that Iraq is a noble cause in which everything is going smoothly according to plan. Wouldn’t it be nice if it were so! Official press releases from MNF-I have come in four distinct phases, each roughly consummate with a year of the occupation (everyone is likely to recognize these narratives, and to be able to find numerous examples of them as they bubbled up through the media):
1) Victory! Hoo-boy, paintin’ lots of schools!
2) Rounding the corner against the dead-enders!
3) Uh, progress is measurable.
4) Surge! Wow, we are so not losing.
Look at even the INF-Iraq press releases in series, and the narrative is clear: The occupation in Iraq has been sinking since the beginning, and is entering a dangerous free-fall.
We have long known about the time when Mark heard that Boston is like a socialist Utopia, whereupon he wrote to Todd Rundgren to warn him he was being ripped off by commies. We are long advised of the time he wanted to make a fortune in real estate, and bought a land mine.
But enough is enough, already. It’s getting embarrassing.
Shorter Mark in lolcat;
Oh Haies!
ur all doubtin on mah playaz
but dey be da troofiesterest!
James Bamford did a profile of John Rendon
Ah yes. I remember that article.
On one side, Bamford — author of “Puzzle Palace” and “Body of Secrets” [words like ‘definitive’ and ‘magisterial’ go here].
On the other side, Rendon — proof that for your current administration, the intelligence community was just another piñata to crack open, and security clearances were worth about as much as doggy treats.
The sun went down last night, so I checked Richard Cohen’s column in the WaPoo.
This is not an entirely trivial matter since government officials should not lie to grand juries, but neither should they be called to account for practicing the dark art of politics. As with sex or real estate, it is often best to keep the lights off.
This column, ladles and jellyspoons, approaches Noonanity.
I thought everyday was backwards day for the wingnuttia.
As with sex or real estate, it is often best to keep the lights off.
The lights off??! Then I cannot read the instructions, or see the colour-coded arrows, and eventually the Frau Doktorin loses patience.
A few strategically-placed spotlights are good, at the very least. Candles stopped being romantic after I found out the hard way about the flammability of beards.
Yes, of course I’m talking about real estate.
Reminder, kids: don’t get in the elevator with the nice Mr. Cohen if you think the power might go out. Take the stairs.
Wait – didn’t the Pentagon come out a few years back and tell us that For Our Own Good they’d LIE to us if they thought it was necessary?
And Marky Mark believes they’re more reliable on the whole Iraq thing than the MSM. ‘Cause Dan Rather lied.
(“Wait- he didn’t lie; they never contested the validity of what the document said, only its typography!”
“Shut UP, dirty fucking hippie! *WHAP*)
As with sex or real estate, it is often best to keep the lights off.
#
BigHank53 said,
June 19, 2007 at 15:38
Reminder, kids: don’t get in the elevator with the nice Mr. Cohen if you think the power might go out. Take the stairs.
Oh, come on. He’s only after your huge tracts of land.
they’ll get in a lot more trouble if they do than, say, Dan Rather got with his “fake but accurate� news
So Dan Rather didn’t get into any trouble for his news reporting? What does “more trouble” than Dan Rather mean–waterboarding?
The server hamster must have died and your comment box is the size of my paycheck.
Man, that was fantastic. I literally laughed out loud when I read Noonan’s facile defense of his love of propaganda. This illustrates just how stupid (and shameless) Noonan really is. For the umpteenth time. That guy should have a column in The Onion or something.
if MNF-I says one thing, and the NY TImes/WaPo/LA Times/CNN/CBS/NBC/ABC/MSNBC say different, I’m gonig with the MNF-I story
Err, because in the process of understanding world events through the interpretation of univerally available narratives, these are clearly my only choices. If I was to honestly try and determine what was actually happening in Iraq, I’d have to READ and THINK, and that is simply two things I’m not willing to do.
If that makes me a lazy wingnut hack, so be it….
mikey
Oh crap. Preview’s gone again. I swear, you guys are cursed. This shit just doesn’t seem to happen to anybody else…
OT, but eenteresting, if you recall Pammy’s “Ismail Ax” Cho-global-jihad freak-out:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19299036/
“…When police found Cho’s body inside a Norris Hall classroom, the words “Ax Ishmael” were scrawled in red on his left arm, and notes and tapes he left also referred to them.
Investigators think “Ax Ishmael” is based on the biblical figure Ishmael, the son of Hagar, a maidservant to Sarah, and the prophet Abraham. Ishmael lived as an outcast, and his brother Isaac was favored. Writings that Cho left in his dorm room, sent to the Virginia Tech English Department and mailed to NBC reveal twisted references to religion as part of his identity….”
“…Cho, 23, of Centreville, whose family was religious and had sought help for him from a Woodbridge church, repeatedly made religious references. He said that he had been “crucified” and that, as with Jesus, his actions would set people free. He called himself a “martyr” who would “sacrifice” his life. He wrote that he would go down in history as the “Jesus Christ of the Weak and Defenseless. …”
So will the roundup of “Christian Males” start soon?
Sounds like a dangerous and crazy bunch if they are willing to kill so many in their God’s name.
Obviously, Guantanamo isn’t going to be big enough.
it is going to be funny when the onion announces they’ve been publishing “blogs for Bush” all along. the joke will be on us.
i really really really hope that this is the case. i really do. please?
as for richard cohen, the same applies, but i think it will be the AEI that announces he’s a bot they programmed to be a “liberal” in 93. and that, my friends, isn’t funny at all.
o hai
ur internetz is brokened
i sended u sum munnies
plz fix
kthxbai
I thought it was a Sacred Wingnut Principle that the Free Market can do everything better than the Government.
Is there a media exception clause to this Rule? Hmmm?
as if Mark Noonan knows the first thing about “what soldiers are ordered to do.”
Is there a media exception clause to this Rule? Hmmm?
Yes, it’s there beside the abortion exception, the sex exception, the drug exception, the naughty word exception, the god exception, the art exception, the immigration exception, the liberal exception, the [/tedium]
The exception clause: IOKIYAAR.
And I don’t seem to remember the “following orders” (not to lie, or to exterminate humans on a mass scale) defence worked @ Nuremberg. Also: What if the “soldier-reporters” (izzat like a “student-athlete”?) were ordered to lie by their superior officers? Huh? What about that, huh?
…Mark is thicker than a whale omelet
Expert usage of Blackadder quote, Gav. It made me happier than a Frenchman who’d invented a pair of self-removing trousers.