The “G” in “G.O.P.” Stands For “Guh-HYUCK!”
Apparently feeling a little giddy after the three-day weekend, the Corner Boys over at NRO are really pulling out the stops today. First of all, respected journalist Michael Ledeen files this report based on a letter from a friend of a friend of a reader who lives in Canada — so you wouldn’t know her — who swears that Richard Gere put a gerbil in his hiney in Texas, angels come down from heaven and hand out free caramels at the funerals of soldiers. I live in Texas and can easily refute the piece’s title (“Texas is a Better Place,” which is really only true if you are an executioner), but the really curious part of it is this line from the relentlessly truthful Ledeen:
In many places around the country, members of the Sheehan-Reid-Obama-Clinton cult disrupt military funerals, but I doubt they would attempt to perform their disgusting ritual in a fine place as described here.
Huh! Well, I certainly can’t remember Cindy Sheehan, Harry Reid, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton or any other leading liberals or Democrats disrupting a military funeral, but unfortunately there’s no way to check on…
[Zeerp] “Hello, dum-dums.�
Hey, it’s the Great Gazoogle! Say, I wonder if he could help us find out who’s disrupting military funerals.
Let’s see…the first thing that comes up when you search for ‘disrupt military funeral’ is this, and I’m sure even a bag of crap like Michael Ledeen wouldn’t consider Fred Phelps a member of the Sheehan-Reid-Obama-Clinton cult. Second hit is also Fred Phelps. Third hit? Fred Phelps. The fourth through eight hundredth hits also all appear to be about Fred Phelps, and the only reference I can find to leading Democrats is when several of them got together to propose legislation that would ban protests at military funerals. There are a few pieces that make mention of The Patriot Guard, a group of Gathering of Eagles types called together to battle a non-existent threat. Google doesn’t seem to have much to say about actual anti-war protestors actually disrupting actual funerals, but that’s probably because the Patriot Guard are doing such a great job, like this magic rock I have that prevents tiger attacks. The Moonie Times carried a story about a military funeral being disrupted by the Mexican military in Mexico, but I’m not sure how much of that we can blame on Harry Reid, either. So, we’re left with only a few possibilities:
1. There are all kinds of disruptive protests of military funerals being planned by Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, but we never hear about them because of the liberal media.
2. Michael Ledeen’s fact-checking service, which consists of Michael Ledeen and the dude who told him Khameini was dead, thinks that Fred Phelps is actually a hardcore liberal activist.
3. Ledeen is just making shit up.
But before we can guess which is the right answer, NRO hits us with this bunker-buster from Stanley “Mistah” Kurtz:
Between Ferguson, Steyn, O’Rourke, Brooks, Derb, and Goldberg, maybe we should start calling ourselves the “funny party.”
MAN! Can I ever get behind this! The G.O.P.? The party of the Iraq War, the party that forgot New Orleans ever existed, the hey-poor-people-get-bent-party? No more! Now they are…The Funny Party! They’re the wacky, zany, happy-go-lucky party of racism, religious intolerance, and torture! Hey, remember when Mark Steyn advocated ethnic cleansing? HILARIOUS! And when David Brooks started lying about things and liked it so much that he just kept on doing it, like, forever? THAT CRACKED ME UP! Or, who can forget when John Derbyshire called British Marines and American murder victims cowards? SO FUNNY! And when Jonah Goldberg said…well, basically, everything Johah Goldberg has ever said, but especially, let’s say, when he bet Juan Cole that the Iraq War would be totally awesome and then tried to weasel out of it by claiming a false nobility when it was obvious to anyone on the planet how completely full of shit he was?
Laugh? I thought I’d die.
EDIT: Hanks! to zadig — the Man That Walks Like a Doctrine has issued a semi-correction, which both minimizes the colossally huge nature of his error (which could have been checked with five seconds of Googling) and claims a completely unrelated act by the people he slandered as mitigatory. In other words: “I was mistaken about our enemies in WWII, who it turns out were Nazis and not Canadians. However, the Canadians did harbor a lot of Englishmen during the Revolutionary War.”
We live in Teh Age of Lame. In the 60’s, wingers would at least take the time to dress up like hippees and do outrageous things that would give the cops an excuse to bash heads (as if an excuse were needed). Now they just make it up on the internets; but of course their peculiar version of history, repeated ad nauseum by the Limbaughs and O’Briens of the world, eventually will prevail in the public consciousness, just as the myth of returning Vietnam Vets getting spit on in airports has prevailed.
Laugh? I nearly started.
Well, y’know that whole “grownups are in charge now” thing? After Iraq, Katrina, Cunningham, Ney, Abramoff, the ongoing congressional investigations that are so pervasive that the “cleanest” Republican they can find to put on the Appropriations Committee was arrested while a crack addict prostitute was blowing him, the U.S. attorneys, the GSA political scandal, and God knows what else, it’s time for what the marketing guys like to call a “rebranding.”
