Something’s seriously wrong with David Broder
I swear, it’s almost like David Broder is begging bloggers to make fun of him with this column:
Thankless Bipartisanship
By David S. Broder
On Monday, with few of his colleagues present and the Senate press galleries largely unoccupied, Sen. Lamar Alexander of Tennessee took the floor to make one of those statements that fill the Congressional Record but rarely go any further.
“Last week,” he said, “while the media covered Iraq and U.S. attorneys, the Senate spent three days debating and passing perhaps the most important piece of legislation of this two-year session. Almost no one noticed.”
Alexander has a point. The bill, boldly named the America Competes Act, authorized an additional $16 billion over four years as part of a $60 billion effort to “double spending for physical sciences research, recruit 10,000 new math and science teachers and retrain 250,000 more, provide grants to researchers and invest more in high-risk, high-payoff research.”
As Alexander noted, “these were recommendations of a National Academy of Sciences task force” that he and others had asked to tell Congress the 10 things it most urgently needed to do “to help America keep its brainpower advantage so we can keep our jobs from going to China and India.”
David, let me explain something to you.
Investing money in physical sciences research and recruiting more math and science teachers is what we call a “no-brainer.” It’s such an obviously smart thing to do that I’d recommend jailing every single senator who voted against it for high crimes of dumbassery. Praising senators for passing this bill is like praising them for agreeing to pay people to clean toilets in the Capitol building. Hell, I can just imagine the Broder column that bill would result in…
Sentimental Hygiene
By David S. Broder
In a rare and sadly unreported move toward bipartisanship last week, the Senate passed the boldly-named Senate Scrubs Act, which appropriates funding to keep the toilets in the Capitol building free of unpleasant and smelly bacteria.
As Senator Lamar Alexander noted, “these were recommendations of my wife” who recommended it as one of the ten things Congress most urgently needed to do “to prevent me from coming home and reeking of butt.”
OK, back to David’s real column:
Back in December 2005, I wrote about the report that Alexander and Sens. Jeff Bingaman and Pete Domenici, both of New Mexico, had requested — and about the bipartisan support that seemed to be available for this “competitiveness” agenda. I even suggested that it was a natural topic for President Bush’s 2006 State of the Union address if he wanted to break through the growing partisan roadblocks on Capitol Hill.
The president included these ideas in his message but did little to build public support or press Congress for action. Nonetheless, major elements of the bill passed the Senate last year, only to bog down in the bitterly divided House.
“Bitterly divided House” my ass. It was a House that was being run by a bunch of corrupt morons. The only way you could’ve passed any useful bill in that House was if you attached a rider to it that guaranteed a lifetime supply of skybox seats and hot tub parties. Mercifully, the American public finally, finally wised up and fired their sorry asses.
But persistence paid off. As Alexander said, “Senators and their staffs worked across party lines for two years. Senior committee members, chairmen and ranking members, waived jurisdictional prerogatives. The administration participated in extensive ‘homework sessions’ with senators and outside experts. The effort was so bipartisan that when the Senate shifted to the Democrats in January, the new majority leader and minority leader introduced the same bill their predecessors had in the last Congress. Seventy senators co-sponsored the legislation. . . . The final vote was 88 to 8.”
The fight is far from over. The House has yet to act on most of the provisions, and finding the money to implement them will not be easy. Alexander and Bingaman added an amendment to the budget resolution allowing $1 billion of extra spending for the first-year costs of the program. Domenici and other appropriators will try to steer funds in that direction, Alexander said.
Alexander’s larger point is that this is the model Congress and the president need to follow — if any of the major challenges facing the country are to be met.
“There are issues that are too big for either party to solve by itself,” Alexander told me. “Globalization and competitiveness are two of them. Immigration is the next one on the agenda. And then there is health care.”
And, uh, there’s also that thingee going on in Iraq right now. You know, the thingee where lots of people are going “boom.” It’s called a “war.” You might want to deal with it once you’re done holding hands and slapping each other on the back.
