I agree entirely. If all registered Republicans would sign up for Iraq duty, we should be able to field an on-the-ground force approaching 100 million people, requiring perhaps 200 million support staff.

With 100 million troops on the ground, we could ensure that each and every Iraqi alive would have round-the-clock, 24/7 accompaniment by at least 1 US soldier, in 8 hour rotations.

Anything less is surrendering to the Global Caliphatic Jihad.

I’m talking about taking the handcuffs off our troops.
Have they forgotten the safe-word?

Do these people simply not understand the concept of “cause and effect”? Are they willfully stupid? Do they burn their hands EVERY night because hey, just ’cause the stove was hot last night, that doesn’t have any bearing on the status of the stove TONIGHT…

mikey

Carpet bombing rug makers?

I would pay not to find out how Farah gets his hands dirty…

I have always wondered why these people actually think that this course of action actually works. Look, the Soviets did the whole “gloves are off” approach in Afghanistan. They had a “free hand” (lovely bloodless words). No real opposition party, secret police, a gulag system. No adherence to the rule of law. Yet, maybe it is the MSMs fault or something, but I don’t think it turned out all that great for the Bolsheviks.

“I would pay not to find out how Farah gets his hands dirty…”

My guess is he fists his dog…anally.

yes mr. ockham, i think that the only explanation for “carpet bomb the rug makers” is pure racism. unless you can come up with some alleged rug factory that is actually turning out IEDs. i’ve googled and come up with nothing, so that would pretty much flat out be a phrase both felicitous in prose styling and hideous in abject racist scumbaggery of all kinds.

I’m talking about Jack Bauer-style interrogations of captured enemy combatants.

This is the level of numbnuttery we’re dealing with here. I mean, you just cannot reason with people who are this stupid.

Fuck Jack Bauer, how about sending Fonzie over there? That dude can fix a jukebox by just banging on it.

Jack Bauer, John McLean, Superman, Spiderman, Rambo, Batman, Captain American, The Green Hornet, The Green Lantern, The Hulk, The Flash, Wonderwoman, The Bionic Man, Woman and Dog, Gene Augtry, Dale Evans, Trigger, Gentle Ben, Flipper….

Jesus Christ where are these people? I haven’t seen a superhero or TV character in ages! We need help here!! Why won’t they save us from the Islamo-Fascists?

Jack Bauer, John McLean, Superman, Spiderman, Rambo, Batman, Captain American, The Green Hornet, The Green Lantern, The Hulk, The Flash, Wonderwoman, The Bionic Man, Woman and Dog, Gene Augtry, Dale Evans, Trigger, Gentle Ben, Flipper

“Yes, yes send them all! just dont ask any of us Young Republicans to go!”

And, of course, the dependably macho/idiotique trope “getting our hands dirty.” What a fucking poser or, as I sometimes put it, a fuquing poseur.

Tell ya what, sport. Take your hands, go over there, get them dirty, and help out the cause.

And thus do these worthless, swaggering fantasists begin to lay the groundwork for “they made us fight with one hand tied behind our backs.” Self-parodies to the end, every one.

Joseph Farah is a gutless wuss. I’m sick to death of hand-wringing wimps proposing candy-ass, politically correct strategies like torture and carpet bombing. It’s time we showed everyone that we really mean business. If we use a giant inter-galactic tractor beam to pull the Moon into the Persian Gulf, we could completely destroy the entire planet, and thereby ensure the final defeat of Islamo-fascism once and for all.

No more half-measures!

Fuck Jack Bauer, how about sending Fonzie over there? That dude can fix a jukebox by just banging on it.

I’d like to second the recommendation. “Operation Ehhhhhhhhh!” would have that country in tiptop shape within minutes.

Operation Ehhhhhhhhhh! would be great, at least until the Fonz decides to jump a shark. Then it will suck. But the wingers will continue to insist that no, it’s still really a great show.

I think that we call all agree that if Bush went to the microphone and announced that he was appointing Fonzie as the new War Czar in charge of unfucking up Iraq, it would a) make more sense than all of his Iraq policy to date and b) have a greater chance of success than anything else he could propose.

I agree entirely. If all registered Republicans would sign up for Iraq duty, we should be able to field an on-the-ground force approaching 100 million people, requiring perhaps 200 million support staff.

On the ground? We’re not considering dropping them from planes?

And thus do these worthless, swaggering fantasists fascists begin to lay the groundwork for “they made us fight with one hand tied behind our backs.�

Fixed yur typo, MrWonderful.

