OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

teeheeheeheehee!

Oh, dear…..I feel like I’ve been snorting pixie stix or something. Gotta calm down first.

What, no “Caveman Riding a Dinosaur Award” for “science” articles? Or “Jamil Hussein Award” for articles about the journalistic profession?

I’ve got an account. But I’m afraid to post.

Somebody hold me…

Y’know, i’d totally forgot I got an account there last month. Got lost in the end of semester shuffle.
Oh, man. Where to begin. Where, oh where, to begin.

I didn’t realize it was possible for me to have more fun at Sadly, No!

**rubs hands together**

This should be most interesting.

Login error:
There is no user by the name “St. Bonerius”. Check your spelling, or create a new account.

Okay, that didn’t work out. Let me try again.

Welcome, DolphStoss!

Your account has been created.

Wow, they removed my changes to Leonardo, Michelangelo, Plato, Socrates, etc., almost immediately. I think they must have a “gay” bot that destroys truth when truth includes “gay.”

Very nice, RB. I’m JHVH, if anyone’s interested.

One question: how are we supposed to tell if we were beaten to the punch?
For example, can this possibly be real?

http://www.conservapedia.com/Essay:Quantifying_Openmindedness

Very nice, RB. I’m JHVH, if anyone’s interested.

[Psst, can I de-linkify that link? They’ll know someone here is linking to them.]

One question: how are we supposed to tell if we were beaten to the punch?

Lotsa red links to follow still.

Oops. Yeah, feel free to undo my link too, Gavin or Brad or whomever.

It might be the place to reignite the “conservative humor” link to sadly, no!

it’s taking fore-evah to load… I guess it runs as well as everything else in the conservative universe – slow, bloated, and white.

or maybe the website doesn’t like the smell of my brown servers….

Well of course you can, Gav. Heck, you just did. 🙂

My contributions have already been expunged, methinks. I’ll have to re-enroll. It’s okay, I’ve got plenty of email addresses to feed them.

How about the Eschaton Award for the most prescient, or at least creative, identification of the Antichrist.

oh, the irony! today’s historical quote: “Daily Historical Quote: “Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, can not long retain it.” Abraham Lincoln, letter to Henry L. Pierce and others, April 6, 1859.

I wonder if these people can actually read…

The republicans – the self-delusional party
Motto: “Why do all these gay men keep sucking my dick? I’m NOT gay!!”

Not Brit, I was just reading the entry on the Antichrist, and was tempted to put in a link to ol’ Falwell claiming that the antichrist is alive today, and a male jew.

I think it’s probably Al Franken, but that’s just me. 🙂

My first shot (link doesn’t refer to Sadly via Jaquandor’s trick.)

I’m in!

Welcome, TehUnicorn!

Your account has been created.

How fortuitous — my summer break began just yesterday, so oodles of time for writing good conservapediocity.

Hey, did anyone else have to solve a way difficult problem in order to create an account? I had to know what 99 + 1 is. Thank Jebus they’ve instituted a hurdle to keep any dimbulbs from adding dubious content.

Somebody else is going to have to go edit the entry on Fox News Channel. If I try, my head will explode.

Gone already, as they sussed the Yes Men connection.

Whu-oh. Someone just added “Horse” to his collection of Giant Wooden Animal Gifts.

So the wards go from Moses, a crazy survivalist with delusions of grandeur. Second to him, apparently, is Reagan, a crazy, senile, mediocre actor with delusions of grandeur, to Coolidge, who I’ve got nothing on expect I’m preeeetty sure he liked dressing up in pretty dresses. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Then Clay. Huh. Clearly, this is a reference to something that I simply don’t get. Or they just really like kilns, who knows.

Coulterwarrier111. The best I could do in 10 seconds and not giving a shit.

I am Manichean … hear me roar!

It must be total chaos at Conservapedia HQ- I only got in 3 little entries on abstract-expressionist painters before getting locked out.

“I tell you Bobby I can’t keep up with the swarms of bullshit entries! For the love of God, where are they all coming from???”
“I know god damn it just SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT ALL DOWN NOW!!!!”

You’re locked out? It looks like teh mgmt just posted a welcome on your user page.

Aha! This was just posted:

Edit rights

Whilst all users can edit, in order to avoid vandalism, editing is sometimes shut off while it is night-time in the U.S. While editing is shut off, only those users granted editing rights can edit at all.

