Laff Riot

A best of Blogs4Brownback collection:

Against Science!

Heliocentrism is an Atheist Doctrine
Filed under: Faith, Science — Sisyphus @ 10:04 am

What’s even worse than the debate raging in American schools about the teaching of the soulless doctrine of evolution, is the non-debate over an issue that rational Americans have foolishly conceded to the secular among us: the issue of Heliocentrism, or the idea that the Earth revolves around the Sun.

[…]

[W]e should always bear in mind that the Earth does not move. If it moved, we would feel it moving. That’s called empiricism, the experience of the senses. Don’t take my word for it, or the evidence of your own senses, Copernicans. There’s also the Word of the Lord[.]

[…]

I can’t wait to hear from the moonbats and the Darwinists and the other rubes on this one, though. Go on, witch doctors. Preach to me how the planet hurtles through the ether, Scriptural and physical evidence to the contrary! Your false doctrines will be cast down on the day when America rediscovers its Christian roots. That is a promise.

UPDATE: Sheer idiocy.

UPDATE II: Look, people, even your Heliocentric hero Galileo recanted his idiotic notions about the Earth revolving around the Sun. If he’s your so-called reliable source on this, I think it does wonders to shatter the idea’s credibility that one of its main proponents backed away from it so abruptly.

For Jesus, Brownback and loving thy neighbor!:

That’s Sam’s brilliant and compassionate “Whole Life� message. And what is the basis of this?

His focus on compassion comes, he says, from his Christian faith–specifically from the Second Great Commandment, which is to love your neighbor as yourself. “I have that up on my office wall, on a page, framed,� he says.

Love thy neighbor as thyself. Many Christians seem to forget this. Sam Brownback does not. He has a daily reminder posted on his office wall.

Indeed, Brownback thinks the country is changing in a way that would make it more responsive to a more compassion-driven GOP. Since the mid-1990s, the nation has been undergoing what he calls “an awakening.�

Amen! And it demonstrates Sam’s hope for the future. A glorious future he would like to lead us to.

As for how that works in practice, well…:

Jerks like this deserve a Columbian necktie. Hopefully a President Brownback would address this human waste. He’s already passed legislation against sick internet perverts. It’s time this kind of scum were wiped out too and flushed down the toilet.

Iranians aren’t neighbors, they just sort of live down the street:

April 5, 2007
We Can Only Hope
Filed under: Democratic Idiocy, Defending America, Terrorism — Psycheout @ 3:52 pm

The Jerusalem Post has an article claiming that the United States will finally attack Iran on Good Friday (tomorrow). It would be about time.

[…]

Update 4: Victor Davis Hanson has an interesting take that I seem to have missed: Begging for a Bombing. He ends with a question:

But bomb Iran?

Sure. Why not?

Way down the street:

March 30, 2007
Time to Nuke Iran, Disband the UN
Filed under: Democratic Idiocy, Defending America, Terrorism — Sisyphus @ 5:22 am

I’m sure everyone is aware by now of the Iranians’ treatment of the captives they kidnapped from our valiant ally, the British. Naturally, the British are howling for blood, and I think we should start howling along with them. For too long, America has stood by idly while Tehran exported terrorism and evil abroad. The time for their come-uppance is well past due. I think a firm ultimatum should be made, and if it is not honored, we should retaliate using the full capability of our nuclear arsenal on every military target in the Persian Empire. It’s the only way to show the mad mullahs, and the Islamists and Hippies serving their interests, that we, as a nation, honor our friends and value our freedom.

Awesome, huh? But it gets better. Oh yes:

We’re supposed to feel sorry for the suicide-bombing, Hezbollah-hugging Palestinians because the wall Israel built to keep them from killing Israelis is hurting their feelings. Boo hoo, cry me a river Hamas.

As for Palestinian Christians, they should get more support from the rest of us. I think that would be a wonderful opportunity to make converts among the Muslim population, as well. However, one thing we should NOT allow them to do is to run away from the Holy Land. Their presence there is of critical importance for the survival of the Faith. We owe a duty to them; they owe a duty to us.

Precious! After asserting that Palestinian Muslims are all subhuman deathbots, the Blogs4Browneye guys then demand that their Palestinian Xtian brethren stay in the warzone for the good of the faith. Take it for the team!