And to all the Kagans, Kristols, Cheneys, and assorted lackeys from the likes of Fred Hiatt on down to Joseph Farah and further on down to ace o’ playdoh and trolls like Kevin:

Go to hell, you shameless, amoral, shitbags.

’m talking about carpet-bombing the rug makers in Persia.

These would be poor nomads and child labourers. Christ.

You know, after many, many years, I have returned to college. I am taking a US Government class. Tonight, in my first class, one of my fellow students suggested that burning the flag was treason. Another suggested that a good way of dealing with the problem of North Korea would be for the CIA or “special forces” to assasinate Kim Jong Il.

It’s gonna be a long eight weeks.

As Perry F of Jane’s Addiction noted, idiots rule.

Not to be looksist and all, but Farah has a cartoon villain’s moustache. I’m surprised he doesn’t wax and curl the edges and tie his wife over the train tracks.

I’m talking about getting our hands dirty to achieve victory.

our hands are plenty dirty already. and we have achieved the opposite of victory. thanks warmongers

P.S. Aside to the awesome Sadly, No!sians that provided us with instant preview: [s] [/s] works in preview, but not after submit.

Let’s Lettuce try strike.

I’m surprised he doesn’t wax and curl the edges and tie his wife over the train tracks.

How do you know he doesn’t?

Unsaid, but you know he was thinking it “I’m all for getting our hands dirty, as long as it’s somebody else’s hands”.

What a maroon…

Herr Doktor made it funny.

Unfortunately, it’s not a laughing matter.

Thankfully, nobody is listening to these loons-yet.

Turns out we’d used that first one before…

How about “Drips from Farah’s Faucet?” Strike strike strike.

Hey Candy — a suggestion, of behalf of college teachers everywhere: please bitch-slap your ignorant classmates. Uh, verbally, of course.

WorldNetDaily, your source for calls for genocide.
Guess it’s time for a new generation’s Coppola to start filming a retelling of Heart of Darkness on the Tigris.

We have to get Bush.
He has WMD.

Note to the Secret Service; “get” in the sense of impeach. Only in that sense. Please don’t tap my phone, thanks.

http://www.riehlworldview.com/carnivorous_conservative/2007/05/was_upj_behind_.html

Dan mixes up Washington DC with Washington the state. His commenters don’t notice.

Two things, diffbrad. First. Your phone IS tapped. Promise ya. So’s mine. If we ever talk on the phone, they’ll be a bunch of us. Some in cheap suits.

Second. In the new “Heart of apocalypse darkness now” I wanna be the Marlowe/Williard dood. ESPECIALLY the Williard dood.

Course in the desert we can’t be surfing. Gonna have to go with volleyball.

The horror…

mikey

Candy, don’t feel so bad. I recall an English class in which a student suggested that a hard-drinking 19th century coal mining character in a DH Lawrence story should attend AA and psychological counselling. The dipshit got a B-.

We used to know how to do this well

http://www.adamyoshida.com/2006/05/haditha-and-indian-country.html
All we have to do is remember the lessons of the past

Mr. Farah’s moustache is most precisely defined as a dick duster, occaisionally referred to as a cookie duster in polite society.

He mopped his brow and took a long drink of his Red Bull. Finishing it, he tossed it in the wastebasket with the other three empties and immediately ripped open another.

“I’m talking about taking the handcuffs off our troops. I’m talking about Jack Bauer-style interrogations of captured enemy combatants. I’m talking about carpet-bombing the rug makers in Persia who are manufacturing the explosive devices killing out troops. I’m talking about getting our hands dirty to achieve victory”, he said. The spittle was flying now, in long white foamy strands.

I got up from the chair behind the coffee table and moved subtly toward the door. But he was just getting cranked up. “Then we shut down the newspapers and all the TV outlets except Fox, and we round up liberals and put them in camps. Oh yeah”, he screamed, “we know who they are”.

“Then we suspend civil liberties, declare Martial Law and declare war on EVERY FUCKING COUNTRY ON THE GODDAM PANSY-ASS FAG PLANET!!!”

“You’re mad”, I said, easing my hand toward the .22 pen gun hidden behind my handkerchief. “You want endless war, for no purpose but for endless war” I said.

“That’s where you’re wrong, my friend” he ranted. “There is a method to my so-called ‘madness’. There is a reason, and a goal. Here, let me show you”. And with that he turned around and gestured towared a large wall-size map.

I’ll admit. I WAS curious. And I’m somewhat disappointed that I’ll never know. But it was the best opportunity I was likely to get. I eased the pen gun out of it’s concealment, and with two silent strides was directly behind him.