Yeah, every article says “this page has been locked to prevent editing.” Which sucks, because I wanted to write some choice shit about George Braque.

editing is sometimes shut off while it is night-time in the U.S

Ah, I see. Well, it will just make it that much sweeter when I ratfuck all of their modern art entries. It’s going to be great. They’ll be totally misinformed!

It’s going to be great. They’ll be totally misinformed!

I know there’s something funny to say here, but all I’m coming up with is, okay, a tattoo artist has an appointment with that completely-blue guy from the Jim Rose sideshow, to help ink-in a hard-to-reach spot…

Glad to see John Wayne is noted with his real name is Marian Morrison.

Still no entry for “tungsten”. No “ring-tailed lemur”. No “Mike Nelson”. No “DDR2”. Let’s try… hmmm… Bismarck… Oh, it’s the capital of North Dakota. Weird. Could have sworn I heard that word used with other things a few times…

These conservapedia admins best be getting cracking. They’re well lagging behind.

Huh. No entry for George Lincoln Rockwell.

The prize will be a used review copy of Caucus of Corruption, Mark’s new book. We’re not quite done with it yet.

I assume it wasn’t printed on absorbent paper, then. A curious lack of foresight on Mark’s publisher’s part…

So when the Schlafly spawn goes to bed to dream of slaying muslimotexmexo orcs he shuts it down?
Damn, this is fun. I still don’t even know where to begin. It’s like being 17 and in England and not getting carded for the first time in my life.
Well, not like that, but still fun. I really want to leave a permanent mark, tho. Gotta find ways to slip under their radar.

“This will be a contest with the purpose of exponentially increasing the number of well written articles”

The jokes write themselves, don’t they?

I don’t have much time to contribute but oh man, they are in need of entries –

I looked up “lesbian” – There is no page titled “lesbian”. You can create this page.

I looked up “pedophile” (think Mark Foley) – This page has been deleted and protected to prevent re-creation
“pedophilia” gave the same result.
(So they don’t believe in, or else don’t want any information about, pedophiles?)

Will have to check other entries later.
Have fun all of you, I look forward to the new entries….mwahahahaha.

I looked up “pedophileâ€? (think Mark Foley) – This page has been deleted and protected to prevent re-creation… “pedophiliaâ€? gave the same result.

Given the history of fun-loving right-wing prayer & twinkie types, perhaps they meant “recreation,” without the hyphen.

Oh man, I found one of the bestest conservapeida blips evah!!!

Shut down government science research, now that science research can be funded through the internet. See how the American government refused to fund a small test that the public wants done here. Is the problem that government will not fund anything contrary to the Theory of Relativity?

I love Conservapedia’s logic

1.Some guy wants to raise money for experiments that could possibly lead to time travel.

2. He is able to raise money via the internet because the general public thinks that time travel is cool assesses the scientific merit of his proposal and awards him money because of it

3. That because the government didn’t fund him, it must have been some conspiracy of that Einsteinian cabal which keeps us from teaching the controversy about, well, I’m not sure if they mean special relativity or general relativity or both. Which is strange because as far as I know neither have anything to do with quantum mechanics, which is what the article deals with.

4. That because of this the government should not fund scientific research at all and instead it should be up to the public at large to fund whatever seems awesome scientifically possible.

My scientific proposal: That conservapedia give me $5 000 to research a beer that tastes great, builds muscle mass and attracts hot members of the opposite sex.

“This will be a contest with the purpose of exponentially increasing the number of well written articles�

“Because frankly the quality of our writing has heretofore sucked ass. I’m not in the business of denying the bleeding fucking obvious. So I came up with this little contest to bail us out of this trough of suck that has been Conservapedia until now.”

I love the way that the article linked to by His Grace and the Conservapedia post based on it are premised on the idea that there’s some conspiracy or at least groupthink against this sort of experiment. But the only two funding bodies mentioned as rejecting grant applications are NASA, which the article admits is “getting out of the advanced concepts business” because of the manned spaceflight push, and DARPA, which funds military research not quantum mechanical research. There’s tons of research being done on quantum entanglement.

The entry for neoconservative suggests one possible point of entry. The Conservapedians seem to be a little skeptical about the concept (to say the least). They quote someone who says that neocons should be called “Trotskycons,” which almost certainly is not intended as a compliment.

Perhaps there is room for a certain amount of criticism of neoconservativism and its adherents.

I like the fact that the entry for Doug Feith includes the quote of him being the stupidest guy on the face of the planet. How long will that stay up?

