deadly (in the larger, theological sense of the word)

because the smaller, secular use of the word means it can kill ya. The large version means it probably won’t. Am I getting this?

Sure, easy to part horny people with their money but so much harder to be the recipient of it these days — so much competition. The company I work for has the right approach, I think. We target closeted males with pornography and provide “escort” reviews and contact info as bonus content. We have the porn, repression and prostitutes escorts bases fully covered. And it keeps me comfortably middleclass with a good PPO plan and dental.

Here’s where he really tips his hand:

Keep in mind that the manufactured band, The Monkees, was once cutting edge and is now old fashioned.

Uh, no. No, they weren’t.

The Monkees were manufactured to fill the teenage pop niche, and if you think they represented the “cutting edge” of 1966 — a year that saw Dylan’s Blonde on Blonde, Cream’s Fresh Cream, the Beach Boys’ Pet Sounds and the Beatles’ Revolver, to name just a few — you’re squarer than Lee Marvin’s jaw.

This is so unbelievably fucking funny.

. . . . . clearly yet another in that long line of manufactured musical groups – groups which have very attractive members and songs with very catchy lyrics and tunes. Relentlessly marketed, such groups make millions for the recording corporations. . . . . .These are not groups which really grow up organically and then start putting out music which eventually catches everyone’s attention – groups like the Beatles or Nirvana…no, these groups are carefully scripted to make a huge impact, sell a very large amount of product, and fade away in a year or two. . . . . the main fact of the group is that it is made up – phony; a mere money-machine for large corporations.”

Umm, Mark, take out the musical references and you’ve just scored a direct hit on your own medium — the right-wing blogosphere. Except for the attractive members, of course.

Not that this dipshit would notice the irony. For him, irony is something his mother does to his shirts before he heads to the basement for the rest of the day. At least on days that he actually gets dressed, that is.

The only answer is for we, the adults, to stand up and say “no”. No, you can’t do this – make your money some other way (perhaps by putting out good music? Just a thought…).

Why does Mark Noonan hate capitalism?

Sorry, but I got confused and stopped at “I was not in full possession of a mature mind… He’s mixing tenses.

Man, I miss the days when right wing loons merely railed against popular music as being satanic, instead of pathetically trying to intellectualize the relative merits of one group v. another (entirely unrelated) group. It’s like Noonan just plugged in the names of some groups he had heard of in passing.

I’ve alway thought that you can very easily glean the level of an individual’s maturity and insight merely by the manner in which he or she thinks about popular culture – music being the most efficient measuring stick because there is so much of it, and surely anyone’s tastes may be accomodated. But this isn’t a matter of taste, per se; it’s a matter of merely having a clue. Do you have a clue as to how day to day society functions or don’t you?

Reminds me of the time when Dan Riehl “argued” with a straight face that the Velevet Underground had no impact on modern popular music – while at the same time linking to the Cowboy Junkies version of “Sweet Jane.”

Yeah, try that one on for size. Obviously neither Riehl nor Noonan have the first clue as to what occurs outside of their deranged blogo-worlds. They’ve taken social retardation to a new level, and made themselves not only “opinion makers,” but credible critics of pop society.

I think it’s really bizarre.

For God’s sake, someone quick hip him to t.A.t.U. and Bratz dolls! He’ll be in his bathroom for weeks doing “research” and we won’t have to listen to him anymore.

At 15, however, I was not in full possession of a mature mind able to easily separate out fact from fantasy

Fast forward 27 years, and we see that nothing has changed…

Wait…didn’t Pam Atlas cover Pussycat dolls in one of her video appearances?

I think there’s a man in that picture.

I was reliant upon adults to understand that there are things they shouldn’t do to an impressionable mind, lest such an immature mind take the message at face value and go out and try to live an impossible, and possibly deadly (in the larger, theological sense of the word), life.

So he would ask his mom if, in the real world, women lounge around in barns wearing only a cowboy hat and spurs? Just in case he went out and killed someone?

Back when Noonan was a young man, we had Prince’s protege group Vanity 6, which probably would have shocked him just as badly were he listening to anything but contemporary Christian at the time. So plus ca change.