But, back to the funny pages:

First of all, the Republicans haven’t destroyed the country. Clinton did, and we’re trying to salvage the wreckage from 9/11 and a host of fiscal and cultural crises. Secondly, any Republican who complains about “right-wingers� is a RINO and, thus, a member of Sirota’s circle of friends. Thirdly, Lee Atwater was a patriot and a decent American. Sirota does not win himself any laurels by slandering the words and deeds of a fallen hero.

I could go on citing lies from this man’s blog, but I think even that one paragraph should prove sufficient. The man is closely affiliated with the Clintons. He’s an enemy of freedom, and a shameless moonbat. Keep your children away from his website if you don’t want them growing up to become Bolshevists- or worse.

And:

Some think that an “.xxx� domain would be good for adults only pornography sites. I think this is a good idea, but only if it’s mandatory. It would make it much easier to block porn websites on computers otherwise accessible to children and decent adults. It would also be a good place to put far-left political sites (but that’s just my own personal opinion).

OMG!:

America owes Wolfowitz a debt of honor and gratitude it can never hope to repay. He saved Iraq, he saved America, and he salvaged the World Bank’s miserable reputation. What can a nation such as ours reserve for such a hero? A ticker tape parade and a few airports named after him would hardly begin to cover it.

I see bright things coming in his future, though. Personally, I hope he runs for President, after Brownback’s two terms are up. I’d vote for him.

And this is great stuff:

The ultimate question:

why do hippies smoke marijuana?

Psycheout’s answer(s):

* Because they’re stupid
* Because they want to get high
* Because they think it’s somehow cool
* Because they’re really stupid
* Because they want to get “blotto�
* Because they’re dirty hippies who have nothing better to do than smoke marijuana and steal my tax dollars through food stamps and other handouts for useless layabouts who should rightfully be jailed and yanked from the government teat of welfare and other perks that the losers get as a reward from not working rather than doing a solid day’s work for a decent day’s pay, whew!

That’s right. I am Retartto and I want to get blotto!!!

Cashed:

No reason to not keep smoking pot except for the tiny fact that it’s illegal (and stupid). Just say no to marijuana, people, if you value your brain. You know, that thing that you keep between your ears. Those are attached to the thing you put your hat on. Hopefully those on the “pot� can “dig� what I’m “rapping� about.

Folks, this is comedy genius. This is JUST TO FUNNY FOREVER!!1!

I’m bookmarking it.

 

Comments: 88

 
 
 

Principal Skinner (at the stake): I’m telling you people, the Earth revolves around the Sun.
Grampa Simpson (with pitchfork): Burn him!!!

 
 

Please, PLEASE tell me you found a satire site that is making fun of Brownback fans.
I shudder to think they are not kidding.

 
 

That bit about geocentrism HAS to be a hoax.

Doesn’t it?

 
 

I don’t know!!!

But it’s hilarious either way.

 
 

Now that’s bomb-grade stupid.

 
anangryoldbroad
 

Sounds like someone needs a bong hit to me…..

Kee-rist,what a bunch of Gladys Kravitz waaaanabees.

 
 

There really are some geocentrists around, but not many. I really, really wanna know if that’s for real.

Because the only people in the whole universe funnier than the fixed earthers are the flat earthers, and I’m just cruel enough to enjoy mocking all of them any chance I get.

 
a different brad
 

Wasn’t Kevin the troll behind blogs4brownback? Someone like him was here pimpin it not so long ago
This is overly obvious parody.

 
 

I’ve been replying to their posts for a while, it seems like they are on the level.

I repeat, they mean what they say.

Scary as that is, it makes for great entertainment.

This is my favourite bit, from the Tony Bliar love letter:

“History will remember Blair as one of the few foreign men of vision, who understood the importance of Islamism and was willing to strike at its wellspring, Saddam.”

 
 

What’s a “Columbian necktie” that these “Jews” deserve?

Is that something which Columbia University graduates wear when they are, say, visiting Colombia?

Colombia, by the way, is that big country in South America which gets all that US money and military aid to fight “drugs” although the nation’s biggest drug traffickers, the right wing paramilitary death squads, are continually shown to be working with right wing politicians. (For example, an estimated 400 politicians in the Magdalena region are claimed in internal paramilitary documents to be linked to them.)

But hey, why bother worrying about a government which has collaborated with death squads whose own leaders brag about having assassinated 7,300 people alone (not counting massacres)?

Muslims is skeery!!