He pointed out that the bipartisan breakfast sessions that he and Sen. Joe Lieberman of Connecticut…
Of course!
…have been hosting regularly this year have included discussions of health policy. As a byproduct of the breakfasts, “10 of us, five Republicans and five Democrats, have written the president saying that we are ready to work with him on a bill that has two principles — universal coverage and private markets. We hope he responds.”
He won’t guys. He’s a raging idiot. You should know that by now.
Iraq looms as the supreme test, of course, and Alexander, a Bush supporter, nonetheless says “it was a mistake” for the president not to seize on the Baker-Hamilton commission recommendations as the basis for a bipartisan answer to the dilemma of the war. “It’s still sitting there on the shelf,” he said, implying that Bush will have to come back to Baker-Hamilton at some point.
But he won’t, guys. He won’t, he won’t, he won’t. He’s a full-fledged wingnut, and because you “sensible centrists” are still apparently too dense to realize this, and because you never had the stones to stand up to him, we’re stuck in Iraq for God knows how long. Thanks, peeps. Big up yo’selves.
Meantime, Alexander has a gentle reminder for the press that our mind-set means that “unfortunately, bipartisan success, even on the biggest, most complex issues, has an excellent chance of remaining a secret.
“Despite the size of the accomplishment, the passage of the 208-page America Competes Act was barely noticed by the major media. This is not a complaint, merely an observation. More than ever, the media, outside interest groups and party structures reward conflict and the taking of irreconcilable positions. There is little reward for reconciling principled positions into legislation.”
Sadly, I think he is right.
Fire David Broder. Do it now.
Priceless. Much thanks.
D…a…m…nnnnnn. Look, I’m all for forging consensus, but this has to be the most dumbass example of bipartisan success I’ve ever heard. Seriously, if this Bipartisan Breakfast group had something concrete to offer, like a plan the President would follow to get the US out of Iraq (not gonna happen I know but…) then you’d actually have something.
Why is this guy paid money to spout his opinions?
“it was a mistake� for the president not to seize on the Baker-Hamilton commission recommendations as the basis for a bipartisan answer to the dilemma of the war. “It’s still sitting there on the shelf,� he said, implying that Bush will have to come back to Baker-Hamilton at some point.
Yeah, the fact that the narcissistic psychopath refuses to realize that god may not actually speak to him, acknowledge that the sun doesn’t actually shine out of his ass, and admit he made a mistake is completely and totally the Democrats fault.
Right. Gotcha.
Correction: Broder would only write the “Senate Cleans Toilets” piece if 1) he could somehow spin it to reflect well on McCain’s manly log-dropping habits or 2) he could use it as an example of what a swell, bipartisan guy Joe Lieberman is for suggesting that Democrats pick the corn and peanuts out of the floaters.
10 of us, five Republicans and five Democrats, have written the president saying that we are ready to work with him on a bill that has two principles — universal coverage and private markets. We hope he responds
In the infinitesimally tiny chance that anything comes of this, any bets which of these two “principles” will remain standing at the end of the day?
After the last body is interred at the end of the Math And Science Teacher War history will vindicate Broder as the vanguard in recording this newest and most pernicious example of typical liberal dolchstoss.
You try walking through the mall with a knife in your back and see what kind of reaction you get!
David Broder is becoming more turtle than man. In facial appearance, at least.
You want bipartisanship?
You want The Editors/Airwolf ’08!
Thank you Mr. Broder for this informative column. This does sound like good legislation which ought to be passed.
I am confused, however, by something you wrote (failed to write). When you write: “Nonetheless, major elements of the bill passed the Senate last year, only to bog down in the bitterly divided House.”, I would like to know, if you in fact know, what was the bitter divide in the House.
Was the legislation opposed by representatives whose district bordered on large bodies of water? Was the legislation opposed by representatives of urban districts? Was the legislation opposed by representatives of districts containing super majorities of minorities? Is there any general distinguishing characteristic of those who “bitterly” opposed the legislation which you can communicate to your readers? If you could disclose to us the bill designation, it would make it easier for us to look up the legislative history on the web, or you might just see fit to add an addendum to this column which clarifies the point.