So let me get this straight: Mark Noonan is arguing that he should get to decide what music we get to listen to in order to prevent God from killing us all? Ooooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…

Quick. Someone tell Noonan to head over to the Ace O’ Spades HQ and do an intervention to save Ace from imminent death (in the larger, theological sense of the word).

hot looking chicks dressed up in brazen sexuality and singing songs suggestive of a willingness to get horizontal; oh, yeah!

Umm, yeah. I’m still trying to figure out what the downside to this might be…

mikey

These are not groups which really grow up organically and then start putting out music which eventually catches everyone’s attention – groups like the Beatles or Nirvana…no, these groups are carefully scripted to make a huge impact, sell a very large amount of product, and fade away in a year or two. . .

Well, obviously, he’s not familiar with the Pussycat Dolls’ early four-track recordings, which were introspective bedroom-folk with lots of tape loop experimenting mixed in. Or their next phase, which was heavily influenced by Glenn Branca and My Bloody Valentine. Obviously he never saw them back in the early 90’s when they toured in an El Camino, opening for bands like Superchunk and the Jesus Lizard, blowing the minds of the hipster teenagers who were lucky enough to have arrived early.

And he’s completely glossing over their mid-period work with Steve Albini and the critically acclaimed pair of records they made with Jim O’Rourke joining the band as bass player.

“Umm, yeah. I’m still trying to figure out what the downside to this might be…”

Ahh, Mikey, let me help you out.

1. View (partially) unrestrained bosom, possibly lovely.
2. Listen to lyrical implication that possessor of said bosom might, under proper circumstances, place it at your…disposal. So to speak.
3. Impressionable you “… take(s) the message at face value and go out and try to live an impossible, and possibly deadly (in the larger, theological sense of the word), life.”
4. Muslims destroy America.
5. Noonan loses cushy job.
6. Danger to your (somewhat problematical) eternal soul.

Mark just wants to help you out. Really.

Two comments.

First, the Pussycat Dolls are an expression of the free market. Somebody’s buying the music. I guess Noonan is now part of the “command economy” crowd. Funny how the market is the bomb until someone wants to buy something of which he doesn’t approve.

Re: the Monkees, he got it exactly backward. They were mocked at the time as “the Pre-fab Four.” Forty years on their records still sound cool and the roster of songwriters and musicians who worked with them reads like a Who’s Who of modern studio music. With a deep bow to Otto Man, the music of the Monkees is currently held in higher esteem than many of their contemporaries. Not the Dylans and the Beatles, or the Byrds, Cream, or the Beach Boys for sure, but the Loved Ones? Petula Clark? Paul Revere and the Raiders? Tommy Roe? I realize that I have stacked the deck, but I’m only applying Noonan’s own instrument (ewwww, that sounded dirtier than I thought it would). How dare he imply that Mike Nesmith would ever be old-fashioned.

Lord, Noonan’s a dipshit.

These are not groups which really grow up organically and then start putting out music which eventually catches everyone’s attention – groups like the Beatles or Nirvana…no, these groups are carefully scripted to make a huge impact, sell a very large amount of product, and fade away in a year or two.

Does anyone really think that Noonan approved of Nirvana? C’mon, really? And what’s wrong with fading away in a year or two? Disposability is built into the heart of modern capitalism.

there are things they shouldn’t do to an impressionable mind, lest such an immature mind take the message at face value and go out and try to live an impossible, and possibly deadly (in the larger, theological sense of the word), life.

I have no idea what this chump is talking about. *A little lower, honey. Thanks.*

Disposability is built into the heart of modern capitalism.

Oh yeah. But when social conservatism runs into free marketeerism, social consrvatism wins for Noonan every time. Did you see the part where he said that he doesn’t fully believe in free markets because he’s a Catholic? That was the WTFcherry on top of the Holyshitishereallythisfuckingstupid sundae.

From his description, he was the lamest, most soft-headed teenager ever, too. “I needed grown-ups to tell me that not everything that was said in music was 100 percent literal–and I needed them to protect me from any hint of naughtiness!” Christ on a cracker, man, live a little!

Noonan:

[A]s in the world of the hip, “freak” carries a very strong sexual connotation.

Thanks, dude. It took you a while, but better late than never. Tune in next week when Noonan analyzes Rick James’ “Super Freak” and Midnight Star’s “Freakazoid.” Tune in the week after next when Noonan discovers the etymology of the term “rock and roll.”

