From the unreleased, raw transcript:

“Uh, hey there, pope. Gonna call ya ‘sky pilot’ from now on. Heh heh. All m’friends get nicknames, y’know? How ya doin, sir? Yessir, I’ve pretty much heard it all about iraq, but we’re defendin’ america, so due respect, fuck off, ok? Heh heh. Y’know pope, we’re good with all that compassion shit yer always goin on about. Laura tells me about it sometimes. We’re sendin money and medicine to africa to fight AIDS. You know ’bout AIDS, right, sir? That’s what them queers get from buttfuckin. You’re against all that buttfuckin too, aren’tcha pope? So see, we’re all jes’ tryin to do the lords work, y’know?”

mikey

Well, it’s better than “Yo, Ratzinger!”

(What’s the appropriate address for the Pope, anyway? I just realized that I don’t have the slightest idea. Fortunately, I won’t be meeting him anytime soon….)

Bush said (to Pope Ratzo): “I did — your old country –“

I did your old country? Does he mean that in the biblical sense?

I believe you refer to the pope as your holiness, even if you aren’t catholic.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope#Forms_of_address

But then, Bush ain’t exactly big on formality. Why his shtick was considered presidential instead of frat boy-like antics, is something I never understood about America.

What’s the appropriate address for the Pope, anyway?
If you address the postcard to “Panzerpope, Vatican City”, it will probably reach him.

He’s the Pontificator.

Hey, at least Bush didn’t give him a backrub.

Hey, at least Bush didn’t give him a backrub.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

What is the difference between this and just sending Jim Belushi around to meet with world leaders? I want to know.

At least Belushi had a brother who was good at something. I vote we send Jim Belushi next time.

I really hope we can elect a preznit in 2008 who can at least string a coherent sentence together. Every time I watch Letterman’s “Great Moments in Presidential Speeches” thing, I cringe.

Clearly what we need is more Gravy-Tars, or gravitas, or whatever in the White House.

Huckabee for Preznit!1eleven11!!

Them thar gravy tars is right tasty, iffn’ you squirt a lil’ ketchup on ’em.

If only every rethuglican preznitential candidate had a son like Huckabee’s, what a wonderful world this would be…

Righteous Bubba for the win.

I’m surprised he didn’t sneak up on the Pope form behind and shake him.

Digby!

The poorest being that crawls on earth, contending to save itself from injustice and oppression, is an object respectable in the eyes of God and man. But I cannot conceive any existence under heaven (which in the depths of its wisdom tolerates all sorts of things) that is more truly odious and disgusting than an impotent, helpless creature, without civil wisdom or military skill, without a consciousness of any other qualification for power but his servility to it, bloated with pride and arrogance, calling for battles which he is not to fight, contending for a violent dominion which he can never exercise, and satisfied to be himself mean and miserable, in order to render others contemptible and wretched.

Your philosophical Daddy
Edmund

With hugs and kisses to the Pantload and pals.

Doesn’t anyone brief the Embarrassment-in-Chief on protocol before he’s allowed to leave the country? Can’t they rig up one of those earpiece-prompting devices like he had strapped to his back during one of the 2004 debates?

On the other hand, it’s kinda funny to see the Mr. Funnyhat-Holy Man guy get disrespected by the Deciderer.

Hey, Jim Belushi was awesome in “Red Heat” and on the “Live from the House of Blues: Blues Brothers and Friends” album ! I’m thinkin’ Duh-bya On Tour is more like traveling with sidekick Terry Bradshaw, in the new direct-to-video “Fly Cannonball One” where Prince Bandar is played by Jamie Farr and they’re racing, see, to collect the parts to a radar station from all the capitols in Europe, and assemble them in Budapest in 24 hours. (It was going to be Prague, but Budapest underbid.) Some stories write themselves.

Eh, I don’t know, I think it’s been one big skidmark for him ever since his appearence in the gorilla suit in Trading Places. Or at least since Salvador.

Bush later in the day at a press conference with Prime Minister Prodi:

Jennifer, I’ll be glad to share some of the private conversation with His Holy Father. First, I’ll give you an impression. I was talking to a very smart, loving man. And, you know, after six-and-a-half years of being the President, I’ve seen some unusual — I’ve been to some unusual places and I’ve met some interesting people. And I was in awe, and it was a moving experience for me.

He then added, “I’ve seen a million faces, and I’ve rocked them all!”

“it was a moving experience for me.”

He made doody in his pants!

Doesn’t anyone brief the Embarrassment-in-Chief on protocol before he’s allowed to leave the country?