 
 

Stop plate tectonics!

 
 

Saddam, the wellspring of Islamic jihad?

The mind boggles.

 
 

I support the Bible, and I don’t want my children learning about Heliocentrism in school. I think this doctrine encourages atheism, Darwinism, and anti-Americanism.

I know that I didn’t start questioning George Bush hating America until I learned that the earth went around the sun. Either that or the metric system.

 
 

one time, i tried the “pot”, and for about 20 minutes i thought i felt the earth moving under my feet, and my pastor sent me to bible camp, where i learnt how wrong i was, and pastor haggard was ther and god made him not gay, and i will never listen to those devil worshipping smarties ever again, i SWEAR, and

 
 

The heliocentrism thing is obviously a joke. “…there may be some mathematical evidence going either way”? It’s a top-to-bottom parody of anti-evolution rhetoric. You might as well wonder whether the Flying Spaghetti Monster is for real.

 
a different brad
 

Ah yes, Psycheout, that’s the troll’s name. Too well-behaved to be anything but a spoof, sorry. Funny stuff, no doubt, but I’m not buying it.

 
anangryoldbroad
 

Do they say this stuff out loud to people I wonder? Like at the grocery store or at work? I mean it’s one thing to write about it on your goofy little corner of the interwebs and such, but to say it out loud around the neighborhood is another thing entirely,isn’t it?

If I ran into someone saying that stuff out loud,I doubt I’d be able to contain my giggling and ridicule. Heliocentric? Seriously?

What’s truly astounding is that somehow they manage to dress and feed themselves,and they learned language. Some of ’em even drive cars around and shit.

 
 

Eppure si muove.

 
 

Here’s another good one:

Is There Anything Less Scientific Than Science?

. . . Sadly, the ignorant exult in their ignorance. The mock us, they assail us, they persecute us at every turn. This despite cogent, rational, sensible explanations for why evolution must be nonsense. As if the Word of the Lord were not enough, though! That’s the part that makes me angriest of all. Scientists will worship the tenets of a dead Englishman who sailed around riding Galapagos turtles, but ask them to read the Scriptures for their evidence and they look at you as if you were the crazy one! The struggle against their idiocy continues, however. True science marches on.

I’m leaning towards parody, but if it is, they’re going to a hell of a lot of trouble.

 
 

What’s a “Columbian necktie� that these “Jews� deserve?

Don’t ask me why I know this but…

A Columbian necktie is a particularly gruesome method of execution where you slit the victim’s throat and then pull his tongue through the slit, so it looks like he’s wearing his own tongue as a necktie. It’s “Columbian” because it was the preferred execution style of Columbian drug warlords in the early 80s (comparable to the mafia’s “cement overshoes”).

On our next episode of “grotesque murder techniques”, we’ll explore the blood eagle, and why you should never, ever piss off a Viking warrior…

 
 

Apparently I didn’t go far enough into their archive. Here’s a good one:

This is wonderful news for America; few things have harmed this nation more than the illegalization of prayer in school. One of those few things is the illegalization of Creationist thought in school, as the secular humanist ideologically-biased teachings of both Darwinism and Heliocentrism debase, corrupt, and pervert the minds of the young when presented in an unchallenged classroom format, as if though they were the Ultimate Truth rather than interesting and controversial theories.

 
 

Ha! I love the “illegalization of prayer in school” nonsense.

I’m a teacher. I actually know what goes on inside American schools, because I spend all day inside one.

Kids can pray all they want to. Teachers can pray all they want to. Provided, of course, that their doing so doesn’t interfere with the primary reason why they are there in the first place – to educate and be educated.

Jeez, my school crosses the line on this one all the time, with awards assemblies and stuff beginning with staff-led invocations to the Christian god, and nobody even complains about that. I don’t like it much, because I am an atheist, but the damn ceremonies aren’t for me anyway – they’re for the kids, and my school community is very uniform in religious belief, so they like it. I wouldn’t complain about the prayers if you paid me to, because it makes the ceremonies more meaningful for the kids and the families there, and that’s way more important than my feelings on the subject.

Anybody who wants is welcome to come to my school and pray as much as they like to – as long as they have a pass from the office and don’t interrupt my class.

 
 

Yeah, brad, it was Psycheout. Apparently he’s the moderate one there. We had a cultural exchange a while back. He was the one who showed up in the poop on the flag thread. He’s frickin
hilarious. Jon Swift ain’t got shit on this crew.