“Well, obviously, he’s not familiar with the Pussycat Dolls’ early four-track recordings, which were introspective bedroom-folk with lots of tape loop experimenting mixed in. Or their next phase, which was heavily influenced by Glenn Branca and My Bloody Valentine. Obviously he never saw them back in the early 90’s when they toured in an El Camino, opening for bands like Superchunk and the Jesus Lizard, blowing the minds of the hipster teenagers who were lucky enough to have arrived early.

And he’s completely glossing over their mid-period work with Steve Albini and the critically acclaimed pair of records they made with Jim O’Rourke joining the band as bass player.”

Damn. You sure your not thinking of Big Black? Sonic Youth? I can’t believe I missed the Pussycat Dolls’ early work; they sound awesome!

Wait…didn’t Pam Atlas cover Pussycat dolls in one of her video appearances?

Well, if she did, I’ll have to hear about it second hand.

You know………. I want to stop by Altas’ site, have a few laughs, drop a few dollops of snark in the Comments section. But her site is such an HTML clusterfuck that my normally bulletproof Mac locks up tight if I even get near the place.

[…] . . such [women] would be tiresome and boring.” . (PussyCat Dolls foto from here.) (Via Sadly, No!) Posted by Mona @ 12:23 pm, Filed under: Main « « Michael Ledeen on Fools and Liars […]

The funny thing is, the dirty fucking hippies aren’t the ones buying Pussycat Dolls stuff. The big demographic in that one, I’ll bet, is girls under 18.

Wonder what he thinks of that?

Thanks, dude. It took you a while, but better late than never. Tune in next week when Noonan analyzes Rick James’ “Super Freak� and Midnight Star’s “Freakazoid.� Tune in the week after next when Noonan discovers the etymology of the term “rock and roll.�

Tune in next week when Noonan learns that “nut” does not always refer to a large, hard-shelled seed.

…at that age, I was reliant upon adults to understand that there are things they shouldn’t do to an impressionable mind, lest such an immature mind take the message at face value…

Like when Father Flotsky showed him just how easy it was to “earn” a couple of Hershey bars and a Coke.

“Tune in next week when Noonan learns that “nutâ€? does not always refer to a large, hard-shelled seed.”

Don’t even get him started when he hears about the meaning of “happiness is a warm gun.”

For Noonan.

At 15, I bought Poison’s Look What The Cat Dragged In cuz those chicks were hooooot.

Music is as music does. If you like it, it’s good. Sure, I liked hendrix and the airplane and james taylor as much as the next guy, but if you wanted to light up a baracks or a bunker in 1970, the brothers and the hillbillies along with both coasts, it was Tommy James, played loud, with warm beer…

mikey

” hot looking chicks dressed up in brazen sexuality and singing songs suggestive of a willingness to get horizontal”

But not ever, no not ever ever ever with you Mark. And that’s what really stings doesn’t it, they actually have standards. And you don’t measure up.

You’re right, mikey. Tommy James and the Shondells are fantastic.

Don’t say beer, say bull.

How dare he imply that Mike Nesmith would ever be old-fashioned.

Damn straight – check out “Repo Man,” still the best movie made about being a punk in the early 80s, when the hippie 70s were giving way to the Sedated 80s and Reaganomics and neo-theocratic looniness.

Plus, you gotta love any movie that has this line of dialogue: “John Wayne was a fag.”

Otto? Otto Parts?

Why are wing-nuts so horrible at explaining to their own children how vapid and worthless pop culture is? Do they expect the music industry to do it for them?

there are things they shouldn’t do to an impressionable mind, lest such an immature mind take the message at face value
Publishing eliminationist screeds on right-wing web-sites, to pick an example at random.
Now I’m inspired to dress up in brazen sexuality. It will be a change from my usual army-surplus wardrobe.

Tune in next week when Noonan learns that “nut� does not always refer to a large, hard-shelled seed.

No? Mother never told me that the fondness the local boys had for “busting a nut” had not to do with their love of Brazils, but with their love of Brazilians.

And not the Pentecostal type either, apparently, to the detriment of their souls.

JK47: I heard that they moved to Berlin to get away from it all and that they’re working with Eno on a new album; they even got the Germans to haul one of the surviving fragments of the Wall out of a museum so that they’d have something to write songs about.

First things first: where’d that picture up at the top come from, and why hasn’t anybody told me about this before now?

