Make a Wish, Assrocket!
Yay! It came true!
So Powerline turned 5 today. Dean Barnett gushes: “… John, Paul, and Scott pioneered a new form of journalism.”
Not to be outdone, Hugh Hewitt commenter Doc has this to say:
Powerliners are Modern Day Ben Franklins
The Powerline Guys are not Bloggers, the coined term for People who have a Web Log. They remind me of the Franklin Brothers, James and his apprentice brother Benjamin(under the pseudonym Silence Dogood) who were the Founders of The New England Courant. This was truly the first Colonial Paper after Benjamin Harris’ “Publick Occurrences Both Forreign and Domestick”, was suppressed in 1690 after only one issue under a 1662 Massachusetts law that forbade printing without a license. This is exactly what the Liberals in Congress, Dinosaur Networks and Paper Media Giants want to do to New Media types like the Three Scholars of Powerline. Dean Barnett is right, Blogging does not adequately describe this Trio of Renaissance Franklinesque men. Powerline is New Media’s “Pennsylvania Gazette”, the News Paper Benjamin Franklin took over and transformed into an the Journalistic Catalyst that helped the Colonies unite against the Crown and gave voice to the quest for freedom from Government and provided a vessel that helped create our system of Government by and for the People which the old guard would like to limit like the Crown did with the First Newspaper killed after its first Publication. Ben Franklin could not be stopped and nether this Trio of smart, well informed, capable and fearless Musketeers of New Media whose Journalistic lines are giving Powder back to us the American People..Congratulations and Thank you all for your hard work and inspiration to us “web loggers” to write and contribute to what Hugh Hewitt succinctly describes the New Information Reformation. Felicitations and continued success and praise for your amazing work which is much more in line and reminiscent of American Journalistic Tradition founded by the great Ben Franklin in contrast to that of the Old Media and its minions……
Kudos and Felicitations..Doc! Gobsmacking putridity does not adequately describe the Unlettered Slab of sycophantic doggerel You have penned! The laughable Notion that John Hinderaker et. al. would NOT have been Tories had they dwelled in Boston circa 1690…………………fills My Bodkins with Mirthful Spasms of Involuntary Flatulence!
Truly, Sir……….You are a fearless Assketeer of New Media!
Yeah, Butt Propulsion Labs is just like Ben Franklin, except for the part where he was an incredible genius who invented all kinds of shit, helped write the Constitution, got the French to support us in the Revolutionary war, discovered electricity and the Gulf Stream, and basically accomplished more than anyone of his generation except for maybe Thomas Jefferson, and they are a bunch of douchebags with a blog.
Please don’t lump those guys in with the Tories. There is a high probability that the world would’ve been a much better place for Indians, and blacks, had the revolutionaries lost the war. The revolution was mostly about a bunch of rich slaveholders who didn’t want to pay their taxes. Not who does that sound like?
I for one do not celebrate on July 4th, but prefer to party on July 14th.
So what was more laughable, the comparison of Mark Steyn to Mark Twain, or the Powerline tools to Ben Franklin?
The comparison of George W. Bush to a good president?
This is exactly what the Liberalf in Congreff, Dinosaur Networkf and Paper Media Giantf want to do to New Media typef like the Three Scholarf of Powerline.
Fixed.
Let me be the first to accuse the commenter of satire. Or sabotage. Or sabotire.
Oh, lookie, Unicode has a proper printer’s long-s. Let’s see what it looks like in preview:
This is exactly what the Liberalſ in Congreſſ, Dinosaur Networkſ and Paper Media Giantſ want to do to New Media typeſ like the Three Scholarſ of Powerline.
I’m sure that’s what “Doc” intended.
“a new form of journalism”
Translation from ancient High Wingnut: “journalism that really isn’t journalism but still manages never to be right about anything”
“Ben Franklin could not be stopped and nether this Trio of smart, well informed, capable and fearless Musketeers of New Media whose Journalistic lines are giving Powder back to us the American People..”
“…that among these Powders are Johnson & Johnson Baby Powder, to keep the Ass of the Rocket maintaining of its Baby-Soft Condition, as well as Ammen’s Foot Powder, to aid Us in our Quest to Vanquish the Scourge of Athlete’s Foot, and Gold Bond Medicated Powder, named for the very Gold Bonds that underwrote the War of Independence with which we overthrew the Government and started a Government guaranteeing Powder to the People.”
….the News Paper Benjamin Franklin took over and transformed into an the Journalistic Catalyst…
Never mind the mind-numbingly hideous run-on sentence; Ben Franklin is weeping right now.
OMFG!! A live Preview?!?!?!? Did you feel that? This country just turned a corner!
Ben Franklin could not be stopped and nether this Trio of smart, well informed, capable and fearless Musketeers of New Media whose Journalistic lines are giving Powder back to us the American People…
Actually, I get the “Diftinct Impreffion” he means the kind of Powder favored by wet-behind-the-ears Wall Street MBAs and George W. Bush.
Oh, lookie, Unicode has a proper printer’s long-s. Let’s see what it looks like in preview:
Ah, but the long-s is never used at the end of words. So one can say ‘Powerline Å¿ucks donkeys’.
And that atrocious attempt to mimic eighteenth-century prose suggests that if you’re not Thomas Pynchon, you can’t do it. So don’t.
Curses! After promising my return for months, you have rendered me obsolete!