I guess that course isn’t offered at Liberty University.

(interior: inside the president’s airplane, Air Cannonball One, BUSH is thinking while sidekick TERRY Bradshaw is playing the pinball machine.)
BUSH: We’ve got to establish our star wars radar installavatory in Prague before that guy Put-tang builds his radar thingy in Azeralanon…Azerbarbizon…down there.
TERRY: The first guy to have radar missile interceptors will get the defense contract for all Europe! Being second means going back to renting snowmobiles at national parks for a living.
BUSH: You can’t make money renting snowmobiles at the Grand Canyon, Terry.
(The red telephone lights up and the red video monitor attached comes on. Shown is VLADIE Putin [Jim Belushi], the President of Rooshia.)
VLADIE (french accent): ‘Allo, Georg.

Eh, I don’t know, I think it’s been one big skidmark for him ever since

I loved this! But I thought it was going to finish with “the 2000 election”. I’m disappointed.

“It’s good to be with you sir,� Bush said as he sat before the Pontiff’s private desk in the Vatican.

Shouldn’t that read “on the Pontiff’s desk”?

While I’m generally pretty down with the Bush-bashing, having done it myself more or less continuously since the bonehead was elected… what’s wrong w/ calling the Pope “sir”? Sure, he’s known as “Your Holiness”, but that’s a rather long handle to use continuously. I know that while the Queen of England is formally addressed as “Your Majesty”, it’s also perfectly acceptable to refer to her as “ma’am”. I just think that there’s plenty of actual gaffes that can be used to Bush-bash, without making up protocol violations.

(Interior: A hangar at Rome airport, BUSH runs down the steps of Air Cannonball One, and turns to look up at the two people standing in the doorway. The plane’s pilot, CAPTAIN Kos [Dom DeLuise], and LAURA [Kelly Ripa].)
BUSH: Are you sure this Pope fella can get us a trannie seething rectomometer?
LAURA: Transceiving rectifier, dear. Silvio Berlosconi bought the largest one in Europe just before the Italian election. He didn’t have time to install it in his teevee station before he was voted out. Its still in a crate in the Pope’s catacombs.
BUSH: But are you sure he’s willing to trade for it?
CAPTAIN: I told you the Pope’s my first cousin, you’ll like him.
BUSH: How’m I gonna recognize him?
CAPTAIN: He’s looks exactly like me…except not as handsome.
(BUSH runs to the back of the plane, where TERRY is offloading the presidential car, Trans Am One [Hot Wheels tie-in].)
TERRY: Its all gassed up and ready to go. Here’s the directions to the Vatican, so I’ll drive, and you sit in the back with the monkey and tell me where to turn.
BUSH: Not so fast there, Pittsburgh Boy! You drive slower than a Florida golf cart when the early bird special is Turkey Ala King. I’m driving and you sit in back with the directions and the monkey.
TERRY: But this monkey has the only stem cells in the world consistent with human DNA! The Pope will trade us the rectifier only for him. George, you’re the only person who can keep him calm, he likes drinking beer with you.
BUSH: Well, the monkey is holding the map right side up, so he can sit up front.
TERRY: What am I gonna do?
BUSH: You can sit up front too, and translate for the monkey.
(They all jump into the front seat, and peel out.)

From News 24:

US President George W Bush drew gasps at the Vatican on Saturday by referring to Pope Benedict XVI as “sir” instead of the expected “His Holiness”, pool reporters said.

They could clearly hear the US leader say “Yes, sir” when the pope asked him if he was going to meet with officials of the lay Catholic Sant’Egidio community at the US embassy later during his visit.

[…]

The pool reporters also noted Bush’s relaxed posture, crossing his legs “Texan style” while facing the pope across his desk in the private study of the apostolic palace.

El País has a good picture of Benedict and Bush at the desk.

I would probably have called him ‘sir’, too. Or Mr. Ratzenberger, or whatever his name is.

I hate to say it, but this, like with the Queen, is another occasion of a stopped watch being right. I can’t find major fault here.
Fuck the Pope. Just in general, tho this one in particular.
If I met the Pope, I’d call him Hat Guy, and needle him about the Dodgers.

Shouldn’t that read “on the Pontiff’s desk�?

Well, to be fair, I originally read it as “at”. After the Clinton Library thing, I sort of expect the idiot to make himself at home everywhere.

And merlallen, I would too. Except that A) I was subjected, to my continuing detriment, to the sorts of priests the pope has attempted to protect, and B) it wouldn’t be an international incident if I did.