 
 

Well, here’s my snarky piece months ago about this– and I thought it was a bit over the top.

 
 

>more meaningful for the kids and the families there,

Raising children to believe in this nonsense and excusing it as giving “meaning”, how disgusting. While I realise that atheism cannot be enforced, it still turns my stomach to hear of this religious nonsense in public buildings. I sure can sympathise with the hardcore atheists who sue for stuff like this.

 
 

Heliocentrism? Seriously? Um, folks? Orbiting space station? HST? Relativity? I mean, the amount of shit you have to NOT understand in order to even pretend to believe this is HUGE!! They gotta be kidding.

I’m sure at some point they’ll get a C&D letter from the Brownback campaign.

Sure they will…

mikey

 
a different brad
 

The thing that makes me think it’s a spoof is how friendly they are. They’ve even got SN! blogrolled, for eff’s sake. Real wingnut sites don’t tolerate moonbat infestations, because they lose the arguments. So they stop having comments or moderate them or whatev. Point is they can’t handle dissent. It’s part of being a wingnut, especially at this particular moment in time. B4brownback reminds me of nothing so much as Scrutator. Funny and fun, but not real. They’re probably hoping to be taken seriously by real wingnuts so as to get inside and cause trouble, as it were.

 
 

The thing that’s amazing, if it is satirical, is just how much they have posted. But it’s also a tribute to the idiocy of the GOP and specifically the kinds of people who would vote for Brownback that we don’t know for sure if it’s fake!

 
 

B4B seyz:
UPDATE: Sheer idiocy.

And how!

I can’t even wrap my head around the heliocentrism thing. As mikey said, the sheer magnitude of “willfully stupid” you have to be to type that with a straight face (or on a date that is NOT April the First) is staggering.

Doesn’t the Bible (Indisputable proof, apparently. That’s another ridiculously wrong belief, but for different rant.) also basically say that the world is flat and humans will never be able to fly? That sickness is caused by lack of faith, or demon blood?

Keep on looking for that NorthWest Passage, B4B. I’m suuuuure it’s there somewhere, holding the alchemy key for turning lead into gold, and creating your own fountain of youth in six easy steps.

 
 

The fact is that scientific research reveals that the earth is the exact center of the solar system.

Oops, I mean the Earther system.

 
 

They’re right, you know. The universe is Earth-centered. Little do they know that the only thing keeping the universe spinning around the Earth is a daily dose of deified doobie.

Some entities (like God) need the pot to maintain control.

I had a friend in college who was a better driver when she was high. And don’t get me started on Matthew McConaughey. That man has crazy eyes.

 
Worst. President. Ever.
 

After a few drinks, I can actually feel the earth moving.

In fact, I sometimes have to lie down and hang on for dear life.

 
Terry C - End Bush's Reign
 

“the soulless doctrine of evolution”

Are these people ALL freaking retarded?

 
 

Brad, it may be fake, I don’t know, but there are religious super-wingnuts who are friendly like that, good-naturedly insane. Rare, but I’ve seen it.

 
Terry C - End Bush's Reign
 

Don’t listen to Gary Ruppert:

http://thumbsnap.com/v/DD4cql02.jpg

 
 

Diff Brad, I would almost agree with you, and I was very skeptical of it at first, but the phraseology they use is too serious and straight laced. It’s hard to describe. I think the biggest tell is that there’s nothing in the writing that would hint to satire or a joke with a wink.

The “niceness” thing is an old ploy. It’s theater put into the debate; the idea of it is to be so annoyingly, infuriatingly pleasant that your opponent looks bad simply for being your opponent.
Remember years ago in the Supreme Court appointee thing, where they held the giant “Yay Jesus” rally in a megachurch? I’d youtube the Daily Show special on it, but viacom or whoever are whores and blah bah blah.

Anyways, my point is that, during the self-fellatio event, Tom Delay made a pre-taped speach that was shown, and he did he best “l’il ol’ Southern Boy”, “aw shucks, ma’am.” routine about “The democrats call us “Radical Right”. Well, I don’t think it’s “radical” to ask congressmen to vote. I don’t think it’s “radical” to ask congressmen to fulfill their constitutional duty…” and he did it with the weepy, “poor oppressed white guy” tone of voice that just makes you want to slam his face down onto a hot griddle and hold it there until the struggling stops.

 
a different brad
 

HTML, interesting. You definitely know the wingnutosphere better than I. Just really, really, really reminds me of Scrutator. If they have a post about abortion not calling anyone disagreeing with them murderers that’ll be a good tell.