Thus, the “funny party.” Taking all of that bad shit referred to above and just saying “hey, we were just kidding about being competent at government. Really! I just flew in from Washington and boy are my arms tired. Try the veal.”
Honestly, could it be any worse than what we have right now? I don’t think so. Right now, a ouija board and a magic 8-ball have a better chance of getting policy right than does the Bush Administration. So why bother even trying? It’ll only make things worse.
I vote for comedy. We may be going to hell in a handbasket, but we might as well laugh along the way.
And since Kevin always seems to disappear whenever I ask why he is not in Iraq, here is a preemptive shhhh.
Kevin, why aren’t you in Iraq, fighting the “war” you claim to believe in so strongtly? They really need you now.
Fred Phelps still goes around calling himself a Democrat, but that’s because he’s so insanely conservative that he refuses “to change just because his party has.”
So I guess he is a member of the “Sheehan-Reid-Obama-Clinton cult” after all.
Heh. Snort. Yo Kurtz, the funny party’s over here.
Republicans do “comedy” about as well as they do “government” and “journalism”.
Funny ‘ha-ha’, or funny ‘peculiar’?
Republicans can do “comedy” about as well as they do “government” and “journalism”.
Just ask Chris Muir, Michael Brown, and Michael Ledeen!
Kevin, why aren’t you in Iraq, fighting the “war� you claim to believe in so strongtly? They really need you now.
Nope. Don’t think so. You want that chronic whiner/serial liar in YOUR squad? Gawd. He’d always be trying to get out of rolling out, of carrying a 240B belt, he’d complain about a rash, or scraped knees. That whiny little piece of shit wouldn’t last two days in Anbar. If he was in my squad I’d pick up an AK and shoot him in the ass so he could go home and bother some other folks…
mikey
Alternately;
“Is that as in ‘funny farm’?”
Whoops! Accidentally posted twice. Sorry.
i think this post gets it wrong, satire-wise. the question isn’t whether or not these people are douchebags (MY GOD, THEY ARE FULL OF DOUCHE), or whether or not they are wrong about stuff (THEY ARE WRONG LIKE ICE IS COLD). the question is simple–are they funny?
i remember an o’rourke piece from rolling stone in the eighties about protesters in s. korea. IIRC, it was very funny. since then, not so much. david brooks is where funny goes when it is really really sick. he’s like a hospice for funny, as the funny shows up already ailing only to die alone in its bed. mark steyn’s next funny joke will be his first. derb is funny if you think he is joking about wanting to fuck 11 year old girls–IMO he is deadly serious. so that isn’t very funny. Goldberg is like steyn and brooks. there is no goldberg hospice, just a morgue where jokes and comedy show up already blue and stiff from rigor mortis.
i’m sure links could be provided by, oh, say, an HTML Mencken type, with jokes linked and their self-evident lameness to be picked apart, Fisked, if you will (h/t to every right wing moron on the internet).
Oh yeah? Just wait until they invent ConservaGoogle – a conservative search engine that bypasses the far-leftist, islamofascist coddling, homosexualagenda promoting, objective & verifiable fact-based liberal bias of CommieGoogle and directs you straight to ConservaReality- and ConservaTruth- based information.
Now, I’m off to Google the Eagle.
“Is that as in ‘funny farm’?�
Exactly. When I see ‘G.O.P’ and ‘funny’ together, I don’t think hi-LARIOUS! I think helmets and straitjackets.
Ledeen has posted a correction-with-a-dig here.
Is there an official name for a correction that says “well, I was wrong, but the people I slandered are still really bad people who would have done what I mistakenly said they did.”? Something like an incorrection, or a correctroll?
Mistah Kurtz, he dumb.
Ledeen’s been off form ever since he died.
(As for the Patriot Guard, it’s unfair to compare them to the Plauge of Seagulls. They’re basically just ‘barricade out the Phelpses’ bikers, and they’re not partisan: “We don’t care what you ride, what your political views are, or whether you’re a “hawk” or a “dove”…. The only prerequisite is Respect.”)
Perhaps they mean funny as in “Does this smell funny to you?”
Ledeen has posted a correction-with-a-dig here.
Wow, Cindy Sheehan is only as bad as Fred Phelps? I’d thought she was worse than Hitler.
Ditto to ahem’s comment on the Patriot Guard. They only show up when Phelps has specifically stated he’ll be protesting at a funeral, and their MO so far has been to get between Phelps and the family and gun their engines whenever Phelps crew start shouting their disrespectful BS. Basically, they are there to drown out Phelp’s hateful shit so the family doesn’t have to hear it.
I believe the founding group was predominately veterans, but I don’t know what the make-up is now.
Does this blog suck? Sadly, no.
In the 60’s, wingers would at least take the time to dress up like hippees and do outrageous things that would give the cops an excuse to bash heads (as if an excuse were needed).
In all fairness, today some infiltrate anti-globalization and anti-Iraq War rallies dressed as anarchists with their faces covered up and commit acts of vandalism along the protest routes. Which gives cops an excuse to bash heads.