“#

merlallen said,

June 10, 2007 at 5:52

I would probably have called him ’sir’, too. Or Mr. Ratzenberger, or whatever his name is.”

Heh. Herr Popenfuher.

I would have been spending most of my energy trying to NOT tell him that a band of rebels have landed on the sentry moon, and that my son was with them.

I gotta say, I’m with Sean and ADB here. Far as I’m concerned, he’s a silly old man in a ridiculous outfit – that’s, as D. Sidhe has pointed out, played more than his fair share of Hide-The-Pedophile in his time.

Hell, he’d be lucky if I stuck to “sir”, come to that.

It’s not really about whether you think the Pope is a great guy or not, it’s about basic etiquette. It’s about not being a hillbilly idiot who doesn’t know how act when you’re representing the USA.

you’re pope-in’ to the east,
you’re pope-in’ to the west,
you’re pope-in’ with the one I like best,
you’re pope’in.
–st clarence of carter

I’ll be glad to share some of the private conversation with His Holy Father.

Christ on a pogo stick.

Yes, it’s basic etiquette. It’s like not wearing Dixie Flag shorts in the Sistine Chapel. And since Bush gets snippy with people who don’t kiss his metaphorical ring, it would have been nice for him not to mangle it so.

And, y’know, you can still say ‘fuck you, Your Holiness’.

And, y’know, you can still say ‘fuck you, Your Holiness’.

Whoever scheduled Bush to see the pope did just that.

I don’t dispute if I were presnident I’d have to observe protocol out of basic professional duty.
That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy puffed up anachronisms having their toes stepped on.

Holy shit! Who let Karl Rove into the Vatican?

Which, to reconcile my two comments, is to say out of all Bush’s failures, this is one of the very few which prove enjoyable. I’m just glad for the rare moment of zen.

If I have a dog that constantly shits on the floor, having him shit on the floor of some jerk’s house is small compensation for still having to put up with the thing.

bush probably just got flustered because the pope was being so worrisome.

you know how it is…you’re trying to figure out how to trick the pope into revealing how the catholic church managed to get their own sweet teeny country-type thing AND trying to stay out of the way of the protestors who are dogging your every step…you forget a few things. like what to call that one dude and how to sit up straight. give a guy a break, ok?

Everyone knows the Pope is Satan Claus.

I had rather hoped that the Vatican would issue a press release, in which Bush and the Panzerpope jointly condemned the medieval theocracies of the world and urged them to take steps towards democracy and the equal treatment of women. That would cheer me up.

Here’s what the “true” Catholics say the protocol is for addressing His Scariness:

The answer is simple, with only a few options:

1. Dear Holy Father, (or)
2. Your Holiness,

Someone needs to introduce Bush to Google.

“Your Holiness” just doesn’t have that pope-taneity of “His Holy Father”.
It leaves the question of just whose Holy Father, but hey, it sounds everyman-ish.
Hello Muddah, Holy Faddah,
Here I am, at Castello Granada.
–st allen of sherman

Doesn’t anyone brief the Embarrassment-in-Chief on protocol before he’s allowed to leave the country?

“How many voting precincts can the Pope steal?” — K. Rove

“And, y’know, you can still say ‘fuck you, Your Holiness’”

Whoever scheduled Bush to see the pope did just that.

Righteous Bubba, for the win!

Someone needs to introduce Bush to Google.

They have, he just calls it “the Googles”.

Here I am, at Castello Granada.
What about Terry and the prezzie? I can’t believe you just left the story hanging to riff on Allan Sherman. I am breathlessly waiting for the final installment. Sheesh.

What’s the appropriate address for the Pope, anyway?

“Oi! You in the hat!”

Sitting before the Pontiff’s private desk is a breach of protocol, it seems. Apparently you’re supposed to wait until the desk is seated; then you can sit down yourself. If you’re really punctilious, you wait for the hatstand to make itself comfortable as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rB9_X3Ppq24
Because I’m just a giving person. With a horrible youtube addiction. seriously. help me.

Waitaminnit, I could have sworn I saw on the news somewhere that the pope had been replaced by a small white rabbit.

Must have been Faux. Wrong again the fucking wankers.

“It’s not really about whether you think the Pope is a great guy or not, it’s about basic etiquette. It’s about not being a hillbilly idiot who doesn’t know how act when you’re representing the USA.”

tb nailed it. I’m just grateful W didn’t prop his feet up on the Popenator’s Holy Desk.