 
 

I wonder if this is shoelimpy/annie. Over the top wingnuttien/troll is their stock in trade. (See only whores serve frozen.).

Always stay in character, if you want to be Stephen Colbert!

 
a different brad
 

N Some Guy, niceness only goes so far. DeLay was getting pissed at Colbert, as was O’Reilly. B4Brownback blogrolls here and teh Editors and 3 Bulls.
Come to think of it, the 3 Bulls link is a tell in itself, isn’t it?

 
 

Yeah, the 3 Bulls link does make me more suspicious. Those guys are clever enough to pull a sustained and laborious spoof like this off. Hmm.

 
 

Just remember, the best part of a spoof like this is that it points out the right is so crazy, you honestly can’t tell a spoof from a looney.

 
a different brad
 

One of the longest running commentors over at blogs4bush is a refugee from Scrutator. Either the best, deepest cover spoof in the business or a semi-witless crazy old man who got suckered in. Unfortunately most real wingnuts smelled the spoof better than the lefties, in retrospect.
Who here hasn’t been banned by the likes of Rick Moran or Dan Riehl or Pammy or etcetcetc? Any even vaguely effective dissent must be quashed. That’s why the malkin thing doesn’t allow comments. The impostor bs was just cover.

 
a different brad
 

Oops, thumb hit wrong button too early.
My point is there’s fake religious nice, and then there’s too nice for wingnut.
You can’t hate brown people and breezily joke with people who think you’re at least a bit biased for doing so.

 
 

On another note entirely, he whined….

I’m using Mozilla Firefox II (just updated!). Sadly No, is not saving my user/useless information, like my longassed ascii laden name, my email addy, and my nottablog/collectiono’geocitiespages.

P.S. Since I’ve also been banned from making comments at the WaPo, I’m gettin’ all dennis the peasant on people. Help! Help! I’m being oppressed!

 
 

The update’s probably just changed you to not accepting local cookies, or set their duration to zero. Should be an easy fix, and you’ll want to if you use yahoo or google mail…

mikey

 
a different brad
 

Ok, this has to settle the debate.
Spoof.

 
 

Blogs 4 Brownback is a spoof, I feel sure. Who would say about Ann Coulter’s eulogy to Falwell “A more fitting tribute to a finer human being could not be crafted.” That’s too spit-polished in its earnestness.

I admire these folks, though. Engaging the wingnuts with a steady, soft-pedaled imitation. I picture someone slowly reeling in a lure, trying to catch the really big fish of wingnuttery. Colbert on low volume…

 
 

You know how on some sites when you scroll over a link a little box shows up with a short description? Check the Blogs 4 Brownback blog roll. First, Jeff Gannon’s site is there. Second, some of the little blurbs are pretty funny. See, for example the ones for Captain’s Quarters, LIttle Green Footballs, Swank, and Marie Jon’.

 
 

wait a minute…the sun doesn’t revolve around the earth? damn, next you’ll be telling me that the earth isn’t flat and that there aren’t zombies and other monsters who appear under my bed at night.

 
 

Did you notice that the links to S,N!, 3Bs, and The Poor Man are specifically listed under the heading “Wierdos” and that all the other links in the blogroll are wingnutty?

adb- it’s a dumb post and dumber comments. The site is full of them. I don’t see how that settles anything. I’m just saying, I still can’t tell if they’re for real or not. If they’re spoofing, they sure are spending WAY too much time with it.

It does say a lot about the wingnutosphere that it really is impossible to tell if they’re serious or not.

A Columbian necktie is a particularly gruesome method of execution where you slit the victim’s throat and then pull his tongue through the slit, so it looks like he’s wearing his own tongue as a necktie. It’s “Columbian� because it was the preferred execution style of Columbian drug warlords in the early 80s (comparable to the mafia’s “cement overshoes�).

Aah, memories…

As I recall from my own youth in Miami back in those days of the “cocaine cowboy” wars, the use of that method was restricted to informants and witnesses, as a warning to anyone else thinking of speaking up. It is quite effective at scaring the shit out of everybody, and sensational enough to gaurantee widespread news coverage- the story doesn’t get buried in the news of the daily shootouts, drive-bys, etc. Everybody hears about the killing, and the motive.