Oh yes, my preciousssss:

James Guckert, also known as Jeff Gannon, is a conservative journlist and blogger in the Washington, DC area. He operates a web site dedicated to fairness and objectivity in journalism. Frequently, he points out double-standards in the “Old Media,” as well as criticizing the “Angry Gay Left.”

This article has been identified as having problems with length, content and/or style, and is therefore classified as a Very Short Article (VSA). You can and are encouraged to make this article better by contributing. Please add factual and verifiable content, edit phrases to make them non problematic, or make this article more grammatically correct. Please remember to abide by The Conservapedia Commandments in your actions, though.

Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man. How to do this with subtlety… that’s the question. This is paydirt right here.

There is no page titled “paris hilton”. You can create this page.

Perhaps there is room for a certain amount of criticism of neoconservativism and its adherents.

I’m going straight to hell for even thinking this I’m sure, but we should start a pool to see how long “Jewish Conspiracy” material would remain undeleted from that entry.

Go read their page on George W. Bush. I think it was written by a 6th grader.

They do tend to use “Democratic Party” instead of “Democrat Party.” Must be a liberal conspiracy.

I’m going straight to hell for even thinking this I’m sure, but we should start a pool to see how long “Jewish Conspiracy� material would remain undeleted from that entry.

s’okay, I thought it too. One might be able to undermine the neocons that way…but on balance that’d only bolster the theocons, who are absolutely batshit crazy. (The one saving grace of the neocons is that they tend to be socially liberal or libertarian.) There are some debate pages about evolution v. intelligent design that will give you some idea of what the intraconservative debate is all about.

BTW, I am Doramus over there. Trying to slip in Gannon content that they won’t delete is an interesting game…

How about acrostics?

I think a good strategy is to try to cite conservative sources for your information if possible. For example, much of the negative information about Feith uses The American Conservative as a source, which these guys will no doubt consider unimpeachable.

I’m tempted to create a “Disgraced Conservatives” entry–one that includes Foley, Haggard, Gannon, etc.–but I don’t think it would last long.

Trilateral, instead of “Disgraced,” try “Persecuted.” Insist it was all liberal media smear and state that none of the charges were ever proven in a court of law. That’s what I’m doing with Gannon. So far, it seems to be working — they edited the title of the page to “Jeff Gannon” from “Jeff gannon” and left my additions in.

If we can get a motif of “never proven in a court of law” started, we can riff off that in a lot of ways.

Eeeehee hee hee. *Ahem* The entry for ‘computer’ is atrocious. ‘Tulippa’ fixed a couple of the typos and made an addition, without bothering to correct any of the glaring problems (i.e. Babbage’s wife was named Georgiana Whitmore; Ada Lovelace was the woman that is considered to be the first programmer, etc.). Then I discovered that there was no entry for ‘cryptography’. So I fixed that, too.

Enjoy!

http://www.conservapedia.com/Cryptography

Ack! Feel free to de-link that. I didn’t realize/remember that would happen… I blame it on reading that site.

Ada Lovelace was the woman that is considered to be the first programmer

Was her first program – “Deep Thought”?

“Southern Strategy” could probably use an entry. “Masturbation” would be a fun one to write up, but it’s locked to prevent re-creation, apparently.

“Onanism” is available, though.

His Grace said,
1.Some guy wants to raise money for experiments that could possibly lead to time travel.

You can’t prove anything.
I just like buying Delorians. That doesn’t mean anything. I’ve never met with any Libyans. Who told you?! It was that punk-ass intern, wasn’t it!! So help me god, I’ll see to it that he’s fed to the sea bass for this!

I don’t have the patience or creativity at the moment to participate in your shenanigans (though I wholeheartedly endorse them, you betcha!). But what I can do is tiptoe through the “Random page” offerings and snatch fun stuff from the “Discussion” sections of controversial topics. For instance, here’s a remarkably astute quote from the Discussion page of the topic “Universe”:

OK, the same b******t quot3 mining that are on astronomy got pasted in here. I believe, we witness the implosion of conservapedia. Can anything related to science ever be explored properly here, without being weighed down with YEC apologetics (I love that word!) Human 00:00, 6 May 2007 (EDT)

Sometimes, you don’t even need discussion for a good laugh:

Trivial Pursuit is a competitive trivia guessing game that became quite popular in the early to mid 1980’s. It is played on a board where you try to get ‘pieces’ to a ‘pie’ by rolling a die and landing on different colored squares, each of which was a separate category. Since the original version, different variants have come out on specific themes, such as the 1990’s. Overall the questions are considered to be rather difficult, and could be quite challenging even to the well read.

