I’d tip the christ out of you guys. I’d tip you like a redneck drunk in a pasture full of sleeping cows. I’d tip you like Hedrin. But, as of about ten days ago, do I have a job? Sadly, no! My regular gig went the way of the dodo and the passenger pigeon, although that’s a misleading allegory, as it implies that the job itself because obsolete, or something, indicating I was laid off or downsized or something, when, in fact, the truth is simpler and more awful — I apparently pissed off my boss when I called in sick in order to take my newlywed bride over to the doctor’s office, as I was afraid she was dying of pneumonia. (Good news: she’s just got bronchitis, and is at this point nearly recovered.)

Went in on Thursday after calling in on Wednesday, and, oops — my agency was supposed to tell me late the day before that my ‘assignment had been ended’. But they hadn’t, so, embarrassment all around! I got to get back on the downtown bus and make my way home to my bronchial wife, with the gladsome tidings that our household income had just been halved. Oooops.

Where will I work now? FukifIknow. I’ve submitted a buncha short stories to a buncha mags, but that’s never gone anywhere before so I see no reason to be hopeful now. I’ve registered with a lot of online job search engines and sent out a great many resumes and I guess I can get some Unemployment. I’m dreading ending up as a bagger at the local supermarket, but the upside to crappy pay, shitty hours and soul deadening job duites would be a worksite within walking distance of home. That’s something, right?

Meanwhile, $2,500 worth of HeroClix stare at me maddeningly with their sightless little plastic eyes, whispering to me silently the magical syllables “Ebay! EeeeeeeeeBAY!” But I’m not there yet. Am I?

So I’d tip you guys, but shit, I couldn’t even buy comic books this week.

Best o’luck wid dat, doe.

Is there another means of donating besides PayPal?

If you guys set up an Amazon Honor System donation button, more people can donate and they will take a lower percentage from each transaction than PayPal.

I think this is the link.

I hope it’s not an imminent need. I just had to drop 3k to fix my goddamn floor, which means it’ll take a couple weeks to be able to give a real chunk of change like i’d like.

And nobody go all Mr. Pink on Brad’s Ass.

mikey

Well, I don’t have $3000, but you’ve now got enough for a round of Pizza and beer after it’s fixed.

Oh no wait, that’s a different Brad. I can’t read.

Done.

And let me tell you, it gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling to send my bucks to “WordPress Paypal Donate Plug-in”. Very moving.

Doc – Best of luck. Glad your bride is better.

Don’t feel obligated to donate- it’s not urgent. Just if you feel like it, we appreciate it 🙂

Done, and done.

Does this mean you guys can now afford to hire Previewie back? Bacon sammiches and Steel Reserve in the green room? An inflatable love sheep for Gavin? What are we buying into, here?

There ya go. Get yourself something pretty.

Here’s a little something for keeping the ice cubes cold.

I tip like the white fat-ass pimp that I am.

Now bring the dessert menu.

Are our contributions tax deductible?

“Don’t spend it all in one place”.

Can I earmark my donations solely for photoshopping giant sandwiches into pictures?

I will never contribute to this disinformation shop, I will however use my vast resources to support Instapundit and LGF and Michelle Malkin.

Gary, Gary, silly boy. You have NO idea how much you contribute, not only to this site, but to the level of disinformation it provides. Don’t ever change…

mikey

Gee, Brad… Rather than a tip, wouldn’t you rather I regale you with stories about my trip to the Rogue Brewery earlier this week? Or would that just constitute taunting?

Marita- did you and Gav get my invite?

Q – What did the mohel say to the little boy?
A – Thanks for the tip!

And now so say you.

How can I not throw down a sawbuck to the folks who introduced me to the genius of Mark Noonan?

I’d love to contribute, but have no job and at my advanced age am about to be a full-time student, with loans n’stuff. But when I hook up a nice part-time job and find a new place to live, I’ll be floating some bucks your way.

Doc, I know that pain. Same thing happened to me at an agency a couple of years ago, and I did get unemployment. I’m sure you will too. And I, too, am glad your new bride is feeling better.

Boys, normally I’d be throwing in my mite with the best of ’em, even though it’s Australian and hence less worthy.

But the sad fact is that this kitty is basically unemployed, and has been for about 18 months. Yes, I’m trying to get a new business off the ground, but the incomings are very scant indeed. Myself and my sister Luschka, of course, get the finest kibble known to man, but the handmaiden is on scant rations, we have no hot water, and our electricity bill is late (as in the payment thereof).

We’re utterly skint, is what I’m trying to say. So while you can rely on some contribution in future (this from someone who actually pays for shareware), at the moment we’re on the bones of our bums, as my sainted mother would say.

The name you don’t recognize? That’s me. Well, that’s not me, that’s just the credit card linked to the paypal account I use. (No, it’s not stolen. There was a problem getting me a bank account, don’t ask. And don’t change your name more than once, or you’ll get to find out firsthand how much fun it is.) I’m almost through my inheritance and back to being as broke as the rest of you jobless and disabled types, but I like to think this one would really piss off the grandfather who accidentally left it to me.

Incidentally, you’d have gotten more and maybe some cranes if you had a PO Box, ’cause I have more actual cash than online money. Then again, considering how unwilling I am to let you guys know my name, it shouldn’t surprise me you’re unwilling to tell me where you live.

glad to tip you a few euro from obama’s mother country

well great-great-great-grandfather country anyway

Maddie and Candy,

Thanks. The Bride seems to have turned the corner, and while I’m still as unemployable as ever, Unemployment itself seems to be in the offing, and in an amount that will let me pay the rent, too. It’s not what I was making when I was working, but it’s more than I’d made bagging groceries. I have no faith in government agencies, so I’m not really counting on it until I start cashing checks, but, still, despair and Ebay have both been staved off for the time being.

I appreciate the kind words on my behalf, and my family’s.

Even with a tip, I’m still only paying about .04 cents per hour of entertainment here — not a bad deal. So, until the Virgin Ben and M’arie Jon’ finally get together to breed a super-wingnut, semi-literate lovechild, make mine Sadly!