“I had rather hoped that the Vatican would issue a press release, in which Bush and the Panzerpope jointly condemned the medieval theocracies of the world and urged them to take steps towards democracy and the equal treatment of women.”

Herr Doktor Bimler: Ha. Hahahaha. Hahahahahahahahahaha.

Nah, I’d imagine their conversation more along the lines of Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd in “Ghostbusters,” when they get off the elevator in the hotel with their neutron packs, and DA says “We should split up” and BM says, “Yeah, good idea. We can do more damage that way.”

HDB: I also notice all the wimminfolk had their heads covered with—whazzat, veils?— in the presence of His Holiness the Popinator. Isn’t this what the wingnuts razzed Nancy Pelosi about when she went to the Mideast? I guess it’s ok to symbolically shame women in this manner, as long as it’s the correct loathesome godbag poo-bah who’s demanding it.

It would have helped the Catholic church if they hadn’t elected a pope who resembles Emporer Palpatine. Just put the black robe on him in your mind. You’ll see it.

I’m sure Der Fratboy knows what the Pope like to be called in public. I’m just as sure that calling someone ‘Yer Holiness’ rubs Bush’s late-in-life Texas Fundamentalist Protestantism totally the wrong way. He won’t call the pope ‘Yer Holiness’ because, according to Bush’s religion, only god gets to be called ‘holy’.

Herr Doktor, amusing as always. Bush didn’t seem to care whether the desk was seated or not, and I shudder to think of what he did with the hatstand.

MzMicky, I thought I was the only one who noticed that. Wonder if it’ll be in all the ‘papes tomorrow?

Heh heh heh, except the papes ‘papes, of course. Heh heh heh.

(Stops upon realising that no-one else has even the faintest idea what I’m sniggering about. Shuffles sideways offstage in shame.)

Angela Merkel unveiled in the presence of His Holy Sirness!

Queen Sofía of Spain in white in the presence of His Deceased Holy Fatherhead!

Laura Bush outraged!

How about “Your Popitude”?

Your Poposity?

Ratzy-baby?

Jiggery-popery?

And he should always be announced “Hoc est Popus.”

Benny Sixandten?

Yes, it’s basic etiquette. It’s like not wearing Dixie Flag shorts in the Sistine Chapel. And since Bush gets snippy with people who don’t kiss his metaphorical ring,

Good to point this out. IIRC, Bush makes his old Texas buddies call him “Mr. President.”

I’m wondering if Bush has a nickname for the Pope. Ratzy, or something.

actually, Queen Sofia, like all Spanish monarchs, can wear white in front of the Pope. Spain and the Papacy are BFF.

Yes, Sofía, like other female Catholic monarchs, enjoys the White Privilege (that’s what it’s called).

Waitaminute, what now? The vatican has rules about what fucking COLOR your clothes can be “in front of” the pope? No joke here? Now see, this is another example (number eight billion, two hundred three) of why the whole religion thing is stoopid. I mean, where do you even GET a rule like that? The food stuff, the day of the week, the odd gestures, the mindless ritual, it’s all pretty dumb. But why the hell would anyone care what color your clothes are? I mean, I get it that you should be well dressed, polite and respectable. I GET that bermuda shorts and an “I’m with Stupid” tee shirt is probably not a good approach, but you can’t wear white? What the hell is THAT all about?

mikey

I mean, where do you even GET a rule like that?

Queer Eye for the Vatican Guy.

# PG said, June 10, 2007 at 8:56

What about Terry and the prezzie? I can’t believe you just left the story hanging to riff on Allan Sherman. I am breathlessly waiting for the final installment. Sheesh.

PG, for thee and for me.