And the Discussion page at the John Kerry entry is just to die for. Apparently, there are some people over there actually trying to, I don’t know, make the place respectable by holding the entries to some standards of trustworthiness. I don’t know why they would bother, but I salute them.

Hmm… something seems a wee bit wrong with this entry:

The melting point of any pure substance is the temperature, under a standard atmosphere of pressure, at which that substance changes status from a liquid into a gas, or vice versa.

George — I’m probably missing some joke, here, but no. It was the calculation of the Bernoulli numbers.

Oh holy hell that’s hilarious.

http://www.conservapedia.com/Talk:StudyConservapedia

“Moses Award”? You KNOW they wanted to call it the Jesus Award. There must have been some heavy-duty tongue-biting going on when they were ready to name that one.

“No!… must make…. non-Christians think… we….. tolerate them!”

the Hillary Clinton one is superb, reads like a WND editorial

[…] Gavin, we learned that Conservapedia is allowing new accounts to foster truthiness in Wiki form.  […]

re: pedophile… you could always do:

http://www.conservapedia.com/index.php?title=Paedophile&action=edit

The fruity British spelling just makes it even better.

At last! A forum for true conservatives such as myself. Now I need no longer darken your doorstep here at this com-symp playground. To celebrate my new home, like a true right-wing blogonaut, I just set up my conservapedia account using my actual true real name: Hugh Jorgen.

“This will be a contest with the purpose of exponentially increasing the number of well written articles�

Yeah, exponentially.

Which one of you yahoos is “Icewedge is a sensitive man”? [see track back above for possibly taken usernames]

exponentially increasing the number of well written articles
— In this case, the exponent being iÏ€.

Chimera, they really are asking for a definition of ‘exponent’. And one for ‘humor’ too. Surely someone can oblige?

Sport fans can try to create the entry for “Evander Holyfield (his faith overcame illness and Mike Tyson)”. Was Jesus a middleweight?

I’ve gone for a light touch in creating the Chuck Colson entry they wanted – references to his realising his best interests lay in being born again after his criminal conviction, his early release from prison, his restoration of voting rights by Bush’s brother for 2000 in Florida while thousands were illegally denied, and his recent denunciation of coffee shops. But it’s all true, and referenced. I’ve also left open the question of whether his 3rd child was born to his first wife while he was divorcing her, or to his second wife in the first 8 months of their marriage.

You want a tragically funny take on history? Here ya go. You’re welcome.

Hey, anybody else see this LA Times article they’re touting on their main page? *snort* But go check out the RationalWiki the article mentions, which was started by a Doc who got banned for trying to bring rationality to the breast cancer article.

…ya know, a coupla folks should try being double agents. Y’know, write articles that fit right it, argue “their” way, etc., until wassiface think they’re good guys and makes ’em sysops, with access to all the edit controls and stuff! heeeee

Hey! Where’s preevie button??? Ah, into the breach blind, with html untested.

Their post under deceit seemed curiously devoid of conservative examples so I posted a Scooter entry. it was removed and i was banned within a half hour. Lesson: don’t go to heavy on the snark and kids always where protection.

Put in a teensy change on the Crusades article…..let’s see if it stays.

Put in a teensy change on the Crusades article…..let’s see if it stays.

Nope.

[…] Gavin adds: And don’t forget to send (i.e., preserve in some form before they’re deleted and give to us for ecstatic promulgation) your entries in the Conservapedia contest. […]

Buncha registered and email-confirmed accounts for those who can’t be bothered registering. Password is sadlyno, email is @mailinator.com

ImAfraidNot
DontThinkSo
SorryButNo
YeahNahEh
SmashLiberals
LoveTehJesus

Here’s some registered and email-confirmed accounts for those who can’t be bothered registering. Password is sadlyno, email is @mailinator.com

ImAfraidNot
DontThinkSo
SorryButNo
YeahNahEh
SmashLiberals
LoveTehJesus
DonPerignon (no email)
JehovahCClark
JeezCrikey
AnnCoulterFan
GayBasher
ScienceIsAtheism

Ummm, how do you make an account? Or are they no longer allowing accounts due to flagrant vandalism? I really wanted to get in on that.

this site is actually one of the result of tungsten ring… tungsten ring is scratch resistant.. if you want 2 know about tungsten ring…visit my side

regards
sam

I wrote on the GOD page that “God is only the third being known that could deep throat their own 3 inch dick” i got banned in about 15 minutes