“China is here…”, he began, as I grabbed his hair, pulled his head back and fired the pen gun underneath his mastoid bone. He folded and died within seconds. I wiped my hands on one of the throw pillows on the sofa and eased out the door. My work was done. But there was always more to come…

mikey

I guess Roy can go sit down now. I’ll take it from here…

mikey

Candy, I’ve sat in a poli sci class that had a student argue that Iraq was a good war, it just wasn’t sold properly. He argued that the US (and the west) should have just said they were going in to get the oil and everything would have been fine.

To be fair, there was another student in the class who thought we could cut greenhouse gas emissions by closing nuclear plants. Needless to say, that seminar was not one I looked forward to.

I dun get it.

“Us inflicting mass civilian casualties, torturing random suspects, carpet bombing infrastructure = GOOD”

“Them inflicting mass civilian casualties, torturing people, setting up hundreds of bombs = EVIL GODDAMN BARBARIAN RAGHEAD MOTHERFUCKERS”

It saps my will to live. It really does.

JK47 said, (0:18)

“Fuck Jack Bauer, how about sending Fonzie over there? That dude can fix a jukebox by just banging on it.”

Aaaaayyy! The Fonz doesn’t DO foreign occupations without a clear timetable for withdrawal!

Only one editorial comment to make, roy/mikey. Since Cheney is clearly Kurtz here, I’d suggest the death should be by some sort of electric shock effing with his pacemaker. Maybe a pen sized TASER, instead.

Fuck Jack Bauer, how about sending Fonzie over there? That dude can fix a jukebox by just banging on it.

had to see this again.

“I’m talking about carpet-bombing the rug makers in Persia.”

These would be poor nomads and child labourers. Christ.

Well, yeah — people who can’t fight back. The perfect enemy, if you’re a Reichtard warpr0ner like Farah.

Except Farah actually thinks he’s being “cute”, because he’s also a racist who’d like to believe Iran is full of wily-but-primitive untermenschen who need to be “made an example of” so that soft-handed cumsacks like Farah can strut around their gated communities playing Jack Bauer. Of course, if the guy behind the counter at the convenience store where Joe buys his favorite magazines were to so much as raise his voice while telling him not to smudge up the centerfold, again, Farah would probably wet his pants. And then try to report the poor clerk to the NSA for “threatening a patriotic American”, if only they would let him do so anonymously.

Ah yes, bombing. It is worth noting that the weight of bombs dropped by America on Vietnam was greater than the weight of all the bombs dropped by all the combatants in WWII. And look how well Vietnam turned out.

Shorter Farah, edited for clarity, all words his:

“I’m talking … I’m talking … I’m talking … I’m talking…”

Either get your ass to a recruiting station NOW, or stop talking.

Hey, happy Memorial Day ending, friends. We had a big barbecue/party at the house on Monday, and heard an interesting story from neighbors and friends.

We live in an eclectic rural comunity outside LA that has a history of being progressive, independent, liberal, and eccentric.

A local guy who’s lived here for decades, used to run an organic farmer’s market, homeschooled his kids, volunteered for local organizations. He’s a property owner, but is still a Canadian citizen. He got a phone call from the FBI recently. “Are you John Michael Smith?”

“No, I’m John Frederick Smith.”

“Is your social security number XXX XX XXXX?”

“Yes”

“Well, we have a warrant for your arrest. You can come down here and turn yourself in, or we’ll come out there and arrest you, but it’ll be better for you if you come down voluntarily.”

Well, a few more questions and it was obvious that it was a case of identity theft, and he wasnt’ the guy they wanted. So, thinking all he needed was to clear all this up, he gathered up some documetns and went down to the feds, and…….

They threw him in the federal slammer. For NINE DAYS!!

No phone call to a lawyer – he’s a foreign national! Finally his family got counsel to him, and finally his lawyer got the feds to admit that it was another guy they were after. So they let him go. Like, hey, whatever. We fucked up. Get outa here. Oh, apologize? Who are you kidding?

Wake up, people! This is what these motherfuckers are turning our country into!

Fanáticos de los Gigantes,

Lo siento.

“I’m talking about carpet-bombing the rug makers in Persia.�

These would be poor nomads and child labourers. Christ.

It’s even worse than that. It’s the poor nomads and child laborers from before 1935!

“carpet-bombing the rug makers…”

C’mon, cut the poor guy some slack. He worked on that metaphor for ages until he got it right. Now if he could just find the right context for heaving bosom…

And what’s wrong with a little getting your hands dirty?

Say no more, say no more!

Wait let me try that comment about getting your hands dirty again.