(Interior: The cockpit of Air Cannonball One. BUSH and LAURA (Kelly Ripa) are kneeling next to the prostrate CAPTAIN (Dom Deluise).
CAPTAIN (moaning): I’ve put the plane on autopilot. Something’s terribly, terribly wrong.
(CAPTAIN barfs)
LAURA: Dear Captain, I smell bitter almonds on your breath. (pause) No, wait, not almonds, but saint john’s wort and hyacinth with echinacea highlights. I’ve read about this in a library book. You’ve been dosed with a wholly organic but powerful emetic.
BUSH: A Jimenez? Like Montezuma’s Revenge?
LAURA: An emetic. It makes his system empty. So, yeah, sorta.
(CAPTAIN barfs, and TERRY sticks his head in the doorway.)
TERRY: Vladimir is calling on the red line. I’ll patch him thru to here.
(VLADIE [Jim Belushi] on the video monitor on the pilot’s console, right next to the autopilot indicator control knob.)
VLADIE (french accent): ‘Allo Georg. I am ze sorry to hear about vous pilot. Our scientists tell moi that he will be sick only a few hours, and then will be bon, and able to land your plane. Zoot alors, those few hours will be enough for our Azerbaijani interceptor missile controlling radar station to, how you say, come on-line. Its a pity, no, a sorrow and a pity, no, a sorrow and a pity and a coincidence that your pilot should have the same disease as your fa-ze-her had in Japan.
BUSH: You dosed my fa-ze-her…I mean my father, too ?! Vladie, you are a major-league nogoodnik.
TERRY and LAURA: Big Time!
(CAPTAIN barfs)
LAURA: Dear, you were a jet fighter pilot, why don’t you land this plane?
BUSH: I’m not rated for this equipment.
TERRY: Tell her, Dub!
BUSH: Hush! Hush your mouth, Terry!
TERRY: No! No, I won’t hush, Dub. You need to tell her the real reason you never take the controls of any plane, the reason that you’re the only ex-fighter-jockey in America who never even flies a puddlejumper for fun. I’ve kept your secret for too many years. America needs you to land this plane, Dub. And Laura needs to know just how much you love her, and America.
BUSH: Well, Vladie, I guess there are now three reasons why we’ll never have another beer together.
VLADIE: Three raisons?
BUSH: The first one is that I’m gonna land this plane at Prague airport in a few minutes, and I’m not certified for this aircraft. I might be arrested, but the American people deserve a president who won’t let a few rules get in the way of freedom’s flight. The second reason is that when I looked into your heart, Vladie, I didn’t see into your lead-lined ventricle for what must be a hard clot of enevilment.
VLADIE: And the third raison?
BUSH: Russian beer sucks ass.
(BUSH reaches over to the console and turns the autopilot indicator control knob to the off position, VLADIE looks panicked, and then BUSH turns off the monitor and grasps the plane’s controls.)
BUSH: Terry, I want you to go down to the cargo hold and make sure nothing happens to that rectifier. Its the only one we’ve got, and this might could be a bumpy landing. As soon as we touch down, load the rectifier into Camaro One, and start the engine. I’ve got a strategeric installation to get on-line.
TERRY: Right, Dub! The monkey and me will handle that crate softer than pudding in a pillowcase. (leaves)
LAURA: Terry and that monkey surely get along. It was real nice of the Pope to let the monkey come with us.
BUSH: Terry doesn’t know it yet, but when this is all over, the monkey’s goin’ back to the Vatican research lab…and Terry’s goin’ with him.
LAURA: I’ll head back to my seat and let you work now.
BUSH: Honey, would you sit in the copilots’ chair? There’s somethin’ I’ve got to say to you. (BUSH reaches over and hold’s LAURA’s hand.)
(intersperse scene[BUSH flies plane and tells LAURA his secret] with scene[Terry and the monkey’s adventures in the cargo hold preventing crate from damage during turbulent landing])
(exterior: Budapest airport terminal as plane flies overhead, low and loud, with views of astounded Hungarian citizens. Zoom in on sign in many languages, but top line is in English, “Welcome to Prague Airport”.)

I call him “Vlad the Impaler”…heh, heh, heh, heh…Bush utters as he snaps his towel at Vlad’s butt and gives him some noogies on his balding head.

Did anyone see how pathetically happy our clueless president was on videos shot in Albania that a crowd of people actually liked him and cheered for him? He blew kisses and waded into the crowd to shake people’s hands. In this country he’d pull his arm out minus a couple of fingers…

Other then military crowds, Republican high-roller meetings, and a few backward countries in Eastern Europe, the Bush baby cannot go anywhere where he is not booed, jeered, or assaulted by angry crowds.

I keep waiting and hoping that he’ll burst into tears at one of his few press conferences when he’s asked a question he doesn’t like…

In his heart Bush knows the pope is the anti-christ and the RCC is the whore of Babylon. Or something like that.

I just wish that Bush were refusing the address the pope by his ludicrous honorific as a deliberate matter of policy, instead of as a mere stupid social gaffe.

I don’t think our nation’s head of state ought to respect a protocol which calls for him to stoop to addressing any trumped-up religious leader with anything more than a polite “sir”.

When I told my friend the bit about Bush calling Der Popemeister ‘Sir’, she came up with the best explanation I’ve heard so far.

‘Aha! One master, one apprentice!’