Good-Old-Fashioned gang terrorism, in other words. It’s more comparable to the Mafia’s cutting out a tongue and leaving the body somewhere obvious, to send a message to others to keep silent. The point of “cement overshoes” is the opposite: the intent is to make sure the body is never found, not to send any messages.

 
 

delurking to comment that I don’t think they are a spoof site at all. I read the KOS diary and have read through their site and get a definite frisson – they are dead serious IMHO, but are playing on the progressives’ tendency to give the benefit of the doubt. Re their playbook – Smart, yes. Progressive – not.

 
 

It’s the funny. But not everyone gets that: http://www.totheright.org/?p=459

 
 

Another sucker taken in: http://www.coloradoconservativeproject.blogspot.com/

And you know it’s mockery when you read the phrase: “…snuggling up to Sodomites…”

 
 

Pastor Swank: a sane voice in today’s world

It’s gotta be a parody. Nobody could call Swank sane with a straight face. I can barely type the two words in the same sentence without bursting out laughing.

 
 

As I recall from my own youth in Miami back in those days of the “cocaine cowboy� wars, the use of that method was restricted to informants and witnesses, as a warning to anyone else thinking of speaking up. It is quite effective at scaring the shit out of everybody, and sensational enough to gaurantee widespread news coverage- the story doesn’t get buried in the news of the daily shootouts, drive-bys, etc. Everybody hears about the killing, and the motive.

Yeah, it was definitely a scare tactic. Historically, gruesome and shocking mutilations of the human body are forms of terrorism.

The point of “cement overshoes� is the opposite: the intent is to make sure the body is never found, not to send any messages.

Sorry–I didn’t phrase that right. The technique of cement overshoes–and hence the term itself–became joined to mafia in the popular imagination in the same way the “necktie” technique became linked to Columbian criminals.

 
 

In extremis, everybody resorts to terrorism. From the LPC, it looks like the right approach. The amazing thing is how often it is directly, perfectly counterproductive, and nobody ever learns.

In the belly and in the fishhook, if we found a ville with a weapons cache or a too-elaborate bunker system, we killed all their livestock, poured diesel in the rice crib, took the young men and beat the older men. The idea was to make them realize that if they were sympathetic to the NVA it would cost them. Did it work? Of course not. They just learned to hate us and find ways to get even. So it goes.

The art and science of imposing your will is squishy. People have to be intimidated, but they still have to believe there is more good to come from aligning with you than there is satisfaction in seeing you crushed. Almost nobody has perfected this art…

mikey

 
 

I absolutely REFUSE to accept that any of those comments ARE NOT wacky guys taking the piss. None of it can be real. Can it?

 
 

adb- it’s a dumb post and dumber comments.

Aw, come on, Rob. He/she writes a post wondering why dirty hippies smoke pot and it’s filled with “I’m so tired” and “hopefully my friend can pick up the slack tomorrow” and “go ahead and comment if you’re so inclined” (not precise quotes). It’s a spoof, and funny.

This entry on porn spammers is hysterical.

I could see the 3 bulls gang doing this. Especially since the balloon over the 3 Bulls link refers to ” ‘Pinko’ Punky Brewster”.

 
 

maddie’s right. The “winks” are there to be seen. These doods are genius, and their dedication is impressive….

mikey

 
 

“In extremes, everybody resorts to terrorism.”

See: Revolutionary War. Guerrilla hit and run attacks? Check. Civilian Soldiers? Check. Rouge militias and factions working against the government? Check.

If roadside bombs existed back them, you best believe that the rebels would have used them. The Continental Army knew they would never survive a direct confrontation with the British Armies, as was proven time and time again, until France was sufficiently convinced that the Revolution was a winnable venture, and sent advisers and supplies to the Colonists to teach them how to do war.

 
 

Rouge militias and factions

Yes, I’ve always found the rouge militias and factions so lovely this time of year.

Ahem…rogue.

Sorry to be petty. Actually, this typo struck me as hilariously funny. I was going to pass on commenting but my inner spelling/typo-nazi took over.

 
 

Because they’re dirty hippies who have nothing better to do than smoke marijuana and steal my tax dollars through food stamps and other handouts for useless layabouts who should rightfully be jailed and yanked from the government teat of welfare and other perks that the losers get as a reward from not working rather than doing a solid day’s work for a decent day’s pay, whew!