Did he get this panty-wadded over the Spice Girls, too? Where are they now? Wasn’t that 2-3 year shelf-life also?

Feh.

And how does one dress up in sexuality, anyway?

*goes back to fapping*

Y’know, much as I loathe going clubbing and Mark Noonan individually, somehow I think the two combined would be awesome fun. I could take him to onea them hipster girls gone wild parties that have become all there fucking is to do on the LES anymore, fucking gentrification fuckerfuckingfook, and watch him explode.

And jebus fuckberg christ, J. That ace link isn’t even funny. That’s fucking disturbing. Seriously fucking disturbing.
When I see a hot 17 year old I gently say “perv” to myself in my mind and move along.

And how does one dress up in sexuality, anyway?
My attempts at an extreme make-over have convinced me that brazen sexuality is heavy and inconvenient, while wooden sexuality leaves splinters in painful places. The next experiment will involve woolen sexuality.

When I see a hot 17 year old I gently say, “I wonder what her mom looks like” to mysef in my mind and move along.

And jebus fuckberg christ, J. That ace link isn’t even funny. That’s fucking disturbing. Seriously fucking disturbing.

Yes, I agree. But there’s a certain repulsive elegance in Ace’s post. The Washington Post reports on an example of on-line lechery and a family’s efforts to grapple with it. Ace sees the Post article and writes a blog post in which he engages in and with his commenters propagates the very lechery in question.

where’d that picture up at the top come from?
The ladies are standing in what looks like a Star Trek transporter, so I’m guessing that it’s from some episode where the equipment breaks down and won’t beam up the clothing.

I see your point, J, but I still can’t get over how wrong that whole thing is. At this point I’d have no problems believing ace is a date-rapist and future catch a predator bait.
And his commentors, jebus. It’s like driving while black to a racist cop, the way they treat her. Being attractive while female doesn’t make a gal a slut, a future porn star, or interested in some old dude’s lecherous intent.

Nooner is basically saying that children should not be allowed to use their imaginations and that 15 year old teenagers should not think about sex. Good look with that.

Memo to Nooner: when we talk about the ‘reality-based community’, this is what we mean.

That’s what I come here for – the T & A!!! Woooooooooohoooooooo!!!!!!

Several people have already made the point I wanted to – namely that social conservatism is in DIRECT CONFLICT WITH the free market and capitalism.
And usually, social conservatism wins out at the end.

Couple of other slightly related thoughts that this raised (when I stopped laughing, of course) –

1) I knew a “born again” dude at one of my old jobs who had some book about “Rock and Roll” from the Christian standpoint. There was one chapter that insisted that *all* references to “fire” in music were to “hellfire” – no, i am not making that up, they meant it.

2) Why do these conservative types (the unintelligent ones) always think our special Western culture is about to collapse ? One of the many things I have figured out at the (still young ) age of 42 is, that America and its culture (if there is only one) are very resilient, and can survive nearly anything. I have more faith in our longterm survival than these jokers seem to.

Tom Gellhaus,

Actually, the free market wins in the end. Social conservatism kicks and whines and bitches, but ultimately the power of consumer demand rolls over it. Look at the Southern Baptist calls for a “boycott” of Disney and all its subsidiaries. Suddenly the good SBs in Texas realized that this meant they couldn’t watch Monday Night Football anymore (on ABC, at the time a part of the Disney empire). Yuppie Southern Baptists realized that it meant no more trips to the Magic Kingdom. They might have to explain to their toddlers why the kiddies wouldn’t get to kick Mickey in the shins. The “boycott” died a-borning.

The real source of much of the wingnut anger today is the slowly growing realization that they are going under for the third time and that it’s a facet of their own so-called principles that will do them in.

where’d that picture up at the top come from?
The ladies are standing in what looks like a Star Trek transporter, so I’m guessing that it’s from some episode where the equipment breaks down and won’t beam up the clothing.

Looks more like the inside of a shipping container. Perhaps they power down the fembots before they ship them out for the European tour.

First, the Pussycat Dolls are an expression of the free market. Somebody’s buying the music

Hey! I only do it for the album covers!

The ladies are standing in what looks like a Star Trek transporter, so I’m guessing that it’s from some episode where the equipment breaks down and won’t beam up the clothing.

I toldf them they should have let Sulu run that thing instead…