I don’t understand why we’re settling for half-measures like “carpet bombing” and “torture”.

We should have begun our foray into the mid east four years ago by helping the Israelis build fallout shelters for their population while our troops and those of Blackwater were softening up the Iraqi population. If we’d done that, we could now pull out our troops and mercenaries and clean up the entire region with nuclear weapons.

I think this would have been a win/win for us, especially considering the profits to be made from reconstruction. I’d be willing to bet oil would now be above $200 a barrel. It would also give us a place to put all the people from the island countries that will soon need a place to migrate to as their countries become submerged.

It’s true that we’d be hard pressed to find another enemy to continue the perpetual war, but it is probable that China would be amenable to cutting a deal so they could continue to own our debt while posing as our arch-enemy. And there would still be North Korea to fall back on.

Wow, what a terrified little bigot.

re: John Frederick Smith’s ordeal with the FBI; maybe he should come home to Canuckistan and file a law suit from here.

Apparently – no not apparently… Actually, you can enter the US legally (as a Canadian citizen), get picked up on a whim by US authorities and shipped to Syria and be tortured for years without anyone doing a thing to help you, including your own country. It’s astounding what’s going on.

I’m truly afraid to visit the United States. If the border guard doesn’t like my last name or my hair colour he can detain me indefinitely. No thanks.

(The last time I tried to cross into Seattle with a friend, the guard turned us away because my friend used her maiden name and she’s married and that offended the guard who called her and me repulsive feminists for not respecting our husbands. And I’m not even married. And all we wanted to do was go shopping.)

[…] Sadly, No! picked up an interesting post from Joseph Farah where the World Net Daily proprietor called for more violence in Iraq. I’m not talking about a little “surgeâ€? in military forces in Baghdad, mind you. I’m talking about taking the handcuffs off our troops. I’m talking about Jack Bauer-style interrogations of captured enemy combatants. I’m talking about carpet-bombing the rug makers in Persia who are manufacturing the explosive devices killing out troops. I’m talking about getting our hands dirty to achieve victory. […]

The evil ideology is Islamo-fascism – the word none dare utter for the sake of political correctness.

None dare utter it! I know I don’t read it on the innertubes more than 400-500 times a week. (I really have to find a better class of internet friends.)

Mr. Foamy: I’m talking about Jack Bauer-style interrogations of captured enemy combatants…

So, if I understand the reference to teevee-fiction character “Jack Bauer” correctly, what this mustachioed military strategist Farah is suggesting works like this:

Step one. U.S. Army soldiers on patrol seize an Iraqi man they suspect is working for the insurgency.

Step two, they put him in a first-class seat on an airliner bound for Hollywood, California, U.S.A.

Step three, the man from the Actor’s Union makes sure the suspected terrorist has his union dues paid in full.

Step four, a script-writer hands him a typed-out script, so the suspected terrorist can learn his lines. (This step might be a bit tricky, because our thoroughly confused Iraqi insurgent probably neither speaks English nor reads it. Perhaps the screen-writer can hire an Arabic speaker to transliterate the insurgent’s lines into phonetic Arabic text. But I fear it might be difficult for him to deliver those lines with proper tone and emphasis. Suppose the captive insurgent, misunderstanding the context, smiles and winks while mouthing out “Arrgh! The agony! Stop, stop, I’ll tell you anything you want!” From the cinema artiste’s point of view, that obviously won’t do. I suspect Professor Farah maybe needs to tweak this part a bit.)

Step five, the make-up person and the wardrobe person carefully and delicately prepare the suspected terrorist so he’ll present the proper appearance to the video camera.

Step six, we bring him and Kiefer Sutherland and whatever other actors are necessary onto the well-lit studio set. And it’s “Roll ’em!”

Step seven, after enough takes of a dramatic fictional scene to satisfy the director, the terrorist is led back to his trailer, where he unwinds from his hard day’s work with vodka, Percocets and cocaine.

Step eight: Victory!

Shorter Joseph Farah:

*fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap*

*Step eight: Mission Accomplished!

come on now

Sadly, it’s been so long since Americans have dealt with a land war in our country, that people feel entitled to make all sorts of dark suggestions. The Facists among us need not worry their authoritarian minds (well, ids anyway)
Torture is already happening, chemical weapons…check(Falujah, white phosphorous), Mercenaries(see blackwater) already operate with “hands free”.These things are the reason the US is going to lose, not the lack of them.
The 750 or so military bases around the world we run, provide all the resentment that’s needed. No one needs to hate the US for freedom, it’s military chest thumping and modern-day colonialism that’s hated.

The Liztards are getting stupider and nastier by the second: http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=25685_Sullivan-_US_Nazis_Whats_the_Difference#comments

Barf.

On the ground? We’re not considering dropping them from planes?

“As God as my witness, I thought Republicans could fly…”

Who is this gnat? He spews out garbage as if it were American Pie, inveighs against everything this country used to stand for, and struts and minces like a little Caligula quickly morphing into a braying horse’s ass.

The irony is lost on dunces like him that by calling for barbarism and lawless mayhem, torture and slaughter, they have already separated themselves from the very judaeo-christian principles they claim to be defending.

Sheeesh!

#

Robert Green said,

May 30, 2007 at 0:17

yes mr. ockham, i think that the only explanation for “carpet bomb the rug makers� is pure racism. unless you can come up with some alleged rug factory that is actually turning out IEDs. i’ve googled and come up with nothing, so that would pretty much flat out be a phrase both felicitous in prose styling and hideous in abject racist scumbaggery of all kinds.

hear, hear , couldn’t of been put better.

W. Kiernan, you’re leaving out the step where he goes to a Pink vodka party at Teddy’s and parties with Lindsey Lohan till 4 a.m. But other than that, I think you’re spot on.

I hope that after we finish carpetbombing Persia we go after Prussia.

Used to be, these dorkheads were segregated from civilized society and we didn’t have to hear their half-baked ramblings, unless we happened to frequent the same two-bit beer joint they lived in. Now, thanks to the internet, they’re everywhere, loud and stupid as ever, but with a huge international platform bringing them and their very small minds into our living rooms. Nasty business. I know, I know, we don’t have to read their crap, but too many folks do and then spend time responding to it (oops, that would be me). This is what a crumbling empire looks like, as they say.

On the ground? We’re not considering dropping them from planes?

“As God as my witness, I thought Republicans could fly…�

nice. and if you put a bunch of Republicans in a store window and a hot plate under their little feet, they do a dance on the hour.

Roy Batty, I think your termination date is approaching, you’re starting to howl.

I enjoyed all the responses here very much, very funny crew. too bad about, well, the world. everytime i read a comment like Farah’s or the 10s of millions of people like him I’m reminded that Bush is actually a centrist. we are so boned.

Lesley said,
May 30, 2007 at 10:32

My buddy is a US citizen, every…and I mean EVERY time he drives back from a trip to Canada he is stopped by US customs and is strip-searched and his body cavities inspected.

Welcome!

p.s. Stay away from the US, bad crazies are in power and they have no problem with harassing/killing their own citizens, much less people from other countries. The US has become the world’s largest asylum.

http://www.lewrockwell.com/anderson/anderson32.html

http://www.commondreams.org/headlines01/0602-02.htm

I miss the simpler times, when wingnuts just wanted Superman to beat up the Commies.

“I’m talking about carpet-bombing the rug makers in Persia.�
These would be poor nomads and child labourers. Christ.
It’s even worse than that. It’s the poor nomads and child laborers from before 1935.

Thank you for pointing that out. I thought that looked a little…..odd.

Fuck this stupid bozo. I don’t want a fucking fictional character like fucking Jack Wanker Bauer…gimme the real deal, say, Roberto D’Aubuisson.

Let us “Carpet Bomb” the “Rug Makers” A joke! A joke! Get it? Carpet = rug! such wit!

Joseph Farah makes Joseph Stalin look like the worlds greatest humanitarian. Joseph Farah never met anything he did have a compulsion to kill. The guy belongs in a mental hospital … which is why he is an ideal conservative republican activist. He is the human stain.

“I’m talking about carpet-bombing the rug makers in Persia who are manufacturing the explosive devices killing out troops. I’m talking about getting our hands dirty to achieve victory.”

I think it was at about this point that Peter Sellars’s gloved right hand involuntarily shot outward in the Nazi salute . . .

Oh, wait, it’s NOT from the screenplay from Dr. Strangelove?

My bad.

“As God as my witness, I thought Republicans could fly…�

Thanx for the larf, I needed it!

Like the birds in that original quote, Farah & his buds have ‘evolved’ from wiley prehistoric reptiloids into huge, soft, noisy protein convertors. Lucky for them, the Roves of the world are happy to provide factory farms, I mean gated communities, where they can spend their days eating, squawking, and polluting the local water table. And every November…

“Carpet bomb the rug makers”?
I’m floored!

I’m talking about carpet-bombing the rug makers in Persia who are manufacturing the explosive devices killing out troops. I’m talking about getting our hands dirty to achieve victory.

I guess we’re not “liberating” them in the regular sense anymore, eh?