I’m so tired of people bashing us potsmokers. We are not evil, nor do we suck off the teat of Government. I work as hard as anyone, and earn my money the old-fashioned way, by selling pot to children…

 
 

by selling pot to children

LOL!

 
 

Some Guy said,

May 19, 2007 at 22:32 ,

Doesn’t the Bible (Indisputable proof, apparently. That’s another ridiculously wrong belief, but for different rant.) also basically say that the world is flat and humans will never be able to fly? That sickness is caused by lack of faith, or demon blood?

No. It doesn’t say that. You have the Bible confused with Benny Hinn.

Oh, and read the actual Mencken. This is true satire. The real deal, not the winky, winky spoofs that are often (wrongly) called satire.

 
 

I have no reason to believe this is a hoax. I have posted on Gather dot com (a NPR community site infested with wing-nuts) about global warming and left after hearing the most unbelievable, bone stupid arguments you can imagine. Time after time after time. Some were not even legible. I got the “I can refute global warming, it’s cold outside” and yes, the moron was completely serious. No… I can more easily believe this is real than a spoof, thou I am not 100 percent sure. I think the odds favor it being real.

Years ago, My rep from the 1st district here in Minnesota, Gil Gutenect, wrote to the NIH or the CDC (I forget which) claiming that his reading of the Bible proved that AIDS was not caused by HIV or some such nonsense. These people are that stupid, believe me.

Excessive religiosity is also a recognized mental illness.

 
 

noen,

that’s what real satire does; it gets so deep inside its subject as to be indistinguishable from it. That’s how it makes the target look ridiculous. Will the worst of the wingnuts recognize that this is mocking them? No. That’s fact. But it might make some people who are tempted to classify them as reasonable think twice.

 
 

OK, I see your point I may be moving more to your position. But maannnn… you know, I have met ultra religious types who are truly that insane. It doesn’t stretch my imagination much to believe it’s real.

On a more hopefull side, if they can get Brownback to publicly support them his public life will be over. And that would be a very good thing. I went to the 3Bulls site and I can see them doing this… but I can see it being real too.

 
 

In my experience, Pinko Punko is one of the more mystical, ethereal, and un-moored individuals I have encountered. I love the lack of sensibility in his posts. I love the fact that you can never “get it” because, and this is the joke, there is no “it” to get. And I have no idea if those guys could/would do something like the brownback blog, but if they chose to do it they would do it this well…

mikey

 
a different brad
 

It’s a bit of an Andy Kaufmann thing, I think. It works for them, and that’s the point. If some of us appreciate it at points along the way, all the better, no doubt, but our participation is optional.
Another little clue is Operation Clambake, a long running and informative anti-Scientology site, sittin in their conservative blogroll.

 
 

See also Psycheout’s personal blog. The 4/7/07 has a link to a David Icke excerpt, of all things.

 
 

The 4/7/07 post.

 
 

You can always see true satire as being “real.” That’s its power. And insanity is a deep flowing river that floods all doorsteps. Ever heard of “Loose Change”? “Bush was really behind 9/11”? Ever talk to a “successful” Amway distributor?

 
 

And for all you G.I. Joe fans, here’s Psyche-Out’s file card.

 
 

maybe the whole brownback phenomenon, inasmuch as there is one, is a piece of performance art. and we are…well, “it’s not so fucking funny when you’re the one on stage”, that is, we are adding to the second act? look, it’s hard to be coherent when you are “rapping” from the “pot” you “smoked*”, but the point here is maybe a brownback led America is worth it on comedy points. i’ll put it another way–if we are going to hell in a handbasket anyway (peak oil, or global warming, or suitcase nukes or dead oceans or what have you) let’s go out laughing at the absurdity of our idiot neighbors. president brownback sounds MUCH funnier than president mccain or giuliani (those just sound hideous and evil). so brownback 2008 i say.

i for one will be on my spaceship headed to moonbase alpha anyway, so fuck all you clowns.

*does it count as “”smoking” if you use a vaporizer?

 
 

Moonbase Alpha?
That’s so 1999!

