Shorter Kathleen Parker

Above: Morgan Fairchild

‘Banal Outrage’

  • Bloggers and sitting U.S. senators are entitled to their opinions, of course, but David Broder is more entitled to his.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.


Comments: 72


Ah, Travis, you left out the part about how any criticism of the War on Eastasia is treason and that the Democratic senators are merely showing their true capitulatory colors in coming to the defense of their elected leader.

Apart from that, you’ve got her Orwell-for-dummies schtick down cold: some animals are more equal than others.


In fact, what Broder said was not remotely outrageous. It’s hardly crazy to think it inappropriate when the leader of the most powerful governing body in the world declares in the midst of a war that the war is lost.

In fact, what Broder said was completely typical of the senile old fuck. It’s totally insane to think it inappropriate when the leader of the most powerful governing body in the world declares in the midst of a four year old bloody debacle that it is time to face the facts.


As a woman, Parker has to give the alpha male his props, else Broder may come to resent her.


Is the “don’t-they-have-better-things-to-do-than-_________” argument a new one for the wingers? Or has the mother ship merely programed them all to use it whenever possible these days? I’ve been hearing it alot lately.


Townhall is a great source for ones recommended daily dosage of irony.

Political terrorism – “oppose us at your peril” – has become the tool of the Left to create division and confusion among Americans. It’s a deliberate act, and frankly I think they slipped when they made it this obvious.

And then there’s this absurdity.

“Thin skinned, humorless, illogical, shallow, fascistic….. basic terms to describe today’s liberals, who are as far removed from the dictionary definition of “liberal” as Attila the Hun.”

I’m extremely offended that anyone would describe me as shallow…


K-Park can’t resist noting in conclusion that the only justifiable outrage is against those dirty fucking hippies who swear a lot.

The absence of fairness and respectful dissension — and the decline of civility wrought by our nation’s unhinged narcissism — now there’s something worthy of outrage.

Fucking cobag.


dirty fucking hippies indeed! don’t you all get it? just don’t be a dirty fucking hippie you’re allowed to say whatever you want — just look at the entirety of right wing talk radio


As a political movement, those of us who oppose this occupation would be well served to counter this argument by saying over and over again, loudly, that this is NOT a war. We are not at war. The war was won in the spring of 2003 when our military took Baghdad and deposed the Iraqi leadership. Since that date this has been an occupation.

And an occupation is neither “won” nor “lost”. A successful occupation, say Japan in the 1940s is dependent upon the population of the occupied nation accepting the occupier as a legitimate power. If for any reason that does not happen, and the population determines that they want to force the occupation to end, there is no hope of a successful occupation, and at some point the occupier has to give up and go home.

That, I believe, is a much more accurate description of America in Iraq, and it eliminates any usage of this empty “victory” slogan.


a different brad

Someone, please, do a post about this.
It seems David Horowitz can even manage to screw up dumping a racist contributor.
(Warning: thinly veiled racist site. if you don’t wanna click on such on principle, don’t.)


Here’s my take on Kathleen Parker:

Not worth reading but probably worth a little ass-to-mouth action. Heh heh, just kidding Kathleen. Surely as a blog commenter I have the right to comment, right? Just like Broder?


The SF Giants are wearing “Gigantes” on their uniforms this afternoon. Malkin’s head should be exploding any minute.


Well, Tasteless, her mode of thought is one letter off from “anal.”


Parker writes “Everybody can type, but not everyone can write. Everyone has an opinion, but not everyone comes equipped with the same skills and experience.”

and yet she still has a job.


Sorry, but she lost me at ” Though Broder is a great political writer…”

I would let her blow me, though, if she were to offer. I have needs, just like anybody else.

Retarded Donut

I wanna see her and Michelle Malkin do it!

Mehitabel the Abyssinian

The absence of fairness and respectful dissension… now there’s something worthy of outrage.
Damn right. I can put up with dissension from the house-apes, so long as they’re sufficiently obsequious about it.


Shorter Broderite Assholes: “Well, maybe we’ll stop calling you traitorous abortion-loving terrorists but only if you say ‘please’, first.”


Read the comments over at the column. I don’t know what’s stronger over there — the deep state of denial or the intense projection.


Making the pie higher!!


Read the comments over at the column.

No thanks. There are sharp objects within my reach.


I figured out why that picture bothers me. It looks like the thing was shot with a soft filter, then they photo-shopped it out along her left jaw and neck line ton contrast her hair.

In other news.
Gaaary. Oh, Gaaaaary….


AkaDad, you stopped quoting before you got to the best part. The commenter over there goes on to say, “Every day they find a new way to demonstrate how contemptible they truly are. Their principal – and most dangerous – skill is in fooling the ignoranuses who vote for them.”