It’s very cute.
zadig, I believe the word you’re looking for is disincorrection.
So … he has the correction on a separate page, but the orginal slander remains in the unchanged article?
Yeah, he’s a funny one, all right.
“Mistah Kurtz–he dead.
A penny for the old guy.”
“members of the Sheehan-Reid-Obama-Clinton cult…”
Hey, is that peckerwood dissing my cult? He better not be dissing my cult, or he’ll have to answer to…my cult!
” Michael Ledeen’s fact-checking service”
Hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahha!
The Plague of Seagulls, now that’s funny.
Gotta run.
For people like Ledeen, assumptions that the Democrats *must* be protesting military funerals… for some reason, go right in hand with the assumption that a hippie, any hippie, ever actually spat on a Vietnam veteran returning home from the… thing in Vietnam.
(Are we allowed to call that a war yet, or are there still doofs that need to believe we haven’t lost *any* wars, ever, even while they blame us leftists for losing the ‘Nam?)
You didn’t use that lefty search engine Google, did you? Because Google hates America.
A bit off topic, but this reminded me of the David Cross vs Larry the Cable Guy Feud.
Once again, the boys at The Corner are, collectively, your bitch.
Careful Kristopher. The fucking gitrdon moron is on comedy central now and dc ain’t. If it reminds you of that feud, it’s cause Ledeen, like larry, is also only talented at slurping up the bodily fluids of those who control his career and advancement, whereas SN! will end up a slightly embittered niche figure after railing at HBO for killing the best sketchy comedy show in american history. Or something.
What I want to know is why I don’t get strikethrough. Sure, Mr. Pierce gets strikethrough, but what about the little people or the sammich-inclined also?
Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen tags like you wouldn’t believe. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get our goddamn strikethrough tags!!!!!!
From the Jon Swift cloumn linked above:
“Ledeen supplied the principal rationale for going to war with Iraq, which his friend Jonah Goldberg called the “Ledeen Doctrine.” According to Goldberg, Ledeen once said, “Every ten years or so, the United States needs to pick up some small crappy little country and throw it against the wall, just to show the world we mean business.”
Just about my favorite neo-con quote ever. There’s your National Greatness Project: “America, the Bestest, Biggest Schoolyard Bully Ever!”
I’ve… seen tags you people wouldn’t believe; attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion;
I’ve watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate.
Jeebus.
Goldberg had a piece of shit ad hominem hit piece on Edwards today in the LA times, too. These people are vile.
I’ve… seen tags you people wouldn’t believe; attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion;
I’ve watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate.
teh awesome
I’ve… seen tags you people wouldn’t believe; attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion; I’ve watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate.
You have to expect that sort of thing if you let Robert Wilson produce a high-concept version of Wagnerian opera.
Goldberg had a piece of shit ad hominem hit piece
Not just Goldberg.
All of them.
Every week.
It’s al they ever have.
(Hey! Guys on the right! If you have any REAL arguments, better trot ’em out soon for public consumption.)
“In the 60’s, wingers would at least take the time to dress up like hippees and do outrageous things that would give the cops an excuse to bash heads (as if an excuse were needed).”
In all fairness, today some infiltrate anti-globalization and anti-Iraq War rallies dressed as anarchists with their faces covered up and commit acts of vandalism along the protest routes. Which gives cops an excuse to bash heads.
Heck, I’ve always assumed that at least one of the regular S,N! commentors/trolls is an NSA plant marking time for his overlords. We used to call such people “Norberts” but I’m not sure you whippersnappers even know about the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers…
I’ve always assumed that at least one of the regular S,N! commentors/trolls is an NSA plant marking time for his overlords.
Ha! Makes me think of Kevin. The thought that that moronic twat could be in the NSA just tickles my funnybone, for some reason.
“Kevin the narc” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
I’m sure he’d love to play the role, but I’m told it takes some gravitas, and well, Kevin, well, ’nuff said.
I’d be amused if there were an NSA plant monitoring SN!, who was very happy at the prospect of working for Al Gore, and looked forward to one day becoming gruntled again.
OMFG – what teh fcuk is that little area below the Submit Comment button? When I type, little letters magically appear with typos and all that, as if there were a Preview button, and it was reading my mind.
I think you’re missing the point of the post/letter. If it weren’t for George Bush’s invasion of Iraq, such beautiful funerals wouldn’t be taking place.
Wow, Cindy Sheehan is only as bad as Fred Phelps? I’d thought she was worse than Hitler.
No, no, you’re thinking of Nancy Pelosi.
Man, Ledeen is so stupid, I actually emailed him at his aei email address to let him know.
That felt really good. And I can’t wait to see his asinine response.
http://www.nmatv.com/view_video.php?viewkey=10bf22aa353e27879133
We have only begun. 🙂
Marie
I’m one of the anti-war cultists mentioned in the “correction”. Along with Jesus.