I even suggested that it was a natural topic for President Bush’s 2006 State of the Union address … The president included these ideas in his message
Yah. Like Bush listens to him. Right.
Broder (my emphasis):
A minor problem, but one with a simple solution. We can just borrow the money from the central banks of China and Japan.
I read the dead tree version of this pile of manure this morning. My immediate thought was along the lines of the following:
1. David Broder has a congenital need to cast things he likes as “bipartisan,” even if half of the “bi-” is composed of Joe Lieberman and Ben Nelson.
2. David Broder was so mercilessly pounded last week, he knew there was no way he could write about Iraq, Abu Gonzales or any other major dispute now going on in DC. Not unless he was up for another week of being a punching bag for every blog to the left of Confederate Yankee.
3. David Broder therefore needed to find a way to continue harping on “bipartisanship” without the shit being beaten out of him.
4. The result was the pile of steaming horse shit you see presented before you here.
My conclusion is that Broder has truly, madly, deeply jumped the shark. He can’t bring himself to say “Christ Almighty, was I a dumbass. What was I thinking?” because he still thinks the same, stupidass stuff he did before.
In short, Broder has flinched, big time. What a complete embarrassment.
to help America keep its brainpower advantage
hmmm. Maybe we should stop advocating for non-science to be taught in science class? just a thought.
How the heck can David Broder unself-consciously write a column complaining that the news media doesn’t adequately cover bipartisan initiatives? Is he not a member of the news media?
But Broder is right, how to we get the Democrats behind the bipartizan Senate Scubs Act?
This really, really reminds me of a baseball story, about how Lou Gehrig knew it was time to give up the game when his teammates started congratulating him for making routine plays.
“The president included these ideas in his message but did little to build public support or press Congress for action. Nonetheless, major elements of the bill passed the Senate last year, only to bog down in the bitterly divided House.
…
The effort was so bipartisan that when the Senate shifted to the Democrats in January, the new majority leader and minority leader introduced the same bill their predecessors had in the last Congress. Seventy senators co-sponsored the legislation. . . . The final vote was 88 to 8.â€?”
Is it me or does this have considerably less to do with bipartisanship and considerably more to do with the dicks in charge of the Republican party no longer being able to set the agenda?
yeah, Ginger, now that the Democrats have actually moved some things forward, the Republicans waste no time trying to take credit for it.
The previous Congress saw their duties as solely being a roadblock.
something, a pun, a joke, here are the component parts:
david broder
bi-sexuality
oögenesis
bi-partisan
joe lieberman.
just add water. or wanker. whatever.
I’d say Mr. Broder is just a little bi-curious.
funding for science: $60 billion
additional funding for science: $16 billion
having control over what these nerdy freaks can say: priceless
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2007/4/3/132447/7483
From the AP:
In current news, David Broder was found unconscious in his home today following bipartisan approval of the “Puppies are cute” act of 2007. The final vote was 98-2 with Tom Coburn and Wayne Allard voting against because “Damn those puppies are tasty!” according to their spokespersons. Broder was resting comfortably recovering from his injuries, believed to be caused by a malfunction of his autoerotic asphyxiation apparatus.
Yeah, that bill’s going to work out real well. First, all those egghead teachers & researchers are going to want to be paid a living wage, then they’ll want to earn enough to pay their college loans, so taxes to pay teachers & researchers go up, then the corporations shipping the jobs to Asia (the cause of the problem in the first place, by the way) will start the usual bitch & moan that taxes force them to export jobs, & you can lay Bill Bennett money down they’ll do more of that before cutting dividends for their precious parasite stockholders. What we need is a bi-partisan Save America From Its Own Greed Act of 2008, but that might disturb Broder’s carefully calculated equilibrium of the last 100 or so years.
David Broder has a deathly fear that if he opens his mouth and actually says something sensible his ass will fall off.