That was entirely worth having to clean my cookies out now.


D. Sidhe

AkaDad, you stopped quoting before you got to the best part.

I stopped quoting there because I was soooo upset at being called shallow, and I didn’t want to be the cause of an unfortunate cookie incident…


I would like to remind all of you “anonymous” posters that your time is limited! Harry is watching you!


None of the RW dilrods going on about Reid will give the full quote, which is something along the lines of “This war is lost due to the way the Bush administration screwed it up,” they just go for the “shorter” part.
(I’m too lazy to look it up myself, does that make me a LW dilrod?)


Well, yeah, technically, but here in Dilrodberry we all seem to suffer from it to some extent or another. You know, old bean, Dilrodberry is a very clean, pleasant, nicely landscaped kind of a community, very clean, educated and well spoken, if you get my drift, and I think you do old man.

The ability of a true dilrod to look proper and authoritarian in a suit is why we build monuments to Kosygin. But that’s a whole ‘nother kettle of tea….



S, N! The quote wasn’t quite like that, look it up yourselves. Sorry folks.

Retarded Donut

“I believe … that this war is lost, and this surge is not accomplishing anything, as is shown by the extreme violence in Iraq this week.”

There it is.

It totally proves the Bush Administration is right about everything. Somehow.

My head hurts. Why does God hate us so that he makes honest, decent people share the world with conservatives?


Bad news. God is imaginary. It’s your wifes sister that hates you.


Just trying to help….


Retarded Donut

My wife’s sister hates us so that she makes honest, decent people share the world with conservatives.

OK, that’s cleared up.

But it still doesn’t answer the why!


“Punditry has become a free-for-all — and mutual respect is locked in the attic with Aunt Sadie.” — KP

I don’t understand why she had to bring her Aunt Sadie into this.


Here’s a treat for the wingnut on this Sunday morning– a crossword
with clues by the CLENIS!!!

C’mon, losers. You gonna let Bubba outsmart you?
And can you imagine our current President writing crossword clues?


I think we should report K.P. to the police for locking her Aunt Sadie in the attic.


I created a crossword puzzle on the graphing portion of a high school algebra exam. I hadn’t studied in months and was going to fail the class no matter what, so I figured that was a decent way to pass two hours. The teacher completed the puzzle and gave me partial credit for the effort.

And maybe it’s just the lamentably sharp clarity of his columns’ accompanying head shot, but no one ever talks about going ass-to-mouth on David Broder — no matter how reprehensible his opinions. Just sayin’.


but no one ever talks about going ass-to-mouth on David Broder…

Hope springs eternal!

Teh Dean is going to keep plugging away until he gets some of that sweet A2M he reads about on the innert00bz.


The eyes in that photo seem to follow me around the room.


I want to reiterate what Mikey said about this “war”. It’s NOT a war. It’s an occupation, so “victory” is not possible. Our soldiers are not engaged in battle. When nearly all of the deaths are due to abushes and road side bombs, it’s an occupation.


Does it hurt to get hit in the face with a photoshop?


Whatever could you be talking about, EdsAppliance?

Jesus fucking Christ, it’s like Thomas Kinkade found a Wacom tablet.

Smiling Mortician

Wowsers. Looks like somebody got hold of a copy of Photoshop with the new “Decades-be-Gone” tool.

Smiling Mortician

And speaking of tools, thanks for the link to today’s Broder column, ITTDGY. It basically boils down to “Something that is not currently happening regarding Iraq will eventually happen in some way. Count on it.”


You know what I would totally love to see?

Bush’s latest approval rating on a poll came in at 28%. He’s got five points to go before he bottoms out at the lowest level any president’s ever had – Truman at 23%.

We all know it’s just a matter of time at this point before he gets there – and he’ll go cruising past Nixon on his way there. Wouldn’t it be groovy to have a little countdown graph you could put on a blog sidebar – like a United Way fundraising thermometer, but going down instead of up? We can track him on the way down, and have a big party when he finally falls through the floor. Everyone could do special blog posts on the day he breaks the 23% floor, and we could all use that day to donate money to some appropriate charitable service – veterans’ aid services or international child relief funds or something like that.


Wouldn’t it be groovy to have a little countdown graph you could put on a blog sidebar – like a United Way fundraising thermometer, but going down instead of up?

That’s a great idea.

Innocent Bystander

Hard to believe but, behind that face, lurks a full blown screaming RW whackjob of the highest order. Let me remind everyone that she suggested nuking Fallujah after that gruesome act of dragging stringing up the 4 corpses of those mercenaries a few years back.


I don’t think it’s hard to believe.

That is perhaps the scariest photoshop job I’ve ever seen. What did they do to her eyes? What must her real eyes look like if that’s what they had to do to them to make them look normal? Does she have goat-eyes or something?