 
Qetesh the Abyssinian
 

There’s one reason why I’m not so sure this is satire, and it’s this. It’s about the memo circulated by Warren Chisum of Texas and Ben Bridges of Georgia. It’s mainly about evolution and how it’s all a Kabbalistic plot (yeah, didn’t you know?), but they point to links on a geocentric web site.

Clearly extremely kooky. I’m surprised that these guys are allowed out on their own, much less trusted to positions in government.

 
 

this is not real. this is not real. this is not real…

Bomb Iran? Heliocentrism? Does this Brownback guy know that he has supporters like this? Or is this really his platform?

this is not real. this is not real. this is not real…

Um, what about the Iranian treatment of the British captives? I mean, yeah, if they’d been stripped naked and tied to chairs, and the Iranians had played Tijuana Telephone on their nuts with a portable electrical generator, I would have strongly supported, um, well, hell, anything but nuclear war. Jesus!

this is not real. this is not real. this is not real…breathe>

Clinton ruined the country? With what, one swing of his mighty Clenis? I didn’t like the son of a bitch, but things weren’t actually in too bad a shape when he left. The one thing you can say for sure about American presidents these days is that each new one will be about an order of magnitude worse than the last. I guess “Brownback,” if his supporters are anything to go by, will continue this fine tradition.

this is not real. this is not real. this is not real…

I don’t know why hippies smoke marijuana, but you guys have just given me the perfect excuse to take up the habit. Thanks, “Psycheout.”

this is not real. this is not real. this is not real…

Save us, Senator Gravel. Me sending in my contribution today.

 
Brian Schlosser
 

Just popping out of the lurker pool to note that the “Why do Hippies Smoke Pot” post was not only written with references to sleepiness, etc, but it was posted on 4/20.

Dude! 4/20!

So my vote is for almost 100% straigh-faced satire, and very good stuff too.

 
 

I tried pot once! I had a “bum voyage”! But pot makes you real sexy! I smoked it and tried to take my pants off– over my head!

I ride a VTR-1000 and an 900SS, my motto: Leave no turn unstoned!!

 
 

It’s “Columbian� because it was the preferred execution style of Columbian drug warlords in the early 80s

Man, things were tougher than I thought up in Morningside Heights in the 80’s!

 
The Other Steve
 

I gotta agree with what noen said… “Years ago, My rep from the 1st district here in Minnesota, Gil Gutenect, wrote to the NIH or the CDC (I forget which) claiming that his reading of the Bible proved that AIDS was not caused by HIV or some such nonsense. These people are that stupid, believe me. ”

Maybe it’s a Minnesota thing. I’m up in Ramstad territory. Back in 2004 I got into an argument with a guy who insisted that smaller government meant banning homosexuality.

 
 

I vote for satire. The spit-polish point above is telling, and parts of the heliocentrism posting are too deliberately naive; overall it lacks the passion, keening self-pity, and weird mental jumps of real nuttery. There’s an Umberto Eco-type story here about someone who starts a parody site that’s taken for real and gradually they get sucked in and it becomes real.

Scrutator, though, there’s a site with passion. What’s the story there?

For parodies my favorite is the clever and entertaining http://objectiveministries.org/

 
 

Another little clue is Operation Clambake, a long running and informative anti-Scientology site, sittin in their conservative blogroll.

Good catch, adb.

 
Qetesh the Abyssinian
 

There’s an Umberto Eco-type story here about someone who starts a parody site that’s taken for real and gradually they get sucked in and it becomes real.

Wasn’t that Hubbard?

 
 

Coming from Brownback country, my fear is it’s real. You can scarcely believe the depths of insanity now enshrined in the Ks. Repub Party. And no, I don’t actually know whether you can enshrine a depth. Phil Kline, former state and now county Atty. is nearly as crazy as the B4B’s, and he’s a favorite son.

 
 

“a man who had carnal relations with Galapagos turtles”

OK, Sisyphus is having way too much fun now in his comment thread. Pity the thing couldn’t have been sustained a few more months.

Q, I guess it is Hubbard’s story. The interesting difference in the bloggysphere is all the interlinking — you can become part of a network of like-minded sites, start getting ad revenue. You could set up a whole deep-cover network of blogs. E.g. you have to wonder, could studentsforbrownback also be parody? Could the whole Brownback campaign be some sort of performance art?

A lot of wingers, from Joe McCarthy to Rush Limbaugh, are con men without deep beliefs, glib talkers who found a shtick that worked and shtuck to it.

 
 

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