Now I am forever banished, my spouse CAPTCHA also out of work, our little radio buttons without any visible means of support.
I should have known how heartless you all were by your rampant looksism!
the Three Scholars of Powerline
I don’t think they realize that normal people would view this as a pejorative term.
And that atrocious attempt to mimic eighteenth-century prose suggests that if you’re not Thomas Pynchon, you can’t do it. So don’t.
Four words:
John Barth. Sotweed Factor.
Well, actually there are some differences between the Powerline bloggers and Ben Franklin.
Ben wasn’t a liar and fascist who hated America and despised her people while actively working toward establishing a dictatorship.
And the Powerline thugs are all of those things.
So that’s kind of different I guess.
Of course those people would have been Tories. To their way of thinking, the Continentals were terrorists and secular jihadists.
And if you know your history, you know that the Franklins used that paper to talk quite a bit of trash about organized religion (and less than 3 decades after the Salem Witch Trials no less!). The purpose of the paper was once described as, “to abuse the ministers of religion in a manner which was intolerable”, which ended up with both Franklin brothers being put on trial, Ben getting off with a slap on the wrist, whereas his brother spent a month in jail for refusing to name who wrote the anti-religious pieces (which was penned by Ben of course).
Yup, sounds like Powerline to me.
Two words on Ben Franklin:
THE HELLFIRE CLUB
Boom chakka bow bow.
“New Information Reformation” thats succinctly ? ffs
These guys couldn’t make fire if they rubbed two matchsticks together.
Shorter Dean Barnett:
“Hey Guys at Powerline, do you want a blowjob? I swallow”!
Hinderaker celebrates Powerline’s fifth anniversary in fine style, with a Miss Universe post. The icing on the New Information Reformation cake: he called it! Ben Frankllin’s cool and all, but I don’t remember Poor Richard predicting any beauty pageant winners.
John Barth. Sotweed Factor.
Get outta here. That’s one fucking funny book and more 1001 Nights than Pynchon by far.
John Barth. Sotweed Factor.
Get outta here. That’s one fucking funny book and more 1001 Nights than Pynchon by far.
Sometimes I wonder if you guys just do shit like this to confuse me. It’s like a whole ‘nother language…
mikey
Sometimes I wonder if you guys just do shit like this to confuse me. It’s like a whole ‘nother language…
It’s no more sophisticated than politics. Look:
“Whore!” shouted the first.
“Bas-cul” retorted the other.
“Frisker!”
“Consoeur!”
“Trull!”
“Friquenelle!”
“Sow!”
“Usagére!”
“Bawd!”
“Vigére!”
“Strawgirl!”
“Sérane!”
“Tumbler!”
“Poupinette!”
“Mattressback!”
“Brimballeuse!”
“Nannygoat!”
“Chouette!”
“Windowgirl!”
And so on for another three pages.
Hey, darkbackward. From the wiki link about the Hellfire Club:
Though over 60 and fabulously corpulent
Now THERE’s a characterization!
I remember reading the back of a VHS tape long ago for A Touch of Evil. The sellers wanted to inspire people to buy the thing with a Gene Shalit blurb (I think) that contained the phrase “the whale-like Mr. Welles.”
Needless to say that tape was waddling off the shelves like a bloated sow.
I’m stealing “Assketeer”. Just so you know.
Ben Franklin would have feared that I would have taken his job. Thus, he would hate me and want to treat me like a no-good spic. Just like Powerline.
Senior Jeffe would never stupe to takin’ yur yob, he would outsores it to Ace o’ (2)bacon+playdoh.
Two bags of Cheetosâ„¢ and my mom’s basement!
ZERO SHAME…
Deperate fucks grasping for ANY kind of Legitimacy beyond “Republican Hacks”.
Franklin didn’t create his newspapers to be mouthpieces for the powers that be you fucking weasels.
” There is a high probability that the world would’ve been a much better place for Indians, and blacks, had the revolutionaries lost the war. The revolution was mostly about a bunch of rich slaveholders who didn’t want to pay their taxes. Not who does that sound like?”
Yeah, because the British treatment of Native peoples in Africa and Australia is a model to the world.
Why not Compare Falwell to More or Luther( theoriginal not MLK I doubt even Hewitt is that hubristic) while you’re at it Hugh.
Ginger Yellow’s law: the rationality evinced by a 21st century text is inversely proportional to the square of the number of spurious capital letters.
“The Three Scholars of Powerline”…?
Wow. I can only take that as satire, or that the writer has never experienced a good college (or high school) class.
Socraticsilence- Think Canada.
Yeah, because the British treatment of Native peoples in Africa and Australia is a model to the world.
But that only began after the grip loosened on the secessionist American colonies. Simon Schama has a good discussion on how Britain got the ‘wrong empire’ as a consequence on re-focusing attention in Africa and Asia.
I’m generally not a fan of counterfactual history (in part because it boosts Niall Ferguson’s ego, and that’s big enough) and I don’t think direct rule or ‘taxation and representation’ would have been sustainable, but it’s not too far-fetched to imagine a war of independence fought under the same manifesto as the Confederate states 90 years later, had the British Americans been somewhat less, um, enlightened.
Benjamin Franklin spent most of his adult life in London as a loyal agent of the crown; before he was hauled in front a secret tribunal he was a craven careerist. A Tory converted to American patriotism by scandalous legal proceedings aimed at himself?
Did he mean that similarity?