Goat Eyes!! Hah!! That’s hilarious…

Gotta be a song parody in there somewhere. Just gotta figure out the right song…



Her fur is Harlow gold
Her lips a prehensile surprise
Her hooves are always clov’d
She’s got Capra hircus eyes.


Hey mikey, what about using Peter Gaberial’s “In your eyes” as the base?

Herr Doktor Bimler

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
Whatever could you be talking about, EdsAppliance?

The woman in that picture seems to be small enough to stand in front of a bar-code. Very odd.


It’s really just a picture of the clone that KP uses for replacement parts.

a different brad



Nuh-uh! Morgan Fairchild is made completely out of plastic now while this woman is just heavily Photoshopped.

Worst. President. Ever.

Photoshopped, hell! She’s obviously been using the same guy that used to do the photographic touchups for Comrade Joe Stalin, to get rid of all the pockmarks.


she’s been GlamourShotted within an inch of her life!

either that, or the rendering farm at LucasArts has been at work.

But maybe I exaggerate.


Morgan Fairchild, unwingnut.


I’m calling you out HTML Mencken! Ignore this!

Hillary Clinton, wingnut. So says the National Review. Via Altercation.

To right-wingers willing to look beneath what probably sounds to them like the same identical views of the Democratic candidates, it is pretty clear that Hillary Clinton is the most conservative. John Edwards is the most liberal, and Barack Obama is somewhere in between.


At some point, politically sophisticated conservatives will have to recognize that no Republican can win in 2008 and that their only choice is to support the most conservative Democrat for the nomination. Call me crazy, but I think that person is Hillary Clinton.


she’s been GlamourShottied within an inch of her life!



Goat Eyes!! Hah!! That’s hilarious…

I swear some days I feel like the Geico caveman around here.


Awwwww, we love you, Goat Boy!

And it would be nice if Mencken checked in, Bubba, just to let us know he’s doing okay after the dangerous weather that’s moved through the south central states.


Shorter me:

I still hate Kathleen Parker!

Longer me: It was my supreme misfortune to semi-regularly read Ms. Parker during the height of her sick, sick obsession with teh Clenis, and–
Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!1!!


Travis, if you’re insinuating that Kathleen Parker is the Poor Man’s Morgan Fairchild, then I’m sorry to inform you that you are infringing on another person’s bailiwick.

Do this again and you’ll be hit with a vengeful music video. So, if you love America, repent!


Parker: The disinhibiting effect of anonymity, meanwhile, has unleashed something dark in the human spirit that seems to have infected the broader culture. It isn’t enough to say that Broder is all wet; instead he’s “foaming at the mouth,” a “gasbag” and a “venomous” bloviator throwing a “bed-wetting tantrum,” borrowing again from Begala.

Isn’t she the same woman who boasted of receiving an email from a “Delta Forces member” calling for the Democratic presidential candidates to be lined up and shot? I guess calling for someone’s execution by firing squad IS less dark than calling him a “gasbag.”

Oh, and: “Goat-eyes.” Excellent. Ol’ Goat-eyes is back!


KP with the glamour shot. Unless you have leprosy, these type photos only serve to suggest to the viewer that you have leprosy and had to go soft-focus to cover the craters.



Thanks, J – . I always thought Morgan Fairchild was a nice person, but I didn’t know she was that active.

Kathleen Parker used to appear in our local paper from time to time, but Cal Thomas seems to be the main token wingnut these days. (The Des Moines Reigister is called a leftist rag by the local wingnuts, which means, of course, that it’s just ever so slightly left of center.) I remember she had a kind of vaguely creepy worship for her father. If I recall correctly, the shorter in her daddy columns would have been something like, “single mothers deserve to be lined up and shot, but single fathers are teh bestest, especially if they’re firm disciplinarians”, or, perhaps, an even shorter “I’m a daddy’s girl”. I imagine her raising is to blame for her authoritarianism.

Disclaimer: No insult to single dads implied or intended.


if you gazoogle “Kathleen Parker, daddy” you get a bunch of material, including a very good piece at Pandagon.

Dang, I must be bored if I’m Googling maroons. I think I’ll go take a nap. It’s raining and flooding around here, and I just want to go hibernate until it’s over. At least we haven’t had any tornados. HTML, I second Jillian. Drop by and let us know you haven’t washed away.


Candy and HTML are both in the central plains, too? Some o dem internet tubes is small ones!


Small indeed, GoatBoy, small indeed…


New post, New post please!!!!

Seeing that soft-focus, ‘shopped photo everytime I load the page is now making me ill.


Our Miss Parkwhore: it was the way Broder saw it. This translates to: Broder makes shit up just like I do, what’s wrong with that?


Buggery is only bad